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As part of education, students should spend a period of time studying and living in a different country to learn the language and culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As part of education, students should spend a period of time studying and living in a different country to learn the language and culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that students should have a period of time living in a foreign country to acquire knowledge about the language and culture of that country. This essay agrees that students should do that because they can benefit greatly.

First, studying a language in an environment where it is spoken can help students learn more effectively. The learning process can be speeded up by immersing in a foreign language environment as it forces learners to use the language daily which enhances the ability to use it. In addition, living with native speakers allows students to pick up language features which are not taught in school. While studying in classes provides students with the knowledge, the lack of environments and motivation to practice makes studying abroad worthwhile.

Second, cultural understanding is best achieved by participating in the life of that culture. Exposure to the daily life of locals fosters a deep understanding of the culture, which is not likely to be gained from other methods such as media or books. Being in that country can also help students have a non-biased perspective as students can understand the reasons for differences between that culture and theirs. For example, putting coal all over the body is hard to understand, but students can learn that it is an effective way to keep mosquitos away if they live in a country without other methods.

In conclusion, temporary living in another nation should be a part of education as it is a good way for students to enhance their language ability and gain a well-rounded understanding of the culture.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "It is argued that" -> "There is an argument that"
    Explanation: "It is argued that" is somewhat passive. Using "There is an argument that" adds clarity and directness to the statement while maintaining a formal tone.

  2. "living in a foreign country" -> "residing in a foreign nation"
    Explanation: "Living" is a common term, but "residing" is slightly more formal and precise in an academic context. "Foreign country" can be replaced with "foreign nation" to add variety and sophistication.

  3. "acquire knowledge about" -> "gain insight into"
    Explanation: "Acquire knowledge about" is straightforward but could be enriched by using "gain insight into," which conveys a deeper understanding rather than just knowledge acquisition.

  4. "benefit greatly" -> "derive significant advantages"
    Explanation: "Benefit greatly" is somewhat vague. "Derive significant advantages" is more precise and formal, aligning better with academic writing standards.

  5. "can help students learn more effectively" -> "can enhance students’ learning efficacy"
    Explanation: "Learn more effectively" is somewhat generic. "Enhance students’ learning efficacy" conveys a more nuanced improvement in learning outcomes.

  6. "speeded up" -> "accelerated"
    Explanation: "Speeded up" is colloquial; "accelerated" is a more formal and precise alternative, fitting for academic writing.

  7. "immersing in a foreign language environment" -> "immersing oneself in a foreign language environment"
    Explanation: Adding "oneself" clarifies the subject and maintains grammatical correctness.

  8. "forces learners to use the language daily" -> "compels learners to utilize the language on a daily basis"
    Explanation: "Forces" is slightly informal. "Compels" is a more formal synonym, and "utilize" is a more sophisticated alternative to "use."

  9. "In addition" -> "Furthermore"
    Explanation: "In addition" is less formal than "Furthermore," which is commonly used in academic writing to indicate additional points.

  10. "the lack of environments" -> "the absence of conducive environments"
    Explanation: "Lack of environments" is awkward. "Absence of conducive environments" is more precise and formal.

  11. "makes studying abroad worthwhile" -> "renders studying abroad valuable"
    Explanation: "Makes" is less formal. "Renders" is more sophisticated and appropriate for academic writing.

  12. "participating in the life of that culture" -> "engaging in the cultural milieu"
    Explanation: "Participating in the life of that culture" is somewhat verbose. "Engaging in the cultural milieu" is concise and formal.

  13. "Exposure to the daily life of locals" -> "Immersion in the daily routines of indigenous inhabitants"
    Explanation: "Exposure to" can be replaced with "Immersion in" for a more vivid and formal expression. "Locals" can be substituted with "indigenous inhabitants" for variety and specificity.

  14. "fosters a deep understanding" -> "nurtures profound comprehension"
    Explanation: "Fosters a deep understanding" is adequate but could be enriched with "nurtures profound comprehension," which is more formal and descriptive.

