Home Schooling has become very popular in recent years. However, most people still believe that attending schools is the best way to obtain formal education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of home-schooling?

Over the past few years, education has experienced some changes which originated new trend of home-schooling children between the parents. Some people say that this new trend does not meet all standards to achieve a solid education. Whereas, others say that home-schooling is more practical for the offspring. The following paragraphs discuss the benefits and drawbacks of the argument to get a conclusion.

To begin, home-schooling education has some advantages as flexibility and organization of time likewise of material that suit the children needs or interests, which is totally tailor-made. In other words, children could learn at their own pace choosing the subject what they want any time. In addition, home-schooling is totally safe. Studying at home allows children to be in a protected environment, far from bullying cases or bad influences.

In contrast, there are also some disadvantages that need to be taken into account. The first issue of home-schooling that should be observed is the lack of socialization. It is crucial for children to interact with their peers to learn sort of skills or develop feelings such as empathy, self-confidence or leadership, which are important for the future personal or professional life. Similarly, home-schooling is limitless and does not meet all resources that schools do. For example, all infrastructure such as gyms or chemical laboratories, materials like musical instruments, variety of subjects such as languages or technology. In short, the absence of some resources could create huge borders to children education and their future.

In conclusion, the parents are in charge of the education and future of their children. So, before deciding which education provide to their offspring they should study all angles of home-shooling.

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Errors and Improvements:

"which originated new trend" -> "which has sparked a new trend"
Explanation: "Originated new trend" lacks clarity and is grammatically awkward. "Has sparked a new trend" is a more precise and idiomatic phrase that better conveys the idea of the emergence of a new trend.
"does not meet all standards" -> "does not meet all the standards"
Explanation: Adding the definite article "the" before "standards" ensures grammatical correctness and maintains formal language structure.
"more practical for the offspring" -> "more practical for the children"
Explanation: "Offspring" is a formal term, but it sounds overly technical and less engaging in this context. "Children" is a simpler and more commonly used term that fits well in this sentence.
"The following paragraphs discuss" -> "The following paragraphs will discuss"
Explanation: Using "will discuss" instead of "discuss" adds a formal touch by indicating future action in line with academic writing conventions.
"as flexibility and organization of time" -> "such as flexibility and time management"
Explanation: "As" is ambiguous here and doesn’t clearly indicate the relationship between the mentioned advantages and home-schooling. Replacing it with "such as" clarifies that flexibility and time management are examples of the advantages of home-schooling.
"likewise of material" -> "as well as materials"
Explanation: "Likewise of" is grammatically incorrect. "As well as" is a clearer and more appropriate phrase to indicate additional items in a list.
"In other words," -> "Furthermore,"
Explanation: "In other words" is used to provide an alternative explanation or rephrase a previous statement, which doesn’t fit here. "Furthermore" is more suitable to introduce additional points in support of the argument.
"Studying at home allows children to be in a protected environment" -> "Studying at home provides children with a secure environment"
Explanation: "Allows children to be" is unnecessarily wordy. "Provides children with" is a more concise and direct phrase. Also, "secure environment" sounds more formal and appropriate than "protected environment."
"far from bullying cases" -> "away from instances of bullying"
Explanation: "Far from" is slightly informal in this context. "Away from instances of bullying" maintains formality while conveying the same meaning.
"bad influences" -> "negative influences"
Explanation: "Bad influences" is somewhat informal. "Negative influences" is a more formal and precise term commonly used in academic contexts.
"need to be taken into account" -> "should be considered"
Explanation: "Need to be taken into account" is unnecessarily verbose. "Should be considered" is a more concise and formal expression.
"observed is the lack of socialization" -> "observed is the absence of social interaction"
Explanation: "Lack of socialization" sounds slightly informal. "Absence of social interaction" maintains formality and clarity.
"sort of skills" -> "various skills"
Explanation: "Sort of" is informal and vague. "Various" is a more precise and appropriate term to indicate a range of skills.
"or develop feelings such as empathy" -> "and develop traits such as empathy"
Explanation: "Feelings such as empathy" is overly simplistic and lacks precision. "Traits such as empathy" is more specific and formal.
"or leadership" -> "and leadership"
Explanation: "Or" doesn’t properly connect the items in the list. "And" is more appropriate to indicate an additional trait.
"Similarly, home-schooling is limitless" -> "Similarly, home-schooling has limitations"
Explanation: "Limitless" contradicts the subsequent argument about the lack of resources in home-schooling. "Has limitations" provides a more accurate portrayal of the downside of home-schooling.
"does not meet all resources" -> "does not offer all the resources"
Explanation: "Meet all resources" is not grammatically correct. "Offer all the resources" is a clearer and more precise phrase.
"such as gyms or chemical laboratories" -> "such as gymnasiums or chemical laboratories"
Explanation: "Gyms" is an informal abbreviation. "Gymnasiums" is the formal term for fitness facilities in academic writing.
"materials like musical instruments" -> "materials such as musical instruments"
Explanation: "Like" is informal in this context. "Such as" is more appropriate for introducing examples.
"languages or technology" -> "languages and technology"
Explanation: "Or" doesn’t properly connect the items in the list. "And" is more appropriate to indicate an additional subject.
"In short," -> "In summary,"
Explanation: "In short" is slightly informal. "In summary" is a more formal and appropriate transition for concluding remarks.
"huge borders to children education" -> "significant barriers to children’s education"
Explanation: "Huge borders to children education" is awkward and unclear. "Significant barriers to children’s education" is more precise and grammatically correct.
"the education and future of their children" -> "their children’s education and future"
Explanation: Rearranging the possessive form makes the phrase clearer and more idiomatic.
"before deciding which education provide to their offspring" -> "before deciding on the type of education to provide for their children"
Explanation: "Which education provide to their offspring" is grammatically incorrect. "On the type of education to provide for their children" is a clearer and more formal phrase.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the advantages and disadvantages of home-schooling as required by the prompt. It lists advantages such as flexibility, personalization of educational content, and safety. It also discusses disadvantages including limited socialization and lack of resources. However, the response fails to fully explore these aspects in depth and does not provide a balanced view on why traditional schooling might still be preferred by most people.
- How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed examples and evidence for each claimed advantage and disadvantage. Additionally, integrating a comparison between home-schooling and traditional schooling methods could help address the implicit query about the popularity of traditional schooling.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay’s position is somewhat clear, stating both advantages and disadvantages of home-schooling. However, it does not consistently advocate for or against home-schooling, resulting in a neutral stance that lacks a persuasive or clear argumentative angle. This neutrality makes the essay’s position less discernible, particularly in the conclusion where the writer should ideally present a definitive stance based on the discussion.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to present a clear thesis statement at the beginning and maintain this viewpoint throughout the essay. Concluding with a strong, reflective statement that aligns with the introduction would also strengthen the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay does present some basic ideas about the advantages and disadvantages of home-schooling. However, these ideas are not extensively developed or well-supported with evidence or examples. For instance, the discussion on flexibility and safety is limited to general statements without delving into how these factors specifically impact the quality of education.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should include more detailed examples and data, possibly citing studies or statistics. Explaining how these advantages and disadvantages directly impact the learners would also provide more depth and persuasiveness to the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains mostly on topic, discussing the pros and cons of home-schooling directly related to the prompt. However, it slightly deviates by not addressing why traditional schooling remains popular, which is a critical part of understanding the context of the question.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that every paragraph contributes directly to answering the prompt. This could involve a more explicit comparison with traditional schooling methods, thereby directly engaging with the reasons behind its continued popularity. This would help maintain focus and relevance throughout the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay could move towards a higher task response band by demonstrating a more thorough understanding of the question, presenting clearer positions, and providing well-supported and fully developed arguments.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt to organize information logically, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion summarizing the main points. However, there are areas where the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the introduction could provide a clearer thesis statement outlining the main points to be discussed in the essay, which would better guide the reader through the subsequent paragraphs. Additionally, each body paragraph could transition more smoothly into the next to create a more cohesive argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider revising the introduction to include a more explicit thesis statement outlining the advantages and disadvantages of home-schooling. Ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a single main idea, with clear topic sentences that guide the reader through the essay. Use transitional phrases or sentences to connect ideas between paragraphs, creating a smoother flow of information.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to organize ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the advantages and disadvantages of home-schooling. However, there are areas where paragraph structure could be strengthened. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear transitions between them, which can make the essay feel disjointed. Additionally, the conclusion could be expanded to provide a more comprehensive summary of the main points discussed in the essay.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea related to either the advantages or disadvantages of home-schooling, with clear topic sentences to introduce each paragraph’s focus. Use transitions between paragraphs to create a smoother flow of ideas and improve coherence. Expand the conclusion to summarize the key points of the essay and reinforce the main argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a limited range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and create coherence. While some cohesive devices, such as transition words like "To begin" and "In contrast," are used to indicate the organization of ideas, the essay lacks variety in cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel repetitive. Additionally, some transitions between ideas are abrupt, leading to a lack of smoothness in the flow of information.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion, incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices such as pronouns (e.g., "this," "these"), conjunctions (e.g., "however," "furthermore"), and transitional phrases (e.g., "on the other hand," "in conclusion"). Use these devices consistently throughout the essay to connect ideas and create a smoother, more cohesive argument. Additionally, ensure that transitions between ideas are seamless to improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, incorporating words such as "flexibility," "organization," "tailor-made," "socialization," "infrastructure," and "offspring." However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied and sophisticated to enhance clarity and depth of expression. For example, instead of repeatedly using "home-schooling," employing synonyms like "homeschooling" or "education at home" would diversify the vocabulary.
- How to improve: To enrich vocabulary usage, consider employing synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and more complex phrases where appropriate. Additionally, strive for precision and specificity in word choice to convey ideas effectively.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, but there are instances where imprecise or repetitive language detracts from clarity. For instance, the repetition of "home-schooling" could be substituted with synonyms or rephrased for variety and clarity. Additionally, some phrases lack precision, such as "totally safe," which could be strengthened with more specific descriptors.
- How to improve: Aim for precision in vocabulary usage by selecting words that accurately convey the intended meaning. Avoid unnecessary repetition and strive for variety in expression to maintain reader engagement and clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally satisfactory throughout the essay, with no glaring errors observed. However, there are a few minor issues, such as "home-shooling" instead of "home-schooling." These errors do not significantly impede comprehension but should be addressed for improved professionalism and clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spelling and grammar checkers, proofreading meticulously, and expanding vocabulary to reinforce correct spelling through increased exposure and practice. Additionally, double-checking commonly misspelled words can help minimize errors in future writing endeavors.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures, incorporating simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, it employs complex sentences such as "The first issue of home-schooling that should be observed is the lack of socialization," showcasing the ability to construct sentences with subordinate clauses. Additionally, the essay utilizes parallel structures, as seen in the sentence "flexibility and organization of time likewise of material," which enhances clarity and coherence. However, while the essay showcases some diversity in sentence structures, there is room for improvement in introducing more complex sentence structures, such as compound-complex sentences, to further enrich the essay’s sophistication.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and complexity, consider incorporating compound-complex sentences that contain multiple independent and dependent clauses. For example, instead of solely using complex sentences, integrate compound-complex structures by combining two or more ideas into a single sentence using coordinating and subordinate conjunctions. This will elevate the essay’s syntactic variety and contribute to a more nuanced expression of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally accurate grammar and punctuation usage throughout. However, there are instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inconsistencies that slightly detract from the overall coherence and fluency of the essay. For example, in the sentence "Over the past few years, education has experienced some changes which originated new trend of home-schooling children between the parents," there is a grammatical error in the phrase "new trend of home-schooling children between the parents," where the intended meaning is unclear due to the awkward phrasing. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences, as evidenced by "The following paragraphs discuss the benefits and drawbacks of the argument to get a conclusion." Furthermore, there are instances where articles are omitted, as seen in "So, before deciding which education provide to their offspring they should study all angles of home-schooling," where "education provide" should be "education to provide."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation consistency, it is advisable to thoroughly proofread the essay and pay close attention to sentence structure and punctuation rules. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to identify and rectify errors. Focus on maintaining consistency in the use of articles, such as "a," "an," and "the," and ensure proper placement of commas in compound sentences to improve readability and coherence. Additionally, strive for clarity and precision in expression by revising awkward or ambiguous phrasings to convey ideas more effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, there has been a notable shift in education, giving rise to the new trend of home-schooling among parents. While some argue that this approach fails to meet all the standards necessary for a robust education, others contend that it offers more practicality for children. Let’s delve into the advantages and disadvantages of home-schooling to arrive at a conclusion.

To commence, home-schooling presents several advantages, such as flexibility and time management, as well as the ability to tailor materials to children’s specific needs and interests. Essentially, children can learn at their own pace and explore subjects of their choosing at any given time. Moreover, studying at home provides children with a secure environment, shielding them from instances of bullying or negative influences.

Conversely, there are notable disadvantages to consider. Foremost among these is the absence of social interaction, a vital component of a child’s development. Interacting with peers allows children to acquire various skills and develop traits such as empathy and leadership, which are crucial for their future personal and professional lives. Additionally, home-schooling may lack certain resources that traditional schools offer, including facilities like gymnasiums or chemical laboratories, as well as materials such as musical instruments and exposure to diverse subjects like languages and technology. Consequently, the absence of these resources could pose significant barriers to children’s education and their future prospects.

In summary, parents hold the responsibility for shaping their children’s education and future. Therefore, before deciding on the type of education to provide for their children, they should carefully consider all aspects of home-schooling.