In many developing countries, the standard of living in cities is much higher than in the countryside. What difficulties might a country face because of this situation? How can these difficulties be solved?
In many developing countries, the standard of living in cities is much higher than in the countryside. What difficulties might a country face because of this situation? How can these difficulties be solved?
It is widely acknowledged that in a lot of developing countries, people experience a far better quality of life in cities compared to rural areas. This phenomenon can result in a host of problems, and this essay will suggest some feasible solutions to remedy the situation.
The urban-rural divide in standard living can cause significant consequences for the health and well-being of rural populations. Rural areas often have limited access to healthcare facilities, specialized medical professionals, and essential equipment. This leads to longer wait times, delayed diagnosis, and limited treatment options for rural residents. As a consequence, rural populations may experience higher rates of morbidity and mortality from various diseases and conditions.
Since such issues are serious, the government and individuals should take steps immediately to address these problems. The first solution would be to locate more funding for the training session, which can provide practical support to individuals in terms of healthcare service. This would generate more opportunities for the rural population to get access to better treatment. To end this, the government should build more clinics, train healthcare professionals, and provide medical facilities to ensure that people in the countryside have access to quality healthcare service.
In conclusion, the yawning chasm between the standard of living in urban and rural areas can cause imbalances in healthcare service between two main areas and a lack of quality healthcare in the countryside. The answers would involve policies that invest in medical treatment facilities and professional training for individuals to build huge and strong human resources to provide immediate support for villagers.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"It is widely acknowledged" -> "It is commonly recognized"
Explanation: "Commonly recognized" is a more precise and formal term that enhances the academic tone of the introduction, suggesting a broader consensus among experts or scholars. -
"a host of problems" -> "a multitude of issues"
Explanation: "A multitude of issues" is more formal and precise, fitting better in an academic context than the colloquial "a host of problems." -
"feasible solutions" -> "practical solutions"
Explanation: "Practical solutions" is a more precise term that emphasizes the effectiveness and applicability of the proposed solutions in a formal academic setting. -
"The urban-rural divide in standard living" -> "The disparity in living standards between urban and rural areas"
Explanation: "Disparity in living standards" is a more specific and formal phrase that accurately describes the difference in quality of life between urban and rural areas. -
"can cause significant consequences" -> "may lead to significant consequences"
Explanation: "May lead to" is a more cautious and academically appropriate phrase, indicating a potential outcome rather than a definite cause-and-effect relationship. -
"limited access to healthcare facilities, specialized medical professionals, and essential equipment" -> "restricted access to healthcare facilities, specialized medical professionals, and essential medical equipment"
Explanation: Adding "medical" before "equipment" clarifies the type of equipment being referred to, enhancing precision and specificity. -
"This leads to longer wait times, delayed diagnosis, and limited treatment options" -> "This results in longer wait times, delayed diagnoses, and limited treatment options"
Explanation: "Results in" is a more formal verb choice than "leads to," and "diagnoses" should be plural to match the plural context of "options." -
"The first solution would be to locate more funding for the training session" -> "The first solution would be to allocate additional funding for training sessions"
Explanation: "Allocate" is more precise and formal than "locate," and "training sessions" is plural to encompass multiple sessions, which is more appropriate in this context. -
"generate more opportunities" -> "provide more opportunities"
Explanation: "Provide" is a more direct and formal verb than "generate," which is often used in more abstract or metaphorical contexts. -
"To end this" -> "To address this"
Explanation: "To address this" is a more appropriate and formal way to introduce a solution, avoiding the colloquial "To end this." -
"yawning chasm" -> "significant gap"
Explanation: "Significant gap" is a more neutral and formal expression compared to the metaphorical "yawning chasm," which may be seen as overly dramatic for academic writing. -
"build huge and strong human resources" -> "develop substantial and robust healthcare infrastructure"
Explanation: "Develop substantial and robust healthcare infrastructure" is a more precise and formal way to describe the creation of healthcare facilities and personnel, aligning better with academic standards. -
"build huge and strong human resources" -> "develop substantial and robust healthcare infrastructure"
Explanation: This change is suggested to maintain consistency with the previous recommendation and to use more precise and formal language appropriate for an academic essay.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the difficulties faced due to the disparity in living standards between urban and rural areas, specifically focusing on healthcare access. The author identifies significant consequences for rural populations, such as limited healthcare access, which aligns with the first part of the question. However, the essay lacks a comprehensive exploration of other potential difficulties, such as economic disparities, educational access, and social issues that may arise from this urban-rural divide. The second part of the question regarding solutions is partially addressed, with suggestions for increasing funding and building clinics, but it could benefit from a broader range of solutions.