In many countries the amount of household waste like food packaging is increasing. What are the causes of this problem? What measures could be taken to reduce it?
In many countries the amount of household waste like food packaging is increasing. What are the causes of this problem? What measures could be taken to reduce it?
In several countries, the isue of increasing the amount of domestic waste, especially food packaging, has gained significant attention. This essay is devoted to the underlying roots, followed by some equivalent solutions to this urgent problem.
Obviously, there is a wealth of reasons for the dramatic growth of household waste. The first reason is a shift of individuals’ behaviors in a fast-paced society. It is easy to see that people usually use food ordering apps like Shopeefood or Be food, which dramatically increases the number of one-time packaging like plastic bags over the time. In addition,the more modern the world becomes, the more people rely on artificial products that take a lot of time to decompose in the environment.
However, we can still have some far-reaching resolutions to this problem. It is also clear to note that raising awareness of residents plays an important role in coping with decreasing household waste. If everyone acknowledges the damage to our environment and collaborates in making an effort to protect our environment, there will be a myriad of effective ways for humans to apply. For example, people can change from using one-time bags into more organic utensils like paper bags, which will help the decomposition process happen more easily. Moreover, some well-established firms can encourage their employees to use their own food containers if they have lunch at the company.
In conclusion, the world is still significantly polluted, especially domestic waste like food packaging. There are some effectives solutions such as raising people’s awareness and promoting using our own containers.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"the isue of increasing" -> "the issue of increasing"
Explanation: Correcting the typo "isue" to "issue" ensures grammatical accuracy and professionalism in academic writing. -
"especially food packaging" -> "particularly food packaging"
Explanation: "Particularly" is more precise and formal than "especially" in academic contexts, emphasizing the specific aspect of waste discussed. -
"This essay is devoted to" -> "This essay focuses on"
Explanation: "Focuses on" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "is devoted to," which can sound overly dramatic and less formal. -
"a wealth of reasons" -> "numerous reasons"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more specific and academically appropriate than "a wealth of," which can be vague and colloquial. -
"a shift of individuals’ behaviors" -> "a shift in individual behavior"
Explanation: "A shift in individual behavior" is grammatically correct and more concise, improving the formal tone. -
"It is easy to see that" -> "It is evident that"
Explanation: "It is evident that" is a more formal and precise way to introduce a clear observation in academic writing. -
"dramatically increases the number of one-time packaging" -> "significantly increases the amount of single-use packaging"
Explanation: "Significantly increases the amount of single-use packaging" is more precise and formal, avoiding the colloquial "one-time packaging." -
"over the time" -> "over time"
Explanation: "Over time" is the correct idiomatic expression, enhancing the natural flow of the sentence. -
"the more modern the world becomes, the more people rely on artificial products" -> "as the world becomes more modern, people increasingly rely on artificial products"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the temporal relationship and uses "increasingly" to emphasize the trend, which is more suitable for formal writing. -
"far-reaching resolutions" -> "far-reaching solutions"
Explanation: "Solutions" is the correct term for addressing problems, whereas "resolutions" typically refers to decisions or conclusions. -
"raising awareness of residents" -> "raising awareness among residents"
Explanation: "Among" is more precise and appropriate in this context, indicating the group being addressed. -
"collaborates in making an effort" -> "collaborates in making efforts"
Explanation: "Efforts" is the plural form needed here to match the plural verb "collaborates," indicating multiple actions. -
"a myriad of effective ways" -> "a multitude of effective methods"
Explanation: "Multitude" is more formal and academically appropriate than "myriad," and "methods" is more precise than "ways" in this context. -
"using one-time bags into more organic utensils" -> "switching from single-use bags to more organic utensils"
Explanation: "Switching from" is a clearer and more formal way to describe the change, and "single-use bags" is a more precise term than "one-time bags." -
"will help the decomposition process happen more easily" -> "facilitates the decomposition process"
Explanation: "Facilitates" is a more formal and precise verb than "help," and it directly describes the action of making something easier. -
"some well-established firms can encourage their employees" -> "established companies can encourage their employees"
Explanation: "Established companies" is a more formal and precise term than "well-established firms," aligning better with academic style. -
"using our own containers" -> "using personal containers"
Explanation: "Personal containers" is a more formal and specific term than "our own containers," which can sound informal and possessive. -
"effectives solutions" -> "effective solutions"
Explanation: Corrects the typo "effectives" to "effective," ensuring grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: it identifies causes of increasing household waste and suggests measures to reduce it. The discussion on behavioral shifts due to modern conveniences, such as food delivery apps, effectively highlights a relevant cause. However, the solutions presented are somewhat vague and lack depth. For example, while raising awareness is mentioned, specific strategies or programs that could be implemented are not elaborated upon.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should provide more specific examples of causes and solutions. For instance, discussing how government policies or community initiatives could further reduce waste would strengthen the response. Including statistics or studies could also enhance the argument.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position on the issue of increasing household waste and the need for solutions. The introduction sets the tone well, and the conclusion reiterates the importance of addressing the problem. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother, as some points feel rushed or underdeveloped, which may confuse the reader about the overall stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should ensure that each paragraph logically flows into the next. Using transitional phrases can help connect ideas more cohesively. Additionally, reiterating the main argument in each paragraph could reinforce the position throughout the essay.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the causes and solutions for household waste. However, the support for these ideas is limited. For instance, the mention of food delivery apps as a cause is relevant, but it lacks statistical backing or further explanation of how this trend has evolved. Similarly, the solutions offered are not sufficiently supported with examples or potential impacts.
