Due to globalization, the world is getting smaller. As a patriotic citizen, what should you do to preserve our national identity in this multicultural world?

In an era where the world seems to be shrinking under the vast umbrella of globalization, it is easy to lose sight of our national identity, which, if lost, poses serious threats to our cultural heritage.. As a patriot, I hold a deep appreciation for the historical and cultural values passed down through generations, the essence of our identity. In this multicultural world, preserving our national identity is not only a responsibility, but also a celebration of who we are.

While globalization offers opportunities to connect people and foster economic development by linking ideas and innovations worldwide, it can also dilute cultural traditions, replace them with more global trends. As a result, unique customs around the world are being overshadowed. For example, the rush of international consumption can sometimes draw people away from traditional handicrafts.
To protect and showcase our heritage, we must actively engage in maintaining traditional practices. Being patriotic Vietnamese, we should celebrate our cultural traditions and values. This includes making Banh Chung during Tet, gathering with family, and worshiping ancestors. To engage the younger generation, we can leverage viral trends such as creating transformation videos where participants shift from modern to traditional outfits, or TikTok dance challenges on traditional music. These methods help preserve cultural traditions while making them more appealing to Gen Z.
Additionally, creating and distributing "Tradition Kits" along with informative leaflets or brochures for visitors can be a highly effective strategy. These kits, available at tourist information centers, hotels, or cultural landmarks, could include materials for engaging in traditional activities, like ingredients for making Banh Chung or tools for crafting local items. The accompanying brochures would offer step-by-step instructions and highlight the cultural significance of each activity, similar to Hai Phong food tour map for tourists. By providing these resources, we encourage visitors to actively participate in and respect local traditions. This approach not only enhances the tourist experience but also helps spread cultural awareness and appreciation to a broader audience.
In this rapidly globalizing world, preserving our heritage and proudly sharing it with the world, we ensure that our unique culture, like a timeless melody, continues to resonate across the world.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In an era where the world seems to be shrinking under the vast umbrella of globalization" -> "In an era characterized by the pervasive influence of globalization"
Explanation: The phrase "shrinking under the vast umbrella of globalization" is metaphorical and somewhat informal. "Characterized by the pervasive influence of globalization" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.
"it is easy to lose sight of our national identity" -> "it is readily apparent that our national identity may be overlooked"
Explanation: "It is easy to lose sight of" is somewhat informal and vague. "It is readily apparent that our national identity may be overlooked" is more formal and precise, emphasizing the potential for oversight rather than the ease of losing sight.
"which, if lost, poses serious threats to our cultural heritage" -> "whose loss could pose significant threats to our cultural heritage"
Explanation: "which, if lost" is a bit awkward and informal. "whose loss could pose significant threats" is more grammatically correct and formal, improving the flow and clarity of the sentence.
"the essence of our identity" -> "the core of our identity"
Explanation: "The essence of" is a bit vague and poetic; "the core of" is more specific and academically appropriate, clearly conveying the central aspect of identity.
"not only a responsibility, but also a celebration of who we are" -> "both a responsibility and a celebration of our identity"
Explanation: "not only a responsibility, but also a celebration of who we are" is slightly informal and redundant. "Both a responsibility and a celebration of our identity" is more concise and maintains a formal tone.
"the rush of international consumption" -> "the surge of international consumerism"
Explanation: "the rush of international consumption" is somewhat informal and vague. "the surge of international consumerism" is more precise and formal, clearly referring to the rapid spread of consumer goods and practices.
"Being patriotic Vietnamese, we should celebrate our cultural traditions and values" -> "As patriotic Vietnamese, we should celebrate our cultural traditions and values"
Explanation: "Being patriotic Vietnamese" is awkwardly phrased. "As patriotic Vietnamese" is more natural and grammatically correct, enhancing the formal tone of the essay.
"making Banh Chung during Tet" -> "preparing Banh Chung during Tet"
Explanation: "making" is too informal and vague for this context. "Preparing" is more specific and appropriate for describing the act of creating traditional foods like Banh Chung.
"gathering with family, and worshiping ancestors" -> "gathering with family and honoring ancestors"
Explanation: "worshiping" might be seen as too religiously specific or informal for an academic essay. "Honoring" is a more neutral and formal term that encompasses respect and reverence without being specific to any particular religion.
"creating transformation videos" -> "producing transformation videos"
Explanation: "creating" is slightly informal and vague in this context. "Producing" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.
"TikTok dance challenges on traditional music" -> "TikTok dance challenges featuring traditional music"
Explanation: "on" is less formal and slightly vague in this context. "Featuring" is more precise and formal, clearly indicating the inclusion of traditional music in the dance challenges.
"These methods help preserve cultural traditions while making them more appealing to Gen Z" -> "These methods aid in preserving cultural traditions while making them more appealing to Generation Z"
Explanation: "help preserve" is slightly informal and vague. "aid in preserving" is more formal and precise, and "Generation Z" is the correct term for the demographic, rather than the informal "Gen Z".
"creating and distributing ‘Tradition Kits’" -> "developing and disseminating ‘Tradition Kits’"
Explanation: "creating" is somewhat informal and vague for this context. "Developing" is more specific and formal, and "disseminating" is a more precise term for the act of spreading information or materials widely.
"similar to Hai Phong food tour map for tourists" -> "similar to the Hai Phong food tour maps provided for tourists"
