In many countries, more people are choosing to live alone. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Do you think this has more positive or negative effects on society?

Nowadays, society is more developed, so people are affected by many things in life.There is a view that :” In many countries,more people are choosing to live alone" .That ‘s true,and this causes a lot of benefits and disadvantages in our life.
First of all, we will discuss the benefits. When living alone, we have more personal freedom. Moreover, the ability to be independent is also enhanced. Because, when no one is with us, We ourselves have the right to decide everything like food, spending, time,… without having to depend on anyone.Thanks to that, young people who live alone are often able to manage expenses properly and plan to balance their time better.On the other hand, living alone also brings disadvantages. We may encounter difficulties in many sudden situations without anyone to help. Or when we need someone to share, sympathize with, and provide emotional support, there is no one, so we feel lonely. Normally, this will often be seen in older people. When they live alone, they are often more difficult and susceptible to depression than people living with their own family.
Living alone has more negative effects than positive effects. Because the rate of mental illness in people is increasing. Most people have autism, depression due to life pressure and no one to share it with. , encourage them. And living alone is one of the causes of this situation. This negatively affects people and causes society to stagnate. Therefore, it is necessary to overcome this situation with some measures. like staying with family or friends who have many things in common, sharing with everyone when you encounter difficulties, etc.
In short, living alone has more disadvantages than benefits. However, we cannot deny that the benefits are very good for human life. Therefore, we should choose a suitable living environment to avoid negative influences in life.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."
"society is more developed" -> "society has become more developed"
Explanation: Adding "has become" clarifies the progression of development, enhancing the sentence’s temporal specificity and formality.
"There is a view that :”" -> "It is often argued that"
Explanation: "It is often argued that" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to introduce a common perspective, replacing the informal and incomplete "There is a view that :’".
"That ‘s true" -> "This is indeed true"
Explanation: "This is indeed true" is a more formal and precise expression, suitable for academic writing, compared to the contraction "That ‘s".
"and this causes a lot of benefits and disadvantages" -> "and this yields numerous benefits and drawbacks"
Explanation: "Yields numerous benefits and drawbacks" is more formal and precise, replacing the colloquial "a lot of benefits and disadvantages."
"we will discuss the benefits" -> "we will examine the benefits"
Explanation: "Examine" is a more formal verb than "discuss," fitting better in an academic context.
"we have more personal freedom" -> "we enjoy greater personal autonomy"
Explanation: "Enjoy greater personal autonomy" is a more precise and formal way to describe increased freedom, aligning better with academic style.
"Because, when no one is with us, We ourselves have the right to decide everything" -> "Since we are alone, we have the autonomy to make all decisions"
Explanation: "Since we are alone, we have the autonomy to make all decisions" is clearer and more formal, avoiding the awkward and informal construction "Because, when no one is with us, We ourselves have the right to decide everything."
"Thanks to that" -> "This enables"
Explanation: "This enables" is a more formal and concise way to express the result of a situation, replacing the colloquial "Thanks to that."
"often able to manage expenses properly" -> "are often able to manage their expenses effectively"
Explanation: Adding "their" and "effectively" enhances clarity and formality, making the sentence more precise and appropriate for academic writing.
"plan to balance their time better" -> "better manage their time"
Explanation: "Better manage their time" is a more direct and formal way to express the ability to organize time effectively.
"We may encounter difficulties" -> "We may face challenges"
Explanation: "Face challenges" is a more formal and academically appropriate term than "encounter difficulties."
"Normally, this will often be seen in older people" -> "This phenomenon is commonly observed among older individuals"
Explanation: "This phenomenon is commonly observed among older individuals" is more formal and precise, avoiding the redundancy and informality of "Normally, this will often be seen in older people."
"they are often more difficult and susceptible to depression" -> "they are often more susceptible to depression and difficulties"
Explanation: Reordering the phrase improves clarity and formality, making it more suitable for academic writing.
"the rate of mental illness in people is increasing" -> "the incidence of mental illness among individuals is rising"
Explanation: "The incidence of mental illness among individuals is rising" is a more precise and formal way to describe the increase in mental health issues.
"Most people have autism, depression due to life pressure and no one to share it with" -> "Many individuals experience depression and autism due to the pressures of life and lack of support"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the cause-and-effect relationship and uses more precise language suitable for an academic context.
"encourage them" -> "support them"
Explanation: "Support them" is a more direct and formal term than "encourage them" in this context, emphasizing the provision of help and assistance.
"like staying with family or friends who have many things in common" -> "such as living with family or friends who share common interests"
Explanation: "Such as living with family or friends who share common interests" is more specific and formal, improving the clarity and appropriateness for academic writing.
"sharing with everyone when you encounter difficulties" -> "sharing with others when faced with challenges"
Explanation: "Sharing with others when faced with challenges" is more formal and precise, replacing the informal "everyone" and "you."
"However, we cannot deny that the benefits are very good for human life" -> "However, it is undeniable that the benefits are highly beneficial to human life"
Explanation: "It is undeniable that the benefits are highly beneficial to human life" uses more formal language and avoids the colloquial "very good," enhancing the academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of living alone, as well as the writer’s opinion on whether this trend has more positive or negative effects on society. The introduction sets up the discussion, and the body paragraphs provide relevant points for both sides. However, the response could be more explicit in linking the advantages and disadvantages to the overall societal impact, which is a crucial part of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each point made about the advantages and disadvantages is directly connected to the societal implications. For example, when discussing loneliness as a disadvantage, the writer could elaborate on how this impacts community engagement or social cohesion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that living alone has more negative effects than positive ones. This stance is maintained throughout the essay, particularly in the concluding paragraph. However, the transition between discussing the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother to reinforce the position.