Eating habits adversely affect the environment. Agree or Disagree?

Food has been of the utmost importance to human survival for as long as history. Therefore, the Agricultural Revolution was initiated in order to eradicate hunger worldwide. However, it also sparked criticisms about its transformation of human eating habits and their consequences of environmental destruction. This essay aims to substantiate this opinion of such dangers through the production and transportation of foods.
To commence, the modern methods of cultivation are a cause of concern for the environment. In order to feed a growing population, modern agriculture embraces numerous methods to increase yields. Such methods, like artificial fertilizers, are known to cause pollution. While organic farming may alleviate some of this harm, it is firstly not widespread enough to offset the effluent its traditional counterparts create. Another shortcoming of organic agriculture is that it faces similar challenges to that of conventional procedures, such as straining the limits of the soil. This means that both methods are bound to affect the environment negatively through impoverishing the land beyond recovery. Therefore, as our food relies on such methods, it is inevitable that the environment is endangered by our eating habits.
Another aspect of modern food consumption that is detrimental to the environment is where the food is sourced from. With the advent of the combustion engine and advanced means of food preservation, humans are seeing foods produced elsewhere now available to them. This is in stark contrast with the types of the past, which were either harvested or grown locally. Such a transition from regional options to imported ones necessitates an expansion of traffic networks and thereby leading to increased pollution. As a matter of fact, imported goods, which have a larger carbon footprint than local ones, have transportation as a leading contributor of such a footprint. Therefore, contemporary dining deleteriously affects the environment by dint of the transportation entailed in imported food.
In summary, modern eating habits are a major concern to the environment, for food production and transportation bear the price of pollution in exchange of sustenance and satisfaction. In light of that, it is imperative that we be on the search for alternative methods of agriculture, so that our supply remains fully stocked, diverse and locally grown, thereby solving the problems above.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Food has been of the utmost importance to human survival for as long as history." -> "Food has been of paramount importance to human survival throughout history."
Explanation: The phrase "as long as history" is vague and informal. "Throughout history" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"the Agricultural Revolution was initiated in order to eradicate hunger worldwide." -> "the Agricultural Revolution was undertaken to alleviate global hunger."
Explanation: "Eradicate" might imply complete elimination, which is unrealistic and overly ambitious. "Alleviate" is more accurate and realistic, suggesting a reduction in hunger rather than its complete elimination.
"it also sparked criticisms about its transformation of human eating habits and their consequences of environmental destruction." -> "it also sparked criticism regarding its transformation of human eating habits and the subsequent environmental consequences."
Explanation: "Criticisms about" is informal and vague; "criticism regarding" is more precise and formal. Also, "their consequences of environmental destruction" is awkwardly phrased; "the subsequent environmental consequences" is clearer and more direct.
"the modern methods of cultivation are a cause of concern for the environment." -> "modern cultivation methods pose environmental concerns."
Explanation: Simplifying "the modern methods of cultivation are a cause of concern for the environment" to "modern cultivation methods pose environmental concerns" streamlines the sentence and maintains formality.
"Such methods, like artificial fertilizers, are known to cause pollution." -> "Such methods, such as the use of artificial fertilizers, are known to cause pollution."
Explanation: Adding "such as" clarifies that the examples provided are representative of the methods mentioned, enhancing clarity and formality.
"it is firstly not widespread enough to offset the effluent its traditional counterparts create." -> "it is not yet widespread enough to offset the pollution caused by its traditional counterparts."
Explanation: "Effluent" is typically used to describe liquid waste, not pollution. "Pollution caused by" is more accurate and contextually appropriate. Also, "it is firstly" is redundant; "it is not yet" is more direct and formal.
"Another shortcoming of organic agriculture is that it faces similar challenges to that of conventional procedures, such as straining the limits of the soil." -> "Another limitation of organic agriculture is that it faces similar challenges to those of conventional methods, such as soil degradation."
Explanation: "Shortcoming" is somewhat informal; "limitation" is more precise in an academic context. "That of conventional procedures" is awkward; "those of conventional methods" is clearer and more direct. "Straining the limits of the soil" is vague; "soil degradation" is a specific and scientifically accurate term.
"This means that both methods are bound to affect the environment negatively through impoverishing the land beyond recovery." -> "This implies that both methods are likely to negatively impact the environment by degrading the land irreparably."
Explanation: "Bound to affect" is informal and vague; "likely to negatively impact" is more precise and formal. "Impoverishing the land beyond recovery" is overly dramatic and less formal; "degrading the land irreparably" is scientifically accurate and formal.
"Therefore, as our food relies on such methods, it is inevitable that the environment is endangered by our eating habits." -> "Therefore, as our food production relies on such methods, it is inevitable that the environment is threatened by our eating habits."
Explanation: "Endangered" is too strong and informal; "threatened" is more appropriate for academic writing. "Our food" is vague; "our food production" specifies the context more clearly.
"Another aspect of modern food consumption that is detrimental to the environment is where the food is sourced from." -> "Another aspect of modern food consumption detrimental to the environment is the sourcing of food."
Explanation: "Where the food is sourced from" is awkward and verbose; "the sourcing of food" is concise and maintains formality.
"This is in stark contrast with the types of the past, which were either harvested or grown locally." -> "This contrasts sharply with the types of food produced locally in the past."
Explanation: "In stark contrast with the types of the past" is verbose and informal; "contrasts sharply with the types of food produced locally in the past" is more concise and formal.
"Such a transition from regional options to imported ones necessitates an expansion of traffic networks and thereby leading to increased pollution." -> "This shift from regional to imported options necessitates the expansion of transportation networks, thereby increasing pollution."
Explanation: "Such a transition" is informal; "This shift" is more direct and formal. "Leading to increased pollution" is awkward; "increasing pollution" is more straightforward and formal.
"As a matter of

