Analising the map
Analising the map
The maps depict changes in Huntingdon, illustrating its current state and projected future modifications. Overall, extensive changes are planned for Huntingdon, including the addition of an industrial estate, new road systems, and improved accessibility, all aimed at modernizing the town and supporting future growth.
One significant development is the introduction of a new industrial estate in the northwest, which will replace the existing airfield located in the northern section. Additionally, a railway station remains unchanged, situated in the southwest of the map near Brampton Road; however, the road network is set to undergo dramatic adjustments. A new bypass will be constructed to the north, directly connecting the industrial estate to the main road and bypassing the town center entirely.
In the future map, a new roundabout will be installed on the southern side, providing access to an expanded built-up area that will accommodate more homes and shops. The town center itself will retain its circular shape, but the road infrastructure surrounding it will be significantly enhanced with wider roads to facilitate increased traffic flow. Notably, a new bridge or railway infrastructure is visible, providing a connection over the railway line and linking the industrial area to other parts of the town.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The maps depict changes" -> "The maps illustrate changes"
Explanation: "Illustrate" is a more precise term in academic contexts, emphasizing the visual representation of information, which is more suitable for describing maps than "depict." -
"extensive changes are planned" -> "substantial changes are planned"
Explanation: "Substantial" is a more formal and precise term than "extensive," which can be vague and less specific in academic writing. -
"aimed at modernizing the town and supporting future growth" -> "intended to modernize the town and facilitate future growth"
Explanation: "Intended to" is more formal and precise than "aimed at," and "facilitate" is a more academically appropriate verb than "support" in this context, suggesting a more active role in enabling growth. -
"a new industrial estate in the northwest" -> "the establishment of an industrial estate in the northwest"
Explanation: "The establishment of" is a more formal and precise phrase, emphasizing the act of creating the industrial estate rather than just its presence. -
"replacing the existing airfield located in the northern section" -> "replacing the existing airfield situated in the northern sector"
Explanation: "Situated" is more formal and precise than "located," and "sector" is a more specific term than "section" in a geographic context. -
"a railway station remains unchanged" -> "the railway station remains unchanged"
Explanation: Adding "the" clarifies that the station is already established, which is more specific and formal. -
"the road network is set to undergo dramatic adjustments" -> "the road network is slated for significant modifications"
Explanation: "Slated for" is a more formal expression than "set to," and "significant modifications" is a more precise term than "dramatic adjustments," which can be seen as overly emotional for academic writing. -
"a new roundabout will be installed" -> "a new roundabout will be constructed"
Explanation: "Constructed" is a more specific and formal term than "installed," which is more commonly used in casual contexts. -
"expanded built-up area" -> "expanded urban area"
Explanation: "Urban area" is a more precise term than "built-up area," which can be vague and less specific in an academic context. -
"facilitate increased traffic flow" -> "enhance traffic flow"
Explanation: "Enhance" is a more precise and formal term than "facilitate," which can be less specific in this context. -
"a new bridge or railway infrastructure" -> "the construction of a new bridge or railway infrastructure"
Explanation: "The construction of" specifies the action of building, which is more precise and formal than the vague "a new bridge or railway infrastructure."
These changes refine the language to better suit an academic style, enhancing precision, formality, and clarity.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7
Explanation: The essay provides a clear overview of the main changes in the maps, highlighting the key features of the industrial estate, road network, and built-up area. The essay also presents a clear comparison between the current and future states of Huntingdon.
How to improve: The essay could be more fully extended by providing more specific details about the changes, such as the size of the industrial estate, the exact location of the new roundabout, and the type of bridge or railway infrastructure. The essay could also benefit from a more concise and focused writing style.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating clear progression throughout. Each paragraph presents a distinct aspect of the changes in Huntingdon, with a clear central topic. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, although there are instances where the connection between ideas could be more fluid. For example, the transition between discussing the industrial estate and the road network could be smoother. Overall, the essay meets the criteria for Band 7 by effectively presenting the information while maintaining coherence.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer could enhance the use of cohesive devices to ensure smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, incorporating more varied sentence structures and linking phrases could improve the overall flow of the essay. Ensuring that each paragraph not only presents a clear topic but also connects seamlessly to the next would strengthen coherence and cohesion further.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for flexibility and precision in conveying the changes depicted in the maps. The use of terms such as "industrial estate," "bypass," and "expanded built-up area" indicates an awareness of less common lexical items relevant to the topic. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "dramatic adjustments," which could be more precisely articulated. The spelling and word formation are generally correct, but minor errors may occur. Overall, the vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there is room for improvement in precision and sophistication.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer could incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary, particularly in describing the changes. Utilizing synonyms or more technical terms related to urban planning could demonstrate a higher level of lexical control. Additionally, ensuring that all word choices are precise and contextually appropriate would help to minimize inaccuracies and enhance clarity.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few minor errors that do not significantly impede communication. For instance, the use of complex sentences, such as "One significant development is the introduction of a new industrial estate in the northwest, which will replace the existing airfield located in the northern section," illustrates a solid grasp of grammatical range. However, there are occasional lapses in accuracy, such as the phrase "the road infrastructure surrounding it will be significantly enhanced with wider roads to facilitate increased traffic flow," which could be more clearly articulated.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on increasing the accuracy of complex structures and reducing minor errors. This can be achieved by proofreading for grammatical mistakes and ensuring that all sentence forms are used correctly. Additionally, incorporating a wider range of sentence types and structures could enhance the overall grammatical range.
Bài sửa mẫu
The maps depict changes in Huntingdon, illustrating its current state and projected future modifications. Overall, extensive changes are planned for Huntingdon, including the addition of an industrial estate, new road systems, and improved accessibility, all aimed at modernizing the town and supporting future growth.
One significant development is the introduction of a new industrial estate in the northwest, which will replace the existing airfield located in the northern section. Additionally, a railway station remains unchanged, situated in the southwest of the map near Brampton Road; however, the road network is set to undergo dramatic adjustments. A new bypass will be constructed to the north, directly connecting the industrial estate to the main road and bypassing the town center entirely.
In the future map, a new roundabout will be installed on the southern side, providing access to an expanded built-up area that will accommodate additional homes and shops. The town center itself will retain its circular shape, but the road infrastructure surrounding it will be significantly enhanced with wider roads to facilitate increased traffic flow. Notably, a new bridge or railway infrastructure is visible, providing a connection over the railway line and linking the industrial area to other parts of the town.
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