After being punished, many criminals continue to commit crimes. Why do some people commit crimes even after having been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

Recently, many criminals still commit crimes even after they are being punished, and this causes heated debate among people. There are several reasons for this negative behavior, and many viable solutions can be suggested to handle this problem.
There are many explanations why criminals still reoffend, and the sanctions are not harsh enough is one of the main reasons. Some criminal actions such as shoplifting, it just require a small fine to indemnify, and not send to jail. For that reason, the criminals will just look down on law and justice, then they will feel no guilt and remorse, thus continue on their way to commit crime. For example, car accidents are usually happening because of alcohol, as the driver is drunk while driving, thus leads to unfortunate accidents, and they are just required to be indemnified and might be sent to jail for just two or three years. Therefore, they just define law as simple and continue to do it again. Another reason why criminals' actions still happen after being punished is the ignorance from society. Each criminal's actions will be recorded in people’s profile throughout their entire life. For that reason, many companies, especially jobs related to politics, will not totally accept someone with a criminal profile.
Nevertheless, numerous solutions will be posted to tackle this issues. Firstly, courts and the government should look for changing the level of sanctions, especially after prisoners still commit crime. For instance, shoplifting needs to be considered to send to jail, and all murderers should be sentenced to death. Therefore, this can alarming prisoners, as to reduce the tendency to commit crime again. Another viable solution that courts and the government should look up to is designing moral lectures in the prison. In each month, it is vital to invite politicians or influencers to come share about social problems and how people overcome them. Therefore, it can help enhance knowledge for prisoners, and they can acknowledge that their criminal action is inhuman, cruel and serious, thus guaranteeing the lower probability of committing crime again.
In conclusion, the problem of criminals still continue to perform bad behaviors is rising, and this causes a lot of controversial opinions among people. Although there are numerous explanations for people to commit crime again, many valid solutions will be suggested, thus to guarantee reducing crime rates.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Recently, many criminals still commit crimes even after they are being punished" -> "Despite being punished, many criminals continue to commit crimes"
Explanation: The revised phrase eliminates the awkward and informal construction "are being punished" and uses a more direct and formal structure, enhancing the academic tone.
"heated debate among people" -> "intense debate among the public"
Explanation: Replacing "people" with "the public" adds specificity and formality, aligning better with academic language.
"viable solutions can be suggested" -> "feasible solutions can be proposed"
Explanation: "Feasible" is more precise in an academic context than "viable," and "proposed" is more formal than "suggested."
"the sanctions are not harsh enough is one of the main reasons" -> "the sanctions are insufficient is a primary reason"
Explanation: "Insufficient" is more precise and formal than "not harsh enough," and "a primary reason" is more academically appropriate than "one of the main reasons."
"it just require a small fine to indemnify" -> "it merely requires a small fine to compensate"
Explanation: "Merely" is more formal than "just," and "compensate" is more precise than "indemnify" in this context.
"not send to jail" -> "not incarcerated"
Explanation: "Incarcerated" is a more formal and precise term than "sent to jail."
"look down on law and justice" -> "disregard the law and justice"
Explanation: "Disregard" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "look down on," which is colloquial.
"define law as simple" -> "view the law as trivial"
Explanation: "View the law as trivial" is more formal and precise than "define law as simple," which is vague and informal.
"ignorance from society" -> "societal ignorance"
Explanation: "Societal ignorance" is a more formal and concise way to express the idea.
"numerous solutions will be posted to tackle this issues" -> "several solutions will be proposed to address this issue"
Explanation: "Several" is more precise than "numerous," and "proposed" is more formal than "posted," and "address" is more appropriate than "tackle" in this context.
"look for changing the level of sanctions" -> "seek to modify the level of sanctions"
Explanation: "Seek to modify" is more formal and precise than "look for changing."
"all murderers should be sentenced to death" -> "all convicted murderers should face capital punishment"
Explanation: "Face capital punishment" is a more formal and precise term than "be sentenced to death."
"alarming prisoners" -> "deter prisoners"
Explanation: "Deter" is a more precise and formal term than "alarming," which is colloquial and imprecise in this context.
"designing moral lectures in the prison" -> "conducting moral education programs within prisons"
Explanation: "Conducting moral education programs" is more formal and specific than "designing moral lectures," and "within prisons" is more precise than "in the prison."
"acknowledge that their criminal action is inhuman, cruel and serious" -> "recognize the inhumanity, cruelty, and severity of their criminal actions"
Explanation: "Recognize the inhumanity, cruelty, and severity" is more formal and academically appropriate than "acknowledge that their criminal action is inhuman, cruel and serious."