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should explicitly identify and discuss a wider variety of difficulties faced by rural populations, such as economic decline, migration to cities, and educational disparities. Additionally, providing more diverse solutions, such as improving infrastructure, promoting rural development programs, and enhancing educational opportunities, would strengthen the overall response.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position regarding the negative impact of the urban-rural divide on healthcare access. The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the issue, and the argument is consistently focused on healthcare. However, the position could be made stronger by explicitly stating the importance of addressing these disparities in a broader context, such as social equity and national development.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the author should reiterate the main position throughout the essay, linking back to the broader implications of the urban-rural divide beyond just healthcare. Using transitional phrases to connect ideas and reinforcing the main argument in each paragraph would help maintain a clear stance.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear idea regarding the healthcare challenges faced by rural populations and supports it with relevant details about the consequences of limited access to healthcare. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the solutions provided are not elaborated upon sufficiently. The suggestion to increase funding for training sessions is vague and lacks specific examples of how this could be implemented or its potential impact.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the author should provide more detailed explanations and examples for each solution proposed. For instance, discussing specific programs that have successfully improved healthcare access in rural areas or outlining how funding could be allocated effectively would strengthen the argument. Additionally, extending the discussion to include social and economic solutions would provide a more comprehensive view.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the healthcare challenges arising from the urban-rural divide. However, there are moments where the discussion could veer slightly off-topic, particularly when suggesting solutions without adequately tying them back to the initial problems outlined. The conclusion reiterates the main points but could be more focused on summarizing the difficulties and solutions cohesively.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the main topic of the urban-rural divide and its consequences. Using clear topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph and ensuring that all supporting details relate back to the central argument will help keep the essay on track. Additionally, a more structured conclusion that succinctly summarizes the difficulties and proposed solutions would reinforce the essay’s focus.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the issue and the subsequent paragraphs that delve into specific difficulties and solutions. The progression from identifying the problems associated with the urban-rural divide in healthcare to proposing solutions is coherent. For instance, the transition from discussing the healthcare challenges faced by rural populations to suggesting funding for training sessions is smooth and logical, demonstrating an effective flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow further, the essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. For example, explicitly stating the problem in the first sentence of the second paragraph would reinforce the connection between the introduction and the body of the essay. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore" or "In addition" could help in linking ideas between sentences and paragraphs more explicitly.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in readability and comprehension. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, with the first addressing the problems and the second outlining potential solutions. However, the second paragraph could be further divided into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the issues and another on the solutions. This would enhance clarity and allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, consider breaking down complex ideas into separate paragraphs. For instance, after discussing the healthcare challenges in rural areas, a new paragraph could begin with a clear topic sentence introducing the solutions. This would not only improve the organization but also allow for a more detailed discussion of each solution, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "since," "as a consequence," and "to end this," which help to connect ideas and maintain the flow of the essay. These devices effectively guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, which can make the writing feel repetitive at times.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, using alternatives to "this" such as "these issues" or "the aforementioned problems" can enhance clarity. Additionally, incorporating more complex cohesive devices, such as "not only… but also" or "on the other hand," could help in contrasting ideas or expanding on points, thus enriching the overall coherence of the essay.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion with a solid logical structure, effective paragraphing, and appropriate use of cohesive devices, there are opportunities for improvement in enhancing logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices. Implementing these suggestions could elevate the essay’s overall clarity and effectiveness.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "urban-rural divide," "morbidity," and "healthcare facilities" indicating a good understanding of the topic. However, the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and lacks variation. For instance, the phrase "standard of living" appears multiple times without synonyms or paraphrasing, which could enhance the lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "standard of living," alternatives like "quality of life," "living conditions," or "socioeconomic status" could be employed. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives or adverbs could enrich the text, such as "significantly better quality of life" or "critically limited access."
