Đề bài 2: Fossil fuels, such as coal, oil, and natural gas, are the main source for many countries while other nations are using alternative energy such as solar power and wind power. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some countries rely heavily on fossil fuels, such as coal, oil, and natural gas, while others are increasingly prioritizing clean energy sources like solar and wind power. Despite the advantages of clean energy, fossil fuels remain a viable and difficult-to-replace energy source. This essay will discuss both perspectives and provide an opinion on the issue.
Although alternative energy is considered sustainable and appealing, it has not proven globally effective. The fact is that wealthy countries are engaged in an energy race to gain global dominance, leading to serious geopolitical conflicts. For instance, China and the USA often clash over rare earth minerals essential for renewable energy technologies. These conflicts detract from international cooperation on environmental issues. Moreover, the feasibility of alternative energy is limited to certain areas. Its viability depends on favorable weather conditions, such as sunlight and wind, and substantial monetary investments. Consequently, clean energy is less accessible for many regions and nations, particularly those lacking the necessary resources and infrastructure.
In contrast, fossil fuels are more reliable for meeting widespread energy needs. The existing infrastructure for fossil fuel extraction, transportation, and distribution is extensive, ensuring a stable and continuous energy supply for large-scale demands. Technological advancements have also helped mitigate some of the negative impacts associated with fossil fuel use. For example, emission control systems have been developed to reduce pollution, and automation and robotics are increasingly used to replace humans in hazardous working conditions, improving safety and efficiency.
In conclusion, while the shift to alternative energy is crucial for sustainable development, its feasibility remains limited to specific regions. Conversely, fossil fuels are widely adopted across the globe, with ongoing efforts to mitigate their drawbacks through technological advancements. Therefore, fossil fuels remain a critical energy source compared to alternative energy.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Some countries rely heavily on" -> "Certain nations heavily rely on"
Explanation: Using "certain nations" instead of "some countries" provides a more precise and formal tone, which is more suitable for academic writing.
"fossil fuels, such as coal, oil, and natural gas" -> "fossil fuels, including coal, oil, and natural gas"
Explanation: "Including" is more precise and formal than "such as," which can imply a non-exhaustive list.
"are increasingly prioritizing" -> "are increasingly prioritizing"
Explanation: The verb tense should be consistent throughout the essay. The original sentence uses the present continuous tense, which is more appropriate for ongoing actions.
"a viable and difficult-to-replace energy source" -> "a viable yet challenging-to-replace energy source"
Explanation: Adding "yet" clarifies the contrast between the viability and difficulty of replacement, enhancing the formal tone and clarity.
"alternative energy is considered sustainable and appealing" -> "alternative energy is viewed as sustainable and attractive"
Explanation: "Viewed as" is more formal than "considered," and "attractive" is a more precise term than "appealing" in this context.
"has not proven globally effective" -> "has not been globally effective"
Explanation: "Has been" is grammatically correct and more formal than "has proven," which is less commonly used in this context.
"wealthy countries are engaged in an energy race" -> "wealthy nations engage in an energy competition"
Explanation: "Engage in an energy competition" is more precise and formal than "are engaged in an energy race," which sounds colloquial.
"leading to serious geopolitical conflicts" -> "resulting in significant geopolitical tensions"
Explanation: "Resulting in significant geopolitical tensions" is more precise and formal, avoiding the emotional connotation of "conflicts."
"rare earth minerals essential for renewable energy technologies" -> "rare earth minerals crucial for renewable energy technologies"
Explanation: "Crucial" is a more formal synonym for "essential," enhancing the academic tone.
"These conflicts detract from international cooperation on environmental issues" -> "These conflicts undermine international cooperation on environmental issues"
Explanation: "Undermine" is a more precise and formal term than "detract," which is somewhat vague in this context.
"the feasibility of alternative energy is limited to certain areas" -> "the feasibility of alternative energy is restricted to specific regions"
Explanation: "Restricted to specific regions" is more precise and formal than "limited to certain areas."
"Its viability depends on favorable weather conditions" -> "Its viability hinges on favorable weather conditions"
Explanation: "Hinges on" is a more formal expression than "depends on," which is somewhat basic.
"substantial monetary investments" -> "substantial financial investments"
Explanation: "Financial investments" is more specific and formal than "monetary investments," which is less precise.
