Every day, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the word. Why do you think this is happening? How can we solve this problem?

Every day, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the word. Why do you think this is happening? How can we solve this problem?

In this modern era, there is a prevailing global concern about millions of edible foods being discarded daily. This alarming trend is driven by a complex of factors, which will be described, and solutions for each problem will be given.
First of all, with the proliferation of modern technology, manufacturing factories can produce a wide range of food in minutes without aid from humans, leading to overproduction. This results in the supply being greater than the demand, so food is thrown away at an exponential level, which badly affects the environment. Moreover, the unequal distribution of food resources, with certain regions experiencing surplus while others face scarcity because of the lack of proper transportation systems and infrastructure. As a result, one region exceeds thousands of foods, whereas another one experienced substantial food loss. Another approach that contributes to this problem is consumer behavior. Many supermarkets, no matter how big or small it is, have a business campaign to compete with other opponents. They release a lot of sales products, especially food that aims for purchaser’s needs and find several ways to attract their attention. Buyers would fight for the cheapest products although in reality they don’t need them, resulting in the amount of unnecessary food is expired and eliminated.
To address this multifaceted issue, a comprehensive approach is necessary. Consumer education and awareness campaigns can empower individuals to make informed choices and adopt sustainable practices. Encouraging mindful shopping, proper storage, and creative utilization of leftovers can significantly reduce household waste, helping to improve the environmental condition. Moreover, there should be a collaboration between governments, businesses, and consumers in order to enhance the overall result. Industrial regulations and self-discipline can restrict the overproduction conditions happening in many factories, and investing in food distribution networks can enhance the efficiency of the food supply chain. Moreover, fostering partnerships between food producers, retailers, and consumers can facilitate the redistribution of surplus food to those in need.
In conclusion, if individuals are aware of how bad it is when wasting too much food, society will be a better place to live. The complex issue of food waste necessitates a multi-prolonged approach, hence the comprehensive attention from all over the world. By addressing consumer behavior, distribution, and overproduction of the food chain, we can significantly reduce food waste and contribute to a more sustainable and equitable food system.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "In this modern era" -> "In the contemporary era"
    Explanation: "Contemporary" is a more precise and formal term than "modern," which can sound somewhat vague and colloquial in academic writing.

  2. "millions of edible foods" -> "millions of edible products"
    Explanation: "Products" is a more precise term in this context, encompassing a broader range of food items beyond just "foods."

  3. "a complex of factors" -> "a complex array of factors"
    Explanation: "Array" is a more formal and precise term than "complex," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic writing.

  4. "will be given" -> "will be discussed"
    Explanation: "Will be discussed" is more appropriate in academic writing, as it implies a detailed examination rather than a simple provision of information.

  5. "with the proliferation of modern technology" -> "with the advent of modern technology"
    Explanation: "Advent" is a more formal and precise term than "proliferation," which can be seen as overly dramatic and less specific.

  6. "leading to overproduction" -> "resulting in overproduction"
    Explanation: "Resulting in" is a more direct and academically appropriate phrase than "leading to," which can imply causality that is not always clear.

  7. "exponential level" -> "exponential rate"
    Explanation: "Rate" is the correct term to describe the speed or frequency of something, whereas "level" is not typically used in this context.

  8. "badly affects" -> "adversely affects"
    Explanation: "Adversely" is a more formal and precise adverb than "badly," which is too colloquial for academic writing.

  9. "one region exceeds thousands of foods" -> "one region has thousands of excess foods"
    Explanation: "Has thousands of excess foods" is clearer and more precise than "exceeds thousands of foods," which is awkward and unclear.

  10. "substantial food loss" -> "substantial food losses"
    Explanation: "Losses" is the correct plural form to match the plural subject "food," enhancing grammatical accuracy.

  11. "no matter how big or small it is" -> "regardless of its size"
    Explanation: "Regardless of its size" is more concise and formal than the original phrase, which is verbose and informal.

  12. "aim for purchaser’s needs" -> "meet the needs of purchasers"
    Explanation: "Meet the needs of purchasers" is grammatically correct and more formal than "aim for purchaser’s needs," which is awkward and unclear.

