Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about change. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is true that a great number of plants and endangered species are adversely affected by human activities. Although some people argue that the problem cannot be fixed, I believe that people can still implement viable solutions to alleviate it.

On the one hand, it is understandable why some people believe that lessening the harmful impacts on plants and animals is impossible. The main reason is that many species have already vanished and no efforts could be made to bring them back, even though there have been plenty of interventions of contemporary technology through the last few decades. In addition to this, the number of species that are predicted to become extinct in the far future is now declining due to human beings. For instance, the population of the Sumatran tiger is plummeting because of habitat loss and poaching, despite multiple conservation efforts by wildlife reserves worldwide.

On the other hand, I believe that human activities can adopt measures to alleviate environmental issues. Firstly, the government can implement laws to ban illegal actions. They may introduce laws on waste management, which stop factories from discharging unprocessed waste into rivers and oceans. Therefore, aquatic creatures can be protected by the fresh and diverse water biodiversity. Furthermore, individual action is also useful for protecting flora and fauna. For instance, people can donate to wildlife reserve organizations to make funds for building animal shelters and recreating habitats. Moreover, some fundamental actions can also be done, such as planting trees to restore deforested areas, which is viable to lessen detrimental impacts on the environment and, especially protect endangered species by creating more shelters.

In conclusion, although both views are valid to some extent, I still opine that a range of possible solutions should be implemented to alleviate the adverse effects of human actions on the ecosystem and push for a sustainable future.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"a great number of plants and endangered species" -> "numerous plant and endangered species"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more precise and academically appropriate than "a great number of," which is somewhat vague and informal. Removing "plants" before "and" corrects the grammatical structure, as "and" is unnecessary in this context.
"adversely affected" -> "negatively impacted"
Explanation: "Negatively impacted" is a more formal and precise term than "adversely affected," which is slightly less common in academic writing.
"implement viable solutions" -> "implement effective solutions"
Explanation: "Effective" is more specific and academically precise than "viable," which can imply feasibility rather than actual effectiveness.
"lessening the harmful impacts" -> "mitigating the adverse effects"
Explanation: "Mitigating the adverse effects" is a more formal and precise phrase than "lessening the harmful impacts," aligning better with academic language.
"no efforts could be made" -> "no efforts have been made"
Explanation: "Have been made" is more accurate and formal, indicating a completed action in the past, which is more suitable for discussing historical or ongoing conservation efforts.
"plenty of interventions of contemporary technology" -> "numerous technological interventions"
Explanation: "Numerous technological interventions" is more concise and formal, avoiding the awkward phrasing of "interventions of contemporary technology."
"the number of species that are predicted to become extinct" -> "the number of species predicted to become extinct"
Explanation: Removing "that are" simplifies the sentence structure, making it more direct and formal.
"human beings" -> "humans"
Explanation: "Humans" is a more commonly accepted term in academic writing than "human beings," which can sound overly formal or redundant.
"adopt measures" -> "take measures"
Explanation: "Take measures" is a more common and natural expression in formal English, whereas "adopt measures" can sound slightly awkward and less natural.
"stop factories from discharging unprocessed waste" -> "prevent factories from discharging untreated waste"
Explanation: "Untreated waste" is a more precise term than "unprocessed waste," which is less commonly used in this context.
"aquatic creatures can be protected by the fresh and diverse water biodiversity" -> "aquatic life can be safeguarded by the pristine and diverse aquatic biodiversity"
Explanation: "Safeguarded" and "pristine" are more precise and formal terms, enhancing the academic tone. "Aquatic life" is also a more appropriate term than "aquatic creatures."
"donate to wildlife reserve organizations" -> "contribute to wildlife conservation organizations"
Explanation: "Contribute to wildlife conservation organizations" is more specific and formal, focusing on the purpose of the donation rather than the general act of giving.
"planting trees to restore deforested areas" -> "afforestation efforts to restore deforested areas"
Explanation: "Afforestation efforts" is a more specific and technical term, suitable for an academic context, compared to the more general "planting trees."
"which is viable to lessen detrimental impacts" -> "which can effectively reduce detrimental impacts"
Explanation: "Can effectively reduce" is more direct and formal than "is viable to lessen," aligning better with academic style.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding human impact on plants and animals. The first paragraph presents the viewpoint that the situation is irreversible, citing the extinction of species and ongoing threats such as habitat loss and poaching. The second paragraph counters this by providing a perspective that solutions can be implemented, detailing governmental and individual actions that can mitigate these impacts. This balanced discussion fulfills the requirement to discuss both views as specified in the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could provide more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made about both perspectives. For instance, mentioning specific laws that have been effective in conservation efforts or providing data on successful restoration projects could strengthen the argument that change is possible.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that solutions can be implemented to address the negative impacts of human activities on the environment. This position is articulated in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. However, while the stance is clear, the transition between discussing the two views could be smoother to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the two viewpoints. For example, phrases like "Despite these challenges, there are still viable solutions" could help bridge the discussion more effectively and remind the reader of the overall argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding both the impossibility of reversing damage and the potential for change. The points about government action and individual responsibility are well-articulated and supported with examples, such as laws on waste management and community involvement in conservation. However, some ideas could be further developed for depth.
- How to improve: To enhance the support for ideas, the writer could elaborate on the effectiveness of the proposed solutions. For instance, discussing specific case studies of successful conservation laws or community initiatives would provide a stronger foundation for the argument that change is achievable.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the impact of human activity on plants and animals while addressing both sides of the argument. The concluding statement effectively summarizes the writer’s opinion and reinforces the main points discussed. There are no significant deviations from the topic.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that each paragraph directly ties back to the main question can further enhance focus. The writer could explicitly link each point back to the central theme of human impact and potential solutions, ensuring that every idea contributes to answering the prompt.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task requirements and presents a well-structured argument. With some enhancements in the areas of evidence, transitions, and depth of discussion, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are well-organized, with the first paragraph discussing the viewpoint that change is impossible, followed by a counter-argument supporting the belief that solutions can be implemented. Each paragraph logically progresses from one idea to the next, with clear topic sentences that guide the reader. For example, the transition from discussing the negative impacts of human activity to potential solutions is smooth and coherent.