"less accessible for many regions and nations" -> "less accessible to many regions and nations"
Explanation: "To" is the correct preposition for indicating access, improving the grammatical accuracy.
"fossil fuels are more reliable for meeting widespread energy needs" -> "fossil fuels are more reliable for fulfilling widespread energy demands"
Explanation: "Fulfilling" is a more formal synonym for "meeting," and "demands" is more precise than "needs" in this context.
"ongoing efforts to mitigate their drawbacks" -> "ongoing efforts to address their drawbacks"
Explanation: "Address" is a more formal term than "mitigate," which is slightly less common in this context.
"Therefore, fossil fuels remain a critical energy source compared to alternative energy" -> "Therefore, fossil fuels remain a critical energy source compared with alternative energy"
Explanation: "Compared with" is grammatically correct and more formal than "compared to," which is less precise in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding fossil fuels and alternative energy sources. The introduction clearly outlines the discussion of both perspectives, and the body paragraphs present arguments for each side. The essay discusses the advantages of fossil fuels, such as reliability and existing infrastructure, while also acknowledging the appeal and sustainability of alternative energy. However, the discussion on alternative energy could be more balanced, as it primarily focuses on its limitations rather than its benefits.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples of the benefits of alternative energy, such as its environmental advantages and long-term sustainability. Additionally, incorporating statistics or studies that highlight the effectiveness of renewable energy in certain regions could strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that, while alternative energy is important, fossil fuels are currently more viable. This stance is consistently reflected throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion, which reiterates the importance of fossil fuels. However, the position could be more explicitly stated in the introduction to guide the reader more effectively.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the introduction could include a more definitive statement of the author’s opinion, clearly indicating the preference for fossil fuels while acknowledging the need for alternative energy. This would help set the tone for the discussion and reinforce the position throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas related to both fossil fuels and alternative energy. It extends these ideas with relevant examples, such as geopolitical conflicts and technological advancements in fossil fuel use. However, the support for alternative energy arguments is less robust, primarily focusing on its challenges rather than its potential benefits.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the essay could include more detailed examples or case studies showcasing successful implementations of alternative energy. Discussing specific countries or regions that have effectively utilized solar or wind power could provide a more balanced view and enhance the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt regarding fossil fuels and alternative energy. However, some sections, particularly the discussion on geopolitical conflicts, may seem tangential to the main focus of energy sources. While relevant, this could distract from the central argument about energy viability.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay could limit discussions that do not directly relate to the effectiveness and viability of energy sources. Ensuring that all examples and points made directly tie back to the main argument will help keep the essay on topic and strengthen the overall coherence.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a well-structured argument. To achieve a higher band score, the author should aim for a more balanced discussion of alternative energy, provide clearer support for their position in the introduction, and ensure that all points made are directly relevant to the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the two opposing views regarding energy sources. The body paragraphs are well-defined, with the first discussing the limitations of alternative energy and the second highlighting the reliability of fossil fuels. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument. However, the transition between discussing the limitations of alternative energy and the advantages of fossil fuels could be smoother. For instance, the shift from the geopolitical conflicts surrounding renewable energy to the reliability of fossil fuels feels abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that link the two ideas more explicitly. For example, after discussing the limitations of alternative energy, a sentence like "Despite these challenges, fossil fuels continue to play a crucial role in meeting energy demands" could serve as a bridge between the two paragraphs.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into the arguments for both energy sources. However, the conclusion could be more clearly delineated as a separate paragraph, as it currently feels somewhat merged with the final body paragraph.
- How to improve: Ensure that the conclusion is distinctly separated from the body of the essay. This can be achieved by starting a new paragraph for the conclusion and clearly summarizing the main points discussed. Additionally, reiterating the opinion more emphatically in the conclusion can enhance clarity and impact.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "although," "for instance," and "consequently," which help to connect ideas and maintain coherence. However, there is a reliance on certain phrases, and some transitions could be more varied to avoid repetition. For example, the use of "Moreover" and "In contrast" is effective, but introducing additional cohesive devices could enrich the text.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating phrases like "On the other hand," "Additionally," or "Furthermore" to introduce new points or contrasting ideas. This will not only enhance the flow of the essay but also demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures, which is essential for achieving a higher band score.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents arguments in a coherent manner. By refining transitions, clearly separating paragraphs, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of energy sources. Terms like "fossil fuels," "clean energy," "geopolitical conflicts," and "sustainable development" indicate a solid understanding of the subject matter. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "fossil fuels" and "alternative energy" could be enhanced with synonyms or related terms to avoid redundancy and show a broader lexical range.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly stating "fossil fuels," you could use "non-renewable energy sources" or "traditional energy." Similarly, "clean energy" could be varied with "renewable energy" or "green energy." This will not only diversify your language but also demonstrate a deeper lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are areas where precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "the feasibility of alternative energy is limited to certain areas" could be more specific. Instead of "certain areas," specifying "regions with inadequate sunlight or wind resources" would provide clearer meaning. Additionally, the term "energy race" could be seen as somewhat vague; it might be more effective to specify what this race entails, such as competition for technological advancements or market dominance in renewable energy.
