An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shop online?

The trend of online shopping has become more and more popular over the recent years due to the increase of demand for supplies and the limit of free time of people in this developing era. There are both advantages and also the downsides of online shopping. This essay will discuss both aspects.

Several advantages can be listed for buying supplies on websites or applications instead of going to supermarkets or the suppliers. For instance, it would bring more benefits in terms of financial. Nowadays, a physical shop has to pay many extra fees to be able to run on its own such as rent or electricity, leading to a rise in the price of the products. On the other hand, those fees are not included in online shopping since the seller can work from their own home, which is why the majority of people would want to shop online to save more money. Furthermore, this method of shopping helps reduce time spent purchasing since there is no need to travel from one place to another to get necessary goods.

Despite this, numerous people still do not trust online shopping. This is due to the existence of the downsides of this favorable method of shopping. As the world is developing, the quantity of ways that leads to scamming are increasing significantly. Some methods of scamming are too hard to predict that more and more people are being tricked everyday. This is one of the largest concerns of shopping online. Other than that, the consumers are not able to touch and feel the products that they are planning to buy, this raises the rate of negative feedback and returns because the buyers are not getting what they are expecting.

In conclusion, online shopping can have both positive and negative aspects. This depends on each individual and their needs to consider if this method is the suitable way of purchasing goods.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"more and more popular" -> "increasingly popular"
Explanation: "Increasingly" is a more precise and formal adverb that conveys the gradual nature of the trend without the redundancy of "more and more."
"the increase of demand for supplies and the limit of free time" -> "the growing demand for supplies and the limited free time"
Explanation: "Growing" is a more precise term than "increase," and "limited" is more appropriate than "limit" to describe the scarcity of free time, enhancing the formal tone.
"There are both advantages and also the downsides" -> "There are both advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: "Also the downsides" is redundant and informal; "disadvantages" is the correct term and is more formal.
"it would bring more benefits in terms of financial" -> "it offers financial benefits"
Explanation: "Offers financial benefits" is a more direct and formal way to express the advantages, avoiding the awkward construction of "bring more benefits in terms of."
"a physical shop has to pay many extra fees" -> "physical shops incur additional fees"
Explanation: "Incur" is a more precise and formal verb than "have to pay," and "shops" is plural to match the generalization.
"leading to a rise in the price of the products" -> "resulting in higher product prices"
Explanation: "Resulting in higher product prices" is more concise and formal, improving the academic tone.
"the majority of people would want to shop online to save more money" -> "many consumers opt for online shopping to save money"
Explanation: "Opt for" is a more formal expression than "would want," and "consumers" is a more precise term than "people."
"helps reduce time spent purchasing" -> "reduces the time spent purchasing"
Explanation: "Reduces" is a more direct and formal verb than "helps reduce," aligning better with academic style.
"the quantity of ways that leads to scamming" -> "the number of methods used for scamming"
Explanation: "Number of methods" is more precise and formal than "quantity of ways," and "used for" is clearer than "that leads to."
"too hard to predict" -> "difficult to predict"
Explanation: "Difficult" is a more formal and academically appropriate term than "too hard."
"more and more people are being tricked everyday" -> "increasing numbers of people are being tricked daily"
Explanation: "Increasing numbers" is more formal and precise than "more and more," and "daily" is more formal than "everyday."
"the consumers are not able to touch and feel the products" -> "consumers cannot physically inspect the products"
Explanation: "Cannot physically inspect" is more precise and formal than "are not able to touch and feel," which is somewhat colloquial.
"raises the rate of negative feedback and returns" -> "increases the incidence of negative feedback and returns"
Explanation: "Increases the incidence" is a more formal and precise expression than "raises the rate," fitting better in an academic context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping, as requested by the prompt. The advantages are discussed in terms of financial benefits and time-saving aspects, while the disadvantages focus on trust issues and the inability to physically inspect products. However, the discussion could be more balanced, as the advantages are elaborated more than the disadvantages. For example, while the essay mentions financial benefits, it could provide more specific examples or statistics to strengthen this point.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay should ensure that the advantages and disadvantages are presented in a more balanced manner. Including specific examples or case studies for both sides would enhance the depth of the analysis. Additionally, discussing the implications of these advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies could provide a more rounded response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges both sides of the argument regarding online shopping. However, the conclusion could be more definitive. Phrases like "this depends on each individual" suggest a lack of a strong personal stance on whether online shopping is ultimately beneficial or detrimental.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer and more consistent position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion. For instance, they could indicate whether they believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa, providing a more decisive ending to the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping, such as cost savings and trust issues. However, some points lack sufficient development. For example, the mention of scams could be expanded with examples of common scams or statistics on how they affect consumer behavior.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with more detail and examples. This could include discussing specific types of products that are commonly bought online versus in-store, or citing studies that show consumer preferences or trends in online shopping. Additionally, using linking phrases to connect ideas would enhance the flow and coherence of the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping as required. However, the introduction could be more focused. The phrase "the limit of free time of people in this developing era" is somewhat vague and could be more directly linked to the topic of online shopping.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that all introductory statements are directly related to the topic. They could refine the introduction to more clearly outline how the increase in online shopping is a response to modern lifestyle changes, thereby setting a more relevant context for the discussion that follows.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, enhancing the depth of analysis, clarity of position, and focus on the prompt will help elevate the score further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the intention to discuss both advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are presented first, followed by the disadvantages, which is a logical progression. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of online shopping, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument. For example, the first body paragraph effectively discusses the financial benefits of online shopping, while the second body paragraph addresses the trust issues and potential scams associated with it.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, the essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each paragraph. For instance, starting the advantages paragraph with a sentence like "There are several key advantages to online shopping that appeal to consumers" would provide a stronger framework. Additionally, linking the advantages and disadvantages more explicitly could improve coherence. For example, after discussing the advantages, a transitional phrase such as "However, despite these benefits, there are significant drawbacks that consumers must consider" could better connect the two sections.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph is focused on a single theme: the first on advantages and the second on disadvantages. This clear separation allows the reader to digest the information without confusion. However, the conclusion, while summarizing the discussion, could be more distinct in reinforcing the main points made in the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the conclusion could be expanded to restate the key advantages and disadvantages discussed, reinforcing the overall argument. For example, summarizing the financial benefits and the trust issues in a concise manner would provide a stronger closure. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence would enhance the effectiveness of the structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "on the other hand," "for instance," and "despite this," which help to connect ideas and indicate contrasts. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to include more varied transitions and linking phrases that enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate additional phrases such as "in addition," "furthermore," or "conversely" to provide smoother transitions between points. For instance, when transitioning from advantages to disadvantages, phrases like "In contrast to the benefits, there are also significant drawbacks" could be used. Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas can help avoid repetition and create a more cohesive narrative.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of coherence and cohesion, with a clear structure and logical organization. By refining topic sentences, enhancing paragraph conclusions, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can further elevate the clarity and effectiveness of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "trend," "financial," "scamming," and "negative feedback." However, the vocabulary used is often repetitive and lacks sophistication. For example, the phrase "more and more popular" could be replaced with "increasingly popular" to enhance variety. Additionally, phrases like "necessary goods" could be expanded to "essential items" for more nuanced expression.
- How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "online shopping," alternatives like "e-commerce" or "digital shopping" could be used. Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises can help diversify word choice.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the limit of free time of people" is somewhat awkward and could be more precisely articulated as "the constraints on people’s free time." Additionally, the term "favorable method of shopping" is vague; it would be clearer to specify "convenient method of shopping."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on clarity and specificity in word choice. Practicing paraphrasing and seeking feedback on word usage can help identify areas where vocabulary may be too broad or unclear. Furthermore, using contextually appropriate terms will improve the overall clarity of the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits correct spelling, with no glaring errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as "everyday" which should be "every day" in the context used. This subtle distinction can affect the professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in proofreading practices, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can help prevent future errors. Regular practice with writing exercises focused on spelling can also be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay achieves a Band 6 for Lexical Resource, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of conditional structures like "if this method is the suitable way of purchasing goods" shows an attempt to incorporate more complex grammatical forms. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures, such as varied subordinate clauses or inversion. Phrases like "this method of shopping helps reduce time spent purchasing" could be rephrased for more variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice using different sentence openings and integrating more complex clauses. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "this" or "there," the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses, such as "Given the convenience of online shopping, many consumers prefer it" or "While online shopping offers numerous benefits, it also presents certain risks."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains good grammatical accuracy, with only a few errors. For example, the phrase "the limit of free time of people" could be more clearly expressed as "the limited free time people have." Additionally, the sentence "the quantity of ways that leads to scamming are increasing significantly" should be corrected to "the quantity of ways that lead to scamming is increasing significantly" to ensure subject-verb agreement. Punctuation is mostly accurate, though there are some instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "which is why" in the sentence discussing the benefits of online shopping.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and clarity in expression. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding clauses and introductory phrases, will help in creating clearer and more effective sentences. Reading more complex texts can also provide insight into varied sentence structures and correct usage.

