The best way to increase road transport safety is to make vehicle drivers take a driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People have different views about whether vehicle drivers should be forced to test driving ability yearly or not to create a more safe environment of transport. From my viewpoint, I strongly disagree with the first opinion although it can bring about some benefits.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that taking a driver test annually has a positive influence on residential cognitive mindset. Raising awareness of people who join in activities of transportation such as driving, walking or shipping can be mentioned as an excellent advantage because of not troubling the degrees of using vehicles. For example, knowing drivers have to do tests usually, the parents may feel safe when they allow their children to go to school and come across the road by themselves.
On the other hand, in spite of the specific benefit, disadvantages of taking a driving test annually can overshadow it significantly. Firstly, it is a waste of time that can cause some devastating consequences. Because of the feature of the driving test, drivers have to expend at least a day doing it, which leads to decreasing time spending on other crucial activities. For instance, holidays, tourists or even taking ill people to hospital must be canceled or delayed, which may affect difficulties in the future. Moreover, drivers who have financial burdens may be concerned if paying money whenever they do the test is required. This can be explained by the fact that the driving test costs a wide range of money and is often out of their budgets. Taking taxi drivers as an example, it is evidence that almost their salaries are so poor that it is enough for them to pay for living standards, resulting in financial stress. Furthermore, it is unnecessary for people who deeply understand the rules and attitudes of a driver. Therefore, the test driving will not only play a severe role in their life but also be an extreme obstacle.
In conclusion, despite the bright side of testing annually, its drawbacks, which are a waste of time and money as well as causing problems, still outweigh.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"People have different views about whether vehicle drivers should be forced to test driving ability yearly or not" -> "There are differing opinions on whether drivers should be required to undergo annual driving tests"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and informal. The suggested revision clarifies the meaning and uses more formal language suitable for academic writing.
"to create a more safe environment of transport" -> "to enhance road safety"
Explanation: "Environment of transport" is an awkward and unclear term. "Enhance road safety" is a more precise and commonly used phrase in academic and formal contexts.
"From my viewpoint, I strongly disagree" -> "I strongly disagree"
Explanation: The phrase "From my viewpoint" is redundant when followed by "I." Removing it simplifies the sentence and maintains the formal tone.
"it can bring about some benefits" -> "it may yield certain benefits"
Explanation: "Bring about" is somewhat informal and vague. "Yield" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.
"raising awareness of people who join in activities of transportation" -> "raising awareness among individuals participating in transportation activities"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and unclear. The revision clarifies the meaning and uses more formal language.
"not troubling the degrees of using vehicles" -> "not affecting the proficiency in vehicle operation"
Explanation: "Not troubling the degrees of using vehicles" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. "Not affecting the proficiency in vehicle operation" is grammatically correct and more precise.
"knowing drivers have to do tests usually" -> "drivers being aware that they must take tests regularly"
Explanation: The original phrase is informal and lacks clarity. The suggested revision is more formal and clearly communicates the intended meaning.
"it is a waste of time that can cause some devastating consequences" -> "it is a time-consuming process that can have severe consequences"
Explanation: "Waste of time" is somewhat informal and vague. "Time-consuming process" is more precise and formal, and "severe consequences" is a more appropriate term than "devastating" in an academic context.
"drivers have to expend at least a day doing it" -> "drivers must dedicate at least a day to this process"
Explanation: "Expend" is less common in this context and can be misunderstood. "Dedicate" is more appropriate and clear in this context, enhancing the formality of the text.
"which leads to decreasing time spending on other crucial activities" -> "resulting in reduced time for other essential activities"
Explanation: "Decreasing time spending" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Reduced time for" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"Taking taxi drivers as an example" -> "For example, taxi drivers"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed. The revision simplifies and clarifies the example, making it more suitable for academic writing.
"it is enough for them to pay for living standards" -> "it is insufficient to cover their living expenses"
Explanation: "Enough for them to pay for living standards" is awkward and unclear. "Insufficient to cover their living expenses" is more precise and formal.
"the test driving will not only play a severe role in their life but also be an extreme obstacle" -> "the annual driving test will not only significantly impact their lives but also pose a significant obstacle"
Explanation: "Play a severe role" and "be an extreme obstacle" are overly dramatic and informal. The suggested revision uses more measured language suitable for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of requiring annual driving tests. The writer presents a clear disagreement with the idea, which is a positive aspect. However, the exploration of the benefits is somewhat superficial and lacks depth. For instance, the mention of raising awareness among drivers is relevant but could be better supported with examples or elaboration on how this awareness translates to improved safety.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that both sides of the argument are explored in greater detail. This could involve providing more concrete examples of how annual tests could improve safety, as well as a deeper analysis of the drawbacks. Including statistics or studies related to road safety and driving tests could strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position against annual driving tests, which is commendable. However, the transition between the discussion of benefits and drawbacks could be smoother. The phrase "although it can bring about some benefits" introduces ambiguity, as it suggests some level of agreement with the opposing viewpoint, which could confuse readers.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should explicitly state their stance in the introduction and conclusion, reinforcing it throughout the essay. Using phrases like "Despite some potential benefits, I firmly believe…" can help clarify the position and guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the time and financial burdens of annual tests. However, these ideas are not fully developed. For example, the discussion on financial stress could benefit from more specific examples or data to illustrate the point. Additionally, the idea of cognitive awareness is introduced but not sufficiently expanded upon.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on each point made, providing additional examples or evidence to support claims. For instance, discussing specific scenarios where a lack of annual testing has led to accidents could provide a stronger basis for the argument against the tests.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay stays on topic, focusing on the question of annual driving tests. However, some sentences, particularly in the second body paragraph, deviate slightly by introducing the idea of financial burdens without clearly linking it back to the central argument about safety.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the central thesis. This can be achieved by explicitly connecting each argument to the overall question of road safety and the effectiveness of annual tests in enhancing it. For example, when discussing financial burdens, the writer could clarify how these burdens might lead to less safe driving practices, thereby linking back to the main topic.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay could potentially achieve a higher band score in Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the writer’s viewpoint. The body paragraphs are organized into two main arguments: one supporting the benefits of annual driving tests and the other highlighting the drawbacks. However, the transition between the two sides could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "On the one hand" is followed by a somewhat abrupt shift to "On the other hand," which could benefit from a clearer linking statement that emphasizes the contrast.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly indicate the shift in perspective, such as "Conversely" or "In contrast." Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea will help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument. However, the second body paragraph could be further divided into smaller paragraphs to enhance clarity, especially since it covers multiple points regarding the disadvantages of annual testing.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones when introducing new ideas or examples. For instance, the discussion of financial burdens and the specific example of taxi drivers could be separated into two distinct paragraphs. This would help maintain focus and clarity, allowing each point to be developed more thoroughly.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "Firstly," which help to structure the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be strengthened. For example, the transition from discussing the benefits of awareness to the drawbacks of time wastage feels abrupt and lacks a cohesive link.
- How to improve: To diversify and enhance the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Additionally," "Furthermore," "In addition," and "Consequently." This will help to create smoother transitions between ideas and reinforce the relationships between different points in the argument. Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts can improve cohesion within paragraphs.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion with a clear structure and logical organization, there are areas for improvement. Focusing on smoother transitions, effective paragraphing, and a broader range of cohesive devices will enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with phrases like "cognitive mindset," "waste of time," and "financial burdens." These terms show an ability to express complex ideas. However, some vocabulary choices are slightly awkward or imprecise, such as "join in activities of transportation," which could be more clearly expressed as "participate in transportation activities."
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "test," alternatives like "assessment" or "evaluation" could be used. Additionally, using idiomatic expressions or more sophisticated vocabulary could elevate the essay further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage that could lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "not troubling the degrees of using vehicles" is unclear and does not effectively communicate the intended meaning. The term "specific benefit" is also vague and could be more explicitly defined.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on clarity and precision in word choice. For example, instead of "not troubling the degrees of using vehicles," a clearer expression might be "ensuring responsible vehicle use." Additionally, providing definitions or explanations for terms that may not be universally understood can enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits good spelling, with only a few minor errors. For instance, "residential cognitive mindset" may be a typographical error or misphrasing, as "residential" does not fit the context. The phrase "taking ill people to hospital" is grammatically correct, but "to the hospital" would be more standard in English.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, focusing on commonly misspelled words and ensuring that phrases are contextually appropriate. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can also help identify errors that may be overlooked during writing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, but with targeted improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling, the writer can aim for a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For example, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "Raising awareness of people who join in activities of transportation such as driving, walking or shipping can be mentioned as an excellent advantage." However, there is a tendency to rely on simpler sentence forms, which limits the overall complexity. Additionally, some sentences are awkwardly constructed, such as "which leads to decreasing time spending on other crucial activities," which could be more fluid.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound and complex sentences. For instance, instead of saying "it is a waste of time that can cause some devastating consequences," you might say, "While some argue that annual driving tests enhance safety, they can also lead to significant time wastage, which may have devastating consequences." This not only varies the structure but also enhances clarity and flow.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "to create a more safe environment of transport" should be "to create a safer transport environment." Additionally, phrases like "the degrees of using vehicles" are unclear and awkward. There are also punctuation errors, such as missing commas that could enhance readability, e.g., "which leads to decreasing time spending on other crucial activities" would benefit from a comma before "which."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. For instance, ensure that adjectives are used correctly (e.g., "safer" instead of "more safe"). Additionally, practice using punctuation effectively by reviewing rules for commas, especially in complex sentences. Reading more academic essays can also help in understanding proper grammatical structures and punctuation usage.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument and some relevant examples, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly elevate the writing quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

