Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates.
What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

For the time being, climate change and rising sea levels have been a matter of great concern due to their urgency. As the case reveals, this essay is to shed light on the negative effects of such phenomena and propose possible measures.
Admittedly, the gravity of climate change lies in the underlying risks it has on living conditions. To be specific, every increment of global warming is responsible for temperature rise and intense heat waves, making cold parts of the world become hotter and already highly heated regions, take Middle Eastern countries for example, are even more sweltering. It is, consequently, inevitable for loss of habitats together with death tolls from heatstroke in coming years. While the existential issue is progressively worse, an effective countermeasure could be reducing carbon footprints and reliance on fossil fuels. In other words, green energy transition is worthwhile as it keeps the excessive emission of greenhouse gases to a minimum. As an illustration, instead of using traditional power plants in the electricity sector, making use of solar panels and wind turbines from the sun or wind power is encouraged. Additionally, innovating urban design with safe bike lanes and walkable cities which can be seen in Italy or Japan is vitally important to reduce the need for driving.
In terms of rising sea levels, a great concern often encountered is economic losses. Given the high rate of recurrent tidal flooding events, the deterioration of valuable infrastructure such as roads, bridges or railways can be predictable, bringing uncertainty of tourism growth and general safety for citizens. Furthermore, saltwater intrusion is likely to be unavoidable when it comes to repeated coastal inundations. Such phenomenon results in agricultural lands, fisheries and potable water sources being compromised. Unsafe food
and water scarcity potentially threaten public physical health, causing deadly serious diseases such as peptic ulcer or kidney failure. Fortunately, adaptation strategies are selected with a view to preventing the continuously alarming rates of sea level rise. The target is to focus on physical and technical interventions for infrastructure construction, including sea dykes, embankments, dams and canals to control inundations. Additionally, strengthening the planting of coastal protection forests and mangroves is another worthy ecosystem-based adaptation measure.
On the whole, the severity of global changes has given humans food for thought and necessitated immediate measures. Although each problem presents its unique challenges, the effectiveness of solutions provided mostly lies in practical actions and public participation

