TASK 1 The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in Netherland between 2001 and 2006
TASK 1
The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in Netherland between 2001 and 2006
The graph given illustrates the figure for changes in types of travel in Netherland from 2001 to 2006. Overall, the statistics of average distance in miles which per person travelled by total modes were increased from 2001 to 2006.In term of 2001, the figure for Car was the highest, Taxi was the lowest of the list, whilst after 5 year, Car was remain its rank while the smallest of average distance in mile travelled was exchanged for Bicycle.
About the statistics in 2001, Car was on the top of the list, with 3199 average distances in miles. The statistics of average miles of all remain was clearly much times lower than Car, that arrange sequentially Other, Local bus, Walking, Train, Local distance bus, bicycle and Taxi which all stood at around 13-45.
About the figure for average distance in miles moved per visitor in 2006, Car was on premium by visitors which stood at 4806 after 5 years experienced a significant increase trend from 2001. Other types of travel was trailed behind, which stood at 585, obviously. In the similar way, there was some slight variation by Train, local distance bus and taxi that average distance traveled per person was increased by 366, 124 and 42. On the other hand, Walking and Bicycle was mildly decreased to around 10-18 compared to previous figures whilst Local bus was significantly decreased to 155 compared to initial statistics.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"the figure for changes in types of travel" -> "the data on changes in modes of travel"
Explanation: "Data" is more precise than "figure," and "modes of travel" is a more formal and accurate term than "types of travel." -
"in Netherland" -> "in the Netherlands"
Explanation: "Netherlands" is the correct name of the country, and it should be preceded by the definite article "the." -
"the statistics of average distance in miles which per person travelled by total modes were increased" -> "the statistics on the average distance traveled per person by all modes increased"
Explanation: "Statistics on" is more appropriate than "statistics of," and the phrase is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness. -
"In term of 2001" -> "In terms of 2001"
Explanation: The correct phrase is "in terms of," which indicates a consideration of the year 2001. -
"Car was remain its rank" -> "Car maintained its rank"
Explanation: "Maintained" is the correct verb form, as "was remain" is grammatically incorrect. -
"the smallest of average distance in mile travelled was exchanged for Bicycle" -> "the lowest average distance traveled was replaced by Bicycle"
Explanation: "Lowest" is more precise than "smallest," and "replaced by" is a clearer expression than "exchanged for." -
"the statistics of average miles of all remain was clearly much times lower than Car" -> "the average distances for all other modes were significantly lower than that of Car"
Explanation: "Average distances" is clearer, "all other modes" is more precise, and "significantly lower" is a more formal expression than "much times lower." -
"that arrange sequentially Other, Local bus, Walking, Train, Local distance bus, bicycle and Taxi which all stood at around 13-45" -> "which were arranged sequentially as follows: Other, Local Bus, Walking, Train, Local Distance Bus, Bicycle, and Taxi, all of which averaged around 13 to 45 miles."
Explanation: This restructuring improves clarity and flow, and the use of "averaged" is more precise. -
"About the figure for average distance in miles moved per visitor in 2006" -> "Regarding the average distance traveled per visitor in 2006"
Explanation: "Regarding" is a more formal transition than "About," and "traveled" is a more precise verb than "moved." -
"Car was on premium by visitors which stood at 4806" -> "Car was the most preferred mode among visitors, averaging 4,806 miles"
Explanation: "Most preferred mode" is clearer and more formal than "on premium," and "averaging" is a more precise term. -
"after 5 years experienced a significant increase trend from 2001" -> "after five years, it experienced a significant upward trend from 2001"
Explanation: "It" clarifies the subject, and "upward trend" is a more formal expression than "increase trend." -
"Other types of travel was trailed behind, which stood at 585, obviously." -> "Other types of travel lagged behind, averaging 585 miles."
Explanation: "Lagged behind" is a more formal expression than "trailed behind," and "averaging" is clearer than "stood at." -
"In the similar way" -> "Similarly,"
Explanation: "Similarly" is a more concise and formal transition. -
"there was some slight variation by Train, local distance bus and taxi that average distance traveled per person was increased by 366, 124 and 42." -> "there were slight increases in the average distances traveled per person for Train, Local Distance Bus, and Taxi, which rose by 366, 124, and 42 miles, respectively."
