Đề 1: Nowadays, the traditions and customs relating to the food we eat and the way we eat are changing. Why is this happening? Do you think this kind of change is positive or negative?

In recent days, The changing traditions and customs surrounding food consumption can be attributed to several factors, due to the external and internal effects. In my point of view, this trend could have positive and negative consequences in equal measure.

First of all, if applying new traditions and customs in foods, this can lead to some positive aspects for the country as well as life’s individual. With increased connectivity and the ease of travel and communication, people are exposed to diverse cuisines and eating habits from around the world. This exposure leads to the adoption of new food preferences and eating practices flexibly. Health consideration is very necessary to improve awareness of the link between diet and health nowadays. As a result, people are paying more attention to what they eat and making choices based on nutritional value and health benefits. This can lead to changes in traditional eating patterns, with a greater emphasis on fresh produce, whole grains, and lean proteins.

For the negative position, these changes can be disadvantageous for the country. This can lead to the loss of the original culture of the country and forget what ancestors are going on keeping for today. As a result, the wave of the youngest today can be affected directly by the fast-paced change and they can not take over the mission of the forefather. Furthermore, traditional food has the meaning of earning experiences which can help the youngest to improve their life and be a sturdy base for all their future. If they forget this, they can not have the ability to solve any problems and be immersed in extreme cultures easily.

In conclusion, applying new things in food could have both benefits and drawbacks. I support the idea that its positive changes outweigh its negative ones.

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Errors and Improvements:

