fbpx

In some cities and towns all over the world, traffic jam is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

In some cities and towns all over the world, traffic jam is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Traffic congestion has become a significant issue in many big cities and towns worldwide. The primary causes are the increasing population and an overreliance on private vehicles. To solve this problem, governments must implement effective and sustainable solutions.
One major reason for traffic jams is the rising population in urban areas. Numerous people settling in big cities seek good job opportunities leading to increasing population density in these areas. Besides, public transport is not yet developed which doesn't meet the mobility demand of many people. Therefore, people prefer to use personal vehicles which causes traffic jams because there are too many vehicles on the road during rush hours. For example, in cities like Jakarta and Mumbai, public transport is frequently overcrowded and unreliable, pushing commuters to use personal vehicles, and exacerbating traffic congestion. Another reason is the outdated infrastructure which does not accommodate modern traffic demands. Many cities have road systems that were built decades ago when the population was smaller and there were fewer cars. As cities grow and more vehicles are on the road, these outdated networks cannot efficiently handle the increased traffic. Narrow roads, insufficient lanes, and a lack of bypasses or flyovers can cause traffic density on the road to increase, which can cause traffic jams.
To address these issues, the government can implement some solutions. Firstly, they should invest in developing and improving public transport.For example, they replace older buses and trains with eco-friendly alternatives, such as electric buses or high-speed trains equipped with wifi, and air conditioning. This can attract more users due to cleaner, faster, and more comfortable travel options.As a result, there are fewer personal vehicles on the road and reduced traffic jamsIn addition, governments should prioritize upgrading road infrastructure to meet modern traffic demands. Constructing more bypasses, flyovers, and ring roads can help divert traffic away from congested city centers, improving traffic flow.
In conclusion, traffic congestion is a pressing issue driven by rapid population growth and outdated infrastructure. To tackle this, governments should invest in improving public transport and upgrading road networks, such as building bypasses and flyovers, to ensure smoother traffic flow and enhance the quality of urban life


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "big cities and towns" -> "major cities and towns"
    Explanation: "Major" is a more precise and formal term than "big," which is somewhat informal and vague in this context.

  2. "overreliance on private vehicles" -> "overreliance on private transportation"
    Explanation: "Transportation" is a more encompassing term that includes various modes of travel, making it more appropriate in an academic context discussing traffic congestion.

  3. "Numerous people settling" -> "Numerous individuals relocating"
    Explanation: "Relocating" is a more precise term than "settling," which can imply a more permanent or informal move, and "individuals" is more formal than "people."

  4. "public transport is not yet developed which doesn’t meet" -> "public transportation is not yet developed, failing to meet"
    Explanation: "Failing to meet" is a more formal and precise way to express the inadequacy of public transportation, and "transportation" is preferred over "transport" for formal writing.

  5. "people prefer to use personal vehicles" -> "individuals opt for personal vehicles"
    Explanation: "Opt for" is a more formal expression than "prefer," and "individuals" is preferred over "people" for a more academic tone.

  6. "there are too many vehicles on the road during rush hours" -> "there is an excessive number of vehicles on the road during peak hours"
    Explanation: "Excessive number" and "peak hours" are more precise and formal terms, enhancing the academic tone.

  7. "outdated infrastructure which does not accommodate" -> "outdated infrastructure that does not accommodate"
    Explanation: "That" is grammatically correct in this context, improving the sentence structure and formality.

  8. "Many cities have road systems that were built decades ago" -> "Numerous cities have road systems constructed decades ago"
    Explanation: "Constructed" is a more precise verb than "built," and "numerous" is more formal than "many."

  9. "cannot efficiently handle the increased traffic" -> "are unable to efficiently manage the increased traffic"
    Explanation: "Are unable to" is a more formal expression than "cannot," and "manage" is a more precise term than "handle" in this context.

  10. "traffic density on the road to increase" -> "traffic density on the roads increases"
    Explanation: "Increases" is a more direct and formal way to express the verb, and "roads" should be plural to match the context.

  11. "replace older buses and trains with eco-friendly alternatives" -> "replace older buses and trains with environmentally friendly alternatives"
    Explanation: "Environmentally friendly" is a more specific and formal term than "eco-friendly," which is somewhat colloquial.

