Describe a subject you enjoyed studying at school.

Describe a subject you enjoyed studying at school.

Well, today I'm gonna talk about chemistry – my favorite subject at school.
I started learning this subject when I was in grade 8 but only in grade 9, I just liked it. When the first time I had to learn chemistry, It made me feel despondent because of its arduousness, I couldn't understand even simple things such as chemical properties, equilibria or chemical equations. However, thanks to my mother, in the summer of grade 9, I had a taste in it. The first step is always the hardest but by my mother’s encouragements. I was more and more self–assured and believe myself. I had also chosen chemistry as a major subject to enter some of the best schools in my country and in my hometown but I think I was not ready enough and lacked a little luck to realize my dream although I was in search of the source of many information about references and the exams of the previous year and I joined in some chemistry specialized class to broaden my knowledge. Until today, although chemistry is still my preference, I still feel regretful and disappointed.
Another thing I want to talk about the reason why I love Chemistry is it enables me to know lots of things about the environment and humans. I can understand the Natural World because it helps explain the composition and behaviour of matter, providing insights into the world around us. It also allows to raise environmental awareness and create career opportunities.
In summary, learning chemistry enriches knowledge and skills applicable to personal and professional life, fostering a deeper appreciation for science and its impacts on society.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Well, today I’m gonna talk about chemistry – my favorite subject at school." -> "Today, I will discuss chemistry, my preferred subject at school."
   Explanation: Replacing "Well, today I’m gonna" with "Today, I will discuss" removes informal contractions and colloquial language, making the introduction more formal and suitable for an academic context.

2. "I started learning this subject when I was in grade 8 but only in grade 9, I just liked it." -> "I began studying this subject in grade 8, but it wasn’t until grade 9 that I developed an interest in it."
   Explanation: "Started learning" is replaced with "began studying" for a more formal tone, and "just liked it" is replaced with "developed an interest in it" to provide a more precise description of the change in attitude.

3. "When the first time I had to learn chemistry, It made me feel despondent because of its arduousness, I couldn’t understand even simple things such as chemical properties, equilibria or chemical equations." -> "When I first encountered chemistry, I felt despondent due to its complexity, struggling to comprehend even basic concepts such as chemical properties, equilibria, and chemical equations."
   Explanation: "When the first time I had to learn chemistry" is corrected to "When I first encountered chemistry" for grammatical accuracy. "Arduousness" is replaced with "complexity" for a more precise academic term. "I couldn’t understand even simple things" is replaced with "struggling to comprehend even basic concepts" to enhance the formal tone and clarity.

4. "thanks to my mother, in the summer of grade 9, I had a taste in it." -> "thanks to my mother, during the summer of grade 9, I developed an interest in it."
   Explanation: "Had a taste in it" is replaced with "developed an interest in it" to use more formal language and to better convey the idea of gaining interest in the subject.

5. "The first step is always the hardest but by my mother’s encouragements." -> "The initial step is often the most challenging, but with my mother’s encouragement."
   Explanation: "The first step is always the hardest" is rephrased to "The initial step is often the most challenging" for a more formal tone. "By my mother’s encouragements" is corrected to "with my mother’s encouragement" for grammatical accuracy and formality.

6. "I was more and more self–assured and believe myself." -> "I became increasingly self-assured and confident in myself."
   Explanation: "More and more self–assured and believe myself" is corrected to "became increasingly self-assured and confident in myself" for grammatical correctness and to enhance the formality of the statement.

7. "I had also chosen chemistry as a major subject to enter some of the best schools in my country and in my hometown but I think I was not ready enough and lacked a little luck to realize my dream" -> "I had also selected chemistry as a major subject to gain admission to some of the top schools in my country and hometown, but I believe I was not adequately prepared and lacked sufficient luck to achieve my goal."
   Explanation: "Chosen chemistry as a major subject" is replaced with "selected chemistry as a major subject" for a more formal tone. "Not ready enough and lacked a little luck" is replaced with "not adequately prepared and lacked sufficient luck" for a more precise and formal expression.

8. "I was in search of the source of many information about references and the exams of the previous year and I joined in some chemistry specialized class to broaden my knowledge." -> "I sought information on various references and past exams to enhance my understanding, and I enrolled in specialized chemistry classes to broaden my knowledge."
   Explanation: "In search of the source of many information about references" is corrected to "sought information on various references" for grammatical accuracy and clarity. "Joined in some chemistry specialized class" is replaced with "enrolled in specialized chemistry classes" for a more formal and precise expression.