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both parts of the question. It discusses reasons why criminals reoffend after punishment (sanctions not harsh enough, societal stigma), and proposes measures to tackle the issue (harsher sanctions, moral education in prisons).
- How to improve: To improve, ensure that each reason or solution is thoroughly elaborated upon with specific examples and perhaps explore additional perspectives such as rehabilitation programs or community integration measures.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that criminals reoffend due to inadequate punishments and societal ignorance, and suggests stricter sanctions and moral education as solutions.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, consistently tie each paragraph back to the main argument and avoid repetition. Consider counterarguments briefly to strengthen the overall argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented but lack development in some areas. For instance, while the essay mentions sanctions not being harsh enough, it could provide more detailed examples or statistics to support this claim.
- How to improve: Extend ideas by providing more concrete evidence and elaboration. Utilize real-world examples or case studies to strengthen the argument’s credibility.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but occasionally veers into vague or unrelated statements, such as mentioning alcohol-related accidents without connecting them directly to the main argument about crime recidivism.
- How to improve: Focus on directly addressing the prompt throughout the essay. Avoid tangents and ensure each paragraph contributes directly to answering the essay question.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and proposes solutions, there is room for improvement in terms of clarity, development of ideas, and staying strictly on topic. By enhancing these aspects with more specific examples, clearer connections between ideas, and maintaining focus on the prompt, the essay could achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to organize information logically by addressing reasons why criminals reoffend in the first body paragraph and proposing solutions in the second. However, there are issues with coherence due to abrupt transitions and unclear development of ideas. For instance, the shift from discussing inadequate sanctions to societal ignorance lacks a clear link.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and transitions smoothly into the next. Use topic sentences to clearly introduce each paragraph’s purpose and develop ideas coherently within each paragraph.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to structure its content. However, paragraphing is inconsistent. The first body paragraph is overly long, covering multiple ideas without clear segmentation. The second body paragraph is more structured but lacks depth in the development of solutions.
- How to improve: Divide the first body paragraph into smaller, focused paragraphs each addressing a specific aspect of why criminals reoffend. Similarly, ensure the second body paragraph is more balanced in discussing different solutions with clear topic sentences for each idea.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as "for instance" and "therefore" to connect ideas within sentences. However, there is limited use of more sophisticated devices that could improve coherence, such as cohesive ties between paragraphs or using synonyms to avoid repetition.
- How to improve: Introduce a wider variety of cohesive devices such as pronouns (it, they), conjunctions (however, consequently), and synonyms to maintain cohesion and coherence throughout the essay. Ensure these devices are used effectively to link ideas both within and between paragraphs.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates some ability to organize ideas and use paragraphs, there is room for improvement in coherence and cohesion. Strengthening these aspects will help elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, covering various aspects of the topic with some degree of precision. For instance, it uses terms like "sanctions," "reoffend," "indemnify," "profile," "viable," and "controversial opinions." These words are generally appropriate in context but lack depth and sophistication in usage.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, strive for more nuanced vocabulary choices. Instead of basic terms like "problem" or "solution," consider synonyms like "issue," "challenge," or "remedy." Replace overused phrases such as "negative behavior" with alternatives like "criminal recidivism" or "antisocial conduct." Expand vocabulary related to social issues and criminal justice to convey a deeper understanding of the topic.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage throughout the essay. For example, "it just require a small fine to indemnify" could be more precise by using "compensate" or "pay restitution." Additionally, the phrase "will not totally accept someone with a criminal profile" lacks precision; "employ" or "hire" would be clearer choices.
