In many nations, there is a growing emphasis on sustainable living and reducing environmental impact. What are the challenges of adopting a sustainable lifestyle?

In this day and age, many people from various countries claim that taking thorough consideration to secure sustainable living and mitigating the severity of the environment's influences have gradually become prevalent. Despite the idealistic nature of long-term implications on societies, numerous challenges that are caused by multiple factors prevent the suggestion from being successful.

First and foremost, this phenomenon might face several obstacles of awareness of people during its implementation, making it unrealistic in many situations. In this digital era, encountering escalations in the massive size of population and the influx of advanced technology, the preservation of inherent environments requires profound contribution from every single individual from all walks of life, posing a criterion to raise people's awareness. However, due the overwhelming number of citizens that a particular local authority has to handle, a collective productivity could be retarded from reaching a peak of accomplishment. Thus, sustainable lifestyle could fail to be met in many nations around the world.

Furthermore, research has consistently shown that not only societal developments impact living habitat but also the gap between the haves and the have-nots could spontaneously prevent the capability to maintain the sustainability of living conditions, affecting a desired lifestyle. For instance, people from the middle and lower class who literally possess an average socio-economic status could fail to have a fair shot for medical products and international services, putting their life on the edge of danger. These unstoppable tendencies could deteriorate if there is shortage of financial stability, especially in developing countries. As a result, people would struggle to operate their lives rather than striving for a sustainable lifestyle due to financial burdens.

In conclusion, although the proposal of pursuing a sustainable lifestyle and alleviating the harmful effects on environment has reached a certain consensus from substantial people, there are still unpredictable difficulties that directly or indirectly limit the accessibility of human beings towards their ideal living conditions.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In this day and age" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "In this day and age" is a colloquial expression. "Currently" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"taking thorough consideration to secure" -> "giving thorough consideration to securing"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect. "Giving thorough consideration to securing" corrects the grammatical structure and maintains the formal tone.
"mitigating the severity of the environment’s influences" -> "mitigating the environmental impact"
Explanation: "The environment’s influences" is awkward and vague. "Environmental impact" is a more precise and commonly used term in academic contexts.
"have gradually become prevalent" -> "have increasingly become prevalent"
Explanation: "Gradually" is somewhat vague; "increasingly" provides a clearer indication of the ongoing nature of the trend.
"the idealistic nature of long-term implications" -> "the idealistic nature of long-term implications on societies"
Explanation: Adding "on societies" clarifies the scope of the implications, enhancing the precision of the statement.
"numerous challenges that are caused by multiple factors" -> "numerous challenges resulting from various factors"
Explanation: "Caused by" is somewhat informal and vague; "resulting from" is more formal and precise.
"making it unrealistic in many situations" -> "rendering it unrealistic in many contexts"
Explanation: "Making it unrealistic" is informal; "rendering it unrealistic" is more formal and academically appropriate.
"the preservation of inherent environments" -> "the preservation of natural environments"
Explanation: "Inherent" is incorrectly used here; "natural" is the correct term for referring to the environment.
"a collective productivity could be retarded" -> "collective productivity might be hindered"
Explanation: "Retarded" can imply a negative connotation and is less precise; "hindered" is neutral and more appropriate for formal writing.
"a peak of accomplishment" -> "optimal levels of achievement"
Explanation: "A peak of accomplishment" is somewhat vague and informal; "optimal levels of achievement" is more precise and formal.
"due the overwhelming number of citizens" -> "due to the overwhelming number of citizens"
Explanation: "Due" should be "due to" for grammatical correctness.
"a fair shot for medical products and international services" -> "equal access to medical products and international services"
Explanation: "A fair shot" is an idiom; "equal access" is more formal and precise.
"putting their life on the edge of danger" -> "placing their lives at risk"
Explanation: "Putting their life on the edge of danger" is overly dramatic and informal; "placing their lives at risk" is more formal and appropriate.
"unstoppable tendencies" -> "persistent challenges"
Explanation: "Unstoppable tendencies" is an awkward and unclear phrase; "persistent challenges" is clearer and more formal.
"striving for a sustainable lifestyle" -> "pursuing a sustainable lifestyle"
Explanation: "Striving for" is slightly informal; "pursuing" is more direct and formal.
"substantial people" -> "many individuals"
Explanation: "Substantial people" is unclear and informal; "many individuals" is straightforward and appropriate for academic writing.
"unpredictable difficulties" -> "unforeseen challenges"
Explanation: "Unpredictable difficulties" is redundant; "unforeseen challenges" avoids redundancy and maintains formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the challenges of adopting a sustainable lifestyle by discussing obstacles related to awareness, societal developments, and economic disparities. It identifies key challenges such as population growth, technological advancements, and economic inequalities.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should ensure a more direct and explicit connection between each challenge discussed and its impact on sustainable living. Providing specific examples or data to illustrate these challenges would strengthen the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issues.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear stance that adopting a sustainable lifestyle is challenging due to various societal and economic factors. However, the clarity could be improved by more consistently linking each paragraph back to this central thesis.
- How to improve: Recommend explicitly stating the thesis in the introduction and ensuring each body paragraph clearly relates to and supports this position. Avoid tangential discussions that do not directly contribute to reinforcing the main argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas such as population growth, technological impact, and economic disparities, but lacks in-depth exploration and development of these ideas. There is limited elaboration on how these factors specifically challenge sustainable living.
- How to improve: Advise expanding each idea with specific examples or case studies that illustrate the challenges in detail. Additionally, provide deeper analysis or explore potential solutions to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the challenges of adopting a sustainable lifestyle. However, there are instances where the argument could be more focused, especially in maintaining a clear link between discussed challenges and their direct impact on sustainability.
- How to improve: Emphasize the importance of structuring each paragraph around a central theme related to sustainable living. Avoid drifting into discussions that are not directly relevant to the prompt, ensuring all points made contribute directly to addressing the challenges mentioned.

Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt and identifies relevant challenges to adopting a sustainable lifestyle, it would benefit from clearer organization, deeper analysis of each challenge, and stronger links between identified obstacles and their impact on sustainability. By providing more specific examples and maintaining a consistent focus on the central thesis throughout, the essay could achieve a higher band score by demonstrating a more thorough understanding and exploration of the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to organize information logically by addressing the challenges of sustainable living in two main paragraphs. It introduces the challenges related to awareness and societal inequality separately, providing examples and explanations for each. However, there is a need for clearer transitions between ideas to improve the overall coherence. For instance, the shift from discussing awareness to societal inequality could be smoother to enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To strengthen logical organization, consider using explicit transition phrases between paragraphs and ideas ("Moreover," "Additionally," "In contrast," etc.). Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and supports it with relevant examples consistently throughout.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to structure its content, but there are issues with paragraph coherence and structure. Each paragraph attempts to address a specific challenge related to sustainable living, but the development within paragraphs could be more focused. For instance, the second paragraph starts with a broad assertion about research findings but lacks specific examples or elaboration, which weakens its impact.
- How to improve: Aim for clearer topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Develop each idea fully with relevant examples or details to strengthen the argument. Ensure that paragraphs are well-balanced in length and contribute evenly to the overall coherence of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, such as transitions ("First and foremost," "Furthermore," "In conclusion") and pronouns ("this phenomenon," "these unstoppable tendencies"). However, the variety and effectiveness of these devices could be improved. There is a tendency to rely on basic transitional phrases without exploring a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., referencing previous points, using synonyms or parallel structures).
- How to improve: Expand the use of cohesive devices beyond basic transitions. Incorporate cohesive devices that clarify relationships between ideas (e.g., "as a result," "due to," "despite"), reference back to earlier points, or introduce new supporting arguments seamlessly. This will enhance the overall cohesion of the essay and strengthen the logical progression of ideas.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a sufficient level of coherence and cohesion to achieve a band score of 6, there is room for improvement in enhancing the clarity of transitions between ideas, refining paragraph structure and coherence, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. These adjustments will contribute to a more cohesive and logically organized essay, potentially raising the band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There are instances where appropriate vocabulary is used to discuss concepts such as "sustainable living," "mitigating environmental impact," and "societal developments." However, there is room for improvement in the diversity and sophistication of vocabulary. For example, repetitive use of phrases like "sustainable lifestyle" and "ideal living conditions" could be substituted with synonyms or more varied expressions to enhance lexical richness.
- How to improve: To broaden your lexical resource, consider integrating more specific terms related to environmental sustainability (e.g., renewable energy sources, eco-friendly practices), socioeconomic disparities (e.g., income disparity, economic inequality), and societal awareness (e.g., environmental consciousness, public engagement). Avoid repetitive phrases by exploring synonyms and idiomatic expressions where appropriate.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary that conveys the intended meaning, but there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, phrases like "long-term implications on societies" could be more precise by specifying the societal impacts of sustainable living. Additionally, some expressions lack specificity, such as "idealistic nature" and "overwhelming number of citizens," which could be clarified to enhance precision.