9. "Until today, although chemistry is still my preference, I still feel regretful and disappointed." -> "To this day, despite chemistry remaining my preferred subject, I still experience regret and disappointment."
   Explanation: "Until today" is replaced with "To this day" for a more formal expression. "Feel regretful and disappointed" is replaced with "experience regret and disappointment" for a more formal and precise description of emotions.

10. "Another thing I want to talk about the reason why I love Chemistry is it enables me to know lots of things about the environment and humans." -> "Another aspect I wish to discuss is that chemistry allows me to gain knowledge about the environment and human health."
    Explanation: "Another thing I want to talk about the reason why I love Chemistry" is rephrased to "Another aspect I wish to discuss is that chemistry allows me to gain knowledge about" to improve the formal structure and clarity of the sentence. "Know lots of things" is replaced with "gain knowledge" for a more formal and precise expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the subject of chemistry, detailing the writer’s initial struggles and eventual enjoyment of the subject. However, while the essay touches on personal experiences and insights gained from studying chemistry, it could benefit from a more structured approach to fully explore the reasons for enjoyment. For instance, the essay mentions the environmental awareness gained from chemistry but does not elaborate on specific instances or applications that illustrate this point.
  • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should include more specific examples of what aspects of chemistry were enjoyable and how they impacted their understanding of the world. Adding anecdotes or particular topics within chemistry that were particularly engaging could enhance the depth of the response.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position regarding the enjoyment of chemistry, particularly in the latter part where the writer discusses its relevance to understanding the environment and human behavior. However, the initial part of the essay introduces some confusion with phrases like "I just liked it" and "I think I was not ready enough," which could lead to ambiguity about the writer’s overall stance on chemistry.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should avoid ambiguous language and ensure that the narrative flows logically. A stronger thesis statement at the beginning would help set the tone and clarify the writer’s enthusiasm for chemistry from the outset.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas about chemistry, such as personal struggles, the role of the mother in fostering interest, and the subject’s relevance to environmental awareness. However, these ideas are not always well-extended or supported. For example, the mention of "career opportunities" is introduced but not elaborated upon, leaving the reader wanting more detail on how chemistry can lead to specific careers.
  • How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. For instance, discussing specific careers related to chemistry or detailing how chemistry contributes to environmental solutions would provide stronger support for the claims made. Utilizing examples or case studies could also enhance the depth of the discussion.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on chemistry as the subject of enjoyment. However, there are moments where the narrative strays slightly, particularly when discussing feelings of regret and disappointment. While these feelings are relevant to the personal experience, they detract from the primary focus of the essay, which is to describe the enjoyment of studying chemistry.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the writer should limit digressions into negative feelings unless they are directly tied to the enjoyment of the subject. It may be beneficial to frame any regrets in a way that emphasizes how they have contributed to a deeper appreciation of chemistry, thus reinforcing the overall positive narrative.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a clear enjoyment of chemistry, it would benefit from more specific examples, a clearer position, better-supported ideas, and a tighter focus on the topic. By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear progression of thoughts regarding the subject of chemistry. It begins with a personal anecdote about the initial struggles with the subject, transitions into the support received from the mother, and concludes with the broader implications of studying chemistry. However, the organization could be improved; for instance, the transition between discussing personal experiences and the broader benefits of chemistry feels abrupt. The essay lacks clear topic sentences in some paragraphs, which would help guide the reader through the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, after discussing personal struggles, a sentence could bridge to the benefits of chemistry by stating how overcoming those struggles led to a deeper appreciation of the subject.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs but could benefit from clearer separation of ideas. The first paragraph combines personal experience with future aspirations, which can confuse the reader. The second paragraph introduces new ideas about the environmental impact of chemistry without a clear transition from the previous thoughts.
  • How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Consider breaking the first paragraph into two: one focusing on personal experiences and struggles, and the other on aspirations and achievements in chemistry. This will help maintain clarity and allow the reader to follow the narrative more easily.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "another thing," and "in summary," which help connect ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "thanks to my mother" could be better integrated into the narrative to enhance the flow.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," and "consequently." Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used to clarify relationships between ideas. For instance, when transitioning from personal struggles to the broader implications of chemistry, using phrases like "this experience not only helped me personally but also highlighted…" would create a smoother connection.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the subject of chemistry, such as "chemical properties," "equilibria," and "environmental awareness." However, the overall vocabulary usage is somewhat limited and repetitive. Phrases like "my favorite subject" and "I love Chemistry" are used multiple times without variation, which detracts from the overall lexical richness.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "favorite subject," you could use "preferred discipline" or "area of interest." Additionally, incorporating more academic or subject-specific terminology could elevate the essay’s lexical sophistication.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used correctly, there are instances of imprecise usage that can confuse the reader. For example, the phrase "the first step is always the hardest but by my mother’s encouragements" is awkwardly constructed. The term "encouragements" is not commonly used in this context; "encouragement" would be more appropriate. Furthermore, "I had a taste in it" is an imprecise expression; "I developed an interest in it" would convey the intended meaning more clearly.
  • How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended meaning. Practice rephrasing sentences to improve clarity. For instance, instead of "I couldn’t understand even simple things," you might say, "I struggled to grasp even the fundamental concepts." This not only improves precision but also enhances the overall flow of the essay.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "arduousness" (which is correct) but "encouragements" (incorrect form) and "self–assured" (should be "self-assured"). Additionally, "in search of the source of many information" should be "many sources of information." These errors can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a break and then review the essay with fresh eyes, focusing specifically on spelling and grammar. Utilizing spell-check tools or apps can also help catch errors before submission. Regular reading and writing practice can further enhance spelling skills by familiarizing you with correct forms.

