Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you

think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to

solve it?

Despite the advancements in technology, economic challenges continue to prevail globally, intensifying the issue of homelessness, especially in urban areas. This essay aims to explore the primary cause of this problem and suggest feasible interventions.

One significant factor contributing to the homelessness crisis is the sharp increase in housing prices, aggravated by the population surge in major cities. For instance, in some big cities of Vietnam like Hanoi capital and Hochiminh city, known as a leading education center, the demand for rental properties amplifies, aggravating the housing shortage. To address this, governmental strategies designed to provide subsidized housing or offer incentives for low-income earners could be effective solutions.

Moreover, the increase in unemployment rates, largely due to automation and technological integration in the workforce, plays a pivotal role. Many manufacturing companies are adopting technology to reduce operational expenses, leading to fewer job opportunities. To combat this, government initiatives aimed at fostering job creation and supporting businesses that prioritize employment are necessary.

Additionally, mental health disorders and substance dependency contribute significantly to the homelessness epidemic. Substance abuse, for example, can result in job loss and deteriorating relationships, leading to mental health challenges. Implementing holistic support and stringent regulation, such as rigorous drug control policies, could address this aspect of the problem effectively.

In conclusion, the escalating homelessness crisis stems from housing affordability, unemployment, and mental health issues. Addressing this multifaceted problem requires a comprehensive approach, including providing employment opportunities and enforcing supportive governmental policies.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Despite the advancements in technology" -> "Despite technological advancements"
Explanation: The phrase "technological advancements" is more concise and academically formal, avoiding unnecessary prepositions.
"economic challenges continue to prevail globally" -> "economic challenges persist worldwide"
Explanation: "Persist worldwide" is a more precise and formal way of expressing the ongoing nature of economic challenges on a global scale, enhancing the academic tone.
"intensifying the issue of homelessness" -> "exacerbating the homelessness issue"
Explanation: "Exacerbating" is a more academically appropriate term than "intensifying" for describing how one problem worsens another. Additionally, reordering the phrase to "the homelessness issue" improves the sentence’s flow.
"aims to explore" -> "seeks to investigate"
Explanation: "Seeks to investigate" conveys a more formal and purposeful intent, aligning better with academic language.
"One significant factor contributing to" -> "A primary factor contributing to"
Explanation: "A primary factor" is more specific and academically formal than "One significant factor," providing a clearer indication of the factor’s importance.
"sharp increase" -> "marked increase"
Explanation: "Marked increase" is a more formal expression suitable for academic writing, indicating a significant and noticeable rise.
"big cities of Vietnam like" -> "major Vietnamese cities such as"
Explanation: "Major Vietnamese cities such as" is more precise and formal, avoiding colloquial terms like "big" and providing a clearer geographical context.
"known as a leading education center" -> "recognized as leading educational centers"
Explanation: "Recognized as leading educational centers" is more formal and accurately reflects the status of the cities mentioned, while also correcting the grammatical number to match "cities."
"aggravating the housing shortage" -> "further exacerbating the housing shortage"
Explanation: "Further exacerbating" adds emphasis to the worsening situation in a more academically appropriate manner than "aggravating."
"governmental strategies" -> "government strategies"
Explanation: "Government strategies" is a more direct and formal term, avoiding the unnecessary adjective "governmental."
"offer incentives for low-income earners" -> "provide incentives for individuals with low income"
Explanation: "Provide incentives for individuals with low income" is more formal and avoids the colloquial term "low-income earners."
"increase in unemployment rates" -> "rise in unemployment rates"
Explanation: "Rise in unemployment rates" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase for describing an upward trend.
"plays a pivotal role" -> "serves a critical role"
Explanation: "Serves a critical role" is more formal and emphasizes the importance of the factor being discussed.
"mental health disorders and substance dependency" -> "mental health disorders and substance dependence"
Explanation: "Substance dependence" is the correct medical term, making it more suitable for an academic context than "substance dependency."
"Substance abuse, for example" -> "For instance, substance abuse"
Explanation: Starting the sentence with "For instance," followed by the example, provides a clearer structure and is more formal.
"Implementing holistic support and stringent regulation" -> "The implementation of comprehensive support and stringent regulations"
Explanation: "The implementation of comprehensive support and stringent regulations" is more formal and emphasizes the action being proposed.
"could address this aspect of the problem effectively" -> "could effectively address this aspect of the problem"
Explanation: Placing "effectively" before "address" improves the sentence flow and emphasizes the effectiveness of the proposed solution.
"escalating homelessness crisis" -> "escalating crisis of homelessness"
Explanation: "Crisis of homelessness" is a more formal and precise way to describe the issue, aligning better with academic style.
"requires a comprehensive approach" -> "necessitates a comprehensive approach"
Explanation: "Necessitates" is a more formal verb than "requires," enhancing the academic tone of the conclusion.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It identifies the main causes of homelessness, namely housing affordability, unemployment, and mental health issues, and proposes measures to solve the problem, including governmental strategies for subsidized housing, job creation, and holistic support for mental health and substance abuse.
- How to improve: To enhance completeness, consider providing more specific examples or statistical data to further illustrate the impact of each cause and proposed solution. Additionally, ensure that each cause is thoroughly explored to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout by asserting that homelessness is primarily caused by housing affordability, unemployment, and mental health issues, and suggests governmental interventions to address these factors.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, ensure that the introduction explicitly states the writer’s stance on the issue to provide a strong foundation for the argument. Additionally, reinforce the position in each paragraph to strengthen coherence and consistency.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas related to the causes of homelessness and potential solutions. Each paragraph introduces a distinct cause or solution, provides relevant examples, and elaborates on their implications.
