Global warming is one of the biggest threats to our environment. What causes global warming? What solutions are there to this problem?

Global warming is one of the biggest threats to our environment.
What causes global warming?
What solutions are there to this problem?

Global warming has been one of the most pressing issues, puzzling humanity over the past few decades. Although there are a myriad of factors contributing to this phenomenon, most of them are human-induced, including the burning of fossil fuel and deforestation. Thus, it is urgent that solutions be devised to tackle this lingering problem.

One of the primary causes of global warming is the burning of fossil fuel. As the world experiences technological advancements, there is a greater demand for energy, which is mostly derived from natural sources such as coal, oil and wood, leading to large amounts of CO2 emitted into the atmosphere. These CO2 emissions, coupled with other greenhouse gases, trap heat from the sun, thus immensely increasing Earth’s surface temperature. Another culprit is deforestation. Forests tend to absorb CO2 and moderate the temperature: therefore, they play a vital role in slowing down global warming. However, the loss of forested zones for industries such as logging or mining has disrupted, or even hindered this cooling process. As a result, this brings about a growing number in barren hills, sparing no shades to lower the temperature in those areas.

Considering the context of the planet’s heating up, there are some feasible solutions that can be implemented. The first solution is transition to renewable energy. As it is now within humans’ grasp to modify the present use of fossil fuel as the main sources of energy into other eco friendly ones such as solar, wind or hydroelectric energy, it is promising that by this transformation would be beneficial to dramatically mitigating fossil fuel consumption and reducing the harmful effects of CO2 emissions on the planet. For example, the installations of hydroelectric dams to replace thermal power plants have proved effective in lessening the burning of coal in such countries as Vietnam and China, thus both ensuring energy security and limiting CO2 emissions into the atmosphere. Strengthening legislative systems to prevent excessive logging would be another plausible solution to global warming. By propagating laws that restrict the over-exploitation of wood, governments could, therefore, balance between the economic benefits and dealing with deforestation crisis as well as coming up with blueprints for reforestation plans in those areas. This is vividly exemplified by the implementation of carbon credits through which CO2 emissions from industries are offset by the replanting of forests.

In conclusion, the burning of fossil fuel and deforestation are among the main causes of global warming. By adopting measures such as transition to green and renewable sources of energy and enacting laws to limit overlogging, people can take one step further towards a sustainable future.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "puzzling humanity" -> "posing a challenge to humanity"
   Explanation: The phrase "puzzling humanity" is somewhat informal and vague. "Posing a challenge to humanity" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.

2. "a myriad of factors" -> "a multitude of factors"
   Explanation: "A myriad" is less commonly used in formal writing and can be seen as slightly archaic. "A multitude" is more contemporary and appropriate for academic texts.

3. "Thus, it is urgent that" -> "Therefore, it is imperative that"
   Explanation: "Thus" is somewhat informal and vague; "therefore" is more direct and formal. "Imperative" is stronger than "urgent" in emphasizing the necessity of action.

4. "the burning of fossil fuel" -> "the combustion of fossil fuels"
   Explanation: "Burning" is a less formal term; "combustion" is more precise and academically appropriate.

5. "immensely increasing" -> "significantly increasing"
   Explanation: "Immensely" is an emotional and less precise term; "significantly" is neutral and more suitable for formal writing.

6. "trap heat from the sun" -> "absorb solar radiation"
   Explanation: "Trap heat from the sun" is colloquial; "absorb solar radiation" is scientifically precise and formal.

7. "growing number in barren hills" -> "increasing number of barren hills"
   Explanation: "Growing number in" is awkward and unclear; "increasing number of" is grammatically correct and clearer.

8. "spare no shades" -> "provide no shade"
   Explanation: "Spare no shades" is incorrect and unclear; "provide no shade" is the correct phrase and more formal.

9. "it is now within humans’ grasp" -> "it is now feasible"
   Explanation: "Within humans’ grasp" is metaphorical and less formal; "feasible" is straightforward and appropriate for academic writing.

10. "would be beneficial to dramatically mitigating" -> "would significantly mitigate"
    Explanation: "Would be beneficial to dramatically mitigating" is awkward and verbose; "would significantly mitigate" is concise and maintains formality.

11. "the installations of hydroelectric dams" -> "the installation of hydroelectric dams"
    Explanation: "The installations of" is grammatically incorrect; "the installation of" is the correct form.

12. "propagating laws" -> "promulgating laws"
    Explanation: "Propagating" is incorrect in this context; "promulgating" is the correct term for introducing or publishing laws.

13. "dealing with deforestation crisis" -> "addressing the deforestation crisis"
    Explanation: "Dealing with" is informal and vague; "addressing" is more precise and formal.

