Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think are consumers influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies.
To what extent do you think are consumers influenced by advertisements?
What measures can be taken to protect them?

Nowadays, the prevalence of advertisements helps facilitate economic activities but brings demerits such as misinformation to consumers. Therefore, this essay will discuss the reason why people are affected by ads and some practical solutions to address this issue.
There is no doubt that buyers are significantly impacted by advertisements. Most businesses tend to exaggerate and distort the truths about their products for commercial purposes, which manipulate people to buy things impulsively. For instance, there are companies that provide supplementary products often cooperate with celebrities to promote or exaggerate their product’s advantages, which attract customers’ tendency and convince them to purchase for those products. Moreover, the target audience for advertisement is usually young people, who have little awareness of the temptation of overstating products, leading to unthoughtful decisions. For example, some children use social media and approach advertisements about legos, then persuade their parents to purchase these products which they do not use for any purposes.
Advertisements can be helpful if individuals and governments know how to deal with these problems. First, each customer should consider and evaluate the difference between reality and the exaggeration of product’s withdraws from those advertisements. For example, when a celebrity or influencer makes compliments on a product, customers should be skeptical about it and purchase it if necessary. Furthermore, the government should impose strict laws and regulations on fake advertisements to help to prevent consumers from buying things impulsively.
In conclusion, although advertisements can increase companies and brands sales, it can bring negative influence to customers. Consumers and viewers should be presented with advertisements that are not unethical or inappropriate, advertising agency should make an advertisement that live up to its hype.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Nowadays" is somewhat informal and colloquial. "Currently" maintains the temporal reference while sounding more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"the prevalence of advertisements helps facilitate economic activities" -> "the ubiquity of advertisements contributes to economic activities"
Explanation: "Prevalence" suggests merely widespread existence, while "ubiquity" conveys a stronger sense of omnipresence, which aligns better with the idea of advertisements being everywhere. "Contributes to economic activities" is a more formal and precise way of expressing the role of advertisements in the economy.
"brings demerits such as misinformation to consumers" -> "brings drawbacks, such as misinformation, to consumers"
Explanation: "Demerits" is less formal and less commonly used in academic writing. "Drawbacks" is a more neutral and formal term. Adding a comma after "misinformation" enhances readability and clarifies the list of drawbacks.
"reason why people are affected by ads" -> "factors influencing individuals’ susceptibility to advertisements"
Explanation: "Reason why people are affected by ads" is somewhat redundant and could be more succinctly expressed. "Factors influencing individuals’ susceptibility to advertisements" provides a more comprehensive and precise description.
"There is no doubt that buyers are significantly impacted by advertisements." -> "It is undeniable that consumers are greatly influenced by advertisements."
Explanation: The original sentence is somewhat informal. "It is undeniable" strengthens the assertion and sounds more academic. "Consumers" is a more precise term than "buyers," and "greatly influenced" is a more formal way to express impact.
"tend to exaggerate and distort the truths" -> "tend to exaggerate and distort the reality"
Explanation: "Truths" is somewhat colloquial and can be replaced with a more formal term like "reality," which better reflects the objective nature of the information being distorted.
"supplementary products often cooperate with celebrities" -> "complementary products often collaborate with celebrities"
Explanation: "Supplementary" might not be the most accurate term here. "Complementary" better describes products that enhance or complete something else. "Cooperate" is replaced with "collaborate" for a more formal tone.
"product’s advantages" -> "product’s benefits"
Explanation: "Advantages" is suitable, but "benefits" is a more precise and formal term often used in academic contexts.
"convince them to purchase for those products" -> "persuade them to purchase these products"
Explanation: "For those products" is redundant and awkward. "To purchase these products" is a more concise and natural expression.
"Moreover, the target audience for advertisement is usually young people, who have little awareness of the temptation of overstating products, leading to unthoughtful decisions." -> "Moreover, advertisements typically target young people, who may be less aware of the tendency to exaggerate product claims, resulting in impulsive decisions."
Explanation: The original sentence is convoluted and lacks clarity. Simplifying the structure and using more precise language improves readability and comprehension.
"approach advertisements about legos" -> "encounter advertisements for Lego products"
Explanation: "Approach advertisements" is unclear and awkward. "Encounter advertisements for Lego products" provides a clearer and more natural description.
"withdraws from those advertisements" -> "claims made in those advertisements"
Explanation: "Withdraws" is incorrect in this context. "Claims made in those advertisements" accurately describes the content being exaggerated.
"each customer should consider and evaluate the difference between reality and the exaggeration of product’s withdraws from those advertisements" -> "consumers should critically evaluate the disparity between reality and the exaggerated claims presented in advertisements"
Explanation: The original sentence is overly complex and lacks clarity. Simplifying the structure and using more precise language improves readability and comprehension.
"product’s withdraws" -> "product’s claims"
Explanation: "Withdraws" is incorrect in this context. "Claims" accurately describes the assertions made about the product in advertisements.
