In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversation. why? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Nowadays, people tend to indicate finances such as the parm national tricolor or how much they pay for goods in their convention. There are CICR Sonce Phasers for this trend and I believe that this Matement has both positive and negative impact
Talking about money became the main topic of each daily conversation
the cause of our development society. In these years, consumerism dominates society, which encourages consumers to buy as many products as possible. Moreover, due to the advertising competition, many companies or brands enhance the diversity of ads. It also leads to the advertisement and creates shopping addiction. Furthermore, the differences in social ranking can be one of the key reasons leading to this trend.
People who live in the wealthy class with a high quality of living standard tend to brag about their assets on love social platforms. For example, on Facebook or Instagram, there are a lot of teenagers, tol, or content creators making
videos, based on shopping or unboxing luxury goods content. It is highly beneficial for an individual to follow this trend because it can becoque a Huge motivation for their Age. It can not be denied that watching rich people show off their assets or sharing some tips which sequel on their success road, people especially teenagers can be motivated and it also a sense of direction leading them to the brilliant way. However, people should count on consciousness because this friend still has many drawbacks. If people do not have a misperception about the true value and follow the material blindly, they will be distorted in their mindset and cannot create true happiness in their lives.
In conclusion, talking about money in some daily center conversations is led by the development of easy and social ranting However, there are still many positive and negative impacts on our mindset and life. Thenger, cot customers need to be conscious to Fire protect themselves and avoid the des bad results, which caused by this trend.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."
"indicate finances such as the parm national tricolor or how much they pay for goods" -> "discuss financial matters such as the national flag or the prices of goods"
Explanation: "Discuss financial matters" is more specific and formal than "indicate finances," and "national flag" is the correct term instead of "parm national tricolor," which is unclear and likely a typographical error.
"CICR Sonce Phasers" -> "CICR (Consumerism) and the increasing use of social media"
Explanation: This correction clarifies the intended meaning, which appears to be discussing consumerism and social media use, rather than an unclear and unrelated phrase.
"Matement" -> "phenomenon"
Explanation: "Phenomenon" is the correct term for describing a widespread or observable occurrence, whereas "Matement" is a typographical error.
"Talking about money became the main topic of each daily conversation" -> "Financial discussions have become a central topic in daily conversations"
Explanation: "Financial discussions have become a central topic" is more formal and precise, improving the academic tone.
"the cause of our development society" -> "a factor in societal development"
Explanation: "A factor in societal development" is more accurate and formal, avoiding the awkward and unclear "the cause of our development society."
"In these years" -> "In recent years"
Explanation: "In recent years" is a more standard and formal expression than "In these years."
"due to the advertising competition" -> "owing to the competitive advertising landscape"
Explanation: "Owing to the competitive advertising landscape" is a more precise and formal way to describe the impact of advertising competition.
"It also leads to the advertisement and creates shopping addiction" -> "This also leads to the proliferation of advertisements and contributes to shopping addiction"
Explanation: "Proliferation of advertisements" and "contributes to shopping addiction" are more precise and academically appropriate terms.
"People who live in the wealthy class" -> "Individuals from affluent backgrounds"
Explanation: "Individuals from affluent backgrounds" is a more formal and precise way to describe socioeconomic status.
"on love social platforms" -> "on social media platforms"
Explanation: "Social media platforms" is the correct term, replacing the incorrect "love social platforms."
"becoque a Huge motivation" -> "becomes a significant motivation"
Explanation: "Becomes a significant motivation" corrects the typographical error and uses more formal language.
"It can not be denied that" -> "It is undeniable that"
Explanation: "It is undeniable that" is a more formal and concise way to express certainty.
"it also a sense of direction leading them to the brilliant way" -> "it also serves as a guiding force leading them to a successful path"
Explanation: "Serves as a guiding force leading them to a successful path" is more formal and precise than the original phrase.
"people should count on consciousness" -> "individuals should cultivate awareness"
Explanation: "Cultivate awareness" is a more formal and precise term than "count on consciousness."
"misperception about the true value" -> "misconceptions about the true value"
Explanation: "Misconceptions" is the correct plural form for referring to multiple misunderstandings.
"follow the material blindly" -> "blindly follow materialistic trends"
Explanation: "Blindly follow materialistic trends" is more specific and formal, improving clarity and academic tone.
"cot customers need to be conscious" -> "consumers must be aware"
Explanation: "Consumers must be aware" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "cot customers need to be conscious."
"Fire protect themselves" -> "protect themselves"
Explanation: "Fire protect" is a typographical error; "protect themselves" is the correct phrase.
"des bad results" -> "adverse consequences"
Explanation: "Adverse consequences" is a more formal and precise term than "des bad results."