"In recent days" -> "Recently"
Explanation: "In recent days" is less formal and can imply a very short, specific time frame. "Recently" is more appropriate for academic writing and conveys a general recent past without specifying an exact timeframe.
"due to the external and internal effects" -> "owing to various external and internal factors"
Explanation: The phrase "due to the external and internal effects" is vague. "Owing to various external and internal factors" is more precise and academically formal, providing a clearer understanding that multiple factors are involved.
"In my point of view" -> "From my perspective"
Explanation: "In my point of view" is less formal and slightly awkward. "From my perspective" is more academically appropriate and flows better in formal writing.
"positive and negative consequences in equal measure" -> "both positive and negative implications to a comparable extent"
Explanation: The phrase "positive and negative consequences in equal measure" is informal and imprecise. "Both positive and negative implications to a comparable extent" is more formal and provides a clearer, more academic expression of balance.
"if applying new traditions and customs in foods" -> "upon adopting new culinary traditions and customs"
Explanation: "if applying new traditions and customs in foods" is awkward and unclear. "Upon adopting new culinary traditions and customs" is more precise and uses appropriate academic terminology related to food and culture.
"life’s individual" -> "individual lives"
Explanation: "life’s individual" is incorrect and unclear. "Individual lives" correctly conveys the meaning intended and is grammatically correct.
"Health consideration is very necessary" -> "Health considerations are crucial"
Explanation: "Health consideration is very necessary" is informal and lacks precision. "Health considerations are crucial" is more formal and emphasizes the importance of health considerations.
"forget what ancestors are going on keeping for today" -> "forget the cultural heritage preserved by their ancestors"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and unclear. "Forget the cultural heritage preserved by their ancestors" is more formal, clear, and accurately conveys the idea of losing cultural traditions.
"the wave of the youngest today" -> "the younger generation today"
Explanation: "the wave of the youngest today" is informal and unclear. "The younger generation today" is a more precise and academically appropriate term.
"can not take over the mission of the forefather" -> "cannot continue the legacy of their forefathers"
Explanation: "can not take over the mission of the forefather" is awkward and informal. "Cannot continue the legacy of their forefathers" is more formal and clearly communicates the idea of preserving cultural heritage.
"earning experiences" -> "gaining experiences"
Explanation: "Earning experiences" is not the correct term in this context. "Gaining experiences" is more appropriate and commonly used in formal academic writing.
"be immersed in extreme cultures easily" -> "become easily immersed in extreme cultures"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed. "Become easily immersed in extreme cultures" is clearer and more naturally constructed for formal writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both aspects of the prompt, discussing reasons for the changing traditions and customs related to food consumption and presenting arguments for both positive and negative consequences.
- The essay acknowledges the factors contributing to changing food traditions, such as increased connectivity, ease of travel, and health considerations.
- It also discusses the potential positive outcomes, such as the adoption of healthier eating habits, as well as the negative implications, including the loss of cultural heritage.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, ensure that each aspect of the prompt is thoroughly explored. Provide more specific examples or evidence to support arguments for both positive and negative changes in food traditions.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position by stating that the changing traditions in food consumption can have both positive and negative consequences.
- It maintains this stance throughout the essay, discussing both sides of the argument and ultimately concluding that the positive changes outweigh the negative ones.
- How to improve: To strengthen clarity, ensure that the thesis statement explicitly outlines the stance taken on the issue. Additionally, maintain consistency in supporting arguments to avoid any ambiguity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the reasons for changing food traditions and their potential consequences.
- Ideas are extended through discussions on increased connectivity, health considerations, and cultural implications.
- Support for these ideas is provided through general statements and examples, although more specific examples or evidence could strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation of ideas, provide more detailed examples or evidence to support arguments. Additionally, ensure that each idea is thoroughly developed and connected to the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by addressing the reasons for changing food traditions and evaluating the positive and negative consequences.
- However, there are moments where the discussion slightly deviates, such as when discussing the loss of cultural heritage without directly tying it back to the main topic of changing food traditions.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all points discussed directly relate to the main topic of changing food traditions. Avoid tangential discussions that may distract from the central argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt and effectively addresses various aspects of the topic. To improve, it could benefit from providing more specific examples or evidence to support arguments and ensuring consistency in maintaining a clear position throughout the essay. Additionally, maintaining focus on the main topic and thoroughly exploring each aspect of the prompt would strengthen the overall coherence and depth of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a somewhat logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that sets up the discussion of changing food traditions, followed by two body paragraphs presenting arguments for both positive and negative aspects of these changes. However, there are some instances where the flow of ideas could be smoother, such as the transition between discussing positive and negative consequences.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to the main thesis. Additionally, work on smoother transitions between ideas, such as using transitional phrases or sentences to guide the reader from one point to the next.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the structure within each paragraph could be improved for clarity. While there is an attempt to separate different points, the paragraphs lack coherence and cohesion. For instance, within paragraphs, there are shifts between discussing positive and negative aspects without clear delineation.
- How to improve: Focus on maintaining unity within paragraphs by sticking to one main idea per paragraph. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that relate directly to that topic. Consider restructuring paragraphs to separate discussions of positive and negative aspects into distinct paragraphs for better organization.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes some cohesive devices to connect ideas, such as transitional phrases like "First of all" and "Furthermore." However, these cohesive devices are somewhat repetitive and could be more varied. Additionally, there are instances where the connection between ideas feels forced or unclear.
