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Everyday, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the world. Why do you think this is happening? And how can we solve this problem?

Everyday, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the world. Why do you think this is happening? And how can we solve this problem?

Food waste is on the rise worldwide. This leads to waste of resources and can cause climate change. So why does it happen and are there any measures to solve it? And finding the cause is the key factor to finding a solution.

The first reason for the rise in the amount of food waste is the increased supply of cheap and readily available food. This encourages people to buy more than they really need. For instance, the Pizza Hut restaurant in my neighbourhood has launched a programma call “Buy 3 get 1 free” which has attracted hundreds of customers. The amount of pizza that is not eaten up will end up in landfills.

Another reason is that in order to deal with busy lifestyles, people tend to buy food for the whole week rather than go to the supermarket on a daily basis. However, some kinds of fruits and vegetables easily become rotten within a few days and then thrown away. In addition, many people do not eat all the food that they have bought because they do not plan meals carefully. This contributes to the increase in the amount of food wasted.

It is important to make a detailed shopping list before going to the supermarket to ensure that we do not make any unnecessary food choices. The government should raise public awareness of the serious consequences of the rising amount of food waste for the environment and people's health. When everyone is fully aware of this, they would think more carefully when it comes to shopping for food.

In conclusion, although wasting food can lead to a number of environmental problems, we can work together to limit and completely solve this problem.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "programma call" -> "program called"
    Explanation: "Programma call" is an unnatural phrase. "Program called" is a more appropriate and grammatically correct alternative, maintaining clarity and formality.

  2. "hundreds of customers" -> "numerous customers"
    Explanation: While "hundreds of customers" is not inherently incorrect, "numerous customers" is a more precise and formal alternative, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

  3. "thrown away" -> "discarded"
    Explanation: "Thrown away" is somewhat informal. "Discarded" is a more formal term commonly used in academic writing, aligning better with the formal tone of the essay.

  4. "do not plan meals carefully" -> "do not carefully plan meals"
    Explanation: Rearranging the phrase to "do not carefully plan meals" maintains the formality of the sentence structure, avoiding the use of contractions and emphasizing the importance of careful meal planning.

  5. "make a detailed shopping list" -> "create a comprehensive shopping list"
    Explanation: "Make a detailed shopping list" could be seen as slightly informal. "Create a comprehensive shopping list" maintains formality while conveying the same meaning, emphasizing the need for thoroughness.

  6. "they would think more carefully" -> "individuals would exercise greater care"
    Explanation: "They would think more carefully" is somewhat colloquial. "Individuals would exercise greater care" is a more formal expression, aligning better with academic style.