"impose strict laws and regulations on fake advertisements" -> "enact stringent laws and regulations to combat false advertising"
Explanation: "Imposing strict laws and regulations" is somewhat redundant. "Enact stringent laws and regulations" is more concise. "Fake advertisements" is replaced with "false advertising" for clarity and precision.
"to help to prevent consumers from buying things impulsively" -> "to mitigate impulsive consumer behavior"
Explanation: "Help to prevent" can be simplified to "prevent" for conciseness. "Mitigate impulsive consumer behavior" is a more formal and precise way to express the intended meaning.
"although advertisements can increase companies and brands sales" -> "while advertisements can boost sales for companies and brands"
Explanation: The original sentence is awkwardly structured. Rearranging and simplifying the phrasing improves clarity and readability.
"can bring negative influence to customers" -> "can exert negative influence on consumers"
Explanation: "Bring negative influence" is less formal. "Exert negative influence on consumers" is a more precise and formal expression.
"Consumers and viewers should be presented with advertisements that are not unethical or inappropriate" -> "Consumers and viewers should be exposed to advertisements that adhere to ethical standards and appropriateness"
Explanation: "Presented with advertisements" is somewhat passive. "Exposed to advertisements" is more direct. "That are not unethical or inappropriate" is replaced with "that adhere to ethical standards and appropriateness" for clarity and formality.
"advertising agency should make an advertisement that live up to its hype" -> "advertising agencies should ensure that advertisements live up to their claims"
Explanation: "Advertising agency should make an advertisement" is awkwardly phrased. "Advertise agencies should ensure that advertisements" is more natural. "Live up to its hype" is replaced with "live up to their claims" for clarity and precision.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both components of the prompt. It discusses the influence of advertisements on consumers and proposes measures to protect them.
- The first part of the prompt regarding the extent of consumer influence by advertisements is addressed through examples illustrating how ads manipulate consumers into making impulsive purchases, especially targeting young people. The essay acknowledges the pervasive impact of advertisements on consumer behavior.
- The second part, concerning measures to protect consumers, is also addressed. The essay suggests individual actions such as critical evaluation of advertisements and government intervention through stricter regulations to curb deceptive advertising practices.
- How to improve: While the essay addresses both aspects of the prompt, it could strengthen its response by providing more nuanced analysis and exploring alternative perspectives. Additionally, citing specific research or statistics could enhance the depth of the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting that advertisements have a significant influence on consumers and advocating for measures to mitigate their negative impact.
- The introduction sets the tone by acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of advertisements but ultimately positions them as having detrimental effects.
- Each paragraph reinforces this stance, emphasizing the manipulative nature of advertisements and advocating for consumer awareness and government regulation.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the essay could explicitly state the thesis or main argument in the introduction. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph directly supports the main position can strengthen coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas adequately but lacks depth in development and support.
- The examples provided to illustrate the influence of advertisements are relevant but somewhat simplistic. They could be enriched with more diverse examples or case studies.
- While the essay suggests measures to address the issue, such as individual skepticism and government regulations, it lacks elaboration on how these measures would effectively protect consumers.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay could delve deeper into each point, providing more analysis and evidence to support arguments. Including real-life examples or studies demonstrating the impact of deceptive advertising would strengthen the essay’s persuasiveness.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic but occasionally lacks precision in addressing the prompt.
- The discussion primarily revolves around the influence of advertisements and measures to protect consumers, aligning with the prompt’s focus.
- However, minor tangential points, such as mentioning the benefits of advertisements for economic activities, could be more closely tied to the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should ensure that all points directly relate to the central argument. Avoiding tangential discussions or clearly connecting them to the main topic would improve coherence.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the influence of advertisements on consumers and proposing measures for protection, it could strengthen its response through deeper analysis, clearer articulation of arguments, and tighter focus on the main topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization. It begins with an introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed – the influence of advertisements on consumers and measures to protect them. Each subsequent paragraph addresses one aspect of the argument: the impact of advertisements on consumers and suggested measures to mitigate negative effects. However, the flow of ideas could be improved for better coherence. Transitions between paragraphs are somewhat abrupt, lacking smooth connections that would guide the reader through the essay seamlessly. Additionally, within paragraphs, the development of ideas could be more structured to enhance clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider restructuring the essay to ensure a more coherent flow of ideas. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the thesis statement and the overall argument of the essay. Use transitional phrases or sentences to smoothly connect ideas between paragraphs, guiding the reader through the essay’s progression. Within paragraphs, ensure that each idea is developed logically, with supporting evidence and examples presented in a clear and structured manner.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to organize its content, but there are areas where paragraphing could be improved for better coherence and effectiveness. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the essay topic, such as the influence of advertisements on consumers and proposed solutions. However, the organization within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, with ideas lacking coherence and cohesion. Additionally, some paragraphs could be further developed to provide more depth and clarity to the discussion.
