Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?
Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can
governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?
One of the most pressing environmental problems that the globe is confronting these days is global warming. This essay will examine the primary causes of this and suggest possible solutions to this problem.
There are two main causes of global warming. The first one is the clearance of forests. It is widely known that trees help absorb carbon dioxide in the air and release oxygen into the atmosphere, and thus, slow climate change. However, with large areas of forests being cut down for different purposes, carbon dioxide and other heat-trapping gases will continue to rise, contributing to global warming. Another reason is burning fossil fuels. In recent decades, power plants and private vehicles, for example, have burned vast quantities of fossil fuels, releasing huge amounts of carbon dioxide into the air. This concentration of carbon dioxide acts as a roof of a greenhouse, trapping heat and warming the earth.
Various measures can be taken to address this issue. One solution would be for the government to impose stricter punishments for illegal logging to make sure that forests are properly managed and protected. Another measure would be to encourage power stations and automobile manufacturers to gradually switch to more environmentally-friendly energy sources, such as nuclear or renewable energy, to reduce their dependence on fossil fuels. As individuals, we can help mitigate global warming by making small changes in our everyday lives, such as planting more trees in our gardens, taking public transport, cycling or walking to work instead of using our private vehicles. By taking these actions, this problem would be properly tackled.
In conclusion, there are two primary reasons why the earth is getting warmer, and a number of actions can be taken to tackle this problem.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"the globe is confronting" -> "the world is facing"
Explanation: "Confronting" is somewhat informal and less precise in this context. "Facing" is more commonly used in formal academic writing to describe dealing with challenges or issues. -
"the primary causes of this" -> "the primary causes of global warming"
Explanation: Adding "global warming" clarifies what "this" refers to, enhancing the sentence’s specificity and clarity. -
"the clearance of forests" -> "the deforestation of forests"
Explanation: "Deforestation" is the more precise and commonly used term in environmental contexts, whereas "clearance" can be vague and less specific. -
"It is widely known that" -> "It is well established that"
Explanation: "It is well established that" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase, suggesting a broader consensus and a more scholarly tone. -
"slow climate change" -> "mitigate climate change"
Explanation: "Mitigate" is a more precise term in this context, indicating to reduce or reduce the severity of climate change, which is more accurate than "slow." -
"with large areas of forests being cut down" -> "with extensive deforestation"
Explanation: "Extensive deforestation" is a more concise and formal way to describe the widespread clearing of forests. -
"burning fossil fuels" -> "the combustion of fossil fuels"
Explanation: "The combustion of fossil fuels" is a more precise and formal term, suitable for academic writing. -
"huge amounts of carbon dioxide" -> "substantial amounts of carbon dioxide"
Explanation: "Substantial" is a more formal and precise adjective than "huge," which can be seen as colloquial. -
"acts as a roof of a greenhouse" -> "functions as a greenhouse gas"
Explanation: "Functions as a greenhouse gas" is a more accurate and scientifically precise description of the role of carbon dioxide in the greenhouse effect. -
"impose stricter punishments" -> "enact stricter regulations"
Explanation: "Enact stricter regulations" is a more formal and precise term, suitable for policy-related discussions in academic writing. -
"make sure that forests are properly managed and protected" -> "ensure the proper management and protection of forests"
Explanation: "Ensure the proper management and protection of forests" is a more formal and concise way to express the idea. -
"encourage power stations and automobile manufacturers" -> "encourage power plants and automotive manufacturers"
Explanation: "Power plants" and "automotive manufacturers" are more specific and technically accurate terms than "power stations" and "automobile manufacturers." -
"to reduce their dependence on fossil fuels" -> "to decrease their reliance on fossil fuels"
Explanation: "Decrease their reliance on" is a more formal and precise way to describe reducing dependence. -
"making small changes in our everyday lives" -> "implementing minor changes in our daily routines"
Explanation: "Implementing minor changes in our daily routines" is more formal and precise, fitting the academic style better than "making small changes in our everyday lives." -
"this problem would be properly tackled" -> "this issue can be effectively addressed"