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer could use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. Phrases like "While there are benefits, the drawbacks are more significant," can help reinforce the position and maintain a clear narrative throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the benefits (personal freedom, independence) and disadvantages (loneliness, mental health issues) of living alone. However, some points lack depth and specific examples that could strengthen the argument. For instance, the mention of mental illness could be supported with statistics or studies to provide a more compelling argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide specific examples or evidence for each point made. This could include citing studies on mental health related to living alone or personal anecdotes that illustrate the benefits of independence. Additionally, expanding on how these factors affect society as a whole would provide a more comprehensive argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages and disadvantages of living alone. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes slightly vague, particularly in the conclusion, where the mention of "choosing a suitable living environment" feels somewhat disconnected from the main argument about living alone.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all parts of the essay directly relate back to the main topic of living alone. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points discussed and reinforce the position taken, avoiding any introduction of new ideas that could distract from the central argument.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a coherent argument, it can be improved by providing more explicit connections between points and societal implications, enhancing the depth of ideas with examples, and ensuring a consistent focus on the topic throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The points are generally well-organized, with the discussion of benefits preceding the disadvantages. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing benefits to disadvantages feels abrupt, and the connection between the two could be more explicitly stated to enhance the logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link ideas, such as "In addition to the benefits," or "Conversely," when moving from advantages to disadvantages. Additionally, a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main points of discussion would help guide the reader through the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. However, the paragraphs could be more distinct in their focus. For example, the paragraph discussing disadvantages could be split into two: one focusing on emotional aspects and another on practical challenges. This would allow for a deeper exploration of each point.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting sentences directly relate to that idea. Consider starting each paragraph with a topic sentence that summarizes the main point, followed by supporting details. This structure will enhance clarity and coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Moreover," "On the other hand," and "In short," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the flow could be improved with additional linking words or phrases. For example, the use of "Because" at the beginning of a sentence can be replaced with "This is because" to create a smoother connection.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Furthermore," "Additionally," or "Consequently" to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, which can help maintain cohesion throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, focusing on enhancing logical transitions, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "personal freedom," "independent," "manage expenses," and "emotional support." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety. For instance, the phrase "living alone" is used multiple times without synonyms or alternative expressions, which could enhance the richness of the text.
- How to improve: To improve lexical variety, consider using synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "living alone," you could use "solitary living," "single-person households," or "individual living arrangements." Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "isolation," "autonomy," or "social connectivity," could elevate the essay’s overall quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage that could lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "the rate of mental illness in people is increasing" could be more specifically articulated as "the prevalence of mental health issues is rising among individuals living alone." Additionally, the term "autism" is mentioned without context, which may mislead readers regarding its relevance to the discussion on living alone.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, ensure that vocabulary is contextually appropriate and clearly conveys the intended meaning. When discussing mental health, it may be beneficial to specify the types of issues more relevant to solitary living, such as "anxiety" or "depression." This specificity will help clarify the argument and strengthen the overall clarity of the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling and punctuation errors, such as "that ‘s true" (should be "that’s true") and "like staying with family or friends who have many things in common, sharing with everyone when you encounter difficulties, etc." (which lacks proper punctuation and clarity). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling and punctuation accuracy, it is advisable to proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers or grammar checking software can help identify and correct errors. Additionally, reading the essay aloud can assist in catching mistakes that may be overlooked during silent reading. Regular practice with spelling and grammar exercises can also enhance overall writing accuracy.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, there are areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and enhancing spelling and punctuation, the essay could achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For instance, simple sentences like "First of all, we will discuss the benefits." are effectively used, but there is a noticeable reliance on similar structures throughout the essay. Complex sentences are present, such as "When living alone, we have more personal freedom," yet they are not consistently varied. The use of conjunctions and relative clauses is limited, which restricts the overall complexity of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences and different types of clauses. For example, instead of saying "When living alone, we have more personal freedom," the writer could use a compound-complex structure: "While living alone provides more personal freedom, it can also lead to feelings of isolation." Additionally, using a mix of declarative, interrogative, and conditional sentences can create a more engaging and sophisticated writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For instance, in the phrase "Because, when no one is with us, We ourselves have the right to decide everything," the comma after "Because" is unnecessary, and "We" should be lowercase. Additionally, there are issues with comma placement, such as in "the rate of mental illness in people is increasing. Most people have autism, depression due to life pressure and no one to share it with. , encourage them." The misplaced comma disrupts the flow of the sentence.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as incorrect capitalization and punctuation misuse. It may be helpful to review rules regarding comma usage, especially in compound and complex sentences. Practicing sentence combining exercises can also aid in developing a better understanding of how to structure sentences correctly. Furthermore, using grammar-checking tools could help identify and correct errors before finalizing the essay.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument and addresses the prompt, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical accuracy will significantly improve the overall quality and coherence of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Improved Essay:**