  13. "the amount of unnecessary food is expired and eliminated" -> "the amount of unnecessary food is expired and discarded"
    Explanation: "Discarded" is a more precise term than "eliminated," which can imply a more drastic action than simply disposing of food.

  14. "improve the environmental condition" -> "improve environmental conditions"
    Explanation: "Conditions" should be plural to match the general and ongoing nature of environmental issues.

  15. "enhance the overall result" -> "enhance overall results"
    Explanation: "Results" should be plural to reflect the multiple outcomes that can be achieved through collaboration.

  16. "multi-prolonged approach" -> "multi-faceted approach"
    Explanation: "Multi-faceted" is the correct term, referring to an approach that addresses multiple aspects or angles, whereas "multi-prolonged" is not a standard term.

  17. "comprehensive attention from all over the world" -> "comprehensive global attention"
    Explanation: "Global" is more concise and formal than "from all over the world," which is verbose and less precise.

  18. "By addressing consumer behavior, distribution, and overproduction of the food chain" -> "By addressing consumer behavior, distribution, and overproduction within the food chain"
    Explanation: Adding "within" clarifies that the issues are specific to the food chain, enhancing the precision of the statement.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt: it identifies reasons for food waste, such as overproduction, unequal distribution, and consumer behavior, and it proposes solutions like consumer education, collaboration among stakeholders, and improved distribution networks. Each reason is supported with relevant examples, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could benefit from more specific examples or statistics to illustrate the points made. For instance, citing data on food waste percentages or specific initiatives that have successfully reduced waste could strengthen the argument and provide a more robust answer to the question.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position on the importance of addressing food waste and the necessity for a multifaceted approach. The introduction sets the tone, and the conclusion reiterates the importance of the issue. However, the position could be more explicitly stated in the body paragraphs to reinforce the argument.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer could explicitly restate their position at the beginning of each body paragraph. This would help to remind the reader of the overarching argument and ensure that the essay remains focused on the central thesis throughout.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: Ideas are generally well-presented and supported, with logical progression from identifying causes to proposing solutions. The essay discusses various factors contributing to food waste and offers practical solutions. However, some ideas could be further developed; for example, the section on consumer behavior could include more detail on how marketing strategies specifically lead to waste.
    • How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on key points by providing more detailed examples or case studies. For instance, discussing specific consumer education programs or successful government policies could provide a stronger foundation for the proposed solutions.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay stays largely on topic, focusing on the causes and solutions related to food waste. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused. For example, the phrase "the complex issue of food waste necessitates a multi-prolonged approach" could be clearer in its meaning and relevance to the specific solutions proposed.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the prompt. It may help to outline the essay before writing to ensure that each paragraph has a clear purpose and directly addresses the question posed. Additionally, avoiding vague phrases and ensuring that all statements are directly relevant to the topic will enhance coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the issues and potential solutions related to food waste. With some refinements in elaboration and clarity, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear logical progression of ideas, beginning with the identification of the problem of food waste, followed by an exploration of its causes, and concluding with potential solutions. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs are structured to first address the causes before moving on to solutions. However, the transition between some ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing overproduction to consumer behavior feels abrupt and could benefit from a clearer linking sentence.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas. For example, after discussing overproduction, a sentence like "In addition to overproduction, consumer behavior also plays a crucial role in food waste" would help bridge the two points more effectively.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately, with each paragraph addressing a distinct aspect of the topic. The first paragraph introduces the issue, the second discusses causes, and the third outlines solutions. However, the second paragraph could be further divided into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on overproduction and distribution issues, and another on consumer behavior. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each cause.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. Consider starting a new paragraph when introducing a new cause or solution, which will help maintain clarity and focus within each section.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "Moreover," "First of all," and "In conclusion," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. For instance, phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" could be used to contrast different causes or solutions, which would enhance the depth of analysis.
    • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, when discussing the solutions, you might use "Additionally," "Furthermore," or "Conversely" to introduce new points or contrast them with previous ideas. This will not only improve the flow but also demonstrate a greater command of language.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid level of coherence and cohesion, focusing on smoother transitions, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will help elevate the score further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using terms like "proliferation," "surplus," "scarcity," and "multifaceted." These words convey the complexity of the issue effectively. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "food" could be replaced with synonyms such as "edibles," "provisions," or "nourishment" to enhance lexical variety.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly stating "food," consider using phrases like "culinary products" or "agricultural goods" in different contexts to enrich the vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For example, the phrase "exceeds thousands of foods" is awkward and unclear; it would be more effective to say "thousands of tons of food are wasted." Additionally, the phrase "the amount of unnecessary food is expired and eliminated" could be more clearly expressed as "the amount of unnecessary food that expires and is discarded."
    • How to improve: The writer should focus on refining phrases for clarity and precision. It would be beneficial to review sentences for potential ambiguities and rephrase them to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed clearly. Practicing paraphrasing exercises can also help in achieving more precise vocabulary usage.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "word" instead of "world" in the prompt and "multi-prolonged" instead of "multi-pronged" in the conclusion. Such errors can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and may affect the reader’s understanding.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should make it a habit to proofread their work before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors that might be overlooked during the writing process. Additionally, keeping a list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a commendable level of lexical resource, focusing on expanding vocabulary variety, enhancing precision in word choice, and ensuring spelling accuracy will help elevate the score further.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "with the proliferation of modern technology, manufacturing factories can produce a wide range of food in minutes without aid from humans," which effectively conveys a cause-and-effect relationship. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple and compound sentences, such as "Moreover, the unequal distribution of food resources, with certain regions experiencing surplus while others face scarcity because of the lack of proper transportation systems and infrastructure." This variety enhances the overall readability and engagement of the text.
    • How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, beginning sentences with adverbial clauses (e.g., "Although many supermarkets aim to attract consumers, they often contribute to food waste") can add complexity. Additionally, using more conditional structures (e.g., "If consumers were more aware of their purchasing habits, food waste could be significantly reduced") would enhance the essay’s depth.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For instance, in the phrase "the amount of unnecessary food is expired and eliminated," the verb tense is awkward; it would be clearer to say "the amount of unnecessary food expires and is discarded." Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could improve clarity, such as before "which badly affects the environment" to separate it from the main clause.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on verb forms and agreement. Reviewing subject-verb agreement in complex sentences is crucial; for example, "many supermarkets, no matter how big or small it is," should be revised to "many supermarkets, no matter how big or small they are." Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, particularly with clauses and lists, will help clarify complex ideas. Regularly revising and proofreading for these common errors can lead to improved accuracy.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt with a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. By incorporating the suggested improvements, the writer can elevate their writing to an even higher level.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary era, there is a prevailing global concern about millions of edible products being discarded daily. This alarming trend is driven by a complex array of factors, which will be discussed, along with potential solutions for each issue.