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"For the time being" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is more precise and formal than "For the time being," which can sound slightly informal and vague in an academic context.
"shed light on" -> "explore"
Explanation: "Explore" is a more direct and academically appropriate term than "shed light on," which can be seen as overly metaphorical and less formal.
"the negative effects of such phenomena" -> "the adverse impacts of these phenomena"
Explanation: "Adverse impacts" is a more precise and formal term than "negative effects," and "these" is more appropriate than "such" when referring to previously mentioned phenomena.
"every increment of global warming" -> "each incremental increase in global warming"
Explanation: "Each incremental increase" is more specific and scientifically accurate than "every increment," which is less precise.
"making cold parts of the world become hotter" -> "resulting in increased temperatures in previously cooler regions"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the causal relationship and uses more formal language suitable for an academic essay.
"already highly heated regions" -> "already extremely hot regions"
Explanation: "Extremely hot" is a more precise and formal way to describe regions with high temperatures.
"sweltering" -> "extremely hot"
Explanation: "Sweltering" is somewhat informal and can be vague; "extremely hot" is more straightforward and appropriate for academic writing.
"inevitable for loss of habitats together with death tolls" -> "inevitable for habitat loss and increased mortality"
Explanation: "Habitat loss and increased mortality" is a more precise and formal way to describe the consequences of climate change.
"green energy transition" -> "transition to renewable energy"
Explanation: "Transition to renewable energy" is a more specific and formal term than "green energy transition," which can be vague.
"making use of solar panels and wind turbines from the sun or wind power" -> "utilizing solar panels and wind turbines powered by solar and wind energy"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the source of power and uses more formal language.
"innovating urban design with safe bike lanes and walkable cities" -> "implementing urban design strategies incorporating safe bike lanes and walkable cities"
Explanation: "Implementing urban design strategies" is more precise and formal than "innovating urban design."
"vitally important" -> "vitally important"
Explanation: Corrects a typographical error.
"recurring tidal flooding events" -> "recurring tidal flooding"
Explanation: "Recurring tidal flooding" is a more concise and formal way to describe the phenomenon.
"bringing uncertainty of tourism growth" -> "posing uncertainty for tourism growth"
Explanation: "Posing uncertainty for" is a more formal and precise way to express the impact on tourism.
"saltwater intrusion" -> "saltwater encroachment"
Explanation: "Saltwater encroachment" is a more technical and precise term commonly used in environmental and scientific contexts.
"peptic ulcer or kidney failure" -> "peptic ulcers and kidney failure"
Explanation: "Peptic ulcers and kidney failure" is grammatically correct and clearer than the original phrase.
"the continuously alarming rates of sea level rise" -> "the increasingly alarming rates of sea level rise"
Explanation: "Increasingly alarming" is a more accurate description of the trend, as "continuously" implies a constant rate, which may not be the case.
"practical actions and public participation" -> "practical measures and public engagement"
Explanation: "Measures" and "engagement" are more formal and precise terms than "actions" and "participation," fitting better in an academic context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the problems associated with global warming and rising sea levels, as well as proposing viable solutions. The issues highlighted include habitat loss due to temperature increases and economic losses due to rising sea levels. Specific examples, such as the impact on Middle Eastern countries and the mention of saltwater intrusion affecting agriculture, demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the problems. The solutions proposed, including a transition to green energy and infrastructure adaptations, are relevant and well-articulated.
- How to improve: To achieve a higher score, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection between the problems and solutions. For instance, after discussing economic losses from rising sea levels, directly linking this to specific adaptation strategies would enhance coherence. Additionally, including more diverse examples of problems and solutions could further enrich the discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position on the urgency of addressing climate change and rising sea levels. The introduction sets a strong tone, and the subsequent paragraphs consistently reflect this stance. Phrases like "the gravity of climate change" and "necessitated immediate measures" reinforce the seriousness of the issues. However, there are moments where the transition between problems and solutions could be smoother, which might momentarily obscure the overall position.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the author could use transitional phrases that explicitly indicate when they are moving from discussing problems to solutions. For example, using phrases like "In response to these challenges" or "To combat these issues" could help guide the reader more effectively through the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas related to the problems of global warming and rising sea levels, extending these ideas with relevant examples and explanations. For instance, the discussion on urban design innovations provides a concrete solution to the problem of reliance on fossil fuels. However, some ideas, particularly regarding the health impacts of food and water scarcity, could be further elaborated to provide a deeper understanding of their significance.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the author could include more detailed examples or case studies that illustrate the effectiveness of the proposed solutions. Additionally, providing statistics or expert opinions could lend further credibility to the arguments presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of global warming and rising sea levels throughout. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, and there are no significant deviations from the prompt. The structure is logical, with clear sections dedicated to problems and solutions.
- How to improve: While the essay is generally on topic, ensuring that each point made directly ties back to the prompt can enhance focus. The author should periodically refer back to the main question to reinforce relevance, particularly when introducing new ideas or examples. This could be achieved by reiterating key terms from the prompt as a reminder to the reader of the essay’s central focus.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the issues related to global warming and rising sea levels, effectively addressing the prompt with relevant examples and solutions. With slight improvements in coherence, elaboration of ideas, and explicit connections to the prompt, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing specific problems and solutions, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the context by stating the urgency of climate change and rising sea levels. Each body paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the topic, such as the effects of climate change and the implications of rising sea levels. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing climate change to rising sea levels feels abrupt, which may disrupt the reader’s understanding of the overall argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing climate change, a sentence like, "In addition to these challenges, rising sea levels pose significant threats that warrant attention," would create a more seamless transition.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in readability. Each paragraph has a clear focus, with the first addressing climate change and the second focusing on rising sea levels. However, the paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that encapsulate the main idea of each paragraph. For example, the second paragraph on rising sea levels could start with a sentence that directly states the economic implications of this issue.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences of each paragraph to clearly outline the main point being discussed. This will help guide the reader and reinforce the structure of the essay. Additionally, consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones to enhance clarity and focus.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "for example," "in other words," and "additionally," which help to link ideas and provide clarity. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded. For instance, the use of conjunctions and referencing could be more varied to avoid repetition. The phrase "such as" is used multiple times, which can make the writing feel formulaic.
- How to improve: Diversify the cohesive devices used throughout the essay. Incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "moreover," "consequently," and "as a result." Additionally, use pronouns and demonstrative adjectives to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help create cohesion and reduce redundancy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, addressing the suggested areas for improvement will enhance the clarity and overall effectiveness of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of global warming and rising sea levels. Terms such as "climate change," "carbon footprints," "green energy transition," and "saltwater intrusion" are effectively utilized. The writer also employs phrases like "negative effects" and "economic losses," which are appropriate for the context. However, some vocabulary choices could be more varied; for instance, the repeated use of "rising" and "concern" could be replaced with synonyms to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate a broader array of synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "rising," alternatives like "increasing," "escalating," or "surging" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases like "environmental challenges" or "ecological threats" could diversify the vocabulary related to the issues discussed.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with a good degree of precision. Phrases such as "green energy transition" and "coastal protection forests" are specific and convey clear meanings. However, there are instances where the precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "the gravity of climate change lies in the underlying risks it has on living conditions" could be more clearly articulated. The word "gravity" might imply seriousness but does not directly convey the nature of the risks involved.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should aim to clarify their statements. Instead of saying "the gravity of climate change lies in the underlying risks," they could say, "the seriousness of climate change is reflected in the significant risks it poses to living conditions." This change not only clarifies the meaning but also strengthens the overall argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the use of vocabulary. Words such as "inundations," "adaptation," and "phenomena" are spelled correctly, demonstrating a solid grasp of spelling conventions.
- How to improve: While the spelling is generally accurate, the writer should continue to proofread their work to catch any potential typos or errors. Engaging in regular spelling practice, such as using flashcards for difficult words or employing spelling apps, can further enhance spelling skills. Additionally, reading widely can help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