Currently, society has become more developed, and as a result, people are influenced by various aspects of life. It is often argued that in many countries, more individuals are choosing to live alone. This is indeed true, and this trend yields numerous benefits and drawbacks in our lives.

First of all, we will examine the benefits. When living alone, we enjoy greater personal autonomy. Moreover, the ability to be independent is also enhanced. Since we are alone, we have the autonomy to make all decisions regarding food, spending, and time without having to depend on anyone else. This enables young people who live alone to manage their expenses effectively and plan their time better.

On the other hand, living alone also brings disadvantages. We may face challenges in many unexpected situations without anyone to help us. When we need someone to share our thoughts with, empathize with, or provide emotional support, the absence of companionship can lead to feelings of loneliness. This phenomenon is commonly observed among older individuals. When they live alone, they are often more susceptible to depression and difficulties compared to those living with family.

In my opinion, living alone has more negative effects than positive effects. The incidence of mental illness among individuals is rising, with many experiencing depression and anxiety due to life pressures and a lack of support. Living alone is one of the contributing factors to this situation. This negatively affects individuals and can lead to stagnation in society. Therefore, it is necessary to address this issue with some measures, such as living with family or friends who share common interests and encouraging open communication when faced with challenges.

In short, living alone has more disadvantages than benefits. However, it is undeniable that the benefits are highly beneficial to human life. Therefore, we should choose a suitable living environment to mitigate the negative influences in our lives.