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the nuances of your ideas. Replace general terms with more precise language that directly addresses the challenges discussed, such as specifying the environmental, economic, and social impacts of unsustainable practices. This will help clarify your arguments and strengthen the overall coherence of your essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. However, there are some minor errors throughout, such as "escalations" instead of "escalating," "could spontaneously prevent" where "could potentially prevent" might be more accurate, and "affecting a desired lifestyle" which could be clearer as "affecting the achievement of a desired lifestyle."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider proofreading your work thoroughly before submission. Pay close attention to common errors such as subject-verb agreement and ensuring that verbs are conjugated correctly. Additionally, using a spell checker can help catch any overlooked mistakes. Developing a habit of revising your writing for spelling errors will contribute to a polished final product.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates competence in addressing the prompt and maintaining coherence, enhancing lexical variety, precision, and spelling accuracy will further elevate the quality of your writing and potentially improve your band score in Lexical Resource. These adjustments will not only clarify your arguments but also showcase a more nuanced understanding of the topic to the reader.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt at utilizing a variety of sentence structures. It employs complex sentences alongside simpler ones to convey ideas effectively. For instance, it uses conditional structures ("If there is shortage of financial stability") and relative clauses ("who literally possess an average socio-economic status") to add depth to the arguments presented.
- How to improve: To further enhance sentence structure variety, consider integrating more compound-complex sentences or inverted structures where appropriate. This can add further sophistication and clarity to your writing. Additionally, pay attention to sentence length variation to maintain reader engagement throughout the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammar and punctuation. There are, however, instances where incorrect article usage ("a profound contribution" instead of "profound contributions") and minor subject-verb agreement issues ("a collective productivity could be retarded") detract slightly from the precision of expression.
- How to improve: Focus on ensuring consistent and accurate use of articles (a, an, the) and attention to subject-verb agreement in complex sentences. Revising sentences for clarity and correctness during proofreading can significantly improve grammatical accuracy. Practicing punctuation rules, particularly regarding comma usage in complex sentences, will also enhance the overall clarity and flow of your writing.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a solid foundation in grammatical range and accuracy, continuing to diversify sentence structures and refine grammatical precision will elevate the clarity and sophistication of your writing, potentially leading to higher band scores in future assessments.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the present era, many individuals across various nations emphasize securing sustainable living and mitigating environmental impacts, which have increasingly become prevalent. Despite the optimistic long-term implications for societies, numerous challenges arising from various factors hinder the successful adoption of this proposal.

Firstly, awareness among people during implementation poses a significant obstacle, rendering it unrealistic in many contexts. In today’s digital age, with the burgeoning global population and rapid technological advancements, preserving natural environments demands profound commitment from every individual. However, managing such large numbers often hinders collective productivity, thereby limiting achievement of sustainable lifestyles in many nations.

Moreover, studies consistently highlight that societal disparities, particularly between different socio-economic groups, impede efforts to maintain sustainable living conditions. For instance, individuals with average socio-economic status from the middle and lower classes may struggle to access essential medical products and international services, placing their lives at risk. These disparities worsen in regions with limited financial stability, particularly in developing countries, where economic challenges overshadow efforts towards sustainable living.

In conclusion, while there is widespread agreement on the importance of pursuing sustainable lifestyles and reducing environmental impacts, unforeseen challenges persistently restrict human access to ideal living conditions. Achieving widespread adoption of sustainable practices remains a complex endeavor, requiring innovative solutions to address the multifaceted barriers hindering progress.