Globalization has both advantages and disadvantages. Discuss both and give your opinion.

Over the past century, globalization has transformed the world's political, economic, social and cultural landscapes. However beneficial this trend may seem, it is not without controversy. This essay will delve into the pros and cons of globalization and present my perspective on whether the advantages. outweigh the disadvantages. advantages
It is widely acknowledged that the boons and blessings of internationalization are plentiful. Greater transnational trade and investment foster economic ties and development, thus reducing poverty and optimizing each country's specific comparative advantage, be it labor, natural resources or technological advancements. Moreover, the interdependence of countries, reflected in the bilateral and global trade turnover or cash flows, is an important pillar in the preservation of peace, beside the traditional mechanisms of balance of power and the promotion of democracy. Thanks to the creation of multilateral institutions such as the United Nations, World Bank, IMF, the pursuit of social stability and economic progress is further promoted for the achievement of the millennium development goals.
However, globalization also brings challenges to governments and citizens of the 21" century. It is too soon to conclude that the monetary benefits of globalization are distributed equitably across different regions and economic agents. Many white-collar workers of the developed world face the existential threat of the outsourcing of labor, while those of the developing nations benefit from more job opportunities. Another issue of much concern in recent decades is base erosion and profit shifting, caused by the presence of tax havens and legal loopholes exploited by multinational companies. This worrisome phenomenon reduces tax revenues of governments and gives rise to inequities in the business landscape. Terrorism, espionage and humanitarian crises are also aggravated by greater migration and movement of people in the globalized
world.
In conclusion, while the benefits of globalization abound, this prevailing trend of the modern age is not without drawbacks. My personal view is that without proper governing strategies, the negative aspects of globalization may outnumber the economic gains and improved security brought about by greater international cooperation.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Over the past century" -> "Over the past century and a half"
Explanation: Adding "and a half" provides a more precise time frame, enhancing the specificity and formality of the statement.
"transformed the world’s political, economic, social and cultural landscapes" -> "radically transformed the global political, economic, social, and cultural landscapes"
Explanation: "Radically" intensifies the impact of the transformation, aligning better with the academic tone and emphasizing the profound nature of the changes.
"However beneficial this trend may seem" -> "However, this trend may appear beneficial"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "However" corrects the punctuation, and changing "seem" to "appear" uses a more formal verb.
"delve into the pros and cons" -> "examine the advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: "Examine" is more formal and precise than "delve into," and "advantages and disadvantages" is a more academic way of phrasing than "pros and cons."
"the boons and blessings" -> "the benefits"
Explanation: "Benefits" is a more straightforward and formal term compared to the more colloquial "boons and blessings."
"be it labor, natural resources or technological advancements" -> "whether labor, natural resources, or technological advancements"
Explanation: "Whether" is more precise and formal than "be it," and the commas improve readability and clarity.
"beside the traditional mechanisms of balance of power" -> "in addition to traditional mechanisms of balance of power"
Explanation: "In addition to" is more precise and formal than "beside," which is somewhat vague and informal in this context.
"the pursuit of social stability and economic progress" -> "the pursuit of social stability and economic development"
Explanation: "Development" is a more specific and academically appropriate term than "progress," which can be too vague.
"It is too soon to conclude" -> "It is premature to conclude"
Explanation: "Premature" is a more formal and precise term than "too soon," which is somewhat colloquial.
"Many white-collar workers" -> "Numerous white-collar workers"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more formal and precise than "many," which is somewhat informal for academic writing.
"existential threat" -> "existential threat to their livelihoods"
Explanation: Adding "to their livelihoods" clarifies the impact on the workers, enhancing the specificity and formality of the statement.
"base erosion and profit shifting" -> "base erosion and profit shifting practices"
Explanation: Adding "practices" specifies the nature of the issue, making the term more precise and formal.
"worrisome phenomenon" -> "concerning phenomenon"
Explanation: "Concerning" is a more formal synonym for "worrisome," aligning better with academic style.
"gives rise to inequities" -> "leads to inequities"
Explanation: "Leads to" is a more direct and formal expression than "gives rise to," which can be seen as slightly more colloquial.
"aggravated by greater migration" -> "exacerbated by increased migration"
Explanation: "Exacerbated" is a more precise and formal term than "aggravated," and "increased" is more specific than "greater."
"prevailing trend of the modern age" -> "prevailing trend of our modern era"
Explanation: "Our modern era" is more specific and formal than "the modern age," which can be vague and less precise.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of globalization, providing a balanced discussion. The first body paragraph outlines the benefits, such as economic development and international cooperation, while the second body paragraph discusses the challenges, including job outsourcing and tax evasion. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer articulation of the specific advantages and disadvantages, as the introduction mentions "my perspective on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages," but does not explicitly state this in the body.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could explicitly list the advantages and disadvantages in the introduction and provide a more detailed comparison in the conclusion. This would ensure that all parts of the question are thoroughly addressed and clearly delineated.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that acknowledges both sides of the argument. However, the conclusion introduces a somewhat ambiguous stance by stating that "without proper governing strategies, the negative aspects of globalization may outnumber the economic gains." This could lead to confusion regarding the author’s ultimate opinion on globalization.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the author should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. For instance, they could clarify whether they believe the advantages ultimately outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa, providing a more definitive stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas related to globalization, such as economic interdependence and the challenges posed by outsourcing and tax evasion. Each point is supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of multilateral institutions and the impact of tax havens. However, some ideas could be further developed. For instance, the discussion on terrorism and humanitarian crises is somewhat brief and lacks specific examples or elaboration.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the author should aim to provide more detailed examples and elaboration. For instance, expanding on how globalization contributes to terrorism or humanitarian crises with specific case studies or statistics would enhance the depth of the discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic of globalization, discussing its advantages and disadvantages. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused. For example, the mention of "the existential threat of the outsourcing of labor" could be more directly tied to the broader implications of globalization rather than presented as a standalone concern.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the central theme of globalization. They could also use transitional phrases to connect ideas more fluidly, reinforcing how each point contributes to the overall discussion of globalization’s impact.