These changes enhance the academic tone and precision of the essay, aligning it with formal writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: it discusses why people talk about money and evaluates whether this trend is positive or negative. The author mentions consumerism, advertising, and social media influences as reasons for the trend. However, the explanation lacks depth and clarity in some areas, particularly in articulating the reasons behind the trend. The conclusion also attempts to summarize the points made but does not clearly restate the positive and negative aspects.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should provide more specific examples and elaborate on the reasons behind the trend. For instance, discussing the psychological factors that drive people to share financial information or the societal implications of consumerism could add depth. Additionally, a clearer distinction between the positive and negative aspects in the conclusion would strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that acknowledges both positive and negative impacts of discussing money. However, the clarity of this position is undermined by vague language and grammatical errors, which can confuse the reader. Phrases like "this Matement has both positive and negative impact" are unclear and detract from the overall argument.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the author should use more precise language and ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the stated viewpoint. A strong thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main points of discussion would help guide the reader through the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as consumerism and social media’s role in discussing money. However, the support for these ideas is often weak or unclear. For example, the mention of "CICR Sonce Phasers" and "parm national tricolor" appears to be errors or miscommunications, which detracts from the credibility of the arguments presented.
- How to improve: The author should focus on clearly articulating each idea and providing concrete examples or evidence to support them. For instance, citing studies on consumer behavior or referencing specific social media trends could strengthen the arguments. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and coherence will enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the trend of talking about money. However, there are instances where the writing veers off course, such as the unclear references and the somewhat disjointed flow of ideas. For example, the transition between discussing social media and the potential negative impacts is abrupt and lacks coherence.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly relates to the prompt. Using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help keep the writing on track. Additionally, ensuring logical transitions between ideas will improve the overall coherence of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, it requires improvements in clarity, coherence, and depth of analysis to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the trend of talking about money and its implications. However, the organization of ideas is somewhat disjointed. For instance, the introduction lacks clarity and coherence, as phrases like "parm national tricolor" and "CICR Sonce Phasers" are confusing and seem irrelevant to the topic. The body paragraphs do present some relevant points, such as consumerism and social media influence, but the transitions between ideas are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should clearly outline the main points before writing the essay. Starting with a clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the reasons and implications of the trend would provide a roadmap for the reader. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that summarizes the main idea, followed by supporting details. Additionally, using transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In contrast," "For instance") can help guide the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains paragraphs, but they are not effectively structured. The first paragraph is overly long and combines multiple ideas without clear separation. The second paragraph discusses both positive and negative aspects of the trend but does so in a way that lacks clear delineation between the two sides. This can confuse the reader regarding which point is being made at any given time.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. For example, one paragraph could discuss the reasons for the trend (consumerism, social media), while another could address its positive impacts (motivation, inspiration). A final paragraph could then explore the negative consequences. Each paragraph should ideally contain a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices, which affects the overall flow of the writing. Phrases like "Moreover," and "However," are used, but their application is inconsistent, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas are unclear. For example, the transition from discussing social media influence to the negative implications is abrupt, lacking a cohesive link.
- How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases to clarify relationships between ideas. For instance, using "On the one hand" to introduce positive aspects and "On the other hand" for negative aspects can create a clearer contrast. Additionally, referring back to previously mentioned ideas using phrases like "This trend" or "Such behavior" can help maintain coherence throughout the essay.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt, it suffers from issues related to logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices. By focusing on these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance the clarity and coherence of their argument, ultimately leading to a higher band score in the Coherence and Cohesion criteria.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use varied expressions. Phrases like "consumerism dominates society" and "brag about their assets" indicate a good understanding of relevant vocabulary. However, there are instances where the vocabulary is either repetitive or inaccurately used, such as "parm national tricolor" and "CICR Sonce Phasers," which appear to be either misused terms or typographical errors that detract from clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and related terms to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "money," they could use "finances," "wealth," or "capital." Additionally, ensuring that all vocabulary is contextually appropriate and accurately spelled will improve clarity and sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "the parm national tricolor" is unclear and seems to be a typographical error. Similarly, "CICR Sonce Phasers" does not convey a clear meaning and appears to be nonsensical. Other phrases like "this Matement" and "this friend" are also vague and misleading.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended meaning. For example, instead of "this Matement," they could clarify by saying "this trend" or "this phenomenon." It is essential to proofread for clarity and coherence, ensuring that all terms used contribute meaningfully to the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is a significant area for improvement in this essay. Words such as "parm," "CICR Sonce Phasers," "Matement," "becoque," "Thenger," and "des bad results" contain errors that hinder comprehension. These spelling mistakes can confuse readers and detract from the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should adopt a systematic approach to proofreading. Utilizing spell-check tools, reading the essay aloud, and practicing commonly misspelled words can help. Additionally, the writer could benefit from reviewing vocabulary lists relevant to the topic to reinforce correct spelling and usage.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates some strengths in vocabulary usage, it falls short in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and improving spelling, the writer can enhance their Lexical Resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, but it largely relies on simple and compound sentences. For example, phrases like "People who live in the wealthy class with a high quality of living standard tend to brag about their assets" show a basic structure but lack complexity. There are also instances of run-on sentences, such as "It can not be denied that watching rich people show off their assets or sharing some tips which sequel on their success road, people especially teenagers can be motivated and it also a sense of direction leading them to the brilliant way," which detracts from clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences, such as those using subordinate clauses (e.g., "Although many people find motivation in following wealthy individuals, it is crucial to recognize the potential pitfalls of materialism"). Additionally, varying sentence beginnings and using different grammatical forms (e.g., passive voice, conditional sentences) can add depth to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder readability. For instance, "the parm national tricolor" appears to be a typographical error, and "CICR Sonce Phasers" is unclear and likely a miscommunication. Additionally, punctuation is often missing or misused, such as the lack of commas in compound sentences, which leads to run-ons and fragments. For example, "However, people should count on consciousness because this friend still has many drawbacks" contains a typographical error ("friend" instead of "trend") and lacks clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review basic grammar rules, focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practicing punctuation, particularly the use of commas to separate clauses, will also enhance clarity. It may be beneficial to proofread the essay for typographical errors and seek feedback from peers or educators to identify persistent mistakes.