14. "coming up with blueprints for reforestation plans" -> "developing blueprints for reforestation plans"
    Explanation: "Coming up with" is informal; "developing" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt regarding the causes of global warming and potential solutions. The author identifies human-induced factors such as the burning of fossil fuels and deforestation as primary causes, providing a clear explanation of how these contribute to global warming. The solutions proposed, including a transition to renewable energy and legislative measures to combat deforestation, are relevant and well-articulated. However, while the essay mentions several solutions, it could benefit from a more comprehensive exploration of additional solutions, such as carbon capture technology or public awareness campaigns.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could include a wider range of solutions and provide more depth in discussing each one. For instance, elaborating on how public awareness initiatives can drive change or discussing the role of international agreements like the Paris Accord would provide a more rounded answer.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, emphasizing the urgency of addressing global warming. The introduction sets the tone by stating the problem and the need for solutions, and this is consistently reinforced in the body paragraphs. The use of phrases like "it is urgent" and "this brings about a growing number" indicates a strong stance on the issue. However, there are moments where the language could be more assertive, especially when discussing the solutions, which might come across as somewhat tentative.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the author could use more definitive language when discussing solutions. For example, instead of saying "it is promising that by this transformation would be beneficial," the author could assert, "this transformation will dramatically mitigate fossil fuel consumption." This would enhance the persuasive quality of the argument.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly and supports them with relevant examples. The discussion of fossil fuels and deforestation is well-supported by explanations of their impacts. The examples provided, such as the effectiveness of hydroelectric dams in Vietnam and China, are pertinent and illustrate the points made. However, some ideas could be further extended; for instance, the discussion on legislative measures could include specific examples of successful laws or policies implemented in various countries.
  • How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the author should aim to provide more specific examples and data where possible. For instance, citing statistics on the reduction of emissions due to renewable energy adoption or referencing specific countries that have successfully implemented reforestation initiatives would add credibility and depth to the argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of global warming, its causes, and solutions throughout. The structure is logical, with clear transitions between the identification of causes and the discussion of solutions. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the content remains relevant to the prompt. However, there are minor instances where the language could be more concise, which would enhance clarity.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the author should strive for conciseness in language. For example, phrases like "the loss of forested zones for industries such as logging or mining has disrupted, or even hindered this cooling process" could be simplified to "deforestation for logging and mining disrupts this cooling process." This would streamline the argument and keep the reader engaged without losing essential information.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the causes and solutions to global warming, meriting a high band score. With some refinements in depth, clarity, and conciseness, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas. It begins with an introduction that outlines the topic and the main points to be discussed. The first body paragraph effectively identifies and explains the primary causes of global warming, specifically the burning of fossil fuels and deforestation. Each cause is elaborated upon with relevant details, making the argument coherent. The second body paragraph transitions smoothly into discussing solutions, maintaining a logical flow from identifying problems to proposing remedies. The use of transitional phrases such as "Considering the context" helps guide the reader through the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance the logical flow further, the essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. For instance, explicitly stating the focus of the second paragraph (e.g., "The solutions to combat global warming include…") would reinforce the structure and guide the reader more effectively.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay is well-paragraphed, with distinct sections for the introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, which aids in clarity and readability. The first body paragraph is dedicated to causes, while the second addresses solutions, demonstrating a clear separation of ideas.
  • How to improve: While the paragraphing is effective, the essay could improve by ensuring that each paragraph begins with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. This would provide immediate context for the reader. Additionally, the conclusion could briefly summarize the key points discussed in the body paragraphs to reinforce the overall argument.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions ("and," "but"), referencing ("this," "these"), and transitional phrases ("as a result," "for example"). These devices effectively connect ideas within and between paragraphs, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. The use of specific examples, like the mention of hydroelectric dams in Vietnam and China, enhances the clarity of the argument.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the essay could incorporate more varied linking phrases and synonyms to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "therefore" or "as a result," the writer could use alternatives like "consequently" or "thus." Additionally, integrating more complex cohesive devices, such as "not only… but also" constructions, could enhance the sophistication of the writing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing information and using cohesive devices to guide the reader through the argument. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can elevate the clarity and sophistication of their writing even further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of global warming. Terms such as "human-induced," "technological advancements," "greenhouse gases," and "renewable energy" are appropriately used and contribute to the overall clarity of the argument. However, there are instances where more varied synonyms could enhance the richness of the vocabulary. For example, the phrase "burning of fossil fuel" is repeated without variation, which could be improved by using alternatives like "combustion of fossil fuels" or "fossil fuel consumption."
  • How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms. Keeping a thesaurus handy while drafting can help identify alternative expressions. Additionally, practicing paraphrasing sentences can build flexibility in vocabulary use.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where precision could be improved. For instance, the phrase "a myriad of factors" is somewhat vague; a more precise term such as "numerous factors" or "various factors" could convey the intended meaning more clearly. Additionally, the phrase "the loss of forested zones for industries such as logging or mining has disrupted" could be more precise by specifying how it disrupts, such as "has significantly reduced the capacity of forests to absorb CO2."
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on the specific impacts or characteristics of the vocabulary used. Engaging in exercises that require defining terms in context can help sharpen this skill. Furthermore, reading high-quality articles on environmental issues can provide insights into precise language usage.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text. Words such as "deforestation," "technological," and "environment" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of standard English spelling conventions. However, the phrase "eco friendly" should be hyphenated as "eco-friendly" to adhere to standard usage.
  • How to improve: To maintain and enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, focusing on commonly confused words and ensuring correct hyphenation. Utilizing spell-check tools and engaging in regular writing practice can also help reinforce spelling skills.

