Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, people are tend to work a same job or a hobby repetitively without changing in their lifetime. Some people like to do the same activity in daily life while the others prefer to make a change for the better. From my point of view, I am of the opinion that a change will positively effect to people's live. This essay will discuss both views with each pros and cons this statement given.

There are several reasons why people prefer doing or performing a job or leisure from time to time. The first main point is to make ends meet, which is clearly obvious in life. Let's take office workers as a job example, they are simply just sit on the office chair, type keyboard and handle with paperwork, this job surely is simple and can make income, however, it's very plain because they will just do the same thing in every single day, and this lead to their loss of chance of improving their unique ability. Secondly, working the same thing overtime will gain experience. Particularly, there are some office workers who work hard enough will be promoted to a specific position in the company and that is a good thing. Yet, despite the promotion, not many will be able to be like that because some of them can leave their job due to heavily competition for a good position and also stressful. Therefore, doing the same work year by year can earn salary and be promoted, but they will miss the chance of improving themselves.

On the other hand, I am convinced that a change will always a good thing. Firstly, people will find a better place to work. For example, landing to another job will require lots of changes from office environment to be used to with new colleagues, nevertheless, some changes will help them to see sense that they are in the right place to work, hence their life can be lively and better. Furthermore, they can have a chance to develop their interpersonal skills. Working or talking with friendly and easy-going colleagues is a way to improve people's communication skill and create a sense of purpose to work. Indeed, some people will find it difficult of changing to become a better version of themselves, I have a strong belief that they will strive to get used to working with their right field job.

In conclusion, I have come to the conclusion that a change will always a better sign, Even though some people might to stay the same job, I assume that they are will soon find the right reason to make a change, rather than working a job from nine to five.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "people are tend to work a same job or a hobby repetitively" -> "people tend to work the same job or pursue the same hobby repetitively"
   Explanation: "Tend to" should be a single word "tend" for grammatical correctness. "Work a same job" should be "work the same job" to use the correct definite article. "Pursue the same hobby" is more precise than "do the same hobby."

2. "without changing in their lifetime" -> "without changing throughout their lifetime"
   Explanation: "Without changing in their lifetime" is awkward and unclear. "Throughout their lifetime" is more natural and precise.

3. "a change will positively effect to people’s live" -> "a change will positively affect people’s lives"
   Explanation: "Effect" should be "affect" as "effect" is a noun, not a verb in this context. "People’s live" should be "people’s lives" for grammatical correctness and clarity.

4. "This essay will discuss both views with each pros and cons this statement given" -> "This essay will discuss both perspectives, highlighting the advantages and disadvantages of this statement"
   Explanation: "Both views with each pros and cons" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Highlighting the advantages and disadvantages" is clearer and more formal.

5. "make ends meet" -> "meet financial needs"
   Explanation: "Make ends meet" is an idiom that may be too informal for academic writing. "Meet financial needs" is a more precise and formal alternative.

6. "simply just sit on the office chair, type keyboard and handle with paperwork" -> "simply sit at their desks, type on keyboards, and handle paperwork"
   Explanation: "Handle with paperwork" is incorrect; "handle paperwork" is the correct phrase. "Type keyboard" should be "type on keyboards" for grammatical accuracy.

7. "this job surely is simple and can make income" -> "this job is straightforward and generates income"
   Explanation: "This job surely is simple" is redundant and informal. "Straightforward" is a more precise adjective for describing simplicity in a formal context.

8. "this lead to their loss of chance of improving their unique ability" -> "this leads to a loss of opportunity to develop their unique abilities"
   Explanation: "This lead" should be "this leads" for subject-verb agreement. "Loss of chance of improving" is awkward; "loss of opportunity to develop" is clearer and more formal.

9. "working the same thing overtime" -> "working the same job overtime"
   Explanation: "Working the same thing" is vague and incorrect. "Working the same job" is specific and correct.

10. "will gain experience" -> "will gain experience"
    Explanation: No change needed as the original is correct.

11. "heavily competition for a good position" -> "heavy competition for a good position"
    Explanation: "Heavily" is an adverb and should be "heavy" to agree with "competition."

12. "a change will always a good thing" -> "a change is always a good thing"
    Explanation: "Will always a good thing" is grammatically incorrect. "Is always a good thing" corrects the verb tense and structure.

13. "landing to another job" -> "moving to another job"
    Explanation: "Landing" is not the correct verb in this context; "moving" is more appropriate for describing a change in employment.