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by arguing that eating habits adversely affect the environment. It discusses both food production and transportation as key factors contributing to environmental degradation. The introduction clearly states the position, and each body paragraph provides relevant examples that support this stance. However, while the essay does cover the negative impacts, it could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of counterarguments or alternative viewpoints to fully engage with the complexity of the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, consider briefly discussing potential benefits of modern eating habits or agricultural practices, even if the overall stance remains critical. This would demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic and strengthen the argument by addressing opposing views.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently arguing that modern eating habits are detrimental to the environment. The use of phrases like "it is inevitable that the environment is endangered" reinforces this stance. The logical flow from the introduction to the conclusion helps to maintain clarity. However, the position could be further strengthened by explicitly linking each point back to the main argument in the concluding remarks.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, ensure that each paragraph not only presents a point but also explicitly ties it back to the central thesis. A concluding sentence in each paragraph that reiterates how the point supports the overall argument would enhance coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in discussing the negative impacts of modern agricultural practices and food transportation. Specific examples, such as the use of artificial fertilizers and the carbon footprint of imported goods, effectively illustrate the points made. However, some ideas could be further developed; for instance, the discussion on organic farming could include more detail about its potential benefits or limitations.
- How to improve: To enhance the depth of the argument, consider expanding on key points with additional examples or evidence. For instance, discussing specific statistics related to pollution from transportation or the environmental benefits of local sourcing could provide a more robust support for the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, consistently discussing how eating habits impact the environment. There are no significant deviations from the main argument, and each paragraph contributes to the overall thesis. However, the introduction could be more concise in its historical context, as it slightly diverts from the main focus on current eating habits.
- How to improve: To maintain tighter focus, streamline the introduction by reducing historical references and emphasizing the contemporary implications of eating habits on the environment. This will ensure that the reader immediately understands the essay’s focus and relevance to the prompt.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong critical thinking and a clear understanding of the topic, warranting a band score of 8. By addressing the suggested areas for improvement, the essay could reach an even higher level of sophistication and depth.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas. It begins with an introduction that sets the context and states the thesis, followed by two well-structured body paragraphs that each address a specific aspect of the argument. The first body paragraph discusses the environmental impact of modern agricultural practices, while the second focuses on the implications of food transportation. This organization effectively guides the reader through the argument, making it easy to follow the writer’s line of reasoning.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate back to the thesis. This can help reinforce the connection between the argument and the supporting points. Additionally, transitioning phrases could be employed to signal shifts in focus or to link ideas more clearly between paragraphs.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay successfully utilizes paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph is focused on a specific point, contributing to the overall argument. The introduction is effective in setting up the discussion, while the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points. However, the body paragraphs could benefit from clearer internal structure, as some sentences feel densely packed with information.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones to enhance clarity. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear concluding sentence that summarizes the main idea discussed, reinforcing the connection to the thesis and preparing the reader for the next point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of cohesive devices, such as "however," "therefore," and "in summary," which help to connect ideas and indicate relationships between them. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. However, the use of cohesive devices can sometimes feel repetitive, and there are opportunities to introduce more variety.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "in addition," "conversely," or "for instance." This will not only enhance the cohesiveness of the essay but also make the writing more engaging. Additionally, varying sentence structures can help maintain the reader’s interest and improve the overall flow of the essay.

