Despite better access to education, many adults today still can not read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

In the contemporary era, with the advancement of education, there still remain many people who do not have the ability of writing and reading. This essay discusses the drawbacks and gives several solutions to tackle this problem.
There are numerous disadvantages of illiteracy. To begin with, the most obvious is the limited knowledge of residents. Indeed, reading is the most efficient and easiest way to access news and resources; therefore people who can not read or write may lose various valuable materials, leading to a significant knowledge gap . For example, they will miss out on abundant news and rights that have been updated recently. Furthermore, illiterate individuals face a large number of barriers in their life . Since reading or writing skills play a crucial and essential role in working effectively to reach a number of achievements. Therefore, they will struggle with their financial problems if they can not read or write. To illustrate, many companies tend to require a degree and a qualification to hire for working, they have fewer opportunities than other residents.
In order to address this issue, the government needs to propose a number of solutions. Initially, the policy should give different ways for illiterate individuals to update news without reading any information. For instance, the government ought to invest in TV programmes and radios to allow these residents to understand important reports easily by listening. Another way is the amount of the government fundings to open various classes which teach how to read and write for people not knowing them. Thus, with fluency reading and writing, they can study with higher degrees, which provide them with a stable work and life. Such as Vietnamese classes in 1954, helping people understand reading and writing to remove this problem, which are considered as a path for the economic growth in the future for not only a person but also this country.
In conclusion, the lack of radical skills like reading and writing brings numerous demerits including the huge gap of knowledge and having an unstable life. Hence the government should spend more money on programmes accessible by ears without reading and hold a lot of classes offering ways to read and write.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the ability of writing and reading" -> "the ability to write and read"
Explanation: The phrase "the ability of writing and reading" is grammatically incorrect. The correct form is "the ability to write and read," which is grammatically correct and more formal.
"This essay discusses" -> "This essay explores"
Explanation: "Discusses" is somewhat vague and can imply a superficial examination. "Explores" suggests a more in-depth analysis, which is more suitable for academic writing.
"gives several solutions to tackle this problem" -> "offers several solutions to address this issue"
Explanation: "Tackle" is somewhat informal and can be replaced with "address," which is more precise and formal. Additionally, "issue" is preferred over "problem" in academic contexts to convey a more neutral tone.
"the most obvious is the limited knowledge of residents" -> "the most evident is the limited knowledge of residents"
Explanation: "Obvious" can imply a lack of subtlety, which may not be the intended meaning. "Evident" is more neutral and appropriate for academic writing, suggesting that the limitation is clear but not necessarily obvious.
"the most efficient and easiest way" -> "the most efficient and simplest way"
Explanation: "Easiest" is somewhat informal and less precise than "simplest," which is more commonly used in formal academic contexts to describe methods or processes.
"can not" -> "cannot"
Explanation: "Can not" is grammatically incorrect. "Cannot" is the correct form of the contraction for "cannot."
"a large number of barriers" -> "numerous barriers"
Explanation: "A large number of" is redundant and less formal. "Numerous" is more concise and appropriate for academic writing.
"play a crucial and essential role" -> "play a crucial role"
Explanation: "Essential" is redundant when used with "crucial." "Crucial" alone is sufficient to convey the importance, and it maintains the formal tone better.
"they will struggle with their financial problems" -> "they will face financial difficulties"
Explanation: "Struggle with their financial problems" is somewhat informal and vague. "Face financial difficulties" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.
"give different ways for illiterate individuals to update news" -> "provide alternative methods for illiterate individuals to access news"
Explanation: "Give different ways" is informal and vague. "Provide alternative methods" is more specific and formal, suitable for an academic context.
"the amount of the government fundings" -> "the allocation of government funding"
Explanation: "The amount of the government fundings" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "The allocation of government funding" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"open various classes which teach how to read and write" -> "establish various classes that teach reading and writing"
Explanation: "Open" is less formal and specific than "establish," which implies a more formal and structured approach. Also, "teach how to read and write" can be simplified to "teach reading and writing" for clarity and formality.
"Such as Vietnamese classes in 1954" -> "For example, the Vietnamese literacy classes of 1954"
Explanation: "Such as" is informal and vague. "For example" is more appropriate in academic writing, and specifying "the Vietnamese literacy classes of 1954" provides a clear and specific example.
"which are considered as a path for the economic growth" -> "which are considered a pathway for economic growth"
Explanation: "Considered as a path" is grammatically incorrect. "Considered a pathway" corrects this and enhances the formality of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the disadvantages of illiteracy and proposing solutions that governments can implement. The disadvantages are outlined clearly, such as the limited access to information and employment opportunities. However, the discussion could be more comprehensive, as it primarily focuses on knowledge gaps and financial struggles without exploring other potential disadvantages, such as social isolation or reduced civic engagement.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, consider expanding on the range of disadvantages faced by illiterate adults. This could include discussing the impact on personal relationships, health literacy, or participation in community activities. Additionally, ensure that the solutions proposed are varied and innovative, possibly including digital literacy programs or partnerships with non-profit organizations.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that illiteracy is a significant issue that needs addressing. The stance is consistent, as the author emphasizes the need for government intervention throughout the essay. However, the transition between discussing disadvantages and solutions could be smoother to reinforce the connection between the two sections.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, use transitional phrases that explicitly link the disadvantages to the proposed solutions. For example, after discussing the disadvantages, you could state, "To mitigate these challenges, it is crucial for the government to implement targeted solutions."
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the disadvantages of illiteracy and potential solutions. However, the support for these ideas could be more robust. For instance, while the author mentions investing in TV programs and classes, these suggestions could benefit from further elaboration on how they would be implemented or their expected outcomes.
- How to improve: To improve the development and support of ideas, provide specific examples or data to back up claims. For instance, you could reference successful literacy programs from other countries or studies that show the benefits of literacy on economic growth. This would add depth to the argument and demonstrate a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the disadvantages of illiteracy and the role of government in addressing these issues. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more focused, such as the reference to Vietnamese classes in 1954, which feels somewhat disconnected from the main argument and lacks context.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all examples and references directly relate to the current context of the discussion. If historical examples are used, provide a brief explanation of their relevance to the present situation. Additionally, avoid introducing new ideas or examples that do not directly support the main argument, as this can distract from the overall coherence of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a clear argument, but it could benefit from deeper analysis, more robust support for ideas, and improved coherence in transitions.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing disadvantages and solutions, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the disadvantages of illiteracy to the solutions provided by the government lacks a smooth connection. The phrase "In order to address this issue" serves as a transition, but it could be more effectively linked to the preceding content to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit transitional phrases that connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the disadvantages, you might summarize the key points before introducing the solutions, such as "Given these significant challenges, it is imperative for the government to take action." This would create a more cohesive narrative throughout the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with one paragraph dedicated to disadvantages and another to solutions. However, the internal structure of some paragraphs could be improved. For example, the first body paragraph contains multiple ideas that could be better organized. The mention of "limited knowledge" and "financial problems" could be separated into distinct sentences or even paragraphs to clarify the points being made.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples. Consider starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point. For instance, the first body paragraph could start with "One major disadvantage of illiteracy is the limited access to information," followed by supporting details and examples. This will enhance clarity and make the argument more persuasive.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "To begin with," "Furthermore," and "In order to address this issue." However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some sentences could benefit from clearer connections. For example, the phrase "leading to a significant knowledge gap" could be better integrated with the preceding sentence to clarify the cause-and-effect relationship.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, try incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, use "Moreover" or "In addition" to introduce new points, and consider using "Consequently" or "As a result" to indicate the outcomes of certain actions. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to enhance clarity. For instance, rephrasing sentences to explicitly show how one idea leads to another can strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately improving the overall quality of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "illiteracy," "disadvantages," "barriers," and "economic growth." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "reading and writing" and "illiterate individuals." The use of synonyms or varied expressions could enhance the essay’s lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader range of vocabulary. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "illiterate individuals," alternatives like "those lacking literacy skills" or "functionally illiterate adults" could be employed. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs would enrich the text.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the ability of writing and reading" could be more accurately expressed as "the ability to read and write." Furthermore, the term "various valuable materials" is vague; it would be clearer to specify what types of materials are being referred to, such as "educational resources" or "informational texts."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. For example, instead of "a large number of barriers," the writer could specify the types of barriers faced, such as "employment barriers" or "access to information barriers." Regularly consulting a thesaurus or vocabulary lists related to common IELTS topics can also help in selecting more precise words.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "can not" (should be "cannot"), "fundings" (should be "funding"), and "fluency reading" (should be "fluent reading"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should practice proofreading their work before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them regularly can aid in reducing spelling mistakes in future essays.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, enhancing vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy will contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "Since reading or writing skills play a crucial and essential role in working effectively to reach a number of achievements." However, there are instances where sentence structures are repetitive or overly simplistic, such as "the most obvious is the limited knowledge of residents" and "therefore people who can not read or write may lose various valuable materials." The essay could benefit from more varied sentence openings and the integration of more sophisticated structures.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice using different sentence types and varying sentence beginnings. For example, they could start sentences with adverbial clauses or phrases, such as "Despite the advancements in education, many individuals remain illiterate." Additionally, incorporating relative clauses and participial phrases can enhance complexity and engagement.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a moderate level of grammatical accuracy, but there are several notable errors. For instance, the phrase "can not" should be written as "cannot," and "the amount of the government fundings" should be corrected to "the amount of government funding." Punctuation errors are also present, such as the misuse of commas in sentences like "To illustrate, many companies tend to require a degree and a qualification to hire for working," where the comma before "to hire for working" is unnecessary. These errors can disrupt the flow and clarity of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on common grammatical rules, such as the correct usage of contractions and plural forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises and proofreading for common errors can help. For punctuation, the writer should review comma usage rules, particularly in complex sentences, to ensure clarity and correctness. Reading well-edited texts can also provide a model for proper punctuation and grammar.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary era, with the advancement of education, there still remain many people who do not have the ability to read and write. This essay explores the drawbacks of illiteracy and offers several solutions to address this issue.