Explanation: This restructuring improves clarity and grammatical accuracy. -
"On the other hand, Walking and Bicycle was mildly decreased to around 10-18 compared to previous figures" -> "Conversely, Walking and Bicycle experienced slight decreases to approximately 10 to 18 miles compared to previous figures."
Explanation: "Conversely" is a more formal transition, and "experienced slight decreases" is clearer and more precise. -
"whilst Local bus was significantly decreased to 155 compared to initial statistics." -> "while Local Bus significantly decreased to 155 miles compared to the initial statistics."
Explanation: "While" is more appropriate than "whilst" in academic writing, and adding "miles" clarifies the unit of measurement.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends in the data. It also recounts detail mechanically with no clear overview. The essay presents some key features/bullet points, but it inadequately covers them. There is a tendency to focus on details rather than providing a clear overview of the data.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. The essay should also focus on presenting the key features/bullet points in a more concise and organized way. The essay should avoid recounting detail mechanically and instead focus on providing a clear and concise overview of the data.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to describe the changes in modes of travel, the ideas are not clearly linked, and the use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate. For example, phrases like "About the statistics in 2001" and "About the figure for average distance in miles moved per visitor in 2006" do not effectively transition between ideas. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, with some sections lacking clear separation of ideas. Overall, the essay does not meet the requirements for a higher band due to these issues.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on logically organizing the information with clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Using a wider range of cohesive devices accurately will help in linking ideas more effectively. Additionally, ensuring that paragraphs are used appropriately to separate distinct points will improve the overall clarity and flow of the essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey information about the changes in modes of travel, the use of vocabulary is repetitive and lacks variety. There are noticeable errors in spelling and word formation, such as "was remain" instead of "remained" and "the smallest of average distance in mile travelled was exchanged for Bicycle," which may cause some difficulty for the reader. Overall, the lexical resource does not sufficiently meet the criteria for higher bands due to inaccuracies and limited vocabulary.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and using a wider range of lexical items. Incorporating less common vocabulary and ensuring correct word forms would enhance clarity. Additionally, practicing the use of collocations and varying sentence structures can improve the overall fluency and precision of the language used.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex structures. However, these attempts are often inaccurate, leading to frequent grammatical errors that can cause confusion for the reader. For example, phrases like "the statistics of average distance in miles which per person travelled by total modes were increased" are awkwardly constructed and contain errors. Additionally, punctuation issues are present, such as missing commas and incorrect conjunction usage, which further affect clarity.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their range of grammatical structures by incorporating more complex sentences accurately. They should also work on reducing grammatical errors by practicing sentence construction and punctuation rules. Reading more high-quality writing can help in understanding how to effectively use a variety of sentence forms. Additionally, ensuring that the essay is coherent and logically structured will enhance overall clarity and communication.
Bài sửa mẫu
The table given illustrates the changes in modes of travel in the Netherlands from 2001 to 2006. Overall, the statistics show that the average distance traveled per person by all modes of transport increased from 2001 to 2006. In 2001, the figure for cars was the highest, while taxis had the lowest average distance. After five years, cars maintained their top position, while the lowest average distance traveled was taken over by bicycles.
In 2001, cars topped the list, with an average distance of 3,199 miles. The average distances for all other modes of transport were significantly lower than that of cars, arranged sequentially as follows: Other, Local Bus, Walking, Train, Local Distance Bus, Bicycle, and Taxi, all of which stood at around 13 to 45 miles.
In 2006, the average distance traveled per person by visitors showed that cars remained the most popular mode, reaching 4,806 miles after experiencing a significant upward trend over the five years. Other types of travel followed, with an average of 585 miles. Similarly, there were slight increases in the average distances traveled by Train, Local Distance Bus, and Taxi, which rose by 366, 124, and 42 miles, respectively. On the other hand, Walking and Bicycles saw a mild decrease to around 10 to 18 miles compared to previous figures, while the Local Bus experienced a significant drop to 155 miles compared to the initial statistics.
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