Explanation: "similar to Hai Phong food tour map for tourists" is awkwardly phrased and lacks clarity. "Similar to the Hai Phong food tour maps provided for tourists" clarifies the reference and maintains a formal tone.
"By providing these resources, we encourage visitors to actively participate in and respect local traditions" -> "By offering these resources, we encourage visitors to actively engage with and respect local traditions"
Explanation: "participate in" is slightly informal and vague. "Engage with" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of preserving national identity in the context of globalization. It identifies specific actions that a patriotic citizen can take, such as celebrating cultural traditions and engaging the younger generation through modern methods. The examples provided, such as making Banh Chung during Tet and using social media trends, demonstrate a clear understanding of the task. However, the essay could have explicitly stated the responsibilities of a patriotic citizen in relation to these actions, which would enhance the completeness of the response.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay could include a more explicit list of responsibilities that a patriotic citizen should undertake. For instance, discussing the importance of education about national identity in schools or community programs could provide a more comprehensive view of the actions one can take.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position on the importance of preserving national identity amidst globalization. The writer consistently emphasizes the need for patriotism and cultural preservation, which is evident in phrases like "it is easy to lose sight of our national identity" and "preserving our heritage." The position is well-supported by examples and a logical progression of ideas. However, there are moments where the connection between globalization and the proposed solutions could be more explicitly articulated.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the writer could reiterate the connection between globalization and the proposed actions more frequently. For example, after discussing a solution, a brief reminder of how that solution counters the effects of globalization would reinforce the essay’s position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas related to preserving national identity, such as engaging the younger generation and creating "Tradition Kits." Each idea is well-supported with examples and explanations, making the arguments persuasive. The use of specific cultural practices, like making Banh Chung, adds depth to the discussion. However, some ideas could benefit from further elaboration, particularly the potential impact of the suggested methods on the community and tourism.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer could include more detailed explanations of how each proposed action can lead to a stronger national identity. For instance, discussing the long-term benefits of engaging youth in cultural practices could provide more weight to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of preserving national identity in a multicultural world. The writer consistently relates back to the main theme of patriotism and cultural heritage, ensuring that all points made are relevant to the prompt. There are no significant deviations from the topic, which strengthens the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay is largely on topic, the writer should ensure that every example and suggestion directly ties back to the prompt. For instance, when discussing the use of social media, it would be beneficial to explicitly connect this to the preservation of national identity, perhaps by mentioning how these platforms can be used to educate others about cultural practices.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the importance of preserving national identity in a globalized world. With some enhancements in clarity, elaboration, and explicit connections to the prompt, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is structured in a logical manner, beginning with an introduction that sets the context of globalization and its impact on national identity. The subsequent paragraphs build upon this foundation by discussing the threats posed by globalization and proposing specific strategies for preserving cultural heritage. For instance, the transition from discussing the challenges of globalization to the importance of celebrating traditional practices is smooth and coherent. The use of examples, such as making Banh Chung during Tet and the creation of "Tradition Kits," effectively illustrates the points made. However, while the overall organization is strong, some transitions between ideas could be more explicit to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve the logical flow, consider using more transitional phrases or sentences that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the impact of globalization, a sentence summarizing this impact before introducing the solutions could help guide the reader more clearly through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction, body paragraphs discussing the challenges and solutions, and the conclusion are clearly delineated. Each paragraph contains a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples. However, the second paragraph could be further divided to enhance readability, as it contains multiple ideas that could be more effectively presented in separate paragraphs.
- How to improve: To enhance paragraphing, consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones that each focus on a single idea. For instance, the second paragraph could be split into one discussing the threats of globalization and another detailing the importance of celebrating cultural traditions. This would make the essay easier to navigate and allow for a more focused discussion of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions, referencing, and lexical cohesion. Phrases like "while globalization offers opportunities" and "additionally" effectively link ideas and indicate relationships between them. The use of examples and specific references, such as "Banh Chung" and "TikTok dance challenges," also contributes to cohesion. However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices could be more varied to avoid repetition and enhance sophistication.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "additionally," consider alternatives like "furthermore," "in addition," or "moreover." Additionally, varying sentence structures can help create a more engaging flow. Using synonyms or rephrasing ideas can also reduce redundancy and improve the overall cohesiveness of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing information and using paragraphs and cohesive devices to present a clear argument. