A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Values such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Values such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In recent times, it appears that individuals are evaluated more on their wealth and social standing rather than traditional values such as integrity, kindness, and trustworthiness. While material possessions and social status have gained significant importance in society, I believe that old-fashioned values still hold considerable relevance in many aspects of life. Therefore, I partially agree with the statement.

It is true that social status and material wealth have become prominent indicators of a person's worth in today's society. With the rise of consumerism and the influence of social media, success is often equated with visible symbols of wealth, such as luxury cars, expensive homes, and designer clothing. For instance, celebrities and influencers are frequently admired for their lavish lifestyles, which can sometimes overshadow their personal qualities or moral values. In this context, it is easy to see how material possessions and social status have come to be seen as primary measures of a person's worth.

However, this focus on material wealth does not mean that traditional values like honour, kindness, and trust are entirely disregarded. Despite the emphasis on wealth, these values continue to play a crucial role in personal and professional relationships. For example, trust is essential in building lasting relationships, both in personal connections and in the workplace. In business, companies with strong ethical standards and a reputation for trustworthiness often attract loyal customers and partners. This shows that while social status and material wealth may be more visible, old-fashioned values remain vital in many aspects of life.

Moreover, there is a growing awareness of the limitations of materialism, with more people recognizing the importance of mental health, community, and ethical living. As people increasingly value work-life balance, personal well-being, and sustainable living, traditional values are regaining their importance. This shift indicates that society is beginning to reassess what truly defines a person's worth, moving beyond mere material success.

In conclusion, while it is undeniable that social status and material wealth play a significant role in how people are judged today, traditional values such as honour, kindness, and trust remain crucial for personal and societal well-being. Therefore, I believe that both material success and old-fashioned values are important in determining a person’s worth in contemporary society.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In recent times" -> "In recent years"
Explanation: "In recent years" is a more precise temporal reference, aligning better with academic style by specifying the time period more clearly.
"individuals are evaluated more on their wealth and social standing" -> "individuals are increasingly evaluated on their wealth and social standing"
Explanation: Adding "increasingly" clarifies the trend, indicating a progression over time, which is more specific and academically appropriate.
"old-fashioned values" -> "traditional values"
Explanation: "Traditional values" is a more formal and precise term that avoids the colloquial connotation of "old-fashioned."
"I believe that" -> "it is argued that"
Explanation: "It is argued that" shifts the statement to a more formal, impersonal tone, which is preferred in academic writing.
"social status and material wealth have gained significant importance" -> "social status and material wealth have become increasingly significant"
Explanation: "Have become increasingly significant" enhances the precision and flow of the sentence by emphasizing the gradual increase in importance.
"old-fashioned values still hold considerable relevance" -> "traditional values still retain considerable relevance"
Explanation: "Retain" is a more formal synonym for "hold," and "traditional values" is preferred over "old-fashioned values" for a more academic tone.
"visible symbols of wealth" -> "visible manifestations of wealth"
Explanation: "Manifestations" is a more formal and precise term than "symbols," which is somewhat vague and colloquial in this context.
"lavish lifestyles" -> "luxurious lifestyles"
Explanation: "Luxurious" is a more precise and formal adjective than "lavish," which can be seen as slightly informal.
"personal qualities or moral values" -> "personal qualities and moral values"
Explanation: Adding "and" clarifies that both are being considered equally important, improving the sentence structure and clarity.
"entirely disregarded" -> "completely disregarded"
Explanation: "Completely" is a more formal synonym for "entirely," aligning better with academic style.
"trust is essential" -> "trust is crucial"
Explanation: "Crucial" is a stronger, more formal adjective than "essential," fitting better in an academic context.
"companies with strong ethical standards" -> "companies with robust ethical standards"
Explanation: "Robust" is a more precise and formal term than "strong," enhancing the academic tone.
"a growing awareness of the limitations of materialism" -> "an increasing recognition of the limitations of materialism"
Explanation: "Increasing recognition" is a more formal and precise phrase than "growing awareness," which is slightly less formal.
"more people recognizing" -> "more individuals recognizing"
Explanation: "Individuals" is a more formal term than "people" in academic writing, especially when referring to a general trend.
"traditional values are regaining their importance" -> "traditional values are regaining prominence"
Explanation: "Prominence" is a more precise term than "importance," which is somewhat vague in this context.