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended meaning. Use precise terms that convey specific ideas without ambiguity. Avoid generalizations or colloquial expressions that may weaken the clarity of your arguments.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally satisfactory, with no major errors observed. However, there are minor issues such as "reoffend" instead of "re-offend," and occasional grammar inconsistencies (e.g., "each criminal’s actions will be recorded in people’s profile").
- How to improve: To improve spelling and grammar consistency, consider proofreading essays carefully before submission. Utilize spell-check tools and practice writing regularly to reinforce correct spelling patterns and grammatical structures.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary with acceptable spelling accuracy, there is room for improvement in precision and sophistication. To enhance your lexical resource score, focus on expanding your vocabulary with nuanced terms, using precise language to convey ideas clearly, and maintaining consistent spelling and grammar throughout your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a moderate range of sentence structures. Simple and compound sentences dominate, with occasional complex structures attempted (e.g., "Each criminal’s actions will be recorded…"). However, there is limited use of more sophisticated structures such as conditional sentences or passive voice constructions. While the essay generally maintains coherence, the repetitive use of simple structures can hinder fluency and impact.
- How to improve: To enhance variety, incorporate more complex sentence structures like conditional sentences ("If punishments were more severe, criminals might reconsider their actions"), passive voice ("It is recommended that stricter measures be implemented"), or rhetorical questions ("Can moral lectures truly deter future criminal behavior?"). This will elevate the essay’s sophistication and fluency, contributing to a higher band score.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates adequate control over grammar and punctuation, though errors are noticeable throughout. For instance, inconsistent subject-verb agreement ("courts and the government should look for changing" should be "look to change") and awkward phrasing ("car accidents are usually happening because of alcohol") affect clarity. Punctuation issues include missing commas before coordinating conjunctions in complex sentences ("as the driver is drunk while driving, thus leads to unfortunate accidents, and they are just required…").
- How to improve: Focus on consistent subject-verb agreement and clearer phrasing to avoid ambiguity ("car accidents often occur due to alcohol consumption"). Work on comma usage for clearer separation of ideas in complex sentences ("as the driver is drunk while driving, thus leading to unfortunate accidents, and they are just required…"). Proofreading for such errors will enhance overall grammatical accuracy and readability.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonably good command of grammar and structure, improvements in sentence variety and grammatical accuracy would elevate it to a higher band score. Incorporating more complex sentence structures and refining grammatical precision through thorough proofreading are key areas for enhancement.

Bài sửa mẫu

Recently, many criminals continue to commit crimes even after being punished, sparking intense public debate. There are several reasons for this behavior, and feasible solutions can be proposed to address this issue.

One primary reason for recidivism is that the sanctions imposed are insufficient. For example, minor offenses like shoplifting often result in only a small fine, which criminals see as a trivial consequence rather than a deterrent. This leads them to disregard the law and justice, feeling no guilt or remorse, and thus they continue their criminal activities. Moreover, societal ignorance plays a role as well, as a criminal record can limit job opportunities, reinforcing a sense of exclusion and potentially driving further criminal behavior.

To tackle this issue, several solutions can be considered. Firstly, there should be a reassessment of the severity of sanctions, particularly for repeat offenders. For instance, stricter penalties such as imprisonment for offenses like shoplifting could deter criminals from reoffending. Additionally, conducting moral education programs within prisons could help criminals recognize the severity and inhumanity of their actions. By inviting speakers to discuss societal issues and personal responsibility, prisoners can gain insight and develop empathy, reducing the likelihood of future criminal behavior.

In conclusion, while the issue of recidivism among criminals is complex and contentious, implementing more stringent penalties and educational initiatives can significantly contribute to reducing crime rates.