There are numerous disadvantages of illiteracy. To begin with, the most evident is the limited knowledge of residents. Indeed, reading is the most efficient and simplest way to access news and resources; therefore, people who cannot read or write may lose various valuable materials, leading to a significant knowledge gap. For example, they will miss out on abundant news and rights that have been updated recently. Furthermore, illiterate individuals face numerous barriers in their lives since reading and writing skills play a crucial role in working effectively to achieve a number of accomplishments. Therefore, they will face financial difficulties if they cannot read or write. To illustrate, many companies tend to require a degree and qualifications to hire workers, which means they have fewer opportunities than other residents.

In order to address this issue, the government needs to propose a number of solutions. Initially, the policy should provide alternative methods for illiterate individuals to access news without reading any information. For instance, the government ought to invest in TV programs and radios to allow these residents to understand important reports easily by listening. Another way is the allocation of government funding to establish various classes that teach reading and writing for people who do not know these skills. Thus, with fluency in reading and writing, they can pursue higher degrees, which provide them with a stable job and life. For example, the Vietnamese literacy classes of 1954 helped people learn to read and write, which are considered a pathway for economic growth in the future, not only for individuals but also for the country.

In conclusion, the lack of essential skills like reading and writing brings numerous disadvantages, including a significant knowledge gap and an unstable life. Hence, the government should allocate more funding to programs accessible by listening and hold many classes that offer ways to read and write.