- How to improve: Expand the range of cohesive devices used, including synonyms for transitional phrases and varied sentence structures. Ensure that cohesive devices are used naturally to enhance the flow of ideas rather than feeling forced. Practice using cohesive devices to create stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion, there is room for improvement in terms of logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices. By focusing on these areas and implementing the suggested improvements, the essay can enhance its overall clarity and effectiveness in conveying ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fairly good range of vocabulary, with varied expressions such as "exposed to diverse cuisines," "adoption of new food preferences," "health consideration," and "greater emphasis on fresh produce." However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more diverse and nuanced. For instance, the repeated use of phrases like "new traditions and customs" could be replaced with synonyms or alternative expressions to enrich the vocabulary.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating synonyms, idiomatic expressions, or specialized terminology where appropriate. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "new traditions and customs," you could employ phrases like "evolving culinary practices" or "emerging dietary norms" to add depth to your language usage.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with moderate precision. For example, phrases like "adoption of new food preferences" and "greater emphasis on fresh produce" demonstrate a clear understanding of the intended meaning. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "loss of the original culture" could be further elaborated to specify which aspects of culture are being lost.
- How to improve: To improve precision, strive to use vocabulary that accurately conveys your intended meaning without ambiguity. Consider defining or elaborating on abstract concepts to provide clarity to your arguments. For instance, instead of "loss of the original culture," specify whether it refers to culinary traditions, cultural heritage, or societal norms to make your point more precise and impactful.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally satisfactory in the essay. However, there are a few minor errors, such as "life’s individual" (should be "individuals"), "advantageous for the country" (could be improved with "advantageous to the country"), and "forefather" (could be replaced with "ancestors" for clarity). These errors do not significantly detract from the overall coherence of the essay but addressing them would enhance the overall quality.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider proofreading your essay carefully to identify and correct any spelling errors. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common spelling patterns and practice using them in context to reinforce your spelling skills. Utilizing spelling and grammar checking tools can also be helpful in identifying and rectifying errors before submission.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a commendable effort in utilizing vocabulary and maintaining spelling accuracy, there is room for improvement in terms of diversifying vocabulary, refining precision, and ensuring consistent spelling throughout the essay. By implementing the suggested strategies and paying attention to detail, you can further enhance the lexical richness and coherence of your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. It utilizes complex sentences alongside simple ones, incorporating phrases and clauses effectively to convey ideas. For instance, the writer employs compound sentences ("This exposure leads to the adoption of new food preferences and eating practices flexibly") as well as complex sentences ("Health consideration is very necessary to improve awareness of the link between diet and health nowadays"). Additionally, there’s an attempt to use conditional structures ("if applying new traditions and customs in foods") and parallel structures ("with a greater emphasis on fresh produce, whole grains, and lean proteins"). However, there’s room for improvement in seamlessly integrating more advanced structures such as inversion or reduced relative clauses to further enrich the essay’s syntactical complexity.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and sophistication of sentence structures, consider incorporating inversion for emphasis or reduced relative clauses for conciseness. For example, instead of "With increased connectivity and the ease of travel and communication, people are exposed to diverse cuisines…", try "Exposed to diverse cuisines through increased connectivity and ease of travel and communication…". Additionally, experimenting with different sentence beginnings and lengths can also add dynamism to the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a proficient command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances where minor errors detract from the overall clarity and precision of expression. For example, in the sentence "Health consideration is very necessary to improve awareness of the link between diet and health nowadays," the phrase "Health consideration" lacks the definite article "the," and "awareness of the link" could be improved by replacing "of" with "regarding" for greater fluency ("awareness regarding the link between diet and health"). Additionally, there are inconsistencies in tense usage throughout the essay (e.g., "if applying" vs. "this can lead"), which slightly disrupt the essay’s coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to article usage, subject-verb agreement, and tense consistency. Proofreading the essay meticulously can help identify and rectify such errors. Furthermore, considering the use of more varied punctuation marks, such as colons or dashes, can contribute to better sentence structure and cohesion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates strong proficiency in grammatical range and accuracy, refining sentence structures and addressing minor errors can elevate the clarity and sophistication of expression, potentially leading to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent times, the evolving traditions and customs surrounding food consumption can be attributed to various external and internal factors. From my perspective, this shift could bring about both positive and negative implications to a comparable extent.

To begin with, the adoption of new culinary traditions and customs can offer several advantages for both the country and individuals. With increased connectivity and easier travel and communication, people are exposed to diverse cuisines and eating habits worldwide. This exposure encourages the adoption of new food preferences and eating practices. Health considerations are crucial in this regard, as awareness of the link between diet and health has improved significantly. Consequently, individuals are paying more attention to their dietary choices, opting for nutritious foods like fresh produce, whole grains, and lean proteins.

On the flip side, these changes may pose disadvantages for the country, potentially resulting in the erosion of its cultural heritage. The younger generation today may forget the cultural legacy preserved by their ancestors, unable to carry forward their traditions. This disconnect from tradition could leave them lacking in valuable experiences and struggling to navigate life’s challenges. Moreover, without a strong cultural foundation, they may become easily immersed in extreme cultures, losing touch with their own identity.

In conclusion, the adoption of new traditions and customs in food brings both benefits and drawbacks. However, I believe that the positive changes outweigh the negative ones.