In summary, the essay effectively utilizes a wide range of vocabulary with good precision and spelling accuracy, contributing to a solid Band 7 score. By incorporating more varied synonyms, clarifying statements for precision, and maintaining spelling practices, the writer can further enhance their lexical resource in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "To be specific, every increment of global warming is responsible for temperature rise and intense heat waves" effectively convey detailed information. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in "While the existential issue is progressively worse, an effective countermeasure could be reducing carbon footprints," showcases the writer’s ability to express hypothetical scenarios. However, there are instances of less varied structures, such as the repeated use of "is" in several sentences, which can lead to a monotonous rhythm.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more compound-complex sentences and vary the placement of clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "In terms of" or "Additionally," the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses to create a more engaging flow. Experimenting with different sentence beginnings and integrating more varied conjunctions would enhance the overall complexity and interest of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For instance, the phrase "the deterioration of valuable infrastructure such as roads, bridges or railways can be predictable" could be improved by using "predictable" as an adjective rather than a verb form, which would enhance clarity. Punctuation is mostly accurate, although the use of commas could be more consistent, particularly in lists (e.g., "roads, bridges, or railways" should consistently include a comma before "or" for clarity).
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for minor errors and ensuring that all phrases are correctly structured. Additionally, practicing the rules of punctuation, particularly in complex lists and clauses, will enhance clarity. For example, revising sentences to ensure that all elements in a series are clearly delineated with commas can help avoid confusion. Furthermore, the writer could benefit from reviewing subject-verb agreement in more complex sentences to ensure consistency throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, but with targeted improvements in sentence variety and meticulous attention to grammatical details, the writer can achieve an even higher level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

For the time being, climate change and rising sea levels have become a matter of great concern due to their urgency. As the case reveals, this essay aims to explore the adverse impacts of these phenomena and propose possible solutions.

Admittedly, the gravity of climate change lies in the underlying risks it poses to living conditions. To be specific, each incremental increase in global warming is responsible for rising temperatures and intense heat waves, causing previously cooler regions to become hotter. Already extremely hot regions, such as those in the Middle East, are experiencing even more sweltering conditions. Consequently, habitat loss and increased mortality from heat-related illnesses are inevitable in the coming years. While this existential issue is progressively worsening, an effective countermeasure could be reducing carbon footprints and reliance on fossil fuels. In other words, transitioning to renewable energy is vital, as it minimizes the excessive emission of greenhouse gases. For instance, instead of relying on traditional power plants in the electricity sector, utilizing solar panels and wind turbines powered by solar and wind energy is encouraged. Additionally, implementing urban design strategies that incorporate safe bike lanes and walkable cities, as seen in Italy or Japan, is vitally important to reduce the need for driving.

In terms of rising sea levels, a significant concern often encountered is economic losses. Given the increasingly alarming rates of recurring tidal flooding events, the deterioration of valuable infrastructure such as roads, bridges, and railways can be anticipated, posing uncertainty for tourism growth and general safety for citizens. Furthermore, saltwater encroachment is likely to be unavoidable when it comes to repeated coastal inundations. This phenomenon compromises agricultural lands, fisheries, and potable water sources. Unsafe food and water scarcity potentially threaten public health, leading to serious diseases such as peptic ulcers and kidney failure. Fortunately, adaptation strategies can be selected to prevent the continuously alarming rates of sea level rise. The focus should be on physical and technical interventions for infrastructure construction, including sea dykes, embankments, dams, and canals to control inundations. Additionally, strengthening the planting of coastal protection forests and mangroves is another valuable ecosystem-based adaptation measure.

On the whole, the severity of global changes has given humans food for thought and necessitated immediate action. Although each problem presents its unique challenges, the effectiveness of the proposed solutions largely depends on practical measures and public engagement.