Describe a memorable trip

I’ve always dreamed of visiting Da Nang, a beautiful coastal city in central Vietnam, known for its amazing beaches, mountains, and landmarks like the Golden Bridge. Even though I’ve never been there, it seems like the perfect place to relax and explore.
One of the main reasons I want to visit Da Nang is because it offers a great mix of nature, culture, and peaceful surroundings. It would be a nice break from the busy life in Hanoi, giving me a chance to relax and enjoy time with my family. We haven’t gone on a trip together in a long time, so it would be great to do something fun as a family. My parents could enjoy the quiet beaches, while my siblings and I could explore the mountains, or maybe even visit the nearby city of Hội An.
In Da Nang, I would love to spend time at the beach, enjoying the fresh air and clear waters. I also really want to visit Bà Nà Hills and see the Golden Bridge. The photos of it look so beautiful, and I’d love to see it in real life. Another thing I’m excited about is trying the local seafood, as Da Nang is famous for its fresh and tasty dishes.
Overall, Da Nang seems like the perfect place for a relaxing holiday, with its natural beauty and rich culture. It would be a great way to escape the busy city life and create lasting memories with my family.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"I’ve always dreamed" -> "I have always envisioned"
Explanation: Replacing "dreamed" with "envisioned" shifts the tone to a more formal and precise expression, suitable for academic writing, which typically avoids colloquial language like "dreamed."
"known for its amazing beaches, mountains, and landmarks like the Golden Bridge" -> "renowned for its stunning beaches, mountains, and iconic landmarks such as the Golden Bridge"
Explanation: "Renowned" is more formal than "known," and "stunning" and "iconic" are more precise adjectives than "amazing." Additionally, "such as" is more formal than "like" in academic writing.
"it seems like the perfect place" -> "it appears to be an ideal destination"
Explanation: "Appears to be an ideal destination" is more formal and precise, fitting the academic style better than the colloquial "seems like."
"I want to visit Da Nang is because" -> "I wish to visit Da Nang because"
Explanation: "Wish" is more formal than "want" in this context, and the correct preposition is "because," not "is because."
"it would be a nice break" -> "it would provide a welcome respite"
Explanation: "Provide a welcome respite" is more formal and specific than "be a nice break," aligning better with academic language.
"We haven’t gone on a trip together in a long time" -> "We have not taken a trip together for some time"
Explanation: "Have not taken" is more formal than "haven’t gone," and "for some time" is a more precise temporal expression than "in a long time."
"do something fun as a family" -> "engage in a family activity"
Explanation: "Engage in a family activity" is more formal and specific than "do something fun," which is too casual for academic writing.
"My parents could enjoy the quiet beaches" -> "My parents could appreciate the tranquil beaches"
Explanation: "Appreciate" is more formal than "enjoy," and "tranquil" is a more precise adjective than "quiet" in this context.
"I also really want to visit Bà Nà Hills" -> "I also aspire to visit Bà Nà Hills"
Explanation: "Aspire to" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "really want," which is too colloquial.
"The photos of it look so beautiful" -> "The photographs depict it as breathtaking"
Explanation: "Depict it as breathtaking" is more formal and precise than "look so beautiful," which is too casual and vague.
"I’d love to see it in real life" -> "I would be eager to see it in person"
Explanation: "Would be eager to see it in person" is more formal and precise than "I’d love to see it in real life," which is conversational.
"trying the local seafood" -> "sampling the local seafood"
Explanation: "Sampling" is a more formal term than "trying," which is commonly used in casual contexts.
"Da Nang is famous for its fresh and tasty dishes" -> "Da Nang is renowned for its fresh and delectable cuisine"
Explanation: "Renowned" and "delectable cuisine" elevate the formality and specificity of the description, making it more suitable for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by describing a memorable trip, specifically focusing on the writer’s desire to visit Da Nang. However, it does not provide a personal experience of a trip, which is a key aspect of the prompt. The essay primarily discusses aspirations rather than recounting a past experience, which limits its effectiveness in fully answering the question.
- How to improve: To better answer the prompt, the writer should share a specific memorable trip they have taken, detailing experiences, emotions, and reflections from that trip. This could include anecdotes or significant moments that made the trip memorable.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear intention to convey the writer’s enthusiasm for visiting Da Nang. However, it lacks a definitive position regarding a past trip, which is essential for a more compelling narrative. The essay oscillates between aspiration and description, which can confuse the reader about the main focus.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the writer should establish a clear narrative structure that focuses on a specific trip. This could involve stating the trip’s significance upfront and then elaborating on key moments that illustrate why it was memorable.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas about what makes Da Nang appealing, such as its beaches, culture, and food. However, these ideas are not fully developed or supported with personal experiences or detailed descriptions. For instance, the mention of trying local seafood lacks depth and personal connection.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to expand on each idea with specific examples, perhaps by describing a particular meal they enjoyed or a memorable interaction with locals. This would provide a richer narrative and engage the reader more effectively.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the writer’s interest in Da Nang. However, the lack of a personal trip narrative leads to a somewhat scattered focus. The essay occasionally drifts into general descriptions rather than staying anchored in a specific memorable experience.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should concentrate on a singular experience, ensuring that all details contribute to the overarching narrative of that trip. This could involve outlining a timeline of events or emphasizing key moments that encapsulate the trip’s significance.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their essay and potentially achieve a higher band score in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that sets the context for the trip to Da Nang. Each paragraph builds on the previous one, detailing specific aspects of the trip, such as the reasons for visiting, activities planned, and the overall appeal of the location. For example, the transition from discussing the family aspect to specific attractions in Da Nang is smooth and maintains a coherent flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly outline the main idea. Additionally, incorporating a concluding paragraph that summarizes the key points and reiterates the significance of the trip could strengthen the overall structure.