The line graph illustrates the number of customer complaints in 2 years 2015 and 2014 in a particular country.

The given line chart shows the amount of complaint from customers in two years 2015 and 2014.

Overall, the number of complaints increased in both years. In 2015 the complaints were higher than in 2014.

Beginning with the customers' complaints in 2015. It had a rapid decline and then rising slightly to about 23 in May. While in 2014, it dropped sharply, then grow again to under 15, before falling to six in May.

From May to the end of the year, complaints in 2015 had a gradual decrease to 13 in September. On the other hand, in 2015, the customers' complaints climbed to 16 in June after that decreased in July and had a fuctuation to ten in September. From September, the complaints of the customers roared to just under 30 in the end. Although, the 2014's complaints jumped minimally in October, the dropped again to ten in November, before having a growth at the end of the timeframe.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the amount of complaint from customers" -> "the number of complaints from customers"
Explanation: "Amount" is typically used for uncountable nouns, while "number" is appropriate for countable nouns like "complaints."
"the complaints were higher than in 2014" -> "the number of complaints was higher than in 2014"
Explanation: "The complaints" is plural, but the phrase should refer to the singular concept of "the number of complaints" to maintain clarity and grammatical accuracy.
"Beginning with the customers’ complaints in 2015" -> "Beginning with customer complaints in 2015"
Explanation: "Customers’" implies possession, which is unnecessary here. "Customer complaints" is more concise and maintains formal tone.
"It had a rapid decline and then rising slightly" -> "There was a rapid decline followed by a slight increase"
Explanation: "It had" is vague; using "There was" provides clarity. "Rising slightly" should be changed to "a slight increase" for grammatical consistency and formality.
"While in 2014, it dropped sharply, then grow again" -> "In contrast, in 2014, it dropped sharply and then grew again"
Explanation: "While" suggests simultaneous actions, which is not the case here. "In contrast" clarifies the comparison. "Grow" should be changed to "grew" for correct verb tense.
"had a gradual decrease to 13 in September" -> "experienced a gradual decrease to 13 in September"
Explanation: "Had" is too informal; "experienced" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.
"the customers’ complaints climbed to 16 in June after that decreased in July" -> "customer complaints climbed to 16 in June, but then decreased in July"
Explanation: The phrase "after that" is informal and vague; "but then" provides a clearer contrast and maintains a formal tone.
"had a fuctuation to ten in September" -> "fluctuated around ten in September"
Explanation: "Had a fluctuation" is awkward; "fluctuated" is a more direct and precise verb choice. Additionally, "to" should be replaced with "around" to accurately describe the nature of fluctuation.
"From September, the complaints of the customers roared to just under 30 in the end" -> "From September, customer complaints surged to just under 30 by the end of the year"
Explanation: "Roared" is overly informal and conveys an emotional tone; "surged" is a more precise and appropriate term in this context. "In the end" is vague; "by the end of the year" adds clarity.
"the 2014’s complaints jumped minimally in October" -> "complaints in 2014 increased slightly in October"
Explanation: "The 2014’s complaints" is awkward; simply stating "complaints in 2014" is clearer. "Jumped minimally" is informal; "increased slightly" is more precise and formal.
"the dropped again to ten in November" -> "then dropped again to ten in November"
Explanation: "the" is unnecessary and grammatically incorrect; "then" provides a clearer transition.
"before having a growth at the end of the timeframe" -> "before experiencing growth at the end of the timeframe"
Explanation: "Having a growth" is awkward; "experiencing growth" is more natural and maintains an academic tone.

These changes enhance the precision, clarity, and formality of the essay, making it more suitable for an academic context.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay provides a general overview of the data, but it does not present a clear overview of the main trends. The essay also presents some key features, but it does not adequately cover them. For example, the essay states that the number of complaints increased in both years, but it does not provide any specific details about the increase. The essay also mentions that the complaints in 2015 were higher than in 2014, but it does not provide any specific data to support this claim.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. The essay could also be improved by providing more specific details about the key features of the data. For example, the essay could state that the number of complaints in 2015 increased by 10% compared to 2014. The essay could also provide specific data points to support its claims. For example, the essay could state that the number of complaints in May 2015 was 23, while the number of complaints in May 2014 was 6.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to describe the trends in customer complaints for both years, the structure is somewhat disjointed, and the ideas do not flow logically from one to the next. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, leading to confusion in the relationships between ideas. For instance, phrases like "On the other hand" are used, but the connections made are not always clear. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, with some sentences appearing to belong together but being separated, which detracts from the overall coherence.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on creating a clearer structure with logical progression. This can be achieved by clearly defining the main points in each paragraph and ensuring that each sentence builds on the previous one. The use of cohesive devices should be more varied and appropriate, avoiding redundancy and ensuring that they accurately reflect the relationships between ideas. Finally, the writer should ensure that paragraphs are logically organized, with each paragraph addressing a single main idea related to the overall topic.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the trends in customer complaints, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, such as "complaints," "increased," "decreased," and "grew." There are noticeable errors in word choice and spelling, such as "fuctuation" instead of "fluctuation," and phrases like "the customers’ complaints roared" which are awkward and inappropriate for the context. These issues may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the data presented.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items and synonyms to avoid repetition. Additionally, improving accuracy in word choice and spelling is essential. Using more sophisticated phrases and expressions to describe trends and changes in data would also contribute to a higher score. Practicing the use of collocations and varying sentence structures can help convey precise meanings more effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentence forms with some attempts at complex sentences. While there are some accurate structures, frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing are present, which can cause difficulty for the reader. For instance, phrases like "the amount of complaint" and "fuctuation to ten" indicate issues with word choice and spelling. Additionally, the use of punctuation is inconsistent, contributing to a lack of clarity in some sentences.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex forms. It is also important to proofread for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Practicing the use of conjunctions and relative clauses can help in constructing more sophisticated sentences. Furthermore, ensuring that punctuation is used correctly will improve the overall clarity of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The given line chart illustrates the number of customer complaints in two years, 2014 and 2015.

Overall, the number of complaints increased in both years, with the total complaints in 2015 being higher than in 2014.

Beginning with customer complaints in 2015, there was a rapid decline followed by a slight rise to about 23 in May. In contrast, in 2014, complaints dropped sharply, then grew again to just under 15, before falling to six in May.

From May to the end of the year, complaints in 2015 gradually decreased to 13 in September. On the other hand, in 2014, customer complaints climbed to 16 in June, after which they decreased in July and fluctuated to ten in September. From September onwards, customer complaints surged to just under 30 by the end of the year. Although complaints in 2014 increased minimally in October, they dropped again to ten in November before experiencing growth at the end of the timeframe.