- How to improve: Focus on structuring paragraphs more effectively to enhance coherence and readability. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea or argument to be discussed. Ensure that all sentences within the paragraph support and expand upon the central topic, maintaining a logical progression of ideas. Use transitions between sentences and paragraphs to establish connections and guide the reader through the essay smoothly. Consider revising paragraphs that lack clarity or depth to provide more thorough analysis and explanation.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve coherence. Cohesive devices such as conjunctions ("but," "for instance," "furthermore," "although") are used to link sentences and ideas within paragraphs, aiding in the progression of the argument. However, there is limited variety in the use of cohesive devices, and some transitions between ideas are abrupt or weak, affecting the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: Expand the range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay to improve coherence and connectivity between ideas. Incorporate a variety of transitional words and phrases to signal relationships between sentences and paragraphs, such as "in addition," "on the other hand," "conversely," and "therefore." Ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently and effectively to guide the reader through the essay’s logical progression. Review the essay for areas where transitions may be unclear or lacking, and revise to strengthen coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, incorporating terms relevant to the discussion of advertisements and consumer influence. For instance, the essay employs words such as "prevalence," "exaggerate," "manipulate," "temptation," "impose," and "unethical." However, there is room for improvement in the variety and sophistication of vocabulary usage. Some concepts could be expressed using more precise or nuanced language.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating a broader range of vocabulary, including synonyms and more specialized terms related to advertising and consumer behavior. Additionally, aim for greater precision and sophistication in word choice to convey ideas more effectively. For example, instead of repeatedly using "exaggerate," explore synonyms like "inflate," "embellish," or "overstate" to enrich the expression.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with moderate precision. However, there are instances where the usage could be more precise to convey intended meanings accurately. For example, phrases like "exaggerate and distort the truths" could be more precise by specifying the type of misinformation or deception involved.
- How to improve: Focus on selecting vocabulary that precisely conveys the intended meaning in each context. Avoid vague or ambiguous terms that might obscure the message. Consider using more specific language to describe concepts and avoid generalizations. For instance, instead of "exaggerate," specify the nature of the misinformation, such as "fabricate claims" or "misrepresent product features."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy, with no major spelling errors that significantly impede understanding. However, there are some minor spelling errors and typos present, such as "withdraws" instead of "drawbacks." These errors do not detract substantially from the overall coherence and clarity of the essay but indicate a need for closer attention to spelling.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider employing strategies such as proofreading carefully before submission, using spell-checking tools, and enhancing familiarity with commonly misspelled words. Additionally, practice spelling challenging words regularly to reinforce correct usage. Developing a habit of reviewing written work for spelling errors systematically can help mitigate such issues in future compositions.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, it employs compound sentences like "Most businesses tend to exaggerate and distort the truths about their products for commercial purposes, which manipulate people to buy things impulsively." Additionally, it utilizes complex structures such as "For example, some children use social media and approach advertisements about legos, then persuade their parents to purchase these products which they do not use for any purposes." However, there is a tendency towards simpler sentence structures throughout the essay, which could limit the overall sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentence constructions, such as using relative clauses, participial phrases, or conditional sentences. Introducing varied sentence lengths and patterns can add fluency and depth to the essay, providing a more engaging reading experience for the audience.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, but there are occasional errors and inconsistencies. For instance, in the sentence "Consumers and viewers should be presented with advertisements that are not unethical or inappropriate, advertising agency should make an advertisement that live up to its hype," there is a subject-verb agreement issue ("advertising agency" should be "advertising agencies") and a missing article ("an advertisement" instead of "advertisement"). Additionally, there are some punctuation errors, such as missing commas after introductory phrases ("For example") and in compound sentences ("Furthermore, the government should impose strict laws and regulations on fake advertisements to help to prevent consumers from buying things impulsively.").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review subject-verb agreement rules and practice using articles appropriately. Proofreading the essay carefully for punctuation errors, especially regarding commas, can also help enhance clarity and readability. Furthermore, considering the use of conjunctions and transitions to connect ideas effectively can improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary era, the ubiquity of advertisements contributes to economic activities but also brings drawbacks, such as misinformation, to consumers. It is undeniable that consumers are greatly influenced by advertisements. Most businesses tend to exaggerate and distort the reality about their products for commercial purposes, manipulating people into making impulsive purchases. For instance, complementary products often collaborate with celebrities to promote or exaggerate the benefits of their products, persuading consumers to buy them. Moreover, advertisements typically target young people, who may be less aware of the tendency to exaggerate product claims, resulting in impulsive decisions. For example, young children encountering advertisements for Lego products may persuade their parents to purchase these products based on claims made in those advertisements.

To mitigate the influence of advertisements on consumers, individuals should critically evaluate the disparity between reality and the exaggerated claims presented in advertisements. For instance, when a celebrity or influencer endorses a product, consumers should approach the endorsement with skepticism and only purchase the product if necessary. Additionally, governments should enact stringent laws and regulations to combat false advertising and protect consumers from making impulsive purchases.

In conclusion, while advertisements can boost sales for companies and brands, they can also exert negative influence on consumers. Consumers and viewers should be exposed to advertisements that adhere to ethical standards and appropriateness, and advertising agencies should ensure that advertisements live up to their claims. By taking these measures, consumers can make more informed purchasing decisions and be less susceptible to the manipulative tactics employed by advertisers.