In summary, while the essay achieves a Band 7 for Grammatical Range and Accuracy, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and ensuring grammatical precision. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their overall writing proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

The trend of online shopping has become increasingly popular in recent years due to the growing demand for supplies and the limited free time of people in this developing era. There are both advantages and disadvantages to online shopping. This essay will discuss both aspects.

Several advantages can be identified for buying supplies on websites or applications instead of going to supermarkets or physical stores. For instance, it offers financial benefits. Nowadays, physical shops incur additional fees to operate, such as rent and electricity, which leads to higher product prices. In contrast, these fees are often not a factor in online shopping since sellers can work from their own homes. This is why many consumers opt for online shopping to save money. Furthermore, this method of shopping reduces the time spent purchasing, as there is no need to travel from one place to another to obtain necessary goods.

Despite this, numerous people still do not trust online shopping. This skepticism arises from the disadvantages associated with this increasingly popular method of shopping. As the world develops, the number of methods used for scamming is increasing significantly. Some scamming techniques are difficult to predict, resulting in increasing numbers of people being tricked daily. This is one of the largest concerns regarding online shopping. Additionally, consumers cannot physically inspect the products they are planning to buy, which increases the incidence of negative feedback and returns, as buyers may not receive what they expected.

In conclusion, online shopping can have both positive and negative aspects. It ultimately depends on each individual and their needs to determine if this method is the suitable way of purchasing goods.