You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table and pie charts below show the number of research students in Australian universities in 2001 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The table and pie charts below show the number of research students in Australian universities in 2001 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.

Statistical data on the bulk of student researchers in Australian universities throughout 2001 and 2010 is illustrated in the given table.
Generally, an upward tendency was witnessed by the surging number of students in both catagories: local students and international ones. Most significantly, the highest amount of local students in 2010 was far away the other.
In 2001, the total of students researchers was about 39,849 persons. In the major, the local researchers took a huge part: 33,657 on 38,849; while the number of international students in Australian acadamic instituts.
Over 9 years, there was a dramatic increase in the total which leaded to 54,081 acadamic pursuers. Overall, the local students still took a major in the total, while the international occupated a small part: 39,488 and 14,593 on 54,081. After 9 years, there modestly increased by more than 5,600 students in the category of native researchers, while the international research students skyrocketed to 14,593 persons in the same year.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "the bulk of student researchers" -> "the majority of student researchers"
   Explanation: "Bulk" is informal and can imply a physical quantity, while "majority" is more precise and appropriate in an academic context.

2. "is illustrated in the given table" -> "is presented in the provided table"
   Explanation: "Presented" is a more formal term than "illustrated," which can imply a visual representation rather than a data display. "Provided" is also more formal than "given."

3. "an upward tendency was witnessed by the surging number" -> "an upward trend was observed in the increasing number"
   Explanation: "Trend" is a more precise term than "tendency," and "observed" is a more formal choice than "witnessed." "Increasing" is clearer than "surging," which can imply volatility.

4. "the highest amount of local students in 2010 was far away the other" -> "the highest number of local students in 2010 was significantly greater than that of international students"
   Explanation: "Number" is more appropriate than "amount" when referring to countable entities like students. "Significantly greater" provides clarity and precision, while "that of international students" maintains formality.

5. "the total of students researchers was about 39,849 persons" -> "the total number of student researchers was approximately 39,849"
   Explanation: "Total number" is more precise than "total of," and "approximately" is a more formal alternative to "about." "Persons" is unnecessary; "students" suffices.

6. "In the major, the local researchers took a huge part" -> "In this context, local researchers comprised a significant portion"
   Explanation: "In this context" clarifies the reference, while "comprised" is a more formal term than "took." "Significant portion" is more precise than "huge part."

7. "while the number of international students in Australian acadamic instituts" -> "while the number of international students in Australian academic institutions"
   Explanation: "Academic institutions" is the correct spelling and a more formal phrase than "acadamic instituts."

8. "there was a dramatic increase in the total which leaded to 54,081 acadamic pursuers" -> "there was a dramatic increase in the total, which led to 54,081 academic researchers"
   Explanation: "Led" is the correct past tense of "lead," and "academic researchers" is more precise than "acadamic pursuers."

9. "the local students still took a major in the total" -> "local students continued to constitute the majority of the total"
   Explanation: "Constituted the majority" is a more formal and precise expression than "took a major in."

10. "while the international occupated a small part" -> "while international students constituted a smaller proportion"
    Explanation: "Constituted" is more formal than "occupated," and "smaller proportion" is clearer than "small part."

11. "there modestly increased by more than 5,600 students in the category of native researchers" -> "there was a modest increase of more than 5,600 students in the category of domestic researchers"
    Explanation: "There was a modest increase" is grammatically correct, and "domestic researchers" is a more formal term than "native researchers."

12. "while the international research students skyrocketed to 14,593 persons in the same year" -> "while the number of international research students increased dramatically to 14,593 in the same year"
    Explanation: "Increased dramatically" is a more precise and formal expression than "skyrocketed," and "persons" is unnecessary.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends in the data. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "the local students still took a major in the total, while the international occupated a small part" but does not provide any specific data to support this claim.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. The essay should also focus on presenting the key features/bullet points of the data, rather than providing irrelevant details. The essay should also be more accurate in its presentation of the data. For example, the essay states that "the highest amount of local students in 2010 was far away the other" but does not provide any specific data to support this claim. The essay should also be more concise and avoid repetition. For example, the essay states that "the total of students researchers was about 39,849 persons" and then later states that "the total which leaded to 54,081 acadamic pursuers". This information could be combined into a single sentence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but it lacks clear overall progression. While it attempts to compare the data from 2001 and 2010, the structure is somewhat disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of information. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, leading to confusion in understanding the relationships between ideas. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, as it does not clearly separate different points or comparisons, which detracts from the overall coherence.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing the information logically, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic. Using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately will help clarify the relationships between ideas. Additionally, improving the accuracy of terminology and ensuring that paragraphs are well-structured will contribute to a clearer progression of ideas throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the main features of the data, the use of vocabulary is often repetitive and lacks precision. There are noticeable errors in spelling (e.g., "catagories," "acadamic," "lead") and word formation ("pursuers," "occupated") that may cause some difficulty for the reader. The essay does not effectively utilize less common lexical items, and the overall control of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the intended meaning clearly.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary by incorporating a wider range of synonyms and less common terms relevant to the topic. Additionally, careful proofreading to correct spelling and word formation errors would improve clarity. Using more precise language and varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more sophisticated expression of ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as "the bulk of student researchers" and "the highest amount of local students," which detract from clarity. Punctuation issues, such as missing commas and incorrect use of conjunctions, further hinder understanding. While the main ideas are communicated, the errors can cause some difficulty for the reader.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex sentences. Additionally, careful proofreading to correct grammatical and punctuation errors will enhance clarity. Practicing the use of accurate vocabulary and ensuring that comparisons are clearly articulated will also contribute to a more coherent and polished essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

Statistical data on the number of research students in Australian universities in 2001 and 2010 is illustrated in the given table. Generally, an upward trend was observed in the increasing number of students in both categories: local and international students. Most significantly, the number of local students in 2010 was considerably higher than that of international students.

In 2001, the total number of research students was approximately 39,849. Predominantly, local researchers comprised a substantial portion, with 33,657 out of 39,849, while the number of international students in Australian academic institutions was significantly lower.

Over the nine-year period, there was a dramatic increase in the total, which rose to 54,081 research students. Overall, local students continued to dominate the total, while international students occupied a smaller segment, with 39,488 local and 14,593 international students in 2010. After nine years, there was a modest increase of more than 5,600 students in the category of local researchers, while the number of international research students surged to 14,593 in the same year.