These changes refine the vocabulary to better suit an academic essay, enhancing precision, formality, and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by acknowledging the importance of both material possessions and traditional values. The writer clearly states a partial agreement with the assertion that social status and material wealth are predominant in assessing a person’s worth. Each part of the question is addressed, with examples illustrating the rise of consumerism and the continuing relevance of traditional values. The use of specific instances, such as the influence of celebrities and the role of trust in business, supports the argument well.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the writer could delve deeper into the implications of their argument. For instance, discussing how the balance between materialism and traditional values might differ across cultures or socioeconomic groups could provide a more nuanced perspective. Additionally, explicitly stating the extent to which they believe traditional values hold importance compared to material possessions would clarify their position.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, indicating a partial agreement with the statement. The introduction sets the tone, and the conclusion reiterates this stance effectively. The writer consistently supports their viewpoint with relevant examples and logical reasoning, which helps to maintain clarity.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could use more definitive language when discussing their agreement or disagreement. Phrases like "I partially agree" could be elaborated upon with a brief explanation of what that partial agreement entails. This would help to solidify their stance and guide the reader more clearly through their argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The writer extends their ideas by providing examples and discussing the implications of materialism and traditional values. For instance, the mention of trust in business adds depth to the argument about the relevance of traditional values.
- How to improve: To further develop and support their ideas, the writer could incorporate more varied examples or statistics that illustrate the trends they discuss. Additionally, integrating counterarguments could enrich the essay by acknowledging opposing views and then refuting them, thereby strengthening their own position.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay stays focused on the topic throughout, consistently relating back to the central theme of how a person’s worth is judged in contemporary society. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument without straying into unrelated areas.
- How to improve: While the essay remains on topic, the writer should ensure that each point made directly ties back to the question. For example, when discussing the growing awareness of mental health and community, it would be beneficial to explicitly connect this back to how these factors influence perceptions of worth, thereby reinforcing the relevance of the discussion to the prompt.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. By enhancing the depth of analysis, refining the clarity of the position, and providing varied examples, the writer could elevate their score even further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear and logical organization of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage by stating the main argument and providing a clear stance. Each paragraph follows a logical progression, beginning with the acknowledgment of the importance of social status and material wealth, followed by a counterargument that highlights the relevance of traditional values. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points while reiterating the author’s position. For example, the transition from discussing the prominence of material wealth to the importance of traditional values is smooth and well-structured.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit signposting language to guide the reader through the argument. Phrases such as "On the one hand" and "Conversely" can help clarify the relationship between contrasting ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea can further improve clarity.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the writer’s viewpoint, the second discusses the prominence of material wealth, the third emphasizes the importance of traditional values, and the fourth highlights a societal shift towards valuing these traditional values. This structure aids in readability and comprehension.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph has a clear concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument. This will reinforce the connection between the ideas presented and the overall thesis. Additionally, varying the length and complexity of sentences within paragraphs can enhance engagement and maintain the reader’s interest.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as conjunctions ("however," "while"), referencing ("these values," "this shift"), and substitution ("old-fashioned values"). These devices help to connect ideas and maintain the flow of the argument. For instance, the use of "for example" introduces specific instances that support the claims made, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more advanced linking phrases and transitions. For example, using phrases like "In addition," "Furthermore," or "Conversely" can help to create a more nuanced connection between ideas. Additionally, varying the types of cohesive devices used—such as incorporating more lexical cohesion through synonyms and related terms—can enhance the richness of the text and avoid repetition.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and coherent, demonstrating a strong command of coherence and cohesion principles. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can elevate the clarity and sophistication of their argument even further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, particularly in discussing concepts related to social status and traditional values. Phrases such as "consumerism," "lavish lifestyles," and "ethical standards" showcase the writer’s ability to use topic-specific vocabulary effectively. However, while the vocabulary is varied, there are instances where more sophisticated synonyms could enhance the essay’s depth. For example, instead of repeating "material possessions," the writer could use alternatives like "tangible assets" or "physical wealth."