14. "be used to with new colleagues" -> "become accustomed to new colleagues"
    Explanation: "Be used to with" is grammatically incorrect. "Become accustomed to" is the correct phrase for describing the process of getting used to something.

15. "sense that they are in the right place to work" -> "sense that they are in the right work environment"
    Explanation: "Right place to work" is vague; "right work environment" is more specific and formal.

16. "create a sense of purpose to work" -> "give them a sense of purpose in their work"
    Explanation: "Create a sense of purpose to work" is awkward and unclear. "Give them a sense of purpose in their work" is clearer and more direct.

17. "some people will find it difficult of changing" -> "some people will find it difficult to change"
    Explanation: "Difficult of changing" is grammatically incorrect. "Difficult to change" is the correct form.

18. "a change will always a better sign" -> "a change is always a better sign"
    Explanation: "Will always a better sign" is grammatically incorrect. "Is always a better sign" corrects the verb tense and agreement.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the preference for stability versus change. The first paragraph discusses the reasons why some people prefer to stick to the same job or hobby, highlighting aspects like financial stability and the potential for promotion. The second paragraph presents the opposing viewpoint, arguing in favor of change and its benefits, such as improved interpersonal skills and job satisfaction. However, the discussion lacks depth in exploring the pros and cons of each perspective comprehensively. For instance, the advantages of stability are mentioned, but the essay does not delve into potential drawbacks of change, such as uncertainty or stress.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each viewpoint is explored more thoroughly. This could involve providing specific examples of the negative aspects of change and the potential benefits of stability, thereby creating a more balanced discussion.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The writer clearly states their position in favor of change in the introduction and reiterates this stance in the conclusion. However, the essay occasionally wavers in clarity, particularly in the transition between discussing the two viewpoints. The phrase "I am of the opinion that a change will positively effect to people’s live" could be more assertively articulated to reinforce the writer’s position.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer could use stronger transitional phrases that guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, restating the main argument more explicitly at the beginning of each paragraph could help reinforce the writer’s stance.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the benefits of stability (financial security) and change (personal development). However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the mention of "office workers" is vague, and the examples provided lack specific details that would make the argument more compelling. The phrase "working the same thing overtime will gain experience" is somewhat unclear and could be better articulated.
  • How to improve: The writer should aim to provide more specific examples and evidence to support their claims. This could include statistics, personal anecdotes, or more detailed scenarios that illustrate the points being made. Additionally, expanding on each idea with further explanation would strengthen the overall argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the two perspectives on change versus stability. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, particularly in the discussion of interpersonal skills, which could be more directly tied back to the main argument about the benefits of change. The phrase "some people will find it difficult of changing to become a better version of themselves" introduces a new idea that isn’t fully explored or connected back to the main argument.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central theme of the essay. This could involve revising sentences that introduce new ideas without sufficient context or connection to the main argument. Additionally, using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help reinforce the main focus of the discussion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents a clear argument, it would benefit from more depth, clarity, and specific examples to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the reasons for preferring stability to advocating for change is somewhat abrupt. The ideas within paragraphs are generally coherent, but some points lack clear connections to the main argument, such as the mention of office workers and their experiences, which could be better tied to the overall discussion of change.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the thesis statement. Additionally, use transitional phrases (e.g., "In contrast," "On the other hand") to signal shifts in perspective more effectively. This will help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the discussion, which is a strength. However, some paragraphs could be more balanced in length and depth. For instance, the paragraph discussing the reasons for preferring stability is longer and more detailed than the one advocating for change, which may lead to an imbalance in the argument.
  • How to improve: Aim for a more balanced development of ideas across paragraphs. Ensure that each viewpoint is given equal attention and depth. You might consider splitting longer paragraphs into two, focusing on distinct aspects of the argument, or expanding on the less developed points to provide a more comprehensive discussion.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "On the other hand," and "In conclusion." However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some phrases are used repetitively. For example, "a change will always a good thing" contains a grammatical error that affects clarity. Additionally, the use of linking words could be more varied to enhance the flow of ideas.
  • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., "Moreover," "Furthermore," "Conversely") to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, ensure that grammatical structures are correct to maintain clarity. For instance, revise phrases like "a change will always a good thing" to "change is always a positive aspect" to improve grammatical accuracy and coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents coherent arguments, focusing on logical organization, balanced paragraph development, and a broader range of cohesive devices will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "make ends meet," "promoted," and "interpersonal skills." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "doing the same thing" and "change." The use of synonyms or more varied expressions could enhance the essay’s lexical diversity. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "change," alternatives like "transition," "shift," or "transformation" could be employed.
  • How to improve: To improve lexical variety, the writer should practice using synonyms and exploring different ways to express similar ideas. Engaging with vocabulary exercises or reading a variety of texts can help expand their lexical range. Keeping a personal vocabulary journal to note down new words and their contexts might also be beneficial.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "people are tend to work" (should be "people tend to work") and "a change will positively effect to people’s live" (should be "a change will positively affect people’s lives"). These inaccuracies can lead to confusion and detract from the overall clarity of the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and ensure that word forms are correct. Regularly reviewing grammar rules and practicing sentence construction can help. Additionally, proofreading the essay for such errors before submission can significantly improve clarity.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "effect" (should be "affect"), "live" (should be "lives"), and "to be used to with new colleagues" (should be "to get used to new colleagues"). These mistakes can undermine the reader’s confidence in the writer’s language proficiency.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, perhaps using online tools or apps designed for this purpose. Reading extensively can also help reinforce correct spelling through exposure. Additionally, the writer should allocate time for proofreading to catch and correct spelling errors before finalizing their work.