First of all, with the advent of modern technology, manufacturing factories can produce a wide range of food in minutes without human assistance, leading to overproduction. This results in the supply being greater than the demand, causing food to be thrown away at an exponential rate, which adversely affects the environment. Moreover, the unequal distribution of food resources means that certain regions experience surplus while others face scarcity due to inadequate transportation systems and infrastructure. As a result, one region has thousands of excess foods, whereas another experiences substantial food losses.

Another factor contributing to this problem is consumer behavior. Many supermarkets, regardless of their size, implement business strategies to compete with other retailers. They promote numerous sales, particularly on food items, to meet the needs of purchasers and find various ways to attract their attention. Buyers often compete for the cheapest products, even when they do not actually need them, resulting in a significant amount of unnecessary food being expired and discarded.

To address this multi-faceted issue, a comprehensive approach is necessary. Consumer education and awareness campaigns can empower individuals to make informed choices and adopt sustainable practices. Encouraging mindful shopping, proper storage, and creative utilization of leftovers can significantly reduce household waste, helping to improve environmental conditions. Moreover, there should be collaboration between governments, businesses, and consumers to enhance overall results. Industrial regulations and self-discipline can help restrict the overproduction occurring in many factories, while investing in food distribution networks can enhance the efficiency of the food supply chain. Additionally, fostering partnerships between food producers, retailers, and consumers can facilitate the redistribution of surplus food to those in need.

In conclusion, if individuals become aware of the detrimental effects of excessive food waste, society will be a better place to live. The complex issue of food waste necessitates a multi-faceted approach, thus requiring comprehensive global attention. By addressing consumer behavior, distribution, and overproduction within the food chain, we can significantly reduce food waste and contribute to a more sustainable and equitable food system.

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