- How to improve: To further develop ideas, consider exploring the root causes and consequences of each factor in greater detail. Providing specific case studies or real-life examples can add depth to the analysis and strengthen the argument’s persuasiveness.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear focus on the topic of homelessness and its causes and solutions. However, there are minor instances where the discussion could be more tightly linked to the central theme.
- How to improve: Ensure that every point made directly contributes to the discussion of homelessness and its underlying causes or solutions. Avoid tangential discussions or overly broad statements that detract from the coherence of the essay.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the causes of homelessness and proposes viable solutions. To enhance its effectiveness, the writer should provide more specific examples, reinforce the clarity of their position, delve deeper into the presented ideas, and maintain strict adherence to the topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization by addressing each cause of homelessness in separate paragraphs. The writer effectively introduces the causes – housing affordability, unemployment, and mental health issues – in the introduction and dedicates individual paragraphs to discuss each cause in detail. This logical progression allows readers to follow the argument easily.
- How to improve: While the logical organization is strong, enhancing coherence could involve refining transitions between paragraphs to ensure smoother flow. Using transitional phrases or sentences at the end of each paragraph to connect ideas and guide readers through the essay would further improve coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is appropriately divided into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the homelessness issue. Each paragraph contains a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. This structural approach aids readability and comprehension.
- How to improve: To strengthen paragraph coherence, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its main idea without straying into unrelated topics. Additionally, consider varying sentence structure within paragraphs to maintain reader engagement.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as transitional phrases ("Moreover," "Additionally," "In conclusion") and pronouns ("this," "these") are used appropriately to establish relationships between different parts of the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay utilizes cohesive devices adequately, diversifying the range of cohesive devices employed could further enhance coherence. Introducing a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Nevertheless," or "On the other hand," can contribute to a more nuanced and sophisticated connection between ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, effectively organizing information, using paragraphs appropriately, and employing a range of cohesive devices. By refining transitional elements and introducing a broader array of cohesive devices, the essay could further elevate its coherence and cohesion to enhance reader engagement and comprehension.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable use of vocabulary throughout, showcasing a diverse range of terms relevant to the topic. For example, phrases like "advancements in technology," "economic challenges," "population surge," "governmental strategies," "manufacturing companies," "holistic support," and "comprehensive approach" contribute to a nuanced discussion of the issue.
- How to improve: While the vocabulary usage is generally strong, incorporating more nuanced or specialized terminology related to homelessness, urban development, and social policies could further enhance the lexical resource. For instance, terms such as "gentrification," "transient population," "social welfare programs," or "urban regeneration initiatives" could add depth to the analysis and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs vocabulary with reasonable precision, effectively conveying ideas and concepts related to homelessness and its causes. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For example, the term "economic challenges" is somewhat broad and could be further specified to reflect specific economic disparities contributing to homelessness.
- How to improve: To improve precision, consider using vocabulary that precisely captures the nuances of each aspect discussed. Instead of general terms like "economic challenges," opt for more specific terms such as "income inequality," "rising housing costs," or "job scarcity." This will enhance clarity and depth in addressing the causes of homelessness.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the spelling in the essay is accurate, with no major errors detracting from readability. However, it’s essential to note that maintaining consistent spelling accuracy is crucial for conveying professionalism and credibility in academic writing.
- How to improve: To ensure consistent spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-check tools or proofreading techniques before finalizing the essay. Additionally, paying close attention to commonly misspelled words and practicing spelling exercises can further strengthen spelling proficiency. Consistent review and revision processes will help mitigate any potential spelling errors in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures, incorporating both simple and complex constructions effectively. It employs a variety of sentence types, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, simple sentences like "One significant factor contributing to the homelessness crisis is the sharp increase in housing prices" are juxtaposed with more complex structures such as "Many manufacturing companies are adopting technology to reduce operational expenses, leading to fewer job opportunities." This variety enhances the clarity and readability of the essay, contributing to its coherence.
- How to improve: While the essay already utilizes a diverse range of structures, further enhancing complexity could elevate the sophistication of expression. Introducing more compound-complex sentences or utilizing rhetorical devices like parallelism or inversion could add depth to the essay’s prose. Additionally, varying sentence beginnings and lengths can contribute to a more engaging writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and punctuation, with few errors detracting from clarity. The sentences are generally well-structured and grammatically sound. For example, "Substance abuse, for example, can result in job loss and deteriorating relationships, leading to mental health challenges" showcases correct comma usage within a complex sentence structure. However, there are occasional minor errors, such as missing articles ("known as a leading education center") or awkward phrasing ("known as a leading education center" could be revised for smoother flow). These errors, while not pervasive, slightly detract from the overall fluency.
- How to improve: To further enhance grammatical accuracy, careful proofreading focusing on article usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure coherence is recommended. Additionally, paying attention to parallelism in sentence construction can refine the clarity and elegance of expression. Reviewing sentence transitions and coherence can also help iron out any awkward phrasing or structural inconsistencies.

