The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 to 2009 (in millions). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 to 2009 (in millions).
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates the number of foreign tourists who went to the United Kingdom with various purposes, from 1989 to 2009.

Overall, there is an increasing number of all lines which presents the foreigners' purposes. The common reason people came to the UK is for holiday, while meeting friends and relatives is the least common reason.

At the beginning, 5 million visitors came to the UK in 1989 for business, which was higher than meeting friends and relatives, who had 3.5 millions. In 1991, both of them had the same number of foreigners who came to the UK. Thereafter, they enhanced together and achieved the highest visitors in 2008.

On the other hand, 6.5 million people chose the United Kingdom for their holiday in 1989. Then, it quickly rose to 9 million visitors in 1996 and decreased until the end of 2003. From 2004 to 2009, the tourists number who came to the UK increased again, and in 2009, it reached 9 million.

To sum up, business, holidays, and meeting friends and relatives are the main reasons for visitors to go to the United Kingdom. Holidays are the most common reason among them.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the line graph illustrates" -> "the line graph depicts"
Explanation: "Depicts" is a more formal term often used in academic writing to describe visual representations, enhancing the academic tone of the essay.
"an increasing number of all lines which presents the foreigners’ purposes" -> "an upward trend across all categories representing the purposes of foreign visitors"
Explanation: "Upward trend" is a more precise term than "increasing number," and "categories" is clearer than "lines." Additionally, "foreign visitors" is more formal than "foreigners."
"the common reason people came to the UK is for holiday" -> "the predominant reason for visiting the UK is for holidays"
Explanation: "Predominant" conveys a stronger sense of frequency than "common," and "holidays" should be plural to reflect the general concept of vacationing.
"while meeting friends and relatives is the least common reason" -> "whereas visiting friends and relatives is the least frequent reason"
Explanation: "Whereas" is more formal than "while," and "visiting" is a clearer action than "meeting." "Least frequent" is a more precise term than "least common."
"5 million visitors came to the UK in 1989 for business, which was higher than meeting friends and relatives, who had 3.5 millions" -> "5 million visitors traveled to the UK for business in 1989, which was greater than the 3.5 million who visited for the purpose of meeting friends and relatives"
Explanation: "Traveled" is a more formal choice than "came," and "greater" is more precise than "higher." The structure is clarified by explicitly stating the purpose of the visits.
"In 1991, both of them had the same number of foreigners who came to the UK" -> "In 1991, both categories recorded an equal number of foreign visitors to the UK"
Explanation: "Categories" is more precise than "them," and "recorded" is a more formal verb choice than "had."
"Thereafter, they enhanced together and achieved the highest visitors in 2008" -> "Subsequently, both categories experienced growth, reaching their peak visitor numbers in 2008"
Explanation: "Subsequently" is more formal than "thereafter," and "experienced growth" is clearer than "enhanced together." "Peak visitor numbers" is a more precise phrase than "highest visitors."
"6.5 million people chose the United Kingdom for their holiday in 1989" -> "6.5 million individuals selected the United Kingdom as their holiday destination in 1989"
Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "people," and "selected" is a more precise verb than "chose." "Holiday destination" is clearer than "holiday."
"Then, it quickly rose to 9 million visitors in 1996 and decreased until the end of 2003" -> "Subsequently, this figure rose rapidly to 9 million visitors in 1996 before declining until the end of 2003"
Explanation: "Subsequently" maintains formality, and "this figure" clarifies the subject. "Declining" is a more formal term than "decreased."
"From 2004 to 2009, the tourists number who came to the UK increased again" -> "From 2004 to 2009, the number of tourists visiting the UK increased once more"
Explanation: "The number of tourists visiting" is clearer and more grammatically correct than "the tourists number who came."
"To sum up, business, holidays, and meeting friends and relatives are the main reasons for visitors to go to the United Kingdom" -> "In conclusion, business, holidays, and visiting friends and relatives represent the primary motivations for individuals traveling to the United Kingdom"
Explanation: "In conclusion" is more formal than "to sum up," and "represent the primary motivations" is more precise than "are the main reasons."
"Holidays are the most common reason among them" -> "Holidays constitute the most prevalent reason among these motivations"
Explanation: "Constitute" is a more formal verb choice, and "prevalent" is a more precise term than "common."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the graph, including the overall trend of increasing visitors and the most common reason for visiting the UK. However, the essay does not fully address all the requirements of the task. For example, it does not provide a clear comparison of the different purposes for visiting the UK.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed comparison of the different purposes for visiting the UK. For example, the essay could compare the number of visitors for each purpose in 1989 and 2009, or it could discuss the relative importance of each purpose over time. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language to describe the trends in the graph. For example, instead of saying "there is an increasing number of all lines," the essay could say "the number of visitors for all purposes increased over the period shown."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, demonstrating a clear overall progression. The introduction provides a general overview, and the body paragraphs present specific data points. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, leading to occasional awkwardness in transitions. While the essay does use paragraphing, it lacks some logical flow, especially in the comparison of data points. The central topics within paragraphs are present but could be more effectively developed.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally, ensuring that transitions between ideas are smooth and logical. Additionally, improving the logical flow of paragraphs and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear focus will strengthen the overall organization. More explicit comparisons and contrasts could also clarify relationships between different data points, enhancing the clarity of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task. The use of terms such as "foreign tourists," "various purposes," and "visitors" indicates an understanding of the topic. However, there are instances of inaccuracy in word choice and collocation, such as "the foreigners’ purposes" and "the tourists number," which detract from the overall clarity. Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "millions" instead of "million" in "3.5 millions." While these errors do not completely impede communication, they do affect the fluency and precision of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary with more precision and accuracy. This includes avoiding repetitive phrases and ensuring correct collocations. Additionally, focusing on spelling and grammatical accuracy will help improve overall clarity. Incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and varying sentence structures could also elevate the essay’s lexical quality.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 score. While there are some attempts at complex structures, the overall grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "the foreigners’ purposes" and "the tourists number who came to the UK," which can hinder clarity. However, these errors do not significantly impede communication, allowing the reader to understand the main points.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy and expanding the range of sentence structures. This can be done by practicing more complex sentence forms and ensuring that subject-verb agreement and article usage are correct. Additionally, proofreading for common errors and improving overall coherence and cohesion in the essay will help in achieving a more polished and error-free presentation.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line graph illustrates the number of foreign tourists who visited the United Kingdom for various purposes from 1989 to 2009.

Overall, there is an increasing trend across all categories representing the purposes of foreign visitors. The most common reason for visiting the UK is for holidays, while meeting friends and relatives is the least common reason.

In 1989, 5 million visitors came to the UK for business, which was higher than the 3.5 million who visited to meet friends and relatives. In 1991, both categories recorded the same number of visitors. Subsequently, both purposes increased together, reaching their peak in 2008.

In contrast, 6.5 million people chose the United Kingdom for holidays in 1989. This figure quickly rose to 9 million visitors by 1996, before experiencing a decline until the end of 2003. From 2004 to 2009, the number of tourists visiting the UK for holidays increased again, reaching 9 million in 2009.

To summarize, business, holidays, and meeting friends and relatives are the main reasons for visitors to travel to the United Kingdom. Holidays are the most prevalent reason among these categories.