People have differing opinions on whether vehicle drivers should be required to undergo annual driving tests to enhance road safety. From my viewpoint, I strongly disagree with this notion, although it may yield certain benefits.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that taking a driving test annually can positively influence individuals’ cognitive awareness. Raising awareness among those participating in transportation activities, such as driving, walking, or cycling, can be seen as a significant advantage, as it may not affect the proficiency in vehicle operation. For example, knowing that drivers must take tests regularly may provide parents with peace of mind when allowing their children to navigate busy roads independently.

On the other hand, despite the potential benefits, the disadvantages of mandatory annual driving tests can significantly overshadow them. Firstly, it is a time-consuming process that can have severe consequences. Due to the nature of the driving test, drivers must dedicate at least a day to this process, resulting in reduced time for other essential activities. For instance, holidays, appointments, or even transporting sick individuals to the hospital may need to be canceled or delayed, leading to difficulties in the future. Moreover, drivers who face financial burdens may be concerned about the costs associated with taking the test each year. This can be explained by the fact that the driving test often incurs significant expenses, which may be out of reach for many. Taking taxi drivers as an example, it is evident that their earnings are often insufficient to cover their living expenses, resulting in financial stress. Furthermore, it is unnecessary for individuals who already possess a deep understanding of driving rules and responsibilities to undergo such testing. Therefore, annual driving tests will not only significantly impact their lives but also pose a significant obstacle.

In conclusion, despite the potential advantages of annual testing, its drawbacks—such as being a waste of time and money, as well as causing various problems—still outweigh the benefits.