Explanation: "Can be effectively addressed" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to express the potential resolution of the issue.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively identifies and discusses two main causes of global warming: deforestation and the burning of fossil fuels. Each cause is clearly articulated with relevant explanations, such as the role of trees in carbon dioxide absorption and the impact of fossil fuel combustion on greenhouse gas concentrations. Additionally, the essay proposes several measures that both governments and individuals can take to combat global warming, addressing both aspects of the prompt. However, while the causes are well-explained, the solutions could benefit from a broader range of examples, particularly regarding government measures.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples of successful policies or initiatives from various countries that have effectively addressed these issues. This would provide a more comprehensive view of potential solutions and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently focusing on the causes and solutions to global warming. The introduction sets the stage well, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points without introducing any new ideas. The logical flow of the essay supports the clarity of the position taken.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could further strengthen its argument by explicitly stating the significance of addressing global warming in the introduction. This could involve a brief mention of the potential consequences of inaction, which would underscore the urgency of the issue and reinforce the importance of the proposed solutions.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented clearly, with each cause and solution elaborated upon. The essay effectively explains how deforestation and fossil fuel use contribute to global warming, and it provides practical solutions for both governments and individuals. However, some points, such as the mention of "stricter punishments for illegal logging," could benefit from further elaboration on how these measures would be implemented and their potential effectiveness.
- How to improve: To improve the depth of the argument, the essay could include statistics or studies that highlight the impact of deforestation and fossil fuel consumption on global warming. Additionally, discussing potential challenges in implementing the proposed solutions would provide a more nuanced perspective and demonstrate critical thinking.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of global warming throughout, with all content relevant to the causes and solutions. There are no significant deviations from the main subject, which contributes to the overall coherence of the response.
- How to improve: To further ensure that the essay stays on topic, the writer could include a brief mention of the broader implications of global warming, such as its effects on biodiversity or human health. This would not only reinforce the relevance of the discussion but also provide a more comprehensive understanding of why addressing global warming is crucial.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively addresses the prompt. With some enhancements in examples, elaboration, and depth, it could achieve an even higher score in the Task Response criteria.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured, presenting a clear introduction, body paragraphs that logically follow the introduction, and a concise conclusion. The causes of global warming are presented in a coherent manner, with each cause clearly delineated and explained. For instance, the transition from discussing deforestation to fossil fuel consumption is smooth, maintaining the reader’s understanding of the topic. However, while the organization is strong, the essay could benefit from more explicit connections between the causes and the proposed solutions, which would enhance the logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link causes to their respective solutions. For example, after discussing deforestation, you could introduce the solutions with a phrase like, "To combat the effects of deforestation, governments could…" This would create a clearer connection between the problems and the proposed measures.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability and comprehension. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the topic: the introduction sets the stage, the first body paragraph discusses causes, the second body paragraph outlines solutions, and the conclusion summarizes the main points. This clear paragraphing contributes to the overall coherence of the essay. However, the final paragraph could be more developed to reinforce the main arguments rather than simply restating them.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, consider expanding the conclusion to include a brief summary of the key points discussed in the body paragraphs. This could involve reiterating the importance of addressing both causes and solutions, thus reinforcing the essay’s main arguments and leaving the reader with a strong final impression.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "however," "another reason," and "for example," which help to connect ideas and maintain the flow of information. These devices are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument. Nonetheless, the range of cohesive devices could be broadened to include more sophisticated linking words and phrases that indicate contrast, addition, or cause and effect, which would enhance the overall cohesiveness of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating phrases such as "in addition," "consequently," or "on the other hand" to provide clearer connections between ideas. For instance, when transitioning from discussing causes to solutions, you might say, "Consequently, to mitigate these effects, various measures can be taken." This not only improves cohesion but also enriches the overall complexity of the writing.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on enhancing logical connections, expanding paragraph content, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher level of clarity and sophistication.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of global warming. Terms such as "pressing environmental problems," "clearance of forests," and "heat-trapping gases" show an attempt to use topic-specific language. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "global warming" and "carbon dioxide," which appear multiple times without variation. This limits the lexical diversity that could enhance the essay’s overall quality.