- How to improve: Focus on using precise vocabulary that conveys your ideas clearly. When discussing concepts, aim to provide specific details that enhance understanding. For example, instead of saying "geopolitical conflicts," you could elaborate on the types of conflicts or their implications for energy policy. This will improve clarity and strengthen your argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "infrastructure," "automation," and "pollution" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of the language. This contributes positively to the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: While spelling is currently accurate, it is important to maintain this level of precision. Regular practice with spelling exercises and reading extensively can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Additionally, proofreading your work before submission can catch any inadvertent errors that may arise.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, with room for improvement in vocabulary range and precision. By diversifying vocabulary and focusing on clarity, the essay can achieve an even higher level of lexical sophistication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the opening sentence effectively combines clauses to present contrasting views: "Some countries rely heavily on fossil fuels, such as coal, oil, and natural gas, while others are increasingly prioritizing clean energy sources like solar and wind power." Additionally, the use of subordinate clauses, as seen in "Although alternative energy is considered sustainable and appealing, it has not proven globally effective," showcases the writer’s ability to convey nuanced ideas. The essay also employs varied sentence beginnings, which enhances the overall flow and engagement.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases or transition words to connect ideas. For example, using phrases like "In light of this," or "On the other hand," at the beginning of paragraphs could enhance the coherence and complexity of the argument. Additionally, experimenting with more advanced structures, such as conditional sentences or participial phrases, could enrich the essay’s grammatical range.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with very few errors. For instance, the subject-verb agreement is consistently correct, as seen in "fossil fuels remain a viable and difficult-to-replace energy source." Punctuation is also used effectively, particularly in the use of commas to separate clauses and items in a list, such as in "coal, oil, and natural gas." However, there are minor areas where punctuation could be improved, such as the use of commas before conjunctions in compound sentences. For example, the sentence "Moreover, the feasibility of alternative energy is limited to certain areas" could benefit from a more nuanced use of punctuation to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, the writer should review the rules regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, particularly in cases where independent clauses are joined by coordinating conjunctions. Practicing sentence diagramming could also help in identifying potential areas for grammatical improvement. Additionally, proofreading for minor errors before submission can help catch any overlooked mistakes, ensuring a polished final product.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By continuing to diversify sentence structures and refining punctuation usage, the writer can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Although alternative energy is considered sustainable and attractive, it has not proven globally effective. The fact is that wealthy countries are engaged in an energy competition to gain global dominance, leading to serious geopolitical tensions. For instance, China and the USA often clash over rare earth minerals crucial for renewable energy technologies. These conflicts undermine international cooperation on environmental issues. Moreover, the feasibility of alternative energy is restricted to certain areas. Its viability hinges on favorable weather conditions, such as sunlight and wind, and substantial financial investments. Consequently, clean energy is less accessible to many regions and nations, particularly those lacking the necessary resources and infrastructure.

In contrast, fossil fuels are more reliable for fulfilling widespread energy demands. The existing infrastructure for fossil fuel extraction, transportation, and distribution is extensive, ensuring a stable and continuous energy supply for large-scale needs. Technological advancements have also helped address some of the negative impacts associated with fossil fuel use. For example, emission control systems have been developed to reduce pollution, and automation and robotics are increasingly used to replace humans in hazardous working conditions, improving safety and efficiency.

In conclusion, while the shift to alternative energy is crucial for sustainable development, its feasibility remains limited to specific regions. Conversely, fossil fuels are widely adopted across the globe, with ongoing efforts to address their drawbacks through technological advancements. Therefore, fossil fuels remain a critical energy source compared with alternative energy.