By addressing these areas, the essay could achieve an even higher band score, demonstrating a more comprehensive understanding and analysis of the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of globalization, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by outlining the topic and stating the intention to explore both advantages and disadvantages. Each body paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of globalization, which aids in logical progression. However, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the benefits to the challenges could be more clearly signposted to enhance the reader’s understanding of the argument’s flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely" when shifting from one perspective to another. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea, which will help guide the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on either the advantages or disadvantages of globalization. However, the second paragraph, which discusses the benefits, is quite dense and could be broken down into smaller paragraphs to improve readability. This would allow for a more focused discussion on each point, making it easier for the reader to digest the information.
- How to improve: Consider dividing the second paragraph into two separate paragraphs—one focusing on economic benefits and the other on social and political advantages. This will not only enhance clarity but also allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "however," "moreover," and "while," which effectively link ideas within and between sentences. However, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. For example, the phrase "this worrisome phenomenon" in the discussion of disadvantages could be better connected to the previous sentence to enhance coherence. Additionally, the essay occasionally relies on similar phrases, which can make the writing feel repetitive.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in contrast," and "as a result." Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device clearly connects the ideas it links, perhaps by rephrasing sentences to make the relationships between them more explicit.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, there are areas for improvement in the logical flow of ideas, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By implementing the suggested strategies, the essay can achieve a higher level of clarity and coherence, ultimately enhancing its overall effectiveness.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with terms like "transnational trade," "comparative advantage," and "multilateral institutions" effectively used to convey complex ideas. Phrases such as "boons and blessings" and "existential threat" showcase the writer’s ability to employ varied vocabulary. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the phrase "advantages outweigh the disadvantages," which could be expressed in different ways to enhance variety.
- How to improve: To elevate the lexical range, consider incorporating synonyms or alternative phrases. For instance, instead of repeating "advantages," you could use "benefits," "gains," or "positives." Additionally, exploring idiomatic expressions or less common vocabulary related to globalization could further enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where precision could be improved. For example, the term "internationalization" is used, which may not be the most appropriate synonym for "globalization" in this context. The phrase "the monetary benefits of globalization" could be more specific by mentioning "economic benefits" or "financial gains," which would clarify the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, review vocabulary choices and ensure they align closely with the intended meaning. Consider using a thesaurus to find more suitable terms that convey the exact nuance you wish to express. Additionally, double-check the context of terms to ensure they fit the discussion accurately.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with only a few minor errors. The phrase "21" century" should be corrected to "21st century," which indicates a lapse in attention to detail. The term "millennium development goals" is correctly spelled but should be capitalized as "Millennium Development Goals" to align with proper noun conventions.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After completing the essay, take a moment to read through it slowly, focusing specifically on spelling and capitalization. Utilizing spell-check tools or apps can also help catch errors that may be overlooked during writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, focusing on enhancing vocabulary variety, precision, and spelling accuracy will help achieve a higher band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. Complex sentences, such as "Greater transnational trade and investment foster economic ties and development, thus reducing poverty and optimizing each country’s specific comparative advantage," effectively convey intricate ideas. Additionally, the use of relative clauses, such as "which are aggravated by greater migration and movement of people," adds depth to the writing. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the opening sentences of paragraphs, which could benefit from more variation.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more compound-complex sentences and varied introductory phrases. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "It is widely acknowledged," the writer could use alternatives like "Many experts argue that" or "Research indicates that." This would not only diversify the sentence structures but also engage the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For instance, the phrase "the advantages. outweigh the disadvantages. advantages" contains a typographical error and an unnecessary period, which disrupts the flow. Additionally, the use of commas is mostly correct, but there are moments where clarity could be improved, such as in the list of institutions ("United Nations, World Bank, IMF") where the conjunction "and" could enhance readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to catch typographical errors and ensure that punctuation is used correctly. Practicing the use of conjunctions in lists and ensuring that sentence fragments are avoided will also help. Furthermore, reviewing the rules for punctuation in complex sentences can enhance clarity, particularly in longer sentences that contain multiple clauses.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced view of globalization, but focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy will further elevate the writing quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

