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air pollution. What are the causes and solutions to this problems?

air pollution. What are the causes and solutions to this problems?

Nowadays, air contamination is considered a huge issue in the world. There are variety of possible reasons for this, but steps can definitely be taken to solve this problem.

To begin with, air pollution mostly come from human activities day-bye-day. Firstly, vehicles’ emission has contributed greatly to polluting the atmosphere. It is smoke from the burning of fossil fuels, release pollutants such as carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides, and particulate matters into the atmosphere, contributing to air pollution. For example, the air quality in Ha Noi has gone down because of exhaust fumes from vehicles. Secondly, industrial activities exhaust toxic fumes is another cause of pollution air. Factories emit untreated or partial-treated gases into the air, therefore, the air is getting worse and worse everyday.

Nevertheless, there are also numerous solutions to these problems. Improving the public commuter system plays an important role in the reduction of private transportation. For instance, people can also use bicycles for short distances and public transports for long distances instead of using individual means consequently the emission of carbon dioxide will also be reduced. Furthermore, stricter environmental laws and regulations can be enforced on the industry to reduce the toxic fumes emitted into the air. Besides, government and local authorities should raise people awareness through campaigns, so they can realize the necessary of joining hand, in order to save the world we are living.

In conclusion, the world will continue to struggle with global warming problems, or disasters, unless government and people take part in protecting the environment.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Nowadays, air contamination is considered a huge issue in the world." -> "Currently, air pollution is widely acknowledged as a significant global concern."
    Explanation: The suggested revision replaces the informal "Nowadays" with the more formal "Currently" and rephrases the sentence to enhance its formality and clarity.

  2. "There are variety of possible reasons for this," -> "There are a multitude of potential causes for this issue,"
    Explanation: Replacing "variety" with "multitude" and "possible reasons" with "potential causes" elevates the language’s formality while maintaining clarity.

  3. "steps can definitely be taken to solve this problem." -> "Effective measures can be implemented to address this issue."
    Explanation: Substituting "steps" with "measures" and replacing "can definitely be taken" with "can be implemented" maintains formality and precision in the statement.

  4. "air pollution mostly come from human activities day-bye-day." -> "Air pollution predominantly results from daily human activities."
    Explanation: The revised sentence eliminates the informal phrase "day-bye-day" and uses a more formal structure for clarity and academic appropriateness.

  5. "Firstly, vehicles’ emission has contributed greatly to polluting the atmosphere." -> "Firstly, vehicular emissions have significantly contributed to atmospheric pollution."
    Explanation: This correction replaces informal phrasing with more formal language and improves clarity by specifying "vehicular emissions."

  6. "It is smoke from the burning of fossil fuels, release pollutants such as carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides, and particulate matters into the atmosphere, contributing to air pollution." -> "These emissions result from the combustion of fossil fuels, releasing pollutants like carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides, and particulate matter into the atmosphere, thereby contributing to air pollution."
    Explanation: The suggested revision makes the sentence more concise and formal by rephrasing and structuring it for clarity.

  7. "For example, the air quality in Ha Noi has gone down because of exhaust fumes from vehicles." -> "For instance, air quality in Ha Noi has deteriorated due to vehicle exhaust emissions."
    Explanation: The revised sentence uses "For instance" instead of "For example" and replaces informal language with a more precise and formal expression.

  8. "Secondly, industrial activities exhaust toxic fumes is another cause of pollution air." -> "Secondly, industrial activities releasing toxic fumes are another source of air pollution."
    Explanation: The suggested change corrects the grammatical error in the original sentence and provides a more formal and accurate description.

  9. "Nevertheless, there are also numerous solutions to these problems." -> "However, there exist multiple solutions to address these issues."
    Explanation: The revised sentence maintains formality while replacing "nevertheless" with "however" for improved clarity.

