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Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans faces in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions.

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans faces in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions.

It is unquestionable that global warming is one of the most pressing issues in the world. This essay will analyze the principal problems and offer solutions to this issue
The foremost problems caused by global warming are flooding of many coastal areas and contamination of groundwater. The most important issue is that sea levels to rising all over the world and consequently coastal cities are now under the threat of getting submerged. If this trend continues, before long, some of the most prosperous and populous coastal cities of the world will soon be underwater. Another problem is global warming can have an impact on agriculture and food security. For instance, floods, and droughts can result in food storage and increased food prices.
In order to resolve global warming, I believe we must first address its root causes. What is needed to combat these problems is can promote sustainable and use practices, such as representation and afforestation. Besides, public authorities must invest in the development of renewable energy technologies, for example, wind and solar power plants, and raise public awareness through education campaigns. Another suggestion is that can mitigate the phenomenon of global warming by adopting eco-friendly habits. This includes reducing waste and conserving water resources.
In conclusion, I believe that this is clearly a problem of such complexity that no solution is likely in the short term. However, I believe that the measures outlined above would constitute a good first step.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "It is unquestionable" -> "It is undeniable"
    Explanation: "Undeniable" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "unquestionable," which can sound overly emphatic and less formal in academic writing.

  2. "the principal problems" -> "the primary issues"
    Explanation: "Primary issues" is a more precise term in academic contexts, as it avoids the colloquial tone of "problems" and aligns better with formal language.

  3. "flooding of many coastal areas" -> "flooding in numerous coastal regions"
    Explanation: "Flooding in numerous coastal regions" is more specific and formal, enhancing the academic tone by using "regions" instead of "areas" and "numerous" instead of "many."

  4. "contamination of groundwater" -> "contamination of groundwater resources"
    Explanation: Adding "resources" specifies the type of groundwater being referred to, enhancing clarity and precision in the context of environmental issues.

  5. "sea levels to rising" -> "sea levels are rising"
    Explanation: Correcting the grammatical error from "to" to "are" improves the sentence structure and clarity.

  6. "getting submerged" -> "being submerged"
    Explanation: "Being submerged" is a more formal and precise term, suitable for academic writing, compared to the more colloquial "getting submerged."

  7. "before long" -> "in the near future"
    Explanation: "In the near future" is a more formal and precise temporal expression, suitable for academic writing.

  8. "global warming can have an impact on" -> "global warming affects"
    Explanation: "Affects" is a more direct and formal verb choice than "can have an impact on," which is somewhat redundant and less direct.

  9. "floods, and droughts" -> "floods and droughts"
    Explanation: Removing the comma after "floods" corrects the grammatical structure, aligning with the parallel structure of the list.

  10. "What is needed to combat these problems is can promote" -> "What is necessary to combat these issues is to promote"
    Explanation: Correcting the grammatical error and replacing "can" with "to" fixes the sentence structure, making it grammatically correct and more formal.

  11. "use practices" -> "practices"
    Explanation: Removing "use" corrects the grammatical error and simplifies the phrase, making it more direct and formal.

  12. "representation and afforestation" -> "reducing emissions and afforestation"
    Explanation: "Reducing emissions" is a more specific and relevant action in the context of combating global warming, replacing the vague and less relevant "representation."

  13. "public authorities must invest in" -> "public authorities should invest in"
    Explanation: "Should" is more appropriate in academic writing than "must," as it suggests recommendation rather than requirement, which is more suitable for policy suggestions.

  14. "raise public awareness through education campaigns" -> "enhance public awareness through educational initiatives"
    Explanation: "Enhance" is a more precise verb than "raise," and "educational initiatives" is a more formal term than "education campaigns."

  15. "can mitigate the phenomenon of global warming" -> "can help mitigate global warming"
    Explanation: "Help mitigate" is a more direct and formal expression, avoiding the redundancy of "the phenomenon of."

  16. "adopting eco-friendly habits" -> "adopting environmentally friendly practices"
    Explanation: "Environmentally friendly practices" is a more formal and precise term than "eco-friendly habits," which is somewhat colloquial.

  17. "This includes reducing waste and conserving water resources" -> "This includes reducing waste and conserving water"
    Explanation: Removing "resources" after "water" corrects the redundancy, as "water" already implies resources in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by identifying problems associated with global warming, such as flooding and agricultural impacts. However, it does not fully explore the breadth of problems or provide a comprehensive range of solutions. For instance, while flooding is mentioned, the essay could benefit from discussing other consequences like displacement of populations or economic impacts. Additionally, the solutions presented are somewhat generic and lack depth; for example, "promote sustainable practices" is vague and could be elaborated with specific examples.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that all aspects of the prompt are thoroughly covered. This includes identifying a wider range of problems and providing specific, actionable solutions. For instance, discussing the role of policy changes or international cooperation could add depth to the solutions section.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general position that global warming is a significant issue, but the clarity of this position fluctuates. Phrases like "I believe" introduce subjectivity that could weaken the argument. The conclusion reiterates the complexity of the problem but does not firmly restate the author’s stance on the urgency of the solutions proposed.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should avoid overly subjective language and instead assert their views more confidently. Consistently using strong, definitive statements can help reinforce the argument. Additionally, summarizing the main points in the conclusion with a clear call to action would strengthen the overall position.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the problems and solutions of global warming, but these ideas are not fully developed. For example, the mention of "contamination of groundwater" is introduced but not elaborated upon. Similarly, the solutions lack specific examples or evidence to support their effectiveness, which diminishes their impact.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. This could involve providing statistics, case studies, or examples that illustrate the problems and the effectiveness of the proposed solutions. For instance, discussing specific countries that have successfully implemented renewable energy solutions could provide a stronger basis for the argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on global warming and its associated problems. However, some sentences contain grammatical errors that distract from the main points, such as "What is needed to combat these problems is can promote sustainable and use practices." This not only confuses the reader but also detracts from the overall coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each sentence is grammatically correct and clearly conveys its intended message. Additionally, reviewing the essay for any off-topic sentences or unclear phrases will help maintain clarity and relevance throughout the text.

