describe a regular activity you do to help protect the environment

Protecting the environment is an important responsibility of people. Each person also chooses a small way to aid the environment. Personally, I choose planting trees as the way for me to protect my ‘great home’. In Hanoi, there are many volunteer organizations where often arrange volunteer sessions to plan trees for locals where still have bare lands. I often take part in these sessions in my weekends with my friends. However, they are not very frequently organised, it’s just around every 2 months. Planting trees is an effective way to protect the environment. Trees absorb oxygen, reduce amount of cacbordioxide in the air. Moreover, trees are important factor to control the climate. In addition, forests play an important role in preventing landslide when there are storms or bloods. Inconclusion, planting trees is an easy and effective way to me to aid the environment.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Protecting the environment is an important responsibility of people." -> "Environmental protection is a significant responsibility of individuals."
Explanation: The phrase "Environmental protection is a significant responsibility of individuals" uses more formal language and clarifies the subject, enhancing the academic tone.
"Each person also chooses a small way to aid the environment." -> "Each individual also selects a modest approach to contribute to environmental conservation."
Explanation: "Selects a modest approach to contribute to environmental conservation" replaces the informal "chooses a small way to aid the environment" with more precise and formal language.
"Personally, I choose planting trees as the way for me to protect my ‘great home’." -> "Personally, I opt for tree planting as a means of protecting my environment."
Explanation: "Opt for tree planting as a means of protecting my environment" replaces the colloquial "choose planting trees as the way for me to protect my ‘great home’" with a more formal and precise expression.
"In Hanoi, there are many volunteer organizations where often arrange volunteer sessions to plan trees for locals where still have bare lands." -> "In Hanoi, numerous volunteer organizations frequently organize sessions to plant trees in areas with vacant land for local residents."
Explanation: This revision corrects grammatical errors and clarifies the meaning, making it more formal and precise.
"I often take part in these sessions in my weekends with my friends." -> "I regularly participate in these sessions on weekends with my friends."
Explanation: "Regularly participate in these sessions on weekends with my friends" replaces the informal "often take part in these sessions in my weekends" with a more formal and precise expression.
"However, they are not very frequently organised, it’s just around every 2 months." -> "However, they are not frequently organized, typically occurring every two months."
Explanation: "Not frequently organized, typically occurring every two months" corrects the grammatical errors and uses more formal vocabulary.
"Trees absorb oxygen, reduce amount of cacbordioxide in the air." -> "Trees absorb oxygen, reducing the amount of carbon dioxide in the air."
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error "cacbordioxide" to "carbon dioxide" and changes "reduce amount of" to "reducing the amount of" for grammatical correctness and formality.
"Moreover, trees are important factor to control the climate." -> "Furthermore, trees are an important factor in controlling the climate."
Explanation: "Furthermore, trees are an important factor in controlling the climate" corrects the grammatical error and enhances the formality of the sentence.
"Inconclusion, planting trees is an easy and effective way to me to aid the environment." -> "In conclusion, planting trees is an accessible and effective method for me to contribute to environmental conservation."
Explanation: "In conclusion, planting trees is an accessible and effective method for me to contribute to environmental conservation" corrects the grammatical error and uses more formal language, improving the academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by identifying a specific activity—planting trees—that the writer engages in to help protect the environment. However, it lacks depth in explaining how this activity contributes to environmental protection. For instance, while the writer mentions the benefits of trees, they do not elaborate on how their personal involvement in this activity makes a difference or how it connects to broader environmental issues.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the writer should provide more detailed explanations about the impact of their actions. For example, they could discuss the significance of community involvement in tree planting or provide statistics on how tree planting contributes to reducing carbon footprints. Additionally, including personal anecdotes or experiences from the volunteer sessions could enrich the narrative.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position on the importance of planting trees as a means to protect the environment. However, the position could be more consistently reinforced throughout the essay. The phrase "to aid the environment" is somewhat vague and could be more explicitly linked to the writer’s personal commitment and the broader implications of their actions.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that their position is clear in every paragraph. This can be achieved by restating the importance of their chosen activity in relation to environmental protection at the beginning and end of the essay. Using transitional phrases to connect ideas will also help maintain a consistent stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas about the benefits of planting trees, such as oxygen absorption and climate control. However, these ideas are not fully extended or supported with sufficient detail. For example, the mention of "preventing landslide when there are storms or floods" is a significant point but lacks explanation or examples that could illustrate its importance.
- How to improve: To improve this area, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. They could include specific examples of how tree planting has benefited their local community or cite studies that support the claims about the environmental benefits of trees. Additionally, discussing challenges faced during tree planting or the reactions of community members could provide a more rounded perspective.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on tree planting as a regular activity to protect the environment. However, there are moments where the writing becomes slightly disjointed, such as the abrupt transition between discussing the frequency of volunteer sessions and the benefits of trees. This can distract from the main focus of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain better focus, the writer should ensure that each sentence logically flows from one to the next. Using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader and reinforce the main idea. Additionally, avoiding unnecessary tangents and sticking closely to the activity described will help keep the essay on track.

