Cyclists and car drivers today share the same road. What are the problems? What can be done to reduce these problems?

Cyclists and car drivers today share the same roads, creating an environment fraught with safety concerns. This tension isn’t born from malice, but rather from a complex interplay of inadequate infrastructure, behavioral differences, and a lack of proper road-sharing regulations. Exploring the causes of these problems and potential solutions is crucial for creating safer roads for everyone.

To reduce these problems, governments must prioritize infrastructure development and implement education campaigns to raise awareness. Investing in dedicated cycling lanes would significantly enhance safety for cyclists. This addition creates a physical separation between cyclists and motor vehicles, reducing the likelihood of accidents. Moreover, local authorities can encourage the installation of bike racks and safe parking areas, which would promote cycling as a viable transportation option. These facilities would also address concerns about theft and damage to bicycles, encouraging more people to choose cycling over driving.

### Đoạn 2 (Giải pháp)

To reduce these problems, governments must prioritize infrastructure development and implement education campaigns to raise awareness. [Investing in dedicated cycling lanes would significantly enhance safety for cyclists.] [This addition creates a physical separation between cyclists and motor vehicles, reducing the likelihood of accidents]. [Moreover, local authorities can encourage the installation of bike racks and safe parking areas, which would promote cycling as a viable transportation option]. [These facilities would also address concerns about theft and damage to bicycles, encouraging more people to choose cycling over driving].

**Dịch tiếng Việt**: Để giảm thiểu những vấn đề này, các chính phủ phải ưu tiên phát triển cơ sở hạ tầng và triển khai các chiến dịch giáo dục để nâng cao nhận thức. [Đầu tư vào các làn đường riêng cho xe đạp sẽ nâng cao sự an toàn đáng kể cho những người đi xe đạp]. [Sự bổ sung này tạo ra một sự tách biệt vật lý giữa người đi xe đạp và phương tiện cơ giới, giảm khả năng xảy ra tai nạn]. [Hơn nữa, các cơ quan địa phương có thể khuyến khích việc lắp đặt giá để xe đạp và khu vực đỗ xe an toàn, điều này sẽ thúc đẩy việc sử dụng xe đạp như một lựa chọn vận tải khả thi]. [Các cơ sở này cũng sẽ giải quyết những lo ngại về trộm cắp và hư hại cho xe đạp, khuyến khích nhiều người hơn chọn xe đạp thay vì lái xe ô tô].

In conclusion, while the shared use of roads between cyclists and car drivers presents serious challenges, recognizing its root causes and addressing them through improved infrastructure and education is the first step towards change

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Cyclists and car drivers today share the same roads" -> "Cyclists and motorists currently share the same roads"
Explanation: Replacing "car drivers" with "motorists" provides a more formal and precise term, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"creating an environment fraught with safety concerns" -> "creating an environment fraught with safety concerns"
Explanation: The phrase "fraught with" is correct and idiomatic, but it might be considered slightly informal for academic writing. A more formal alternative could be "characterized by numerous safety concerns."
"This tension isn’t born from malice" -> "This tension does not arise from malice"
Explanation: "Isn’t born from" is informal and slightly awkward in this context. "Does not arise from" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"a lack of proper road-sharing regulations" -> "the absence of adequate road-sharing regulations"
Explanation: "A lack of" is somewhat vague; "the absence of" is more precise and formal, fitting better in an academic context.
"Exploring the causes of these problems" -> "Examining the causes of these issues"
Explanation: "Exploring" is somewhat informal and vague; "examining" is more precise and commonly used in academic texts to denote a systematic investigation.
"Investing in dedicated cycling lanes" -> "Investing in dedicated cycling lanes"
Explanation: This is a minor correction to ensure parallel structure and maintain the formal tone.
"would significantly enhance safety for cyclists" -> "would substantially improve safety for cyclists"
Explanation: "Enhance" is correct but "substantially improve" is more specific and academically appropriate, emphasizing the degree of improvement.
"reduce the likelihood of accidents" -> "reduce the risk of accidents"
Explanation: "Likelihood" is less formal than "risk," which is commonly used in academic discussions of probability and safety.
"promote cycling as a viable transportation option" -> "promote cycling as a viable transportation alternative"
Explanation: "Option" is correct but "alternative" is more specific and formal, emphasizing the choice between different modes of transportation.
"address concerns about theft and damage to bicycles" -> "address concerns regarding theft and damage to bicycles"
Explanation: "Regarding" is more formal and precise than "about," which is somewhat informal and vague in this context.
"choose cycling over driving" -> "opt for cycling over driving"
Explanation: "Choose" is correct but "opt for" is more formal and fits better in an academic context, suggesting a deliberate decision-making process.