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between ideas and paragraphs. For instance, after discussing the impossibility of reversing extinction, a phrase like "However, despite these challenges, there are still viable paths forward" could strengthen the transition to the next paragraph.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion are clearly delineated. Each body paragraph maintains a consistent focus, which aids in understanding the argument. The first body paragraph discusses the viewpoint of hopelessness, while the second presents solutions, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear concluding sentence that summarizes the main point or links back to the thesis. For example, at the end of the first body paragraph, a sentence reiterating the implications of the viewpoint could reinforce its significance before transitioning to the counter-argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "In addition to this," and "For instance," which help to connect ideas and provide examples. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the text, allowing the reader to follow the argument easily. The use of "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" effectively signals the contrasting viewpoints.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied phrases and transitions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "Firstly" and "Furthermore," you might use alternatives like "To begin with" or "Moreover" to add variety. Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices, such as "In contrast" or "Conversely," could enhance the sophistication of the writing and clarify the relationships between ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, meriting a band score of 8. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of their argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of environmental impact. Terms such as "endangered species," "habitat loss," "conservation efforts," and "biodiversity" are appropriately used, showcasing the writer’s ability to discuss the subject matter in depth. However, there are moments where the vocabulary could be more varied. For instance, the phrase "human activities" is repeated multiple times, which could be substituted with synonyms like "human actions," "anthropogenic activities," or "human interventions" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader array of synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. Keeping a thesaurus handy while drafting can help identify alternative expressions that maintain the essay’s clarity while enriching its vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecise usage that could lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "the number of species that are predicted to become extinct in the far future is now declining" is misleading; it suggests that extinction rates are decreasing, which contradicts the context of the argument. A more precise way to express this could be, "the number of species at risk of extinction continues to rise despite conservation efforts."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should carefully consider the implications of the words chosen and ensure they align with the intended meaning. Reviewing sentences for clarity and accuracy, and possibly seeking feedback from peers or instructors, can help identify areas where vocabulary may be misapplied.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the words used. Terms like "conservation," "interventions," and "biodiversity" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall professionalism of the writing. This attention to detail is crucial for achieving a higher band score.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing writing regularly can also help reinforce correct spelling habits. Additionally, keeping a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, there are opportunities for improvement in lexical variety, precision, and continued attention to spelling. By implementing the suggested strategies, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "Although some people argue that the problem cannot be fixed, I believe that people can still implement viable solutions to alleviate it" showcases the writer’s ability to combine clauses effectively. Additionally, the essay incorporates a mix of simple and compound sentences, which contributes to the overall fluency and coherence of the text. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and structures, particularly in the second body paragraph, where phrases like "the government can implement" and "individual action is also useful" could be varied further to enhance engagement.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of starting sentences with "the government can" or "individual action is," the writer could use participial phrases or adverbial clauses, such as "By enforcing stricter regulations, the government can…" or "Taking individual responsibility, people can…". This would not only enhance the variety but also improve the overall flow of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "the number of species that are predicted to become extinct in the far future is now declining" could be misleading, as it suggests a positive trend when the context implies a negative outcome. Additionally, punctuation is generally well-handled, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses. However, there are a few instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "which stop factories from discharging unprocessed waste into rivers and oceans," where a comma after "management" would clarify the sentence structure.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on ensuring that the meaning of sentences is clear and unambiguous. This can be achieved by reviewing sentences for potential misinterpretations and adjusting phrasing accordingly. Furthermore, practicing the use of punctuation in complex sentences can help in achieving clarity. For example, revisiting the sentence about the government’s role could lead to a clearer structure: "The government can implement laws on waste management, which would stop factories from discharging unprocessed waste into rivers and oceans." This adjustment would clarify the intended meaning and improve the overall quality of the writing.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and ensuring clarity in grammar and punctuation, the writer can further enhance their writing skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is true that numerous plant and endangered species are negatively impacted by human activities. Although some people argue that this problem cannot be changed, I believe that actions can still be taken to implement effective solutions to alleviate it.

On the one hand, it is understandable why some people believe that mitigating the harmful impacts on plants and animals is impossible. The main reason is that many species have already vanished, and no efforts have been made to bring them back, despite numerous technological interventions over the last few decades. In addition, the number of species predicted to become extinct in the future is now increasing due to human activities. For instance, the population of the Sumatran tiger is plummeting because of habitat loss and poaching, despite multiple conservation efforts by wildlife reserves worldwide.

On the other hand, I believe that humans can take measures to alleviate environmental issues. Firstly, governments can implement laws to ban illegal activities. They may introduce regulations on waste management, which prevent factories from discharging untreated waste into rivers and oceans. Therefore, aquatic life can be safeguarded by maintaining pristine and diverse aquatic biodiversity. Furthermore, individual actions are also beneficial for protecting flora and fauna. For instance, people can contribute to wildlife conservation organizations to help fund the building of animal shelters and the restoration of habitats. Moreover, fundamental actions such as afforestation efforts to restore deforested areas can effectively reduce detrimental impacts on the environment and, especially, protect endangered species by creating more shelters.

In conclusion, although both views are valid to some extent, I still opine that a range of possible solutions should be implemented to mitigate the adverse effects of human actions on the ecosystem and promote a sustainable future.