  7. "In conclusion, although wasting food can lead to a number of environmental problems, we can work together to limit and completely solve this problem."
    Explanation: While this concluding statement is generally clear, it lacks specificity. A more precise ending could be: "In conclusion, while the escalation of food waste poses significant environmental challenges, concerted efforts can effectively mitigate and ultimately resolve this issue." This alternative conclusion maintains formality while providing a more detailed and nuanced perspective on the topic.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both parts of the prompt. It discusses the reasons behind food waste and proposes solutions to mitigate the problem. The causes are identified as increased food supply and poor meal planning, while solutions are suggested, such as making detailed shopping lists and raising public awareness.
    • How to improve: While the essay does cover both aspects of the question, there is room for improvement in the depth of analysis. Encourage the writer to provide more nuanced explanations for the causes and explore a wider range of potential solutions.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, advocating for increased awareness and better meal planning to address food waste. The stance is consistent and supported by examples, such as the mention of the Pizza Hut promotion and the recommendation for detailed shopping lists.
    • How to improve: The essay could strengthen its position by providing more compelling evidence or examples to support its arguments. Encourage the writer to delve deeper into the consequences of food waste and the benefits of proposed solutions.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas adequately and provides some support through examples and suggestions. However, some ideas could be further developed to enhance the essay’s coherence and depth.
    • How to improve: Encourage the writer to elaborate on each point with more detail and provide additional evidence or examples to bolster their arguments. This will help strengthen the overall argument and provide a more comprehensive analysis of the issue.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by addressing the causes and solutions related to food waste. However, there are minor instances where the discussion could be more focused, such as the brief mention of climate change without further elaboration.
    • How to improve: Encourage the writer to maintain a tighter focus on the main points of the prompt and avoid tangential discussions that do not directly contribute to the central argument. This will ensure that the essay remains coherent and relevant to the topic.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position, there is room for improvement in the depth of analysis, supporting evidence, and focus. Encourage the writer to further develop their ideas, provide more compelling examples, and stay tightly focused on the topic to enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a logical organization by introducing the problem of food waste in the first paragraph, discussing reasons for it in the subsequent paragraphs, and proposing solutions in the final paragraph. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the problem or solution, which aids in clarity and coherence.
    • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph follows a clear topic sentence and transitions smoothly into the next. Additionally, consider providing more development and depth to each point to strengthen the overall argument.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas and aspects of the argument. Each paragraph addresses a specific point related to food waste, such as reasons for its occurrence or proposed solutions, which enhances readability and coherence.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. Additionally, consider varying sentence structure and length within paragraphs to maintain reader engagement.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases ("The first reason," "Another reason," "In addition," "In conclusion") and pronouns ("this," "it"), to connect ideas and create coherence. These devices help guide the reader through the essay and maintain logical flow.
    • How to improve: To further enhance cohesion, consider incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions (e.g., "however," "therefore," "moreover") and synonyms to avoid repetition. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to reinforce connections between ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While there is some variation in terminology used, the vocabulary lacks complexity and sophistication expected at higher band levels. For example, phrases like "the rise in the amount of food waste" and "increased supply of cheap and readily available food" are somewhat repetitive and could be enhanced with more diverse vocabulary choices.
    • How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, aim to incorporate more diverse and nuanced vocabulary. Utilize synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and advanced vocabulary relevant to the topic. Instead of repeatedly using phrases like "the rise in the amount of food waste," explore alternatives such as "escalating food wastage" or "surge in food discard." Additionally, consider incorporating specialized terminology related to food sustainability and waste management to add depth to your arguments.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "in order to deal with busy lifestyles" could be more precisely expressed as "to accommodate hectic schedules." Additionally, the word "programma" seems to be a typographical error and should be corrected to "program."
    • How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, carefully consider the context in which words are employed and strive to select the most fitting terms. Avoid using informal language or colloquialisms that may detract from the academic tone of the essay. Proofread the essay thoroughly to identify and correct any typographical errors or inaccuracies in word choice.
  • Use Correct Spelling:
    • Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is generally acceptable, but there are a few minor errors present. For instance, "programma" should be corrected to "program," and "pizzeria" could be a more appropriate term than "Pizza Hut restaurant." While these errors do not significantly impede comprehension, attention to detail in spelling would enhance the overall professionalism of the essay.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spelling and grammar check tools to identify and correct errors. Additionally, proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help catch any spelling mistakes or typographical errors. Familiarize yourself with commonly misspelled words and practice spelling them correctly in context to reinforce accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, simple sentences like "Food waste is on the rise worldwide" are used alongside compound sentences such as "This encourages people to buy more than they really need." Additionally, there are instances of complex sentences like "Another reason is that in order to deal with busy lifestyles, people tend to buy food for the whole week rather than go to the supermarket on a daily basis."
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as using subordinate clauses or relative clauses to add depth and clarity to your ideas. Additionally, varying the lengths of your sentences can create a more engaging flow in your writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, but there are some errors present. For example, "the Pizza Hut restaurant in my neighbourhood has launched a programma call ‘Buy 3 get 1 free’" contains a misspelling ("programma" instead of "program") and lacks an article before "programma." Additionally, there are instances of subject-verb agreement errors, such as "many people do not eat all the food that they have bought because they do not plan meals carefully."
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, proofread your essay carefully to catch spelling errors and ensure subject-verb agreement. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors. Focus on practicing sentence structure and grammar rules to strengthen your writing skills.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a sufficient range of sentence structures and generally maintains grammatical accuracy, there is room for improvement in both areas. By incorporating more varied sentence structures and focusing on grammatical accuracy, you can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your writing. Keep practicing and seeking feedback to continue refining your writing skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

Food waste is a growing issue globally, resulting in the squandering of valuable resources and contributing to climate change. Understanding why this occurs and implementing effective solutions is crucial in addressing this issue.

One primary reason for the escalation in food wastage is the availability of cheap and easily accessible food. This prompts individuals to purchase more than necessary. For instance, a nearby Pizza Hut restaurant has introduced a program called “Buy 3 get 1 free,” attracting numerous customers. Consequently, uneaten pizza ends up in landfills, contributing to the problem.

Furthermore, busy lifestyles prompt people to buy groceries for the entire week instead of visiting the supermarket daily. However, certain fruits and vegetables spoil quickly and are discarded within days. Additionally, inadequate meal planning leads to uneaten food. To mitigate this, creating a comprehensive shopping list before heading to the supermarket can ensure more prudent food choices.

Public awareness campaigns conducted by the government are essential to highlight the detrimental consequences of food waste on the environment and human health. With increased awareness, individuals would exercise greater care when shopping for food, thereby reducing waste.

In conclusion, although food wastage poses significant environmental challenges, collaborative efforts can limit and ultimately resolve this issue.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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