In summary, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, achieving a band score of 8. By focusing on enhancing logical flow, improving paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can further elevate the quality of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively using terms related to agriculture, environmental issues, and food consumption. Phrases such as "Agricultural Revolution," "artificial fertilizers," and "carbon footprint" showcase the writer’s ability to employ specific terminology relevant to the topic. Additionally, expressions like "impoverishing the land beyond recovery" and "debilitating effects" reflect a sophisticated understanding of language and context.
- How to improve: To further enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms and phrases to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "environment," alternatives such as "ecosystem" or "natural surroundings" could be employed. Additionally, integrating idiomatic expressions or more advanced collocations could elevate the lexical sophistication of the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with a high degree of precision. Terms like "pollution," "sustainability," and "transportation" are used appropriately in context. However, there are instances where the precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "the price of pollution in exchange of sustenance and satisfaction" could be misinterpreted; it might be clearer to state "the environmental cost of food production and consumption."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on clarifying phrases that may lead to ambiguity. For instance, instead of "the price of pollution," consider using "the environmental impact of pollution." Additionally, ensuring that all terms are contextually appropriate will help maintain clarity throughout the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is largely accurate, contributing to the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. Words like "agriculture," "environment," and "transportation" are spelled correctly, which is essential for effective communication. However, there are minor issues, such as "by dint of," which, while not a spelling error, may be considered an unusual phrase that could confuse readers.
- How to improve: To maintain high spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay for any typographical errors or unusual phrases that could detract from clarity. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify any awkward phrases or potential spelling mistakes. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can further enhance spelling proficiency.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong lexical resource capabilities, with room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can aim for an even higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like, "While organic farming may alleviate some of this harm, it is firstly not widespread enough to offset the effluent its traditional counterparts create." This showcases the ability to combine clauses effectively. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple, compound, and complex structures, which contributes to a fluid reading experience. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be further diversified. For example, the phrase "This means that both methods are bound to affect the environment negatively through impoverishing the land beyond recovery" could be restructured for variation.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases or using different conjunctions to connect ideas. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "This means that," you could use alternatives like "Consequently," or "As a result," to introduce the implications of your points. Additionally, integrating more passive voice constructions or conditional sentences could add further complexity to your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors that do not impede understanding. For instance, the phrase "by dint of the transportation entailed in imported food" is grammatically correct but may come off as slightly awkward or less formal than intended. Punctuation is generally well-handled, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses and enhance readability. However, there are moments where clarity could be improved, such as in the sentence "Therefore, contemporary dining deleteriously affects the environment by dint of the transportation entailed in imported food," where the phrase "by dint of" could be simplified for clearer communication.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, it is advisable to proofread for clarity and conciseness. Consider revising sentences that feel overly complex or convoluted. For example, simplifying "by dint of the transportation entailed in imported food" to "due to the transportation involved in importing food" would enhance clarity. Additionally, ensure that all clauses are clearly linked and that punctuation is used to aid comprehension, particularly in longer sentences where multiple ideas are presented.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, there are opportunities for improvement in sentence variety and clarity. By incorporating more diverse structures and refining grammatical precision, the essay could achieve an even higher level of sophistication.

Bài sửa mẫu

Food has been of paramount importance to human survival throughout history. Therefore, the Agricultural Revolution was initiated in order to eradicate hunger worldwide. However, it also sparked criticism regarding its transformation of human eating habits and the subsequent consequences of environmental destruction. This essay aims to substantiate this opinion of such dangers through the production and transportation of food.

To commence, modern cultivation methods pose environmental concerns. In order to feed a growing population, modern agriculture embraces numerous methods to increase yields. Such methods, such as the use of artificial fertilizers, are known to cause pollution. While organic farming may alleviate some of this harm, it is not yet widespread enough to offset the pollution caused by its traditional counterparts. Another limitation of organic agriculture is that it faces similar challenges to those of conventional methods, such as soil degradation. This implies that both methods are likely to negatively impact the environment by degrading the land irreparably. Therefore, as our food production relies on such methods, it is inevitable that the environment is threatened by our eating habits.

Another aspect of modern food consumption that is detrimental to the environment is the sourcing of food. With the advent of the combustion engine and advanced means of food preservation, humans are now seeing foods produced elsewhere available to them. This contrasts sharply with the types of food produced locally in the past. Such a shift from regional to imported options necessitates the expansion of transportation networks, thereby increasing pollution. As a matter of fact, imported goods, which have a larger carbon footprint than local ones, have transportation as a leading contributor to such a footprint. Therefore, contemporary dining deleteriously affects the environment by dint of the transportation entailed in imported food.

In summary, modern eating habits are a major concern for the environment, for food production and transportation bear the price of pollution in exchange for sustenance and satisfaction. In light of that, it is imperative that we search for alternative methods of agriculture so that our supply remains fully stocked, diverse, and locally grown, thereby solving the problems mentioned above.