Bài sửa mẫu

Despite technological advancements, economic challenges persist worldwide, exacerbating the homelessness issue, particularly in urban areas. This essay seeks to investigate the primary causes of this problem and propose practical interventions.

A primary factor contributing to the marked increase in homelessness is the soaring housing prices, especially in major Vietnamese cities recognized as leading educational centers like Hanoi and Hochiminh City. The demand for rental properties further exacerbates the housing shortage, necessitating government strategies to provide incentives for individuals with low incomes or to subsidize housing.

Furthermore, the rise in unemployment rates, largely attributed to automation and technological integration in the workforce, serves a critical role. Many manufacturing companies are adopting technology to cut operational costs, resulting in fewer job opportunities. To counter this trend, government initiatives aimed at fostering job creation and supporting businesses prioritizing employment are crucial.

Additionally, mental health disorders and substance dependence play a significant role in the homelessness crisis. For instance, substance abuse can lead to job loss and strained relationships, contributing to mental health challenges. The implementation of comprehensive support and stringent regulations, such as robust drug control policies, could effectively address this aspect of the problem.

In conclusion, the escalating crisis of homelessness is rooted in housing affordability, unemployment, and mental health issues. Addressing this multifaceted problem necessitates a comprehensive approach, including providing employment opportunities and enforcing supportive governmental policies.