Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The negative impacts of improvements in technology on the environment has always remained a topic of interest.While living simpler is the solution for some people, I believe that the introduction of technology devices is one of the most relevant factors to tackle these persistent issues.
To begin with, it is believed that individuals need to live a simple life and less rely on technology. One suggestion promotes citizens to use public transports. This is because the number of private vehicles are increasingly manufactured and in use, which causes a high level of exhaust fumes making air pollution becoming serious. This solution needs a wide range consciousness of public and government action, though numerous restrictions on the over-using of high-tech in businesses and individuals are given. However, the policy of limiting consumption of advanced equipments can be affected country’s economy and stability as technology is regarded as flourished GPA in
On the other hand, I believe that automation drives great chances for the survival of our eco-systems. Technology can generate electricity from alternative resources, which raises a prospect of a renewable era. For example, the consumption of solar energy, wind and wave power have been recently developed, especially in some Western countries,to minimize pressures on non-renewable resources such as coal and fuel. Furthermore, tons of high-tech appliances are produced with the aim of tackling environmental problems without human need which is more time-saving and efficient. For instance, the introduction of auto purification systems which are set in a variety of polluted lakes have witnessed considerable changes in regions.
In conclusion, technology brings both negative and positive effects, nevertheless I would argue that the development of innovative devices remains an enormous role in the comprehension of a country.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The negative impacts of improvements in technology on the environment has always remained a topic of interest." -> "The negative impacts of technological advancements on the environment have consistently been a topic of interest."
Explanation: Changing "has always remained" to "have consistently been" corrects the verb tense to match the present context, and "technological advancements" is a more precise term than "improvements in technology," enhancing the academic tone.
"While living simpler is the solution for some people, I believe that the introduction of technology devices is one of the most relevant factors to tackle these persistent issues." -> "While a simpler lifestyle is a solution for some, I contend that the introduction of technological devices is a crucial factor in addressing these persistent issues."
Explanation: "A simpler lifestyle" is more specific than "living simpler," and "I contend" is a more assertive and formal expression than "I believe." Additionally, "crucial factor" is more precise than "most relevant factor."
"One suggestion promotes citizens to use public transports." -> "One suggestion encourages citizens to use public transportation."
Explanation: "Encourages" is more formal than "promotes," and "public transportation" is the correct term, not "public transports."
"the number of private vehicles are increasingly manufactured and in use" -> "the increasing number of private vehicles in use"
Explanation: Simplifying "the number of private vehicles are increasingly manufactured and in use" to "the increasing number of private vehicles in use" improves clarity and conciseness.
"making air pollution becoming serious" -> "resulting in serious air pollution"
Explanation: "Resulting in" is a more direct and formal way to express causality than "making become."
"This solution needs a wide range consciousness of public and government action" -> "This solution requires widespread public and governmental awareness"
Explanation: "Requires widespread public and governmental awareness" is more precise and formal than "needs a wide range consciousness."
"the policy of limiting consumption of advanced equipments" -> "the policy of limiting the use of advanced equipment"
Explanation: "Limiting the use of advanced equipment" is grammatically correct and more formal than "limiting consumption of advanced equipments."
"technology is regarded as flourished GPA in" -> "technology is considered a flourishing aspect of GDP"
Explanation: "A flourishing aspect of GDP" is a clearer and more accurate description than "flourished GPA in," which is grammatically incorrect and unclear.
"automation drives great chances for the survival of our eco-systems" -> "automation offers significant opportunities for the survival of our ecosystems"
Explanation: "Offers significant opportunities" is more precise and formal than "drives great chances," and "ecosystems" is the correct plural form.
"to minimize pressures on non-renewable resources such as coal and fuel" -> "to reduce the reliance on non-renewable resources such as coal and fuel"
Explanation: "Reduce the reliance on" is a more precise and formal way to express the reduction of dependence on resources.
"tons of high-tech appliances are produced with the aim of tackling environmental problems without human need which is more time-saving and efficient." -> "numerous high-tech appliances are designed to address environmental issues without human intervention, which is more efficient and time-saving."
Explanation: "Numerous" is more precise than "tons," and "designed to address" is more formal than "produced with the aim of tackling." Additionally, "without human intervention" is clearer than "without human need."
"the introduction of auto purification systems which are set in a variety of polluted lakes have witnessed considerable changes in regions." -> "the introduction of automated purification systems in various polluted lakes has witnessed significant changes in the regions."
Explanation: "Automated purification systems" is more specific and formal than "auto purification systems," and "has witnessed significant changes" is grammatically correct and more formal than "have witnessed considerable changes."
"technology brings both negative and positive effects, nevertheless I would argue that the development of innovative devices remains an enormous role in the comprehension of a country." -> "technology yields both negative and positive effects, yet I contend that the development of innovative devices plays a significant role in a country’s comprehension."