Overall, the essay needs to be expanded to meet the word count requirement and to provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt. By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance the clarity, depth, and effectiveness of their essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear main idea about the importance of planting trees as a means of protecting the environment. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the subsequent paragraphs provide supporting details about the author’s personal involvement and the benefits of tree planting. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the frequency of volunteer sessions to the benefits of trees feels abrupt and lacks a clear linking sentence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that connect ideas more fluidly. For example, after discussing the frequency of volunteer sessions, a sentence like "Despite the infrequency of these sessions, I believe that the impact of planting trees is significant" could bridge the two ideas more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is structured into paragraphs, which is a positive aspect. However, the paragraphing could be more effective. The first paragraph introduces the topic, while the second paragraph discusses the author’s activities. The final paragraph attempts to summarize the benefits of tree planting but does not clearly delineate it as a separate idea. This can lead to confusion about the main points being made.
- How to improve: Consider breaking the essay into clearer, more defined paragraphs. For instance, one paragraph could focus solely on the author’s personal experience with volunteering, while another could detail the environmental benefits of tree planting. This would help readers follow the argument more easily and provide a clearer structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Moreover" and "In addition," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "However, they are not very frequently organised" could be better linked to the previous sentence to clarify the relationship between the frequency of sessions and the author’s commitment.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "Furthermore," "On the other hand," or "Consequently" can enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one, perhaps by using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially increasing its band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to environmental protection, such as "planting trees," "volunteer organizations," and "absorb oxygen." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety and depth. For instance, phrases like "aid the environment" and "great home" are somewhat generic and could be replaced with more specific or sophisticated terms to enhance the essay’s overall quality.
- How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, consider incorporating synonyms and more varied expressions. For example, instead of saying "aid the environment," you could use "contribute to environmental sustainability" or "support ecological preservation." Additionally, exploring terms related to environmental science, such as "biodiversity," "carbon footprint," or "ecosystem," would enrich the vocabulary used in the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used correctly, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "reduce amount of cacbordioxide" contains a spelling error ("cacbordioxide" should be "carbon dioxide") and lacks the article "the" before "amount." Furthermore, the phrase "important factor to control the climate" could be more accurately expressed as "an important factor in regulating the climate."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, ensure that vocabulary is not only correct but also contextually appropriate. Review the essay for articles, prepositions, and other grammatical elements that can affect clarity. Additionally, using a thesaurus to find more precise words can help. For example, instead of "important," consider using "crucial" or "vital" to convey a stronger sense of significance.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "cacbordioxide" and "Inconclusion," which should be "carbon dioxide" and "In conclusion," respectively. These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can lead to misunderstandings.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, it is advisable to proofread the essay multiple times, focusing specifically on commonly misspelled words. Utilizing spell-check tools or apps can also be beneficial. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or flashcards can help reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary related to environmental protection, there is significant room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("Protecting the environment is an important responsibility of people.") and compound sentences ("I often take part in these sessions in my weekends with my friends."). However, the range is limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing and repetitive structures. For example, the phrase "the way for me to protect my ‘great home’" could be restructured for clarity and impact. The use of phrases like "where often arrange volunteer sessions" lacks proper subject-verb agreement and clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of "I choose planting trees as the way for me to protect my ‘great home’," you could say, "I believe that planting trees is one of the most effective ways to protect my ‘great home’." Additionally, using different sentence openings (e.g., starting with adverbial phrases) can help diversify the writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "where often arrange volunteer sessions to plan trees for locals where still have bare lands" is grammatically incorrect and confusing. The phrase "reduce amount of cacbordioxide in the air" is missing an article ("the") and contains a spelling error ("cacbordioxide" should be "carbon dioxide"). Furthermore, the sentence "However, they are not very frequently organised, it’s just around every 2 months" is a run-on sentence that should be separated for clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Proofreading for spelling errors is also essential; using tools like spell check or grammar check can help identify these mistakes. Additionally, practice writing complex sentences and ensure proper punctuation, especially with commas and conjunctions to avoid run-on sentences. For instance, the sentence could be revised to: "However, they are not organized very frequently; in fact, they occur only about every two months."

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Protecting the environment is a significant responsibility of individuals. Each person also selects a modest approach to contribute to environmental conservation. Personally, I opt for tree planting as a means of protecting my ‘great home’. In Hanoi, numerous volunteer organizations frequently organize sessions to plant trees in areas with vacant land for local residents. I regularly participate in these sessions on weekends with my friends. However, they are not frequently organized, typically occurring every two months.

Planting trees is an effective way to protect the environment. Trees absorb oxygen, reducing the amount of carbon dioxide in the air. Moreover, trees are an important factor in controlling the climate. Additionally, forests play a crucial role in preventing landslides during storms or floods.

In conclusion, planting trees is an accessible and effective method for me to contribute to environmental conservation.