Overall, while the essay presents some relevant ideas, the execution in terms of grammatical range and accuracy needs significant improvement to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on sentence variety and grammatical correctness will greatly enhance the quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, people tend to discuss finances such as the national flag or how much they pay for goods in their daily conversations. There are several factors for this trend, and I believe that this phenomenon has both positive and negative impacts.

Talking about money has become the main topic of daily conversations and a factor in societal development. In recent years, consumerism dominates society, which encourages consumers to buy as many products as possible. Moreover, owing to the competitive advertising landscape, many companies or brands enhance the diversity of ads. This also leads to the proliferation of advertisements and contributes to shopping addiction. Furthermore, the differences in social ranking can be one of the key reasons leading to this trend.

Individuals from affluent backgrounds with a high standard of living tend to brag about their assets on social media platforms. For example, on Facebook or Instagram, there are many teenagers, influencers, or content creators making videos based on shopping or unboxing luxury goods. It is highly beneficial for an individual to follow this trend because it can become a significant motivation for their age group. It is undeniable that watching rich people show off their assets or sharing some tips that lead to their success can motivate people, especially teenagers, and it also serves as a guiding force leading them to a successful path. However, individuals should cultivate awareness because this trend still has many drawbacks. If people do not have a clear understanding of the true value and blindly follow materialistic trends, they will be distorted in their mindset and cannot create true happiness in their lives.

In conclusion, talking about money in daily conversations is driven by the development of consumerism and social media. However, there are still many positive and negative impacts on our mindset and lives. Therefore, consumers must be aware to protect themselves and avoid the adverse consequences caused by this trend.