  10. "Improving the public commuter system plays an important role in the reduction of private transportation." -> "Enhancing the public transportation system plays a pivotal role in reducing reliance on private vehicles."
    Explanation: This revision uses more formal vocabulary and clarifies the relationship between public transportation and private vehicles.

  11. "people can also use bicycles for short distances and public transports for long distances instead of using individual means consequently the emission of carbon dioxide will also be reduced." -> "Individuals can opt for bicycles for short distances and public transportation for longer journeys, consequently reducing carbon dioxide emissions."
    Explanation: The improved sentence enhances clarity, eliminates informal phrasing, and maintains formality.

  12. "stricter environmental laws and regulations can be enforced on the industry to reduce the toxic fumes emitted into the air." -> "Stringent environmental laws and regulations can be enforced in the industrial sector to mitigate the release of toxic emissions into the atmosphere."
    Explanation: This revision uses more formal and precise terminology while emphasizing the role of environmental regulations.

  13. "government and local authorities should raise people awareness through campaigns, so they can realize the necessary of joining hand, in order to save the world we are living." -> "Governments and local authorities should raise public awareness through campaigns, fostering a collective understanding of the importance of cooperation to protect our environment."
    Explanation: The revised sentence replaces informal language with formal terminology and improves the clarity and flow of the sentence.

  14. "In conclusion, the world will continue to struggle with global warming problems, or disasters, unless government and people take part in protecting the environment." -> "In conclusion, global environmental challenges, including global warming, will persist unless governments and individuals actively engage in environmental protection efforts."
    Explanation: The suggested revision enhances formality, replaces informal terms like "problems" and "disasters" with precise language, and clarifies the statement’s meaning.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It discusses the causes of air pollution (vehicles’ emissions and industrial activities) and provides solutions (improving public transportation, enforcing environmental laws, and raising awareness).
    • How to improve: There is no need for improvement in this aspect as the essay fully covers all elements of the question.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout by acknowledging the problem of air pollution caused by human activities and proposing solutions that involve collective efforts.
    • How to improve: The clarity of the position is well-maintained. No specific improvement is needed in this area.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about the causes of air pollution (vehicles and industrial emissions) and extends them with specific examples (mentioning the air quality in Ha Noi and the emission of carbon dioxide). However, it could benefit from more detailed elaboration on how stricter environmental laws and regulations will be enforced and how raising awareness through campaigns will be effective.
    • How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide further elaboration on the implementation of the proposed solutions, such as discussing potential challenges and benefits in more detail.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively stays on topic by discussing the causes and solutions to air pollution. There are no significant deviations from the topic.
    • How to improve: No specific improvement is required in this area as the essay maintains a clear focus on the given topic.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively addresses the prompt’s requirements. It provides a comprehensive discussion of both the causes and solutions to air pollution, maintaining a consistent position throughout. To further improve, the essay could benefit from more detailed elaboration on the implementation of the proposed solutions.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a somewhat logical organization, but there is room for improvement. It begins with an introduction and then discusses causes and solutions in separate paragraphs, which is a good start. However, within these paragraphs, the flow of ideas can be inconsistent. For example, the transition from discussing vehicle emissions to industrial activities could be smoother.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases and clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph. Ensure that the ideas within each paragraph connect logically, and avoid abrupt shifts between topics.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their structure and effectiveness can be improved. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main point or idea, but some paragraphs in this essay combine multiple ideas. For instance, the paragraph discussing vehicle emissions also mentions industrial activities.
    • How to improve: Break down paragraphs into smaller, more focused units. Each paragraph should introduce and develop a single main point, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument and maintain coherence.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases (e.g., "To begin with," "Furthermore," "In conclusion"). However, there is limited variety in their use, and some could be more effectively placed to improve the overall flow.
    • How to improve: To enhance cohesion, diversify the use of cohesive devices. Include a wider range of transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the essay. Ensure that these devices connect sentences and paragraphs more smoothly for a more cohesive structure.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a solid level of coherence and cohesion, which justifies a band score of 7. To improve further, focus on clearer organization, more effective paragraphing, and a broader range of cohesive devices.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderately wide range of vocabulary. It uses words and phrases like "contamination," "atmosphere," "pollutants," "toxic fumes," "carbon dioxide," and "global warming," which are appropriate in the context of air pollution. However, there is room for improvement in the variety of vocabulary as some terms are repeated, like "emission" and "air."