Overall, the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic but requires more depth, clarity, and coherence to achieve a higher band score. Addressing these areas will significantly enhance the quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the intention to discuss problems and solutions. The body paragraphs follow a clear progression, identifying major issues associated with global warming, such as flooding and agricultural impacts, before transitioning to potential solutions. However, the connection between problems and solutions could be more explicitly stated. For example, the paragraph discussing problems could have included a brief mention of how each problem leads to the proposed solutions.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer could use topic sentences that clearly link problems to their corresponding solutions. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases such as "In response to this issue," or "To address the flooding problem," would create a more cohesive relationship between the points made.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the topic. However, the second body paragraph could be divided into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on the problems and another on solutions. This would provide clearer delineation and allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
    • How to improve: The writer should consider breaking down complex ideas into smaller, more digestible paragraphs. For instance, separating the discussion of problems (flooding and agricultural issues) from the solutions (sustainable practices and renewable energy) would enhance clarity. Each paragraph should ideally start with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "In order to resolve" and "Another problem is." However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices is either repetitive or awkward, such as "this includes reducing waste and conserving water resources," which could be better integrated into the flow of ideas. The essay also lacks more varied cohesive devices that could enhance the overall coherence.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," "Consequently," and "As a result." This would not only improve the flow of the essay but also help to clarify relationships between ideas. Practicing the use of different cohesive devices in various contexts can help the writer become more comfortable with their application.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, there are areas for improvement that could elevate the writing to a higher band score. By focusing on clearer organization, effective paragraphing, and a broader range of cohesive devices, the writer can enhance the clarity and impact of their arguments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary related to the topic of global warming, with terms such as "flooding," "contamination," "sustainable," and "afforestation." However, the vocabulary issomewhat repetitive, particularly in the phrases used to describe the problems associated with global warming. For example, the term "problems" is used multiple times without variation, which limits the lexical diversity.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. Instead of repeatedly using "problems," alternatives like "challenges," "issues," or "concerns" could be employed. Additionally, using more specific terms related to environmental science or policy could enrich the essay, such as "climate change mitigation" or "biodiversity loss."
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "sea levels to rising," which should be corrected to "sea levels are rising." This grammatical error affects the clarity of the message. Additionally, phrases like "food storage" are vague; it is unclear whether the writer means "food shortages" or "food storage practices."
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity. Regularly reviewing sentence structures and ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects can help. Furthermore, clarifying terms like "food storage" by using more specific phrases would enhance understanding. For example, replacing it with "food shortages due to extreme weather events" would provide clearer meaning.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "representation," which likely should be "reforestation," and "storage," which is used inappropriately in context. These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and may confuse readers.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as reading extensively and using spell-check tools. Additionally, creating a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can be beneficial. Proofreading the essay multiple times before submission can help catch these errors, ensuring that the final draft is polished and free from spelling mistakes.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and employs some relevant vocabulary, there are clear areas for improvement in lexical resource. By expanding vocabulary range, ensuring precise usage, and correcting spelling errors, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the opening sentence, "It is unquestionable that global warming is one of the most pressing issues in the world," effectively uses a complex structure to convey a strong opinion. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as "Another problem is global warming can have an impact on agriculture and food security," which lacks variety and clarity. The phrase "In order to resolve global warming, I believe we must first address its root causes" is another example of a complex structure that is effective but could be diversified further.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentences with subordinate clauses and varied conjunctions. For instance, instead of "Another problem is global warming can have an impact on agriculture," the writer could say, "In addition to rising sea levels, global warming poses a significant threat to agriculture by disrupting weather patterns." This not only adds variety but also improves clarity.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors. For example, "sea levels to rising" should be corrected to "sea levels are rising." Additionally, the phrase "what is needed to combat these problems is can promote sustainable and use practices" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The use of commas is inconsistent, as seen in "floods, and droughts can result in food storage," where the comma before "and" is unnecessary.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and sentence clarity. A thorough proofreading process can help identify and correct errors. Furthermore, practicing the construction of sentences with different subjects and verbs can enhance grammatical precision. The writer could also benefit from reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in lists and before conjunctions.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is undeniable that global warming is one of the most pressing issues in the world today. This essay will analyze the primary problems associated with this phenomenon and offer potential solutions.

The foremost problems caused by global warming are flooding in numerous coastal regions and the contamination of groundwater resources. The most significant issue is that sea levels are rising all over the world, and consequently, coastal cities are now under the threat of being submerged. If this trend continues, in the near future, some of the most prosperous and populous coastal cities will likely be underwater. Another problem is that global warming can adversely affect agriculture and food security. For instance, floods and droughts can lead to food shortages and increased food prices.

In order to combat global warming, I believe we must first address its root causes. What is necessary to tackle these issues is to promote sustainable practices, such as reducing emissions and afforestation. Additionally, public authorities should invest in the development of renewable energy technologies, such as wind and solar power plants, and enhance public awareness through educational initiatives. Another suggestion is that adopting environmentally friendly practices can help mitigate global warming. This includes reducing waste and conserving water resources.

In conclusion, I believe that this is clearly a problem of such complexity that no solution is likely to be found in the short term. However, I am confident that the measures outlined above would constitute a good first step towards addressing this critical issue.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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