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should actively seek synonyms and explore more nuanced terms related to the essay’s themes. Reading widely and incorporating new vocabulary into practice essays can help in this regard.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with terms like "integrity," "trustworthiness," and "community" being well-placed and contextually appropriate. However, there are moments where the precision could be improved. For instance, the phrase "old-fashioned values" might be better expressed as "timeless values" to convey a more positive connotation. Additionally, the term "success" is used frequently; varying this with terms like "achievement" or "prosperity" could add precision and depth.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on the context of their arguments and choose words that best reflect their intended meaning. Practicing paraphrasing sentences and using a thesaurus can help in selecting more precise vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words like "integrity," "trustworthiness," and "consumerism" are spelled correctly, indicating a strong command of English spelling conventions. This accuracy contributes positively to the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain and further enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Utilizing spelling and grammar checking tools can also be beneficial, as well as engaging in regular writing practice to reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a band score of 7 due to its effective use of vocabulary, though there is room for improvement in range and precision. By expanding vocabulary, refining word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is prevalent, such as in the opening statement: "In recent times, it appears that individuals are evaluated more on their wealth and social standing rather than traditional values such as integrity, kindness, and trustworthiness." This sentence effectively combines multiple clauses, showcasing the writer’s ability to convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences throughout, which contributes to a fluid reading experience. However, there are moments where the sentence structures could be further diversified. For example, the phrase "this focus on material wealth does not mean that traditional values like honour, kindness, and trust are entirely disregarded" could be restructured for variation.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases, such as participial phrases or conditional clauses. For instance, instead of starting sentences with "It is true that…" or "However…", try beginning with a dependent clause or an adverbial phrase to create more dynamic openings. Additionally, integrating more rhetorical questions or exclamatory sentences could add emphasis and interest.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For example, the phrase "which can sometimes overshadow their personal qualities or moral values" is correctly punctuated, and the use of commas is generally effective throughout the essay. However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of commas before conjunctions in compound sentences. For instance, in the sentence "As people increasingly value work-life balance, personal well-being, and sustainable living, traditional values are regaining their importance," the comma usage is appropriate. Yet, in other instances, such as "While material possessions and social status have gained significant importance in society, I believe that old-fashioned values still hold considerable relevance in many aspects of life," the comma before "I believe" could be reconsidered for clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on consistent comma usage, especially in complex sentences. Reviewing rules regarding the use of commas in compound sentences and before conjunctions can help refine this aspect. Additionally, practicing the identification of independent and dependent clauses can aid in constructing more complex sentences with correct punctuation. Regularly revising grammar rules and engaging in exercises focused on punctuation can also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By continuing to diversify sentence structures and refining punctuation practices, the writer can further enhance their writing proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent times, it appears that individuals are evaluated more on their wealth and social standing rather than on traditional values such as integrity, kindness, and trustworthiness. While material possessions and social status have gained significant importance in society, I believe that old-fashioned values still hold considerable relevance in many aspects of life. Therefore, I partially agree with the statement.

It is true that social status and material wealth have become prominent indicators of a person’s worth in today’s society. With the rise of consumerism and the influence of social media, success is often equated with visible manifestations of wealth, such as luxury cars, expensive homes, and designer clothing. For instance, celebrities and influencers are frequently admired for their lavish lifestyles, which can sometimes overshadow their personal qualities or moral values. In this context, it is easy to see how material possessions and social status have come to be seen as primary measures of a person’s worth.

However, this focus on material wealth does not mean that traditional values like honour, kindness, and trust are entirely disregarded. Despite the emphasis on wealth, these values continue to play a crucial role in personal and professional relationships. For example, trust is essential in building lasting relationships, both in personal connections and in the workplace. In business, companies with robust ethical standards and a reputation for trustworthiness often attract loyal customers and partners. This shows that while social status and material wealth may be more visible, old-fashioned values remain vital in many aspects of life.

Moreover, there is a growing awareness of the limitations of materialism, with more individuals recognizing the importance of mental health, community, and ethical living. As people increasingly value work-life balance, personal well-being, and sustainable living, traditional values are regaining prominence. This shift indicates that society is beginning to reassess what truly defines a person’s worth, moving beyond mere material success.