By addressing these areas—vocabulary range, precision, and spelling—the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. For instance, the writer often relies on simple and compound sentences, such as "Some people like to do the same activity in daily life while the others prefer to make a change for the better." There are few complex sentences, which would enhance the essay’s depth. Additionally, phrases like "doing or performing a job or leisure from time to time" could be more effectively expressed with varied structures.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences. For example, instead of saying, "working the same thing overtime will gain experience," the writer could say, "While working the same job over time can lead to the accumulation of experience, it may also hinder personal growth." Engaging with different sentence types, such as conditional sentences or relative clauses, will enrich the writing.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, "people are tend to work a same job" should be "people tend to work the same job." Additionally, phrases like "effect to people’s live" should be corrected to "effect on people’s lives." Punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences (e.g., "Let’s take office workers as a job example, they are simply just sit on the office chair"), lead to run-on sentences that confuse the reader.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practicing sentence restructuring and proofreading for punctuation errors will also help. For instance, breaking long sentences into shorter ones can improve clarity. The writer could revise "this job surely is simple and can make income, however, it’s very plain because they will just do the same thing in every single day" to "This job is simple and provides income; however, it can become monotonous as workers perform the same tasks daily." Regular grammar exercises and reading well-structured essays can also aid in improving overall accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Improved Essay:**

Nowadays, people tend to work the same job or pursue the same hobby repetitively without changing throughout their lifetime. Some individuals prefer to engage in the same activities daily, while others believe that making a change for the better is essential. From my perspective, I am of the opinion that a change will positively affect people’s lives. This essay will discuss both views, highlighting the advantages and disadvantages of this statement.

There are several reasons why people prefer to perform the same job or leisure activity over time. The first main point is to meet financial needs, which is clearly evident in everyday life. For instance, office workers often simply sit at their desks, type on keyboards, and handle paperwork. While this job is straightforward and generates income, it can become monotonous as they do the same tasks every single day. This leads to a loss of opportunity to develop their unique abilities. Secondly, working the same job over time allows individuals to gain experience. Particularly, some office workers who work hard may be promoted to specific positions within the company, which is a positive outcome. However, not everyone will achieve this, as many may leave their jobs due to heavy competition for good positions and the associated stress. Therefore, while doing the same work year after year can provide a stable salary and potential promotions, it may also hinder personal growth.

On the other hand, I firmly believe that change is always a good thing. Firstly, people can find a better work environment. For example, moving to another job requires adapting to a new office setting and becoming accustomed to new colleagues. Nevertheless, such changes can help individuals feel that they are in the right work environment, making their lives more vibrant and fulfilling. Furthermore, they have the opportunity to develop their interpersonal skills. Working with friendly and easy-going colleagues can enhance communication skills and provide a sense of purpose in their work. Indeed, some people may find it difficult to change, but I strongly believe that they will strive to adapt and become a better version of themselves.

In conclusion, I have come to the conclusion that a change is always a better sign. Even though some people may prefer to stay in the same job, I believe they will eventually find compelling reasons to make a change rather than simply working from nine to five.