Are you concerned about noise pollution? Write a paragraph (100-120 words) about its causes, effects and solutions for this pollution problem. You should base on the suggestions below: – What is noise pollution? – How common is it now? – What causes it? – What are its effects? – What should we do to solve it?
Are you concerned about noise pollution? Write a paragraph (100-120 words) about its causes, effects and solutions for this pollution problem.
You should base on the suggestions below:
– What is noise pollution?
– How common is it now?
– What causes it?
– What are its effects?
– What should we do to solve it?
Over the years, people have achieved significant accomplishments in all areas, particularly in conjunction with rapid economic growth. However, this process has created substantial pressures on the environment. Pollution has become increasingly alarming and one issue that requires immediate action is noise pollution.
Sound pollution is considered excessively loud and unwanted that is beyond human tolerance and has negative impacts on physical and mental well-being. This phenomenon is often prevalent in metropolises or urban stations where there are many constructions, transportation or trading activities. For instance, residents living near shopping centers, pedestrian streets or the airport will have to contend with loud music and the noise generated by frequent traffic such as motorbikes, cars and airplane. This is even worse for the communities settling or working in areas with ongoing construction.
On the one hand, exposure to loud noise can cause high blood pressure, heart disease, sleep disturbances, hearing loss, stress and other problems like irritability, impairments in memory or attention level. On the other hand, it affects both animal and plant species. A recent study stated that noise pollution causes poor quality of crops in a pleasant atmosphere. For animal species, unwanted noise can reduce reproductive capacity.
Due to these negative impacts, it is essential to implement solutions. Firstly, new construction projects in bustling areas should consider using acoustic insulation for walls, doors, windows and ceilings instead of conventional materials. This is true for dweller nearby construction sites. Government may consider imposing regulations to restrict the usage of play loudspeakers in crowed areas. Especially, individuals who work in noisy environments should be provided with ear plugs for hearing protection.
To maintain sustainable development, protecting the environment needs to be taken seriously by every individual.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"people have achieved significant accomplishments" -> "people have achieved significant accomplishments"
Explanation: The phrase "significant accomplishments" is redundant. Removing the second "accomplishments" corrects the grammatical error and maintains the formal tone. -
"created substantial pressures" -> "imposed substantial pressures"
Explanation: "Imposed" is more precise and appropriate in this context, suggesting a direct impact or influence on the environment, which is more specific and formal than "created." -
"Pollution has become increasingly alarming" -> "Pollution has become increasingly alarming"
Explanation: The word "alarming" is correctly used here, as it is the correct form to describe something that causes alarm or concern. -
"sound pollution is considered excessively loud and unwanted" -> "sound pollution is deemed excessively loud and undesirable"
Explanation: "Deemed" is more formal than "considered," and "undesirable" is a more precise term than "unwanted" in an academic context. -
"beyond human tolerance" -> "beyond human tolerance levels"
Explanation: Adding "levels" clarifies that the phrase refers to specific thresholds, enhancing the precision of the statement. -
"metropolises or urban stations" -> "metropolises or urban areas"
Explanation: "Urban stations" is an incorrect term; "urban areas" is the correct term to describe cities or densely populated regions. -
"there are many constructions, transportation or trading activities" -> "there are numerous constructions, transportation, and trading activities"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more formal than "many," and the addition of commas improves readability and clarity. -
"residents living near shopping centers, pedestrian streets or the airport" -> "residents living near shopping centers, pedestrian streets, and airports"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "streets" and changing "or" to "and" corrects the grammatical structure, and "airports" should be plural to match the plural "centers." -
"This is even worse for the communities settling or working in areas with ongoing construction" -> "This is particularly challenging for communities residing or working in areas with ongoing construction"
Explanation: "Particularly challenging" is more precise and formal than "even worse," and "residing" is more appropriate than "settling," which is less formal. -
"exposure to loud noise can cause high blood pressure, heart disease, sleep disturbances, hearing loss, stress and other problems like irritability, impairments in memory or attention level" -> "exposure to loud noise can cause a range of health issues, including high blood pressure, heart disease, sleep disturbances, hearing loss, stress, and other problems such as irritability, impairments in memory or attention levels"
Explanation: "A range of health issues" is more precise and formal than "other problems like," and "such as" is used correctly to introduce examples within a list. -
"unwanted noise can reduce reproductive capacity" -> "unwanted noise can reduce reproductive capacity"
Explanation: The phrase should not be split; "reduce reproductive capacity" is a complete phrase that should not be separated. -
"Government may consider imposing regulations" -> "Governments may consider imposing regulations"
Explanation: "Governments" is plural to reflect the general application of regulations, and "may" is more appropriate than "must" for a suggestion rather than a directive. -
"play loudspeakers in crowed areas" -> "loudspeakers in crowded areas"
Explanation: "Crowed" is a typo and should be corrected to "crowded," which is the correct adjective form. -
"individuals who work in noisy environments should be provided with ear plugs for hearing protection" -> "individuals working in noisy environments should be provided with earplugs for hearing protection"
Explanation: "Working" is more grammatically correct than "who work," and "earplugs" is the correct term for the device used for hearing protection. -
"protecting the environment needs to be taken seriously by every individual" -> "environmental protection requires serious consideration from every individual"
Explanation: "Environmental protection" is a more formal and precise term than "protecting the environment," and "requires serious consideration" is more formal and appropriate than "needs to be taken seriously."
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by defining noise pollution, discussing its prevalence, identifying causes, outlining effects, and suggesting solutions. The definition is clear, stating that noise pollution is "excessively loud and unwanted" and highlighting its negative impacts. The prevalence is illustrated through examples of urban environments, while the causes are linked to construction, transportation, and commercial activities. The effects are well-articulated, covering both human health and ecological impacts. Solutions are practical, including the use of acoustic insulation and regulations on noise levels.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could provide more specific statistics or examples regarding the prevalence of noise pollution, such as mentioning specific cities or studies that quantify the issue. Additionally, a more structured approach to the solutions section could improve clarity, perhaps by categorizing solutions into governmental, community, and individual actions.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position on the importance of addressing noise pollution, emphasizing the need for immediate action. The writer consistently supports this position throughout the essay, linking the causes and effects back to the overarching concern of noise pollution. However, the transition between discussing effects and solutions could be smoother to reinforce the urgency of the proposed actions.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the negative effects of noise pollution to the necessity of the solutions proposed. For example, stating "Given these serious effects, it is crucial to implement the following solutions" would help to reinforce the argument.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of noise pollution. The essay effectively extends ideas by providing examples, such as the impact of noise on health and the environment. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration; for instance, the mention of "poor quality of crops" could be expanded with more detail on how noise pollution specifically affects agricultural productivity.
- How to improve: To improve the depth of the essay, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations or examples for each point made. For instance, elaborating on how acoustic insulation works or providing statistics on health impacts would add weight to the arguments presented.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of noise pollution throughout, with each section contributing to the overall discussion. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the writer successfully integrates all aspects of the prompt into a cohesive response.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that each point directly ties back to the main argument about the importance of addressing noise pollution could enhance coherence. For example, reiterating the significance of each solution in the context of the problems discussed would strengthen the overall focus.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the issues surrounding noise pollution. With some refinements in detail and structure, it could achieve an even higher band score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents information in a generally logical order, beginning with an introduction to noise pollution, followed by its causes, effects, and potential solutions. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing the causes of noise pollution to its effects could be more clearly delineated with transitional phrases that guide the reader through the argument. The structure is mostly effective, but some points feel slightly disjointed, particularly the transition from the effects of noise pollution to the proposed solutions.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that summarize the main idea. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Consequently," can help connect ideas more fluidly. For instance, after discussing the effects, a sentence like "Given these detrimental effects, it is crucial to explore potential solutions" would provide a clearer transition to the solutions section.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, which is a positive aspect. However, the paragraphs could be better structured. The first paragraph serves as an introduction, but the subsequent paragraphs do not clearly delineate between causes, effects, and solutions, leading to some confusion. For instance, the second paragraph mixes causes and effects without a clear separation, which can hinder readability and coherence.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Consider creating distinct paragraphs for causes, effects, and solutions. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that indicates the focus of that section. For example, start a new paragraph with "The primary causes of noise pollution include…" and follow with relevant details.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," which help to contrast different points. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the use of pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned ideas is inconsistent, which can lead to ambiguity.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Additionally," "Moreover," or "As a result" to connect ideas within and between sentences. Additionally, ensure that pronouns are used clearly, and consider repeating key terms for clarity. For example, instead of saying "this phenomenon," specify "noise pollution" to maintain clarity for the reader.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant information, improving the organization, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices will enhance coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of noise pollution. Terms such as "sound pollution," "metropolises," "construction," and "acoustic insulation" are effectively used. However, the vocabulary could be more varied; for example, the repeated use of "noise" and "pollution" could be substituted with synonyms or related terms to enhance lexical diversity. Phrases like "negative impacts" and "high blood pressure" are somewhat repetitive and could benefit from more varied expressions.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider incorporating synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeating "noise," you could use "sound," "cacophony," or "din." Additionally, explore using more descriptive adjectives or adverbs to convey the severity of noise pollution, such as "overbearing noise" or "constant disturbances."
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes relevant vocabulary, some phrases lack precision. For instance, "sound pollution is considered excessively loud and unwanted that is beyond human tolerance" could be more clearly articulated. The phrase "poor quality of crops in a pleasant atmosphere" is confusing, as it implies a contradiction between noise pollution and a pleasant atmosphere.
- How to improve: Aim for clarity and precision in vocabulary usage. Instead of saying "beyond human tolerance," consider rephrasing to "exceeds acceptable noise levels." Clarify the impact on crops by stating, "noise pollution adversely affects crop quality, particularly in urban areas." This will help convey your ideas more effectively.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "crowed" instead of "crowded" and "dweller" instead of "dwellers." These errors can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and may confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a short break and then review the text for spelling errors. Additionally, using spell-check tools or apps can help identify mistakes before submission. Regular practice with vocabulary lists can also reinforce correct spelling.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, enhancing vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy will contribute to achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "this process has created substantial pressures on the environment," which effectively conveys a cause-and-effect relationship. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of declarative and interrogative sentences, enhancing engagement. However, there are instances where the sentence structure could be more varied; for example, the repeated use of "this is" and "it is" at the beginning of sentences can lead to monotony.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "this is" or "it is," you could use participial phrases or adverbial clauses. For instance, "Given the alarming rise in urban noise levels, it is crucial to address noise pollution effectively." This not only adds variety but also strengthens the connection between ideas.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with most sentences correctly structured and punctuated. However, there are notable errors that detract from the overall quality. For example, in the phrase "Sound pollution is considered excessively loud and unwanted that is beyond human tolerance," the use of "that" is incorrect; it should be "which" to introduce a non-defining relative clause. Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as missing commas in compound sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences. For instance, "the noise generated by frequent traffic such as motorbikes, cars and airplane" should include a comma before "and" in a list for clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review the rules regarding relative clauses and punctuation in compound sentences. Practicing sentence combining exercises can help in understanding how to correctly use conjunctions and relative pronouns. Additionally, proofreading the essay for common punctuation errors, such as comma placement in lists and before conjunctions, can significantly improve clarity and readability.
By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy and punctuation, the essay can achieve a higher band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.
Bài sửa mẫu
Over the years, people have achieved significant accomplishments in various fields, particularly alongside rapid economic growth. However, this progress has imposed substantial pressures on the environment. Pollution has become increasingly alarming, and one issue that requires immediate action is noise pollution. Sound pollution is deemed excessively loud and undesirable, often exceeding human tolerance levels, and it has negative impacts on both physical and mental well-being. This phenomenon is particularly prevalent in metropolises or urban areas, where there are numerous constructions, transportation, and trading activities. For instance, residents living near shopping centers, pedestrian streets, and airports must contend with loud music and the noise generated by frequent traffic, such as motorbikes, cars, and airplanes. This situation is particularly challenging for communities residing or working in areas with ongoing construction.
On one hand, exposure to loud noise can cause a range of health issues, including high blood pressure, heart disease, sleep disturbances, hearing loss, stress, and other problems such as irritability and impairments in memory or attention levels. On the other hand, it also affects both animal and plant species. A recent study stated that noise pollution leads to poor quality of crops in a pleasant atmosphere. For animal species, unwanted noise can reduce reproductive capacity.
Due to these negative impacts, it is essential to implement solutions. Firstly, new construction projects in bustling areas should consider using acoustic insulation for walls, doors, windows, and ceilings instead of conventional materials, particularly for residents living near construction sites. Governments may consider imposing regulations to restrict the use of loudspeakers in crowded areas. Additionally, individuals working in noisy environments should be provided with earplugs for hearing protection.
To maintain sustainable development, environmental protection requires serious consideration from every individual.