- How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and substantiate ideas, the writer should elaborate on each point with specific examples, data, or case studies. For instance, discussing a successful campaign that raised awareness about waste reduction could provide a concrete example of how awareness can lead to behavioral change.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on household waste and its causes and solutions. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more focused. For example, the phrase "the world is still significantly polluted" in the conclusion introduces a broader topic that could distract from the specific focus on household waste.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the writer should avoid introducing unrelated themes in the conclusion. Instead, they should summarize the main points discussed in the essay and reinforce the specific issue of household waste without veering into broader environmental concerns.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, enhancing specificity, coherence, and depth of support would elevate the response to a higher band score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing causes to solutions is somewhat abrupt. The phrase "However, we can still have some far-reaching resolutions to this problem" could be more effectively linked to the previous paragraph to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that clearly signal shifts in focus. For example, use phrases like "In addition to the causes mentioned," or "To address these issues," to guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with distinct sections for causes and solutions. However, the paragraphs could be better developed. The first paragraph introduces two causes but does not explore them in depth, which could leave the reader wanting more detail. The second paragraph presents solutions but lacks specific examples that could strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should ideally contain a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on the main idea. For example, in the causes paragraph, you could expand on how food ordering apps contribute to waste by including statistics or examples of specific packaging types. In the solutions paragraph, providing more concrete examples of awareness campaigns or successful initiatives could enhance the depth of discussion.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "In addition" and "However," to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, which can affect the overall flow. For instance, the use of "Moreover" in the solutions section is effective, but the essay could benefit from more varied connectors to enhance cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, use "Furthermore," "Consequently," and "On the other hand" to create smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to avoid repetition and maintain coherence throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly referring to "household waste," you could use "this issue" or "such waste" to maintain flow.
By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a better overall score in this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "household waste," "food packaging," and "artificial products." However, the use of phrases such as "the isue of increasing the amount of domestic waste" and "far-reaching resolutions" suggests a limited variety in expression. The vocabulary used tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly in discussing solutions and causes.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical range, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "waste," alternatives like "refuse," "garbage," or "trash" could be employed. Additionally, varying sentence structures and using more sophisticated vocabulary can elevate the essay’s overall quality.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "the more modern the world becomes, the more people rely on artificial products." This phrase could be clearer if it specified what types of "artificial products" are being referred to. Furthermore, "equivalent solutions" is a vague term that lacks clarity in context.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim to use specific terms that accurately convey their intended meaning. For example, instead of "artificial products," specifying "single-use plastics" or "non-biodegradable materials" would provide clearer insight. Additionally, replacing "equivalent solutions" with "effective solutions" or "practical measures" would enhance clarity.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "isue" instead of "issue" and "effectives" instead of "effective." These mistakes detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse readers.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement proofreading strategies, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and familiarizing oneself with the correct spelling of key vocabulary related to the topic can help reduce errors in future essays.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary relevant to the topic, there is significant room for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. Focusing on these areas will help elevate the lexical resource score in future writing tasks.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For instance, simple sentences like "This essay is devoted to the underlying roots" are used alongside more complex structures such as "If everyone acknowledges the damage to our environment and collaborates in making an effort to protect our environment, there will be a myriad of effective ways for humans to apply." However, the overall variety is limited, and some sentences are overly simplistic or repetitive, such as "the more modern the world becomes, the more people rely on artificial products."
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound and complex sentences. For example, instead of saying "It is easy to see that people usually use food ordering apps," you could say, "As people increasingly turn to food ordering apps, it becomes evident that their reliance on single-use packaging is growing." Additionally, varying sentence beginnings and using different conjunctions can help create a more engaging flow.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "the isue of increasing the amount of domestic waste" contains a typographical error ("isue" should be "issue"). There are also instances of missing spaces after commas, such as "In addition,the more modern the world becomes," which affects readability. Furthermore, phrases like "the more people rely on artificial products that take a lot of time to decompose in the environment" could be clearer if restructured.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay carefully to catch typographical errors and ensure proper punctuation. Practicing sentence restructuring can also help clarify meaning. For instance, instead of "which dramatically increases the number of one-time packaging like plastic bags over the time," consider "which dramatically increases the use of single-use packaging, such as plastic bags, over time." Additionally, focusing on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that articles ("a," "the") are used correctly will enhance overall grammatical accuracy.
Bài sửa mẫu
In several countries, the issue of increasing household waste, particularly food packaging, has gained significant attention. This essay focuses on the underlying causes, followed by some effective measures to address this urgent problem.
There are numerous reasons for the dramatic growth of household waste. The first reason is a shift in individual behavior in our fast-paced society. It is evident that people increasingly use food ordering apps like Shopeefood or Be Food, which significantly increases the amount of single-use packaging, such as plastic bags, over time. Additionally, as the world becomes more modern, people increasingly rely on artificial products that take a long time to decompose in the environment.
However, there are far-reaching solutions to this problem. It is clear that raising awareness among residents plays an important role in reducing household waste. If everyone acknowledges the damage to our environment and collaborates in making efforts to protect it, there will be a multitude of effective methods available. For example, people can switch from single-use bags to more organic utensils like paper bags, which facilitate the decomposition process. Moreover, well-established companies can encourage their employees to use personal containers when having lunch at the office.
In conclusion, the world is still significantly polluted, especially due to domestic waste like food packaging. There are effective solutions, such as raising awareness and promoting the use of personal containers, that can help mitigate this issue.