Over the past century and a half, globalization has radically transformed the global political, economic, social, and cultural landscapes. However, this trend may appear beneficial, it is not without controversy. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of globalization and present my perspective on whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

It is widely acknowledged that the advantages of globalization are plentiful. Greater transnational trade and investment foster economic ties and development, thus reducing poverty and optimizing each country’s specific comparative advantage, whether labor, natural resources, or technological advancements. Moreover, the interdependence of countries, reflected in bilateral and global trade turnover or cash flows, serves as an important pillar in the preservation of peace, in addition to traditional mechanisms of balance of power and the promotion of democracy. Thanks to the creation of multilateral institutions such as the United Nations, World Bank, and IMF, the pursuit of social stability and economic development is further promoted for the achievement of the millennium development goals.

However, globalization also brings challenges to governments and citizens of the 21st century. It is premature to conclude that the monetary benefits of globalization are distributed equitably across different regions and economic agents. Numerous white-collar workers in the developed world face an existential threat to their livelihoods due to the outsourcing of labor, while those in developing nations benefit from increased job opportunities. Another concerning phenomenon in recent decades is base erosion and profit shifting, caused by the presence of tax havens and legal loopholes exploited by multinational companies. This troubling issue reduces tax revenues for governments and leads to inequities in the business landscape. Additionally, terrorism, espionage, and humanitarian crises are exacerbated by increased migration and movement of people in the globalized world.

In conclusion, while the benefits of globalization are significant, this prevailing trend of our modern era is not without its drawbacks. My personal view is that without proper governing strategies, the negative aspects of globalization may outweigh the economic gains and improved security brought about by greater international cooperation.