do you support the idea that main actors should do their own stunt ?
do you support the idea that main actors should do their own stunt ?
yes I support. Because if an actor plays a dangerous role, it is their responsibility for their role. I think they will have more experience and confidence if they do it themselves. they will also be more satisfied with their actions than the stand-in.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
-
"yes I support" -> "I support"
Explanation: The phrase "yes I support" is informal and lacks a complete sentence structure. Starting with "I support" provides a clear and formal beginning to the statement. -
"Because if an actor plays a dangerous role" -> "Because when an actor assumes a dangerous role"
Explanation: "Assumes" is more precise than "plays" in this context, as it implies a more active and intentional involvement in the role. "When" is also more formal than "if" in this conditional construction. -
"it is their responsibility for their role" -> "it is their responsibility in their role"
Explanation: The preposition "for" is incorrectly used here. "In" is the correct preposition to use when discussing responsibility within a context or situation. -
"I think they will have more experience and confidence if they do it themselves" -> "I believe they will gain more experience and confidence by performing it themselves"
Explanation: "I believe" is a more formal expression than "I think," and "gain" is more precise than "have" in this context. "By performing it themselves" is more formal and clear than "do it themselves." -
"they will also be more satisfied with their actions than the stand-in" -> "they will also be more satisfied with their actions than the stand-in actor"
Explanation: Adding "actor" clarifies the reference to the person replacing the main actor, enhancing the precision of the statement.
These changes refine the language to better suit an academic or formal context, ensuring clarity, precision, and adherence to formal writing standards.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD
-
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by stating support for the idea that main actors should perform their own stunts. However, it lacks depth and fails to explore the implications of this stance. The response is quite brief and does not consider potential counterarguments or the reasons why some may disagree with this position. For instance, the essay could have included points about safety concerns or the role of stunt professionals.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should expand their response by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of actors performing their own stunts. Including examples or scenarios where this practice has been beneficial or detrimental would strengthen the argument.
-
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in favor of actors doing their own stunts. However, the brevity of the response makes it difficult to assess the consistency of this position throughout the essay. The argument is not sufficiently developed, leading to a lack of persuasive power.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should elaborate on their initial statement. This can be achieved by providing more detailed reasoning and examples that reinforce their viewpoint. Additionally, using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
-
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are minimal and lack sufficient support. The writer mentions that actors will have more experience and confidence, but these points are not adequately explained or backed up with examples. The essay feels more like a series of assertions rather than a well-supported argument.
- How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and support ideas, the writer should aim to include specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate their points. For instance, referencing well-known actors who perform their own stunts and discussing the impact on their performances could provide the necessary support. Additionally, expanding on the reasons behind their claims would add depth to the argument.
-
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains on topic by addressing the question of whether main actors should perform their own stunts. However, due to the lack of elaboration, it feels superficial and does not fully engage with the topic. The writer does not explore the nuances of the issue, which could lead to a more comprehensive discussion.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the writer should develop their ideas further by considering various aspects of the issue. This could include discussing the impact on the film industry, audience perceptions, and the importance of safety. By doing so, the essay would not only stay on topic but also provide a richer analysis of the prompt.
Overall, to improve the essay, the writer should aim to expand their ideas, provide supporting examples, and explore the topic in greater depth while ensuring that they meet the word count requirement.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5
-
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear opinion in support of actors performing their own stunts, but the organization of ideas lacks depth and clarity. The points made are somewhat disjointed; for instance, the first sentence introduces the idea of responsibility, but it does not effectively lead into the subsequent points about experience and satisfaction. This results in a lack of a clear progression of thought, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument logically.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should consider using a more structured approach. Starting with a clear thesis statement that outlines the main arguments would provide a roadmap for the reader. Each subsequent paragraph should then focus on one specific point, supported by examples or explanations. For instance, the essay could be structured into three paragraphs: one for responsibility, one for experience and confidence, and one for satisfaction, each beginning with a clear topic sentence.
-
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is presented as a single block of text without any paragraph breaks. This lack of paragraphing makes it challenging for the reader to distinguish between different ideas and hampers overall readability. Each point made is crammed together, which can lead to confusion about the main arguments being presented.