    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider using synonyms or alternative phrases where possible. For example, instead of repeatedly using "emission," you can use terms like "discharge," "release," or "exhaust." This will not only prevent repetition but also add depth to your vocabulary.

  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits both precise and imprecise vocabulary usage. For instance, it precisely mentions "carbon monoxide," "nitrogen oxides," and "particulate matters" when discussing vehicle emissions. However, it uses imprecise language when stating, "improving the public commuter system plays an important role in the reduction of private transportation," as the term "reduction of private transportation" is somewhat vague.

    • How to improve: Ensure that your vocabulary choices are contextually accurate and specific. Instead of the vague phrase mentioned above, you could say, "enhancing public transportation infrastructure significantly reduces the reliance on private vehicles." This provides a clearer and more precise description.

  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "contamination" instead of "contaminants," "day-bye-day" instead of "day by day," "Factories" with a capital "F," and "necessary of joining hand" instead of "necessity of joining hands."

    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, proofread your essays carefully or use spell-checking tools. Pay close attention to common mistakes like missing spaces, incorrect word forms, or capitalization errors. Regular practice in identifying and correcting these issues can also help enhance spelling accuracy.

Overall, while your essay demonstrates a decent range of vocabulary and occasional precision, there is room for improvement in vocabulary variety and spelling accuracy. Focus on expanding your vocabulary, using precise terms, and paying close attention to spelling to enhance your lexical resource in IELTS Task 2 essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. It includes basic sentence structures like "air pollution mostly come from human activities day-bye-day," but also incorporates more complex sentences like "Improving the public commuter system plays an important role in the reduction of private transportation." However, the variety of structures could be further improved to enhance the overall flow and engagement of the essay.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating a wider range of sentence types, such as compound-complex sentences, conditional sentences, and rhetorical questions. This will make your essay more dynamic and engaging, contributing to a more compelling argument.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair level of grammatical accuracy but contains some noticeable errors. For instance, "pollution air" should be "air pollution," "day-bye-day" should be "day by day," and "the necessary of joining hand" should be "the necessity of joining hands." Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, proofread your essay carefully for common errors like subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and article usage. Pay close attention to sentence structure and punctuation rules, ensuring proper comma placement in complex sentences. Review your work multiple times to catch and correct these issues.

Overall, your essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation, but there is room for improvement in both sentence structure variety and grammatical accuracy. By refining these aspects, you can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your writing, potentially raising your band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, air pollution is widely acknowledged as a significant global concern. There are a multitude of potential causes for this issue, but effective measures can be implemented to address this problem.

Air pollution predominantly results from daily human activities. Firstly, vehicular emissions have significantly contributed to atmospheric pollution. These emissions result from the combustion of fossil fuels, releasing pollutants like carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides, and particulate matter into the atmosphere, thereby contributing to air pollution. For instance, air quality in Ha Noi has deteriorated due to vehicle exhaust emissions.

Secondly, industrial activities releasing toxic fumes are another source of air pollution. However, there exist multiple solutions to address these issues. Enhancing the public transportation system plays a pivotal role in reducing reliance on private vehicles. Individuals can opt for bicycles for short distances and public transportation for longer journeys, consequently reducing carbon dioxide emissions. Stringent environmental laws and regulations can be enforced in the industrial sector to mitigate the release of toxic emissions into the atmosphere. Governments and local authorities should raise public awareness through campaigns, fostering a collective understanding of the importance of cooperation to protect our environment.

In conclusion, global environmental challenges, including global warming, will persist unless governments and individuals actively engage in environmental protection efforts.

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