Explanation: "Yields" is more formal than "brings," and "plays a significant role" is more precise than "remains an enormous role." Additionally, "a country’s comprehension" is more specific and formal than "the comprehension of a country."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both perspectives—living simpler lives versus relying on technology to solve environmental problems. It acknowledges both viewpoints but leans towards the importance of technology.
- The essay discusses living simpler as a solution, focusing on reducing reliance on private vehicles and advocating for public transport. It also mentions potential economic impacts of limiting technology use. However, it could elaborate more on societal changes needed to support simpler living.
- It presents technology as pivotal in environmental solutions, citing examples like renewable energy sources and automated purification systems. It effectively argues for the role of technology in addressing environmental challenges.
- How to improve: To enhance the score, ensure each viewpoint is explored in more depth. For the "simpler lives" perspective, discuss broader lifestyle changes beyond transportation. For the technology perspective, provide additional specific examples and explore potential drawbacks of technological solutions.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position favoring technology as a solution to environmental problems.
- It consistently argues that technology offers viable solutions such as renewable energy and automated purification systems.
- The position is clear and supported with examples throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To strengthen clarity, ensure every paragraph reinforces the stance on technology’s role in addressing environmental issues. Consider addressing potential counterarguments to demonstrate a nuanced understanding while maintaining a clear position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented but could benefit from more elaboration and coherence.
- The essay introduces ideas such as public transport and economic impacts of limiting technology, but these are briefly discussed.
- Technology-driven solutions like renewable energy and purification systems are supported with examples, but additional details on their effectiveness and broader implications could strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: Extend discussions on each idea to provide deeper analysis. Elaborate on the effectiveness and feasibility of proposed solutions, linking them explicitly to environmental benefits. Use specific data or studies to substantiate claims and strengthen arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but occasionally drifts into tangential discussions.
- While discussing simpler living and technology, the essay occasionally touches on economic impacts and global perspectives.
- It could maintain tighter focus on directly addressing each perspective outlined in the prompt.
- How to improve: Focus on directly addressing each part of the prompt without veering into unrelated topics. Ensure each paragraph contributes directly to discussing either living simpler or relying on technology to solve environmental problems.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt with a clear stance and relevant examples. To improve, it should deepen the exploration of each perspective, strengthen the coherence of ideas, and maintain strict relevance to the topic throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt to organize information logically by presenting two contrasting views on the impact of technology on the environment. The introduction sets the stage by outlining the two perspectives, followed by body paragraphs that delve into each viewpoint. For instance, it starts with the view advocating for simpler lifestyles and then transitions into the counterargument supporting technological solutions. However, transitions between these ideas could be smoother, as the shift from discussing living simpler to promoting technology solutions feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider refining the transition between paragraphs and ensuring each paragraph maintains a cohesive focus on its main idea. Introducing a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relates to the thesis (introduction) would help guide the reader through the essay more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to separate different arguments and viewpoints. Each paragraph generally focuses on a single aspect of the argument, such as the negative impacts of technology or the benefits of technological solutions. However, paragraph structure could be more consistent; some paragraphs tend to be overly lengthy, which can obscure the main points and lessen clarity.
- How to improve: Aim for more consistent paragraph length and structure. Break longer paragraphs into smaller ones to ensure each paragraph covers a single main idea or argument. This approach not only improves readability but also helps maintain focus and coherence within each paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as transitions (e.g., "To begin with," "Furthermore," "In conclusion") and pronouns ("This," "These"). These devices generally help connect ideas within sentences and paragraphs. However, the variety and effectiveness of cohesive devices could be enhanced. There is a tendency to rely on basic transitional phrases without fully exploring more sophisticated cohesive devices that could strengthen the logical connections between ideas.