Overall, the essay effectively communicates the issues surrounding global warming and presents solutions with a solid command of vocabulary. By focusing on enhancing lexical variety, precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, it effectively employs complex sentences, such as "As the world experiences technological advancements, there is a greater demand for energy, which is mostly derived from natural sources such as coal, oil and wood," showcasing the ability to connect ideas fluidly. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in "by this transformation would be beneficial," indicates a strong grasp of grammatical complexity. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the phrase "this brings about a growing number in barren hills" could be restructured for clarity and impact.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences and varying the placement of clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "One of the primary causes," you might begin with a dependent clause or an introductory phrase to create more dynamic openings. Additionally, using inversion for emphasis in certain sentences could enhance the overall complexity and interest of the writing.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "the installations of hydroelectric dams to replace thermal power plants have proved effective" is grammatically correct, but the plural form "installations" could be more effectively matched with "the installation" for singular consistency. Punctuation is mostly accurate, though there are a few instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as after introductory phrases or before conjunctions in compound sentences.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistency in number (singular vs. plural). For punctuation, practice using commas to separate clauses and enhance readability. For example, revising "By propagating laws that restrict the over-exploitation of wood, governments could, therefore, balance between the economic benefits and dealing with deforestation crisis" to "By propagating laws that restrict the over-exploitation of wood, governments could therefore balance the economic benefits with addressing the deforestation crisis" would clarify the sentence structure and improve flow. Regularly reviewing punctuation rules and practicing with complex sentences can also help solidify these skills.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a high band score. By focusing on further diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision, the writer can aim for an even higher level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

Global warming has been one of the most pressing issues, posing a challenge to humanity over the past few decades. Although there are a multitude of factors contributing to this phenomenon, most of them are human-induced, including the combustion of fossil fuels and deforestation. Therefore, it is imperative that solutions be devised to tackle this lingering problem.

One of the primary causes of global warming is the combustion of fossil fuels. As the world experiences technological advancements, there is a greater demand for energy, which is mostly derived from natural sources such as coal, oil, and wood, leading to large amounts of CO2 emitted into the atmosphere. These CO2 emissions, coupled with other greenhouse gases, trap heat from the sun, thus significantly increasing Earth’s surface temperature. Another culprit is deforestation. Forests tend to absorb CO2 and moderate the temperature; therefore, they play a vital role in slowing down global warming. However, the loss of forested zones for industries such as logging or mining has disrupted, or even hindered, this cooling process. As a result, this brings about an increasing number of barren hills, providing no shade to lower the temperature in those areas.

Considering the context of the planet’s heating up, there are some feasible solutions that can be implemented. The first solution is the transition to renewable energy. As it is now feasible for humans to modify the present use of fossil fuels as the main sources of energy into other eco-friendly ones such as solar, wind, or hydroelectric energy, it is promising that this transformation would significantly mitigate fossil fuel consumption and reduce the harmful effects of CO2 emissions on the planet. For example, the installation of hydroelectric dams to replace thermal power plants has proved effective in lessening the burning of coal in countries such as Vietnam and China, thus both ensuring energy security and limiting CO2 emissions into the atmosphere. Strengthening legislative systems to prevent excessive logging would be another plausible solution to global warming. By promulgating laws that restrict the over-exploitation of wood, governments could, therefore, balance the economic benefits with addressing the deforestation crisis, as well as developing blueprints for reforestation plans in those areas. This is vividly exemplified by the implementation of carbon credits, through which CO2 emissions from industries are offset by the replanting of forests.

In conclusion, the combustion of fossil fuels and deforestation are among the main causes of global warming. By adopting measures such as the transition to green and renewable sources of energy and enacting laws to limit overlogging, people can take one step further towards a sustainable future.