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the trip, such as the reasons for visiting, specific attractions, and the overall experience. This clear division helps the reader follow the writer’s thoughts without confusion.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is fully developed. For instance, the second paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on the family aspect and the other on the activities planned. This would allow for deeper exploration of each idea.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices such as "One of the main reasons," "Another thing I’m excited about," and "Overall," which help to connect ideas and guide the reader through the narrative. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay and demonstrate a good command of linking phrases.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of transitional phrases and conjunctions. For instance, using phrases like "In addition," "Furthermore," or "Conversely" could enhance the connections between ideas. Additionally, varying sentence structures and lengths can improve the flow and make the writing more engaging.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing information and using paragraphs and cohesive devices to create a clear and engaging narrative. With some minor adjustments, it could achieve an even higher level of sophistication in its structure and flow.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, particularly in describing the location and activities associated with Da Nang. Terms like "beautiful," "amazing beaches," and "peaceful surroundings" effectively convey the writer’s enthusiasm. However, the vocabulary remains somewhat basic and repetitive, with phrases like "great mix" and "nice break" appearing without variation.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer could incorporate synonyms or more descriptive adjectives. For example, instead of "great mix," they might use "harmonious blend" or "diverse combination." Additionally, varying sentence structures and using more complex vocabulary would elevate the overall quality of the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "great way to escape the busy city life" is somewhat vague; it could be more specific about what aspects of city life are being escaped. Additionally, "amazing beaches" could be replaced with a more descriptive term that captures the unique qualities of the beaches in Da Nang.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to use more specific terms that convey exact meanings. For instance, instead of "busy life," they could specify "hectic urban lifestyle." This not only enhances clarity but also enriches the essay’s overall quality.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no notable errors that detract from the overall readability. Words like "beautiful," "explore," and "memories" are spelled correctly, which reflects a good command of basic vocabulary.
- How to improve: To maintain and improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as writing exercises or spelling quizzes. Additionally, proofreading the essay for any overlooked errors can help catch any potential mistakes before submission. Utilizing tools like spell checkers can also be beneficial in identifying errors that may not be immediately obvious.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of vocabulary, there are opportunities for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy. By incorporating more diverse vocabulary, using precise language, and continuing to practice spelling, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of "Even though I’ve never been there, it seems like the perfect place to relax and explore" showcases a complex structure effectively. Additionally, the sentence "My parents could enjoy the quiet beaches, while my siblings and I could explore the mountains" employs a compound structure that adds variety. However, there is a tendency to rely on simpler structures, particularly in the latter parts of the essay, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences and varied conjunctions. For instance, using relative clauses (e.g., "which is known for its stunning landscapes") or participial phrases (e.g., "Having heard so much about it, I am eager to visit") can add depth and complexity. Additionally, varying the sentence openings can help maintain reader interest.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits good grammatical accuracy, with few errors. For instance, the phrase "it would be great to do something fun as a family" is grammatically correct and effectively conveys the writer’s intent. However, there are minor punctuation issues, such as the lack of commas in some compound sentences, which can lead to confusion. For example, "In Da Nang, I would love to spend time at the beach enjoying the fresh air and clear waters" could benefit from a comma before "enjoying" to clarify that it is an additional action.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, the writer should review the rules for using commas in compound and complex sentences. Practicing sentence diagramming can also help in understanding where punctuation is necessary. Additionally, proofreading the essay for minor errors before submission can help catch these issues, ensuring clarity and precision in writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

I have always envisioned visiting Da Nang, a beautiful coastal city in central Vietnam, renowned for its stunning beaches, mountains, and iconic landmarks such as the Golden Bridge. Even though I have never been there, it appears to be an ideal destination for relaxation and exploration.

One of the main reasons I wish to visit Da Nang is that it offers a wonderful blend of nature, culture, and peaceful surroundings. It would provide a welcome respite from the bustling life in Hanoi, giving me a chance to unwind and enjoy quality time with my family. We have not taken a trip together for some time, so it would be great to engage in a family activity. My parents could appreciate the tranquil beaches, while my siblings and I could explore the mountains or perhaps even visit the nearby city of Hội An.

In Da Nang, I would love to spend time at the beach, relishing the fresh air and clear waters. I also aspire to visit Bà Nà Hills and see the Golden Bridge. The photographs depict it as breathtaking, and I would be eager to see it in person. Another aspect I am excited about is sampling the local seafood, as Da Nang is renowned for its fresh and delectable cuisine.

Overall, Da Nang seems like the perfect place for a relaxing holiday, with its natural beauty and rich culture. It would be a fantastic way to escape the hectic city life and create lasting memories with my family.