In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.
What are the reasons for this?
How can people research this?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. Discoveries about our home rich background lead to a deeper connection with the location we live in, generating mental health benefits. This task has been made very easy with the arrival of the Internet.
There are two reasons for this. First, the reason is that the value of the house can increase because of the old house or the long history of that house. That can affect the price of the house and the owner can make more money from it. For example, the houses in Hoi An ancient town are typical of houses with history that increase their value and attract many tourists. This will increase income and highlight the value of the house as well as retain the beauty of history. Another, spiritual things or feng shui are also a reason. Vnese avoid buying house with bad reputation. That can bring bad luck to the buyer.
To know the history of the house we can use the internet. For example, we search on Google, Facebook or newspapers. Or if we are neighbors who have lived there for a long time, we ask the neighbors to know what the house is like.
In conclusion, the history of the home or structure they live in is starting to pique people's curiosity. I think it will help they get more knowledgeable about the past.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "more and more people are becoming interested" -> "an increasing number of individuals are showing interest"
   Explanation: The revised phrase "an increasing number of individuals are showing interest" sounds more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

2. "Discoveries about our home rich background" -> "Discoveries regarding the rich background of our homes"
   Explanation: The corrected phrase "regarding the rich background of our homes" improves grammatical correctness and clarity, making the sentence more formal and academically suitable.

3. "generating mental health benefits" -> "yielding benefits for mental health"
   Explanation: "Yielding benefits for mental health" is more precise and formal, fitting better within an academic context.

4. "This task has been made very easy" -> "This task has been significantly facilitated"
   Explanation: "Significantly facilitated" is more formal and academically appropriate than "made very easy," which sounds too simplistic for an academic essay.

5. "the value of the house can increase because of the old house" -> "the value of the property may increase due to its historical significance"
   Explanation: "The value of the property may increase due to its historical significance" is more precise and avoids redundancy, enhancing the academic quality of the statement.

6. "the owner can make more money from it" -> "the owner may derive greater financial benefit"
   Explanation: "May derive greater financial benefit" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to express the potential financial advantages.

7. "spiritual things or feng shui" -> "spiritual beliefs or feng shui principles"
   Explanation: Adding "beliefs" and "principles" provides clarity and formality to the subjects being discussed, aligning better with academic style.

8. "Vnese avoid buying house with bad reputation." -> "Individuals avoid purchasing properties with negative reputations."
   Explanation: "Individuals avoid purchasing properties with negative reputations" is more formal and avoids the informal abbreviation "Vnese," making the statement universally understandable and academically appropriate.

9. "we search on Google, Facebook or newspapers" -> "one may conduct searches via Google, Facebook, or through newspapers"
   Explanation: Changing from "we search" to "one may conduct searches" shifts the sentence to a more formal, impersonal tone, which is preferred in academic writing.

10. "we ask the neighbors" -> "inquiries can be made with neighbors"
    Explanation: "Inquiries can be made with neighbors" is more formal and removes the first-person perspective, aligning with the expectations of academic writing.

11. "is starting to pique people’s curiosity" -> "is beginning to arouse the curiosity of individuals"
    Explanation: "Is beginning to arouse the curiosity of individuals" is a more formal way to express the growing interest among people, suitable for an academic context.

12. "I think it will help they get more knowledgeable" -> "It is believed this will enhance their knowledge"
    Explanation: Changing "I think it will help they get more knowledgeable" to "It is believed this will enhance their knowledge" removes the first-person narrative and corrects the grammatical mistake ("they get" to "their knowledge"), making the statement more formal and appropriate for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing reasons why people are interested in the history of their homes and how they can research it. It identifies two reasons: the potential increase in the house’s value due to its history and spiritual beliefs like feng shui. However, it lacks depth in discussing how people can research the history of their houses beyond a brief mention of using the Internet or asking neighbors.
  • How to improve: To improve, ensure a comprehensive exploration of all aspects of the prompt. Consider elaborating on various methods of researching house history, such as consulting historical records, visiting local archives, or seeking assistance from professionals like historians or architects. Additionally, delve deeper into the reasons behind the increasing interest in house history, considering cultural, societal, and personal motivations.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a somewhat clear position by suggesting that people’s interest in house history is driven by factors such as increased property value and spiritual beliefs. However, the position could be strengthened by providing more explicit statements or arguments supporting this stance.
  • How to improve: Strengthen the clarity of the essay’s position by explicitly stating the thesis in the introduction and reinforcing it throughout the body paragraphs. Clearly articulate the significance of understanding house history and its implications for individuals and communities.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the reasons for the growing interest in house history, such as financial gain and spiritual beliefs. However, these ideas lack elaboration and are not adequately supported with examples or evidence. The example provided regarding the value of houses in Hoi An ancient town is relevant but needs further development.
  • How to improve: Extend and support ideas by providing more detailed explanations, examples, and evidence. Develop each reason mentioned by offering specific instances, statistics, or anecdotes to illustrate their significance. Additionally, ensure coherence between ideas to strengthen the overall argumentation.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by addressing reasons for the increasing interest in house history. However, it briefly digresses into discussing the impact of house history on property value and feng shui beliefs without fully connecting them back to the main topic.
  • How to improve: Maintain a clear focus on the topic throughout the essay by avoiding tangential discussions. Ensure that every point made directly contributes to the exploration of why people are interested in house history and how they can research it effectively. Connect all ideas back to the central theme to enhance coherence and relevance.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of organization, with clear introduction, body, and conclusion sections. However, within paragraphs, there are instances where ideas could be better connected and developed. For instance, the transition between discussing the value of historical houses and the use of the Internet for research feels somewhat abrupt. Additionally, the conclusion could tie back more directly to the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider providing smoother transitions between ideas within paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point or aspect of the topic, with clear topic sentences to guide the reader. Additionally, ensure that the conclusion summarizes the key arguments presented in the body paragraphs and reinforces the main thesis statement.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs adequately to separate different ideas, with distinct sections for the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, some paragraphs lack coherence and unity, particularly the second paragraph, which addresses multiple reasons for the growing interest in house history without clear separation between them. Additionally, the paragraphs could be more varied in length