  12. "fewer personal vehicles on the road and reduced traffic jams" -> "fewer private vehicles on the roads and reduced congestion"
    Explanation: "Private vehicles" is more specific than "personal vehicles," and "congestion" is a more precise term than "traffic jams."

  13. "Constructing more bypasses, flyovers, and ring roads" -> "Constructing additional bypasses, flyovers, and ring roads"
    Explanation: "Additional" is more precise and formal than "more," which is somewhat vague in this context.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt: it identifies the causes of traffic jams (increasing population and outdated infrastructure) and suggests solutions (improving public transport and upgrading road networks). Each cause is supported with relevant examples, such as the overcrowding of public transport in Jakarta and Mumbai, which strengthens the argument. However, while the causes are well-explained, the solutions could benefit from a broader range of examples or elaboration on their implementation.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could explore additional causes, such as urban planning issues or cultural factors influencing transportation choices. Furthermore, providing more specific examples of successful public transport initiatives from other cities could strengthen the proposed solutions.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that traffic congestion is a significant problem and that government intervention is necessary to address it. The stance is consistent throughout, with a logical flow from identifying causes to proposing solutions. However, the connection between the causes and the proposed solutions could be more explicitly stated to reinforce the argument.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer could explicitly link each cause to its corresponding solution. For instance, after discussing the outdated infrastructure, the writer could directly state how upgrading roads will alleviate the specific issues caused by this outdated system.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports its ideas well, with clear explanations of the causes and solutions. The use of examples, such as the mention of electric buses and high-speed trains, adds depth. However, some ideas could be further extended; for instance, discussing the potential challenges of implementing these solutions would provide a more rounded argument.
    • How to improve: The writer could enhance the essay by discussing potential obstacles to the proposed solutions, such as funding issues or public resistance to changes in transportation policy. This would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the complexities involved in addressing traffic congestion.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay stays focused on the topic of traffic congestion, with all points relevant to the causes and solutions. There are no significant deviations from the topic, which is commendable. However, some sentences could be more concise to maintain clarity and focus.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each sentence contributes directly to the main argument. This can be achieved by avoiding overly complex sentences and ensuring that each point is clearly linked back to the central theme of traffic congestion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the causes and solutions to traffic congestion. By incorporating the suggested improvements, the writer could further enhance the clarity and depth of their argument, potentially achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the problem and its causes. Each paragraph focuses on a specific cause or solution, which aids in understanding. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses population growth and its impact on traffic, while the second addresses outdated infrastructure. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument effectively.
    • How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs. For example, at the end of the first body paragraph, a transitional sentence could summarize the cause and hint at the next paragraph’s focus on infrastructure. This would create a smoother transition and reinforce the connection between ideas.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs, with each one addressing a distinct aspect of the topic. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs are well-structured, each beginning with a clear topic sentence. However, the final paragraph could be more distinct in summarizing the key points made in the body, as it currently feels somewhat abrupt.
    • How to improve: Strengthen the conclusion by briefly reiterating the main causes and solutions discussed in the body paragraphs. This not only reinforces the essay’s arguments but also provides a more cohesive ending. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph maintains a consistent focus and avoids introducing new ideas that could disrupt the flow.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "besides," "therefore," and "for example," which help connect ideas and provide clarity. However, there are moments where the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. For instance, the phrase "to address these issues" is effective, but similar phrases could be used more frequently to enhance cohesion throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: Diversify the range of cohesive devices by incorporating more synonyms and alternative phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "for example," consider using "such as," "for instance," or "to illustrate." Additionally, using conjunctions like "furthermore" or "in addition" can help to link ideas more fluidly and improve the overall coherence of the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion, further enhancing its effectiveness in communicating ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, using terms such as "traffic congestion," "increasing population," and "outdated infrastructure." However, there are instances where more varied vocabulary could enhance the writing. For example, the phrase "good job opportunities" could be replaced with "employment prospects" to elevate the language. Additionally, the term "personal vehicles" is repeated without variation; alternatives like "private cars" or "individual transport" could be utilized.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms. Keeping a thesaurus handy while drafting can help diversify word choice. Practicing with vocabulary exercises focused on synonyms and antonyms can also be beneficial.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys its ideas clearly, there are moments of imprecise vocabulary usage. For instance, the phrase "public transport is not yet developed" could be more accurately expressed as "public transport infrastructure is underdeveloped." This change provides clarity and specificity. Additionally, the phrase "which can cause traffic density on the road to increase" is somewhat awkward; a clearer expression would be "which can exacerbate traffic density."
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on the context of their vocabulary choices. Reading more academic texts can help identify how language is used in specific contexts. Furthermore, practicing paraphrasing sentences can enhance the ability to choose the most appropriate words.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of spelling accuracy, with no significant errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues such as missing spaces after punctuation (e.g., "public transport.For example" should be "public transport. For example"). Such errors can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should make it a habit to proofread their work carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch these minor errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through targeted exercises can reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay meets the criteria for a Band 6 in Lexical Resource, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "Numerous people settling in big cities seek good job opportunities leading to increasing population density in these areas" effectively convey multiple ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in "If the government invests in public transport, it can attract more users," adds depth to the argument. However, there are instances of simpler sentence constructions that could be enhanced for greater sophistication, such as "This can attract more users due to cleaner, faster, and more comfortable travel options."
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences and varying the placement of clauses. For example, instead of "Governments should prioritize upgrading road infrastructure," try "To meet modern traffic demands, governments should prioritize upgrading road infrastructure." This not only adds variety but also emphasizes the purpose of the action.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Generally, the essay displays a high level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are minor punctuation errors that detract from the overall clarity. For instance, the sentence "Firstly, they should invest in developing and improving public transport.For example, they replace older buses and trains with eco-friendly alternatives…" lacks a space after the period, which disrupts the flow. Additionally, the phrase "which doesn’t meet the mobility demand of many people" could be more effectively punctuated with a comma before "which" to clarify the clause.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on careful proofreading to catch minor punctuation errors. Additionally, consider revisingsentences for clarity and conciseness. For example, instead of "this can cause traffic density on the road to increase, which can cause traffic jams," you might say, "this can lead to increased traffic density and, consequently, traffic jams." This revision not only improves clarity but also reduces redundancy.