These changes aim to refine the vocabulary and tone of the essay to better align with academic standards, enhancing clarity, precision, and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying the problems faced by cyclists and car drivers and proposing solutions. The mention of inadequate infrastructure, behavioral differences, and lack of regulations highlights a comprehensive understanding of the issues. The solutions proposed, such as dedicated cycling lanes and education campaigns, are relevant and actionable. However, the essay could benefit from explicitly stating the problems in a more structured manner, perhaps by listing them before transitioning into solutions.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, consider clearly delineating the problems in a separate section before discussing solutions. This could involve explicitly stating each problem in a bullet-point format or numbered list, followed by corresponding solutions. This structure would ensure that all aspects of the prompt are thoroughly covered.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position advocating for improved infrastructure and education as solutions to the problems faced by cyclists and car drivers. The introduction sets a strong tone, and the conclusion reinforces this stance. However, the repetition of the phrase "To reduce these problems" at the beginning of two consecutive paragraphs could lead to a slight impression of redundancy.
- How to improve: To maintain clarity and avoid redundancy, vary the phrasing when introducing solutions. For example, instead of repeating "To reduce these problems," consider using phrases like "To address these challenges" or "In response to these issues." This variation can help keep the reader engaged while reinforcing the essay’s position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas effectively, particularly in discussing the importance of dedicated cycling lanes and education campaigns. Each idea is supported with reasoning, such as the physical separation of cyclists and vehicles reducing accidents. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples or statistics to strengthen the argument further.
- How to improve: Incorporate specific examples or data to support the claims made. For instance, referencing studies that show a decrease in accidents in areas with dedicated cycling lanes or statistics on increased cycling rates after implementing educational campaigns would provide stronger support for the proposed solutions.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the shared use of roads and the associated problems and solutions. There are no significant deviations from the main topic, which contributes to the overall coherence of the essay. However, the inclusion of the Vietnamese translation in the middle of the essay could distract from the main argument and may confuse readers who are not bilingual.
- How to improve: Ensure that all content is relevant to the essay’s main argument and avoid including unrelated text, such as translations, within the essay. If translations are necessary for clarity, consider placing them in a footnote or appendix rather than within the main body of the essay to maintain focus and coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task, with clear ideas and relevant solutions. By implementing the suggested improvements, the essay could achieve an even higher level of clarity and effectiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the problem and its causes, followed by a body paragraph that discusses potential solutions. The logical flow is maintained as the author transitions from identifying the issues to proposing actionable steps. For example, the mention of infrastructure development is directly linked to the safety concerns raised earlier, demonstrating a coherent progression of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to explicitly state the main idea. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases between sentences and paragraphs can further guide the reader through the argument. For instance, phrases like "Furthermore," or "In addition to this," can help emphasize connections between points.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. The first paragraph introduces the issue, while the second paragraph elaborates on solutions. However, the essay could benefit from a more distinct separation between the introduction and the body paragraphs, as well as a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear purpose and is sufficiently developed. You could add a concluding sentence in each paragraph that reinforces the main idea before transitioning to the next point. Additionally, consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones if they cover multiple ideas, which can enhance readability and clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "Moreover," and "This addition," which help connect sentences and ideas. However, the repetition of similar phrases, particularly in the second paragraph, can make the writing feel somewhat monotonous. For example, the phrase "To reduce these problems" is used twice at the beginning of consecutive sentences, which can disrupt the flow.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating synonyms or varying the structure of sentences. For example, instead of repeating "To reduce these problems," you could use "To address these challenges" or "To mitigate these issues." Additionally, employing a wider range of cohesive devices, such as "Consequently," "As a result," or "In contrast," can enhance the richness of the writing and improve overall cohesion.