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the term "training session" could be more accurately described as "training programs" or "workshops," which better conveys the idea of structured learning rather than a one-time event. Additionally, the phrase "huge and strong human resources" is vague and could be replaced with "skilled healthcare workforce" for clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that convey the intended meaning more clearly. This can be achieved by using a thesaurus to find more specific alternatives or by reviewing the context in which certain phrases are used to ensure they align with the intended message.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with no significant errors that impede understanding. Words such as "acknowledged," "consequences," and "facilities" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall clarity of the text.
- How to improve: While spelling is generally correct, the writer should continue to proofread their work to catch any minor errors that may arise. Utilizing spell-check tools or reading the essay aloud can help identify any overlooked mistakes. Furthermore, practicing commonly misspelled words related to the topic can enhance confidence in spelling accuracy.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and uses vocabulary effectively, but there is room for improvement in lexical variety, precision, and continued attention to spelling. By incorporating these suggestions, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and compound sentences. For example, the opening sentence effectively uses a complex structure: "It is widely acknowledged that in a lot of developing countries, people experience a far better quality of life in cities compared to rural areas." This showcases the ability to convey nuanced ideas. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For instance, the sentence "This leads to longer wait times, delayed diagnosis, and limited treatment options for rural residents" is somewhat repetitive in its structure, which could be enhanced by incorporating more varied sentence beginnings or using different conjunctions.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using introductory phrases, varying the order of clauses, and employing a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences throughout the essay. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "This leads to," try rephrasing to start with the consequence or using different transitions like "Consequently," or "As a result," to enhance flow and variety.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with few noticeable errors. However, there are some issues with punctuation that could be improved. For instance, the phrase "the standard of living in cities is much higher than in the countryside" could benefit from a comma for clarity if it were part of a longer sentence. Additionally, the phrase "the yawning chasm between the standard of living in urban and rural areas" is somewhat informal and could be rephrased for a more academic tone. The use of "huge and strong human resources" is also awkward and could be more concisely expressed.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay attention to punctuation rules, especially regarding commas in complex sentences. Additionally, strive for a more formal tone by avoiding colloquial expressions and ensuring that word choices are precise. Consider revising phrases that may sound informal or vague, such as "huge and strong human resources," to something more specific like "a robust healthcare workforce." Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on sentence construction can also help in refining these skills.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
It is commonly recognized that in many developing countries, people enjoy a significantly higher quality of life in cities compared to rural areas. This phenomenon can lead to a multitude of issues, and this essay will suggest some practical solutions to address the situation.
The disparity in living standards between urban and rural areas may lead to significant consequences for the health and well-being of rural populations. Rural areas often face restricted access to healthcare facilities, specialized medical professionals, and essential medical equipment. This results in longer wait times, delayed diagnoses, and limited treatment options for rural residents. Consequently, rural populations may experience higher rates of morbidity and mortality from various diseases and conditions.
Given the seriousness of these issues, both the government and individuals should take immediate steps to address these problems. The first solution would be to allocate additional funding for training sessions, which can provide practical support to individuals in terms of healthcare services. This would create more opportunities for the rural population to access better treatment. To address this, the government should develop substantial and robust healthcare infrastructure by building more clinics, training healthcare professionals, and providing necessary medical facilities to ensure that people in the countryside have access to quality healthcare services.
In conclusion, the significant gap between the standard of living in urban and rural areas can cause imbalances in healthcare services between these two regions and a lack of quality healthcare in the countryside. The solutions would involve implementing policies that invest in medical treatment facilities and professional training for individuals to build strong human resources capable of providing immediate support for rural communities.