By addressing these areas, you can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource for future IELTS essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For instance, simple sentences like "I started learning this subject when I was in grade 8" are used alongside more complex structures, such as "I had also chosen chemistry as a major subject to enter some of the best schools in my country." However, the essay relies heavily on straightforward sentence forms, leading to a somewhat repetitive style. There are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "the first time I had to learn chemistry," which could be more fluidly expressed.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences and varied clause types. For example, combining ideas using subordinate clauses can enhance the flow. Instead of saying, "I was more and more self-assured and believe myself," the writer could say, "As I became more self-assured, I began to believe in myself." Additionally, using conditional sentences or participial phrases could add depth to the writing.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For instance, "I just liked it" is vague and could be more effectively expressed. The phrase "thanks to my mother, in the summer of grade 9, I had a taste in it" is awkwardly constructed; "had a taste in it" is not a standard expression. Furthermore, there are punctuation errors, such as the comma splice in "When the first time I had to learn chemistry, It made me feel despondent." The use of "It" should be lowercase, and the sentence could be restructured for clarity.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and proper tense usage. For example, "I was not ready enough" could be improved to "I was not adequately prepared." To address punctuation, the writer should review rules regarding comma usage, particularly in complex sentences. Practicing sentence combining and editing exercises can also help in recognizing and correcting these errors.

Overall, while the essay conveys a personal reflection on the subject of chemistry, focusing on improving sentence variety and grammatical accuracy will significantly enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Well, today I will discuss chemistry, my preferred subject at school. I began studying this subject in grade 8, but it wasn’t until grade 9 that I developed an interest in it. When I first encountered chemistry, I felt despondent due to its complexity, struggling to comprehend even basic concepts such as chemical properties, equilibria, and chemical equations. However, thanks to my mother, during the summer of grade 9, I developed a genuine interest in it. The initial step is often the most challenging, but with my mother’s encouragement, I became increasingly self-assured and confident in myself.

I had also selected chemistry as a major subject to gain admission to some of the top schools in my country and hometown. However, I believe I was not adequately prepared and lacked sufficient luck to achieve my goal. I sought information from various references and past exams to enhance my understanding, and I enrolled in specialized chemistry classes to broaden my knowledge. To this day, despite chemistry remaining my preferred subject, I still experience regret and disappointment.

Another aspect I wish to discuss is that chemistry allows me to gain knowledge about the environment and human health. I can understand the natural world better because it helps explain the composition and behavior of matter, providing insights into the world around us. It also raises environmental awareness and creates career opportunities.

In summary, learning chemistry enriches my knowledge and skills applicable to both personal and professional life, fostering a deeper appreciation for science and its impacts on society.