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively using terms related to culture and globalization. Phrases such as "vast umbrella of globalization," "dilute cultural traditions," and "cultural heritage" showcase a good variety. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be expanded further. For example, the term "patriot" is repeated, which could be varied with synonyms like "nationalist" or "loyal citizen" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate more synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. This could involve using a thesaurus to find alternatives for frequently used words and phrases, thereby enriching the text and avoiding repetition.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with phrases like "cultural traditions" and "historical values" being well-placed. However, the phrase "the rush of international consumption" could be seen as slightly vague. It may not clearly convey the intended meaning of how globalization affects local customs. Additionally, the phrase "making them more appealing to Gen Z" could be more formally articulated to fit the academic tone.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should consider the context in which words are used. For instance, instead of "the rush of international consumption," a more precise phrase could be "the increasing prevalence of global consumer culture." Furthermore, maintaining a formal tone throughout the essay would improve the overall quality, such as replacing "Gen Z" with "younger generations."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is largely accurate, with no significant errors that detract from the overall comprehension. Words such as "Banh Chung," "Tet," and "cultural" are spelled correctly, reflecting a good command of spelling conventions. However, there is a minor issue with punctuation, specifically the use of double periods after "heritage," which could be considered a typographical error.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully to catch any typographical errors or punctuation mistakes. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors that might be overlooked during the writing process. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or quizzes can further solidify spelling skills.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary and generally meets the criteria for a Band 7 in Lexical Resource, there are areas for improvement. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and ensuring spelling accuracy, the writer can elevate their score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "While globalization offers opportunities to connect people and foster economic development by linking ideas and innovations worldwide, it can also dilute cultural traditions." This sentence effectively combines multiple ideas, showcasing the writer’s ability to handle complexity. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences, which contributes to a more engaging reading experience. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as the frequent use of "to" + verb phrases (e.g., "to protect," "to engage," "to preserve"), which could limit the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, consider varying the introductory phrases and using more subordinate clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "To," try incorporating participial phrases or relative clauses. This could involve rephrasing sentences to include clauses that provide additional information, thereby enriching the text’s complexity and flow.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "which, if lost, poses serious threats to our cultural heritage.." contains a punctuation error, as there is an unnecessary double period. Additionally, the sentence "As a patriot, I hold a deep appreciation for the historical and cultural values passed down through generations, the essence of our identity." could be improved by replacing the comma with a semicolon or restructuring it to avoid a comma splice. Overall, the essay’s grammatical structures are mostly correct, and the punctuation is effective, with clear use of commas to separate clauses.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to punctuation rules, particularly regarding comma usage and sentence boundaries. Consider reviewing common punctuation errors, such as comma splices and run-on sentences. Additionally, proofreading the essay for typographical errors, such as the double period, can enhance the overall quality. Engaging in exercises focused on complex sentence construction and punctuation practice can also be beneficial in refining these skills.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the writer can further enhance the quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In an era characterized by the pervasive influence of globalization, it is readily apparent that our national identity may be overlooked, whose loss could pose significant threats to our cultural heritage. As a patriotic citizen, I hold a deep appreciation for the historical and cultural values passed down through generations, which form the core of our identity. In this multicultural world, preserving our national identity is both a responsibility and a celebration of who we are.

To protect and showcase our heritage, we must actively engage in maintaining traditional practices. As patriotic Vietnamese, we should celebrate our cultural traditions and values. This includes preparing Banh Chung during Tet, gathering with family, and honoring ancestors. To engage the younger generation, we can leverage viral trends such as producing transformation videos where participants shift from modern to traditional outfits, or TikTok dance challenges featuring traditional music. These methods aid in preserving cultural traditions while making them more appealing to Generation Z.

Additionally, developing and disseminating “Tradition Kits” along with informative leaflets or brochures for visitors can be a highly effective strategy. These kits, available at tourist information centers, hotels, or cultural landmarks, could include materials for engaging in traditional activities, like ingredients for making Banh Chung or tools for crafting local items. The accompanying brochures would offer step-by-step instructions and highlight the cultural significance of each activity, similar to the Hai Phong food tour maps provided for tourists. By offering these resources, we encourage visitors to actively engage with and respect local traditions. This approach not only enhances the tourist experience but also helps spread cultural awareness and appreciation to a broader audience.

In this rapidly globalizing world, preserving our heritage and proudly sharing it with the world ensures that our unique culture, like a timeless melody, continues to resonate across the globe.