- How to improve: Introduce a wider range of cohesive devices, such as synonyms, parallel structures, and more varied transition words. This will help create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs, thereby improving the overall coherence of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a structured approach to addressing the prompt with clearly defined viewpoints and arguments, there is room for improvement in enhancing the logical organization, refining paragraph structure for better coherence, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices to strengthen connections between ideas. These adjustments would elevate the coherence and cohesion of the essay, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary with attempts to vary expressions and terminology. For instance, phrases like "negative impacts," "introduction of technology devices," "alternative resources," and "auto purification systems" show an attempt to use diverse vocabulary related to the topic of technology and the environment.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating more nuanced vocabulary specific to environmental and technological discourse. For example, instead of "negative impacts," use terms like "adverse effects" or "environmental ramifications." Introduce synonyms for "technology devices" such as "technological innovations" or "digital advancements." Expand on descriptive language for renewable resources like "sustainable energy sources" or "renewable energy technologies."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, though some imprecise usage is evident. For instance, "technology devices" could be more precisely termed as "technological solutions" or "electronic devices." The phrase "flourished GPA in" seems out of context and could benefit from clearer expression.
- How to improve: Aim for greater precision by using vocabulary that precisely matches the intended meaning. Avoid vague or overly general terms. For example, instead of "advanced equipments," specify with "advanced technologies" or "high-tech equipment." Review the use of academic terms like "flourished GPA in" to ensure they are correctly applied within the context of the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate, but there are instances of minor errors such as "flourished GPA in" which appears to be a typo or an incomplete phrase. Overall, spelling does not significantly detract from readability but could benefit from closer attention to detail.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider proofreading carefully to catch minor errors and inconsistencies. Utilize spell-check tools and review unfamiliar or complex terms to ensure correct spelling. Developing a habit of revising for spelling specifically can help in maintaining accuracy throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a competent level of vocabulary use appropriate for a Band 6 score. To improve further, focus on expanding the range of vocabulary with more precise and contextually appropriate terms. Ensure consistent attention to spelling to enhance overall clarity and professionalism in written expression.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate variety of sentence structures. It includes simple sentences, compound sentences, and some complex sentences. For instance, "While living simpler is the solution for some people, I believe that the introduction of technology devices is one of the most relevant factors to tackle these persistent issues." This sentence combines a complex structure with a clear contrast between two ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance variety, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures such as conditional sentences (e.g., "If more emphasis were placed on simplicity, environmental impacts might decrease"), relative clauses (e.g., "Technological advancements, which continue to evolve rapidly, offer promising solutions"), or passive constructions (e.g., "Renewable energy sources are increasingly utilized, reducing dependency on fossil fuels"). This will add sophistication and clarity to your ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates generally accurate grammar and punctuation. However, there are several instances where errors detract slightly from clarity and precision. For example, "high-tech in businesses and individuals are given" should be "high-tech in businesses and individuals is given." Additionally, "For instance, the introduction of auto purification systems which are set in a variety of polluted lakes have witnessed considerable changes in regions" should be revised for subject-verb agreement: "For instance, the introduction of auto purification systems, which are set in a variety of polluted lakes, has witnessed considerable changes in regions."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement, especially in complex sentences. Additionally, pay attention to punctuation marks such as commas for clearer sentence structures. Reviewing and editing your work for these specific points will help ensure greater grammatical precision.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures and accuracy overall, refining sentence variety and tightening grammatical precision will elevate your writing to a higher band score. Keep practicing diverse sentence structures and paying close attention to grammatical details in your revisions.

Bài sửa mẫu

The negative impacts of technological advancements on the environment have consistently been a topic of interest. While a simpler lifestyle is a solution for some, I contend that the introduction of technological devices is a crucial factor in addressing these persistent issues.

To begin with, it is argued that individuals should adopt simpler lifestyles and reduce reliance on technology. One suggestion encourages citizens to use public transportation. The increasing number of private vehicles in use results in serious air pollution. This solution requires widespread public and governmental awareness, though implementing restrictions on the overuse of high-tech equipment by businesses and individuals is also necessary. However, the policy of limiting the use of advanced equipment can impact a country’s economy and stability, given that technology is considered a flourishing aspect of GDP.

On the other hand, I believe that technology offers significant opportunities for the survival of our ecosystems. Automation can generate electricity from alternative resources, reducing our reliance on non-renewable resources such as coal and fuel. Numerous high-tech appliances are designed to address environmental issues without human intervention, which is more efficient and time-saving. For instance, the introduction of automated purification systems in various polluted lakes has witnessed significant changes in the regions.

In conclusion, technology yields both negative and positive effects, yet I contend that the development of innovative devices plays a significant role in a country’s comprehension of environmental challenges.