By addressing these areas for improvement while maintaining the strengths already present, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially reaching a band score of 9.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, particularly in discussing the issues surrounding cyclists and car drivers. Phrases like "environment fraught with safety concerns," "complex interplay of inadequate infrastructure," and "promote cycling as a viable transportation option" showcase a good command of language. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied to avoid repetition, such as the repeated use of "problems" and "reduce."
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "problems," you could use "challenges," "issues," or "difficulties." Additionally, incorporating more descriptive adjectives and adverbs could enrich the text, such as "significantly" or "substantially" to modify verbs.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with terms like "infrastructure development" and "education campaigns" being appropriate for the context. However, there are moments where the precision of vocabulary could be improved. For instance, the phrase "creating an environment fraught with safety concerns" could be interpreted as overly dramatic and may not accurately reflect the situation.
- How to improve: Aim for more straightforward language that conveys the message clearly. Instead of "fraught with safety concerns," consider "that raises safety concerns." This change maintains the meaning while enhancing clarity. Additionally, ensure that all terms used are relevant to the context; for example, "viable transportation option" could be simplified to "a practical choice for commuting."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text provided. Words like "infrastructure," "education," and "accidents" are spelled correctly, reflecting a solid grasp of English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: To maintain and improve spelling accuracy, continue to proofread your work carefully. Consider using spell-check tools and reading your essay aloud to catch any potential errors. Additionally, familiarize yourself with commonly misspelled words in English, particularly those related to your essay topics, to further enhance your spelling skills.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary, there are opportunities for improvement in variety, precision, and continued attention to spelling. By implementing these suggestions, you can enhance your lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "This tension isn’t born from malice, but rather from a complex interplay of inadequate infrastructure, behavioral differences, and a lack of proper road-sharing regulations" effectively conveys nuanced ideas. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple and compound sentences, which helps maintain reader engagement. However, there are instances of repetitive phrasing, particularly in the second paragraph where the phrase "to reduce these problems" is used twice, which detracts from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, consider varying the introductory phrases and employing more subordinate clauses. For example, instead of repeating "To reduce these problems," you could use alternatives like "To address these issues" or "In order to mitigate these challenges." Incorporating more varied sentence openings and transitions will also enrich the text.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy. Most sentences are well-structured, and punctuation is used correctly to enhance clarity. For example, commas are appropriately placed to separate clauses, as seen in "Moreover, local authorities can encourage the installation of bike racks and safe parking areas." However, there are minor issues, such as the use of "this addition" without a clear antecedent in the previous sentence, which could lead to ambiguity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, ensure that all pronouns have clear antecedents to avoid confusion. Additionally, reviewing complex sentence structures for clarity can help. For instance, you might rephrase "This addition creates a physical separation between cyclists and motor vehicles" to "The addition of dedicated cycling lanes creates a physical separation between cyclists and motor vehicles," which clarifies the subject. Regular practice with grammar exercises focusing on complex sentences and punctuation rules can also help solidify these skills.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, but attention to sentence variety and clarity will further enhance its quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Improved Essay:**

Cyclists and car drivers today share the same roads, creating an environment fraught with safety concerns. This tension does not arise from malice, but rather from a complex interplay of inadequate infrastructure, behavioral differences, and the absence of adequate road-sharing regulations. Examining the causes of these issues and potential solutions is crucial for creating safer roads for everyone.

To reduce these problems, governments must prioritize infrastructure development and implement education campaigns to raise awareness. Investing in dedicated cycling lanes would substantially improve safety for cyclists. This addition creates a physical separation between cyclists and motor vehicles, thereby reducing the risk of accidents. Moreover, local authorities can encourage the installation of bike racks and safe parking areas, which would promote cycling as a viable transportation alternative. These facilities would also address concerns regarding theft and damage to bicycles, encouraging more people to opt for cycling over driving.