- How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "global warming," alternatives like "climate change" or "rising temperatures" could be used. Similarly, instead of "carbon dioxide," terms like "greenhouse gases" or "CO2 emissions" could diversify the vocabulary.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "acts as a roof of a greenhouse" is a metaphorical expression that may confuse readers; it would be clearer to say that carbon dioxide "creates a greenhouse effect." Additionally, the term "environmentally-friendly energy sources" is somewhat vague; more specific terms like "renewable energy" or "sustainable energy" would enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using specific terms that convey exact meanings. Reviewing phrases for clarity and ensuring that metaphors or analogies are well understood can help. Additionally, incorporating more technical vocabulary related to environmental science could strengthen the argument.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the majority of the text. Words like "environmental," "confronting," and "solutions" are spelled correctly, which contributes positively to the overall impression of the essay. However, the phrase "power stations and automobile manufacturers" could be improved by ensuring consistent use of hyphenation or compound forms, though this is more stylistic than a spelling error.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice with spelling exercises, especially focusing on commonly misspelled words in academic writing. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers or proofreading software can also help catch any overlooked errors before submission. Additionally, reading extensively can improve familiarity with correct spelling in context.
Overall, while the essay meets the basic requirements for lexical resource, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling practices to achieve a higher band score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "It is widely known that trees help absorb carbon dioxide in the air and release oxygen into the atmosphere, and thus, slow climate change" showcases the writer’s ability to convey detailed information effectively. However, there are instances where the sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the phrase "Another reason is burning fossil fuels" could be expanded into a more complex structure to add depth.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentences that combine ideas or use different clauses. For example, instead of stating "Another reason is burning fossil fuels," the writer could say, "In addition to deforestation, the burning of fossil fuels, which has significantly increased in recent decades, also plays a crucial role in exacerbating global warming." This approach not only diversifies the structure but also adds complexity to the argument.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains good grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For example, the phrase "this problem would be properly tackled" in the last paragraph could be misinterpreted due to the conditional structure; it implies that the actions are hypothetical rather than a call to action. Additionally, punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "for example" in the sentence "power plants and private vehicles, for example, have burned vast quantities of fossil fuels."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review the use of conditional structures to ensure they convey the intended meaning. Furthermore, practicing the placement of commas in complex sentences can help clarify the relationships between ideas. For instance, revising the sentence to include a comma before "for example" would improve readability: "In recent decades, power plants and private vehicles, for example, have burned vast quantities of fossil fuels, releasing huge amounts of carbon dioxide into the air." Regular practice with grammar exercises focusing on conditional sentences and punctuation rules can also aid in enhancing overall accuracy.
Bài sửa mẫu
One of the most pressing environmental problems that the world is facing today is global warming. This essay will examine the primary causes of this issue and suggest possible solutions.
There are two main causes of global warming. The first is the deforestation of forests. It is well established that trees help absorb carbon dioxide in the air and release oxygen into the atmosphere, thus slowing climate change. However, with extensive deforestation occurring for various purposes, carbon dioxide and other heat-trapping gases will continue to rise, contributing to global warming. Another reason is the combustion of fossil fuels. In recent decades, power plants and private vehicles, for example, have burned substantial amounts of fossil fuels, releasing huge amounts of carbon dioxide into the air. This concentration of carbon dioxide functions as a greenhouse gas, trapping heat and warming the Earth.
Various measures can be taken to address this issue. One solution would be for the government to enact stricter regulations against illegal logging to ensure the proper management and protection of forests. Another measure would be to encourage power plants and automotive manufacturers to gradually switch to more environmentally friendly energy sources, such as nuclear or renewable energy, to decrease their reliance on fossil fuels. As individuals, we can help mitigate climate change by implementing minor changes in our daily routines, such as planting more trees in our gardens, taking public transport, cycling, or walking to work instead of using our private vehicles. By taking these actions, this issue can be effectively addressed.
In conclusion, there are two primary causes of global warming, and a number of actions can be taken to tackle this problem.