Overall, while the essay is strong in both grammatical range and accuracy, attention to detail in punctuation and further diversification of sentence structures will elevate the writing to an even higher standard.

Bài sửa mẫu

Traffic congestion has become a significant issue in many major cities and towns worldwide. The primary causes are the increasing population and an overreliance on private transportation. To address this problem, governments must implement effective and sustainable solutions.

One major reason for traffic jams is the rising population in urban areas. Numerous individuals relocating to big cities seek better job opportunities, leading to increased population density in these regions. Additionally, public transportation is not yet developed, failing to meet the mobility demands of many people. Consequently, individuals opt for personal vehicles, which causes traffic jams due to the excessive number of vehicles on the road during peak hours. For instance, in cities like Jakarta and Mumbai, public transport is frequently overcrowded and unreliable, pushing commuters to use personal vehicles and exacerbating traffic congestion.

Another contributing factor is the outdated infrastructure that does not accommodate modern traffic demands. Numerous cities have road systems constructed decades ago when the population was smaller and there were fewer cars. As cities grow and more vehicles are on the road, these outdated networks are unable to efficiently manage the increased traffic. Narrow roads, insufficient lanes, and a lack of bypasses or flyovers can lead to an increase in traffic density, resulting in further congestion.

To address these issues, the government can implement several solutions. Firstly, they should invest in developing and improving public transportation. For example, they could replace older buses and trains with environmentally friendly alternatives, such as electric buses or high-speed trains equipped with Wi-Fi and air conditioning. This can attract more users due to cleaner, faster, and more comfortable travel options. As a result, there would be fewer private vehicles on the roads and reduced congestion.

In addition, governments should prioritize upgrading road infrastructure to meet modern traffic demands. Constructing additional bypasses, flyovers, and ring roads can help divert traffic away from congested city centers, thereby improving traffic flow.

In conclusion, traffic congestion is a pressing issue driven by rapid population growth and outdated infrastructure. To tackle this, governments should invest in improving public transportation and upgrading road networks, such as building bypasses and flyovers, to ensure smoother traffic flow and enhance the quality of urban life.

Bài viết liên quan

IELTS Writify

Chấm IELTS Writing Free x GPT

Lưu ý

Sắp bảo trì server

Để đảm bảo tính ổn định của web, web sẽ thực hiện backup dữ liệu hàng ngày từ 3h-3h30 sáng

Rất mong quý thầy cô và học viên thông cảm vì bất tiện này