- How to improve: Effective paragraphing is essential for clarity. The writer should separate their ideas into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a single aspect of their argument. For example, the first paragraph could introduce the main argument in favor of actors doing their own stunts, the second could elaborate on the benefits of experience and confidence, and the third could discuss the satisfaction derived from performing stunts personally. This structure will help the reader follow the argument more easily.
-
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices. There are few linking words or phrases to connect ideas, which contributes to a choppy reading experience. For instance, the transition between the points about responsibility and experience is abrupt, lacking phrases that could help bridge these ideas, such as "Furthermore" or "In addition."
- How to improve: To improve cohesion, the writer should incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices. This includes using conjunctions (e.g., "and," "but," "because") and transitional phrases (e.g., "Moreover," "On the other hand," "For example") to connect sentences and ideas smoothly. Practicing the use of these devices in writing exercises can help the writer become more comfortable with their application, leading to a more fluid and coherent essay.
In summary, while the essay presents a clear opinion, it requires significant improvements in organization, paragraphing, and the use of cohesive devices to achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion. By implementing these suggestions, the writer can create a more structured and cohesive argument that effectively communicates their viewpoint.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
-
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, with words like "responsibility," "experience," "confidence," and "satisfied" being used appropriately. However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited and lacks variation. For instance, phrases such as "do their own stunt" could be enhanced by using synonyms or more descriptive phrases, such as "perform their own stunts" or "execute their own stunts." The overall vocabulary does not showcase a broader range of expressions or idiomatic language, which is essential for achieving a higher band score.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more complex phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "do," consider using "undertake" or "engage in." Additionally, exploring related terms or phrases that convey similar meanings can help diversify the language used in the essay.
-
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary correctly, but there are instances where the precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "it is their responsibility for their role" could be more clearly articulated as "it is their responsibility to perform their role." This minor change enhances clarity and precision. Additionally, the term "stand-in" is used correctly, but the context could benefit from further elaboration to clarify what is meant by "stand-in" in relation to the actors’ roles.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on sentence structure and clarity. Revising sentences for grammatical accuracy and ensuring that each term is used in the correct context will enhance the overall precision of the vocabulary. Practicing paraphrasing and rephrasing sentences can also help in achieving greater clarity.
-
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains no spelling errors, indicating a good level of spelling accuracy. Words such as "responsibility," "experience," and "satisfied" are spelled correctly, which contributes positively to the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate, the writer should continue to practice spelling through reading and writing exercises. Engaging with a variety of texts can help reinforce correct spelling and familiarize the writer with more complex vocabulary. Additionally, utilizing spell-check tools can serve as a helpful resource during the writing process.
Overall, to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource, the writer should focus on expanding vocabulary range, improving precision in word choice, and maintaining the accuracy of spelling. Engaging with diverse reading materials and practicing varied sentence structures will aid in this development.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
-
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple and direct, such as "yes I support" and "they will also be more satisfied with their actions than the stand-in." While these sentences convey the main ideas, they lack complexity. For example, the use of compound or complex sentences could enhance the depth of the argument. The sentence "Because if an actor plays a dangerous role, it is their responsibility for their role" could be combined with another thought to create a more sophisticated structure.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, you could revise the first sentence to say, "I support the idea that main actors should perform their own stunts because it enhances their connection to the role." This not only combines ideas but also adds complexity. Additionally, incorporating clauses, such as relative clauses (e.g., "which can lead to greater audience engagement"), can further enrich the writing.
-
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical and punctuation errors. For instance, the sentence "yes I support" lacks capitalization and proper punctuation; it should be "Yes, I support." Furthermore, the phrase "it is their responsibility for their role" is awkwardly constructed. The use of "for" is unnecessary here, as "it is their responsibility" suffices. Additionally, the lack of commas in longer sentences can lead to confusion and disrupt the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on proper capitalization and punctuation. Always capitalize the first word of a sentence and use commas to separate clauses or ideas. For example, revise "I think they will have more experience and confidence if they do it themselves" to "I believe that they will gain more experience and confidence if they perform the stunts themselves." This revision not only corrects grammatical issues but also enhances clarity. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reading well-structured essays can also help reinforce these skills.
Bài sửa mẫu
Yes, I support this idea. Because when an actor assumes a dangerous role, it is their responsibility in their role. I believe they will gain more experience and confidence by performing it themselves. They will also be more satisfied with their actions than the stand-in actor.