  15. "which is not likely to be gained" -> "which is unlikely to be attained"
    Explanation: "Not likely to be gained" is slightly informal. "Unlikely to be attained" is more formal and precise.

  16. "from other methods such as media or books" -> "through alternative means such as media or literature"
    Explanation: "From other methods such as media or books" can be refined to "through alternative means such as media or literature" for a more academic tone.

  17. "non-biased perspective" -> "unbiased viewpoint"
    Explanation: "Non-biased perspective" is acceptable but "unbiased viewpoint" is more concise and commonly used in academic writing.

  18. "putting coal all over the body" -> "applying coal to the entire body"
    Explanation: "Putting" is colloquial. "Applying" is more formal and precise. Additionally, "all over the body" can be replaced with "to the entire body" for clarity.

  19. "is hard to understand" -> "may seem perplexing"
    Explanation: "Is hard to understand" is somewhat informal. "May seem perplexing" maintains formality while expressing the same idea.

  20. "a good way for students to enhance their language ability" -> "an effective means for students to bolster their linguistic proficiency"
    Explanation: "A good way for students to enhance their language ability" is clear but could be more precise and formal. "An effective means for students to bolster their linguistic proficiency" provides a more sophisticated alternative.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all aspects of the prompt by discussing both language acquisition and cultural understanding in the context of studying and living abroad. It acknowledges the benefits of such an experience and provides examples to support its argument.
    • How to improve: While the essay adequately covers the main points, providing more specific examples or personal anecdotes could enhance the depth of analysis, demonstrating a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, agreeing with the idea that students should spend time studying and living in a different country. Each paragraph reinforces this position, and transitions between ideas are smooth.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, ensure that each paragraph’s topic sentence explicitly ties back to the overall position, leaving no room for ambiguity.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents and supports its ideas. It introduces the benefits of language immersion and cultural understanding, elaborating on each point with logical reasoning and relevant examples.
    • How to improve: To enhance the depth of analysis, consider exploring potential counterarguments and addressing them to demonstrate a thorough consideration of opposing viewpoints.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, discussing the importance of studying and living abroad for language and cultural learning. However, the example about putting coal on the body to repel mosquitoes slightly deviates from the main focus on language and culture.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all examples directly relate to either language acquisition or cultural understanding, avoiding tangents that may distract from the central argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong grasp of the prompt and effectively articulates its arguments. By incorporating more specific examples and addressing potential counterarguments, the essay could further elevate its analysis and depth of insight.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a logical organization overall. It begins with a clear introduction that presents the stance and outlines the main points to be discussed. Each subsequent paragraph elaborates on a specific aspect supporting the argument, starting with the benefits of studying a language in its native environment and then progressing to the importance of cultural immersion. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the stance. However, there is room for improvement in the transitional phrases between paragraphs to create smoother connections and enhance coherence.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical coherence, incorporate more explicit transitional phrases or sentences between paragraphs to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next. For instance, using phrases like "Furthermore" or "Moreover" at the beginning of paragraphs can strengthen the logical flow of ideas.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is adequately divided into paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. However, there are opportunities to refine the structure of individual paragraphs for improved clarity and coherence. For example, the second paragraph could be further subdivided to separate the discussion of language acquisition and cultural immersion, enhancing the organization of ideas within the paragraph.
    • How to improve: Consider subdividing longer paragraphs into smaller ones to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea or aspect of the argument. This subdivision can help maintain clarity and coherence while allowing for more precise development of each point.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences, such as "First," "Second," and "In conclusion." Additionally, pronouns like "it" and "that" are used to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, aiding coherence. However, there is limited variety in the cohesive devices employed, and some transitions between ideas could be strengthened for smoother progression.
    • How to improve: Expand the range of cohesive devices utilized, including conjunctions (e.g., "Furthermore," "However"), transitional phrases (e.g., "On the other hand," "In contrast"), and synonyms to avoid repetitive language. This will enhance coherence by providing clearer links between ideas and improving the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, ensure that transitions between ideas are explicit and seamless to maintain reader engagement and comprehension.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "acquire knowledge," "immersing," "fosters," and "non-biased perspective." There is a consistent effort to vary word choice and express ideas effectively.
    • How to improve: While the essay generally utilizes a wide range of vocabulary, enhancing it further with more nuanced and contextually appropriate terms could elevate the expression. Consider incorporating domain-specific vocabulary related to education, cultural immersion, and language acquisition to add depth to the discussion.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying ideas. For instance, phrases like "deep understanding of the culture" and "non-biased perspective" are clear and specific. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise, such as in the phrase "the lack of environments." Here, a more specific term like "immersive environments" or "language-rich settings" could enhance clarity.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to the context in which vocabulary is used and aim for precision to avoid ambiguity. Consider consulting a thesaurus or conducting additional research to find the most fitting terms for conveying specific concepts.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally correct spelling throughout. However, there are a few instances where minor spelling errors are present, such as "speeded" (sped) and "mosquitos" (mosquitoes). These errors do not significantly detract from the overall coherence and readability of the essay but should be addressed to enhance professionalism.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spelling and grammar checkers, proofreading the essay thoroughly, and practicing spelling of commonly misspelled words. Additionally, expanding your vocabulary can also aid in recognizing correct spellings through increased exposure to words in various contexts.

Overall, the essay exhibits strong lexical resource, with a commendable range of vocabulary and mostly precise word choice. Addressing minor spelling errors and striving for even greater precision in vocabulary usage would further enhance the effectiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, ranging from simple to complex. Simple sentences, such as "This essay agrees that students should do that because they can benefit greatly," are interspersed with more complex ones, such as "While studying in classes provides students with the knowledge, the lack of environments and motivation to practice makes studying abroad worthwhile." This combination enhances the readability and engagement of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the richness of sentence structures, consider incorporating compound-complex sentences. For instance, instead of exclusively using simple and complex structures, experiment with sentences that contain both dependent and independent clauses. This can add depth and sophistication to your writing, enriching its overall quality.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors that significantly hinder comprehension. One example of effective grammatical usage is the correct application of verb tenses throughout the essay. For instance, "It is argued that students should have a period of time living in a foreign country" demonstrates proper tense agreement. Additionally, punctuation is generally used accurately, aiding clarity and coherence.
    • How to improve: While the essay exhibits strong grammatical accuracy overall, there are minor instances where improvements can be made. For example, in the sentence "Exposure to the daily life of locals fosters a deep understanding of the culture, which is not likely to be gained from other methods such as media or books," consider adding a comma after "books" for improved clarity: "Exposure to the daily life of locals fosters a deep understanding of the culture, which is not likely to be gained from other methods such as media, or books." Additionally, ensure consistency in subject-verb agreement and maintain clarity in complex sentence structures to minimize any potential confusion for the reader.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is argued that students should spend a period of time living in a foreign country to gain insight into the language and culture of that nation. This essay agrees with this notion as it offers significant advantages.

Firstly, studying a language in its native environment can enhance students’ learning efficacy. Immersing oneself in a foreign language environment accelerates the learning process by compelling learners to utilize the language on a daily basis, thus enhancing their ability to use it effectively. Furthermore, living among native speakers enables students to derive significant advantages by picking up language nuances not typically taught in traditional classroom settings. While classroom learning provides foundational knowledge, the absence of conducive environments for language practice renders studying abroad valuable.

Secondly, cultural understanding is best attained through engaging in the cultural milieu of the host country. Immersion in the daily routines of indigenous inhabitants nurtures profound comprehension of the culture, which is unlikely to be attained through alternative means such as media or literature. Additionally, being immersed in the cultural milieu enables students to develop an unbiased viewpoint, understanding the reasons behind cultural differences. For instance, applying coal to the entire body may seem perplexing, but students living in a foreign country can learn that it is an effective means for repelling mosquitos in the absence of other methods.

In conclusion, temporary living in another country should be an integral part of education as it provides an effective means for students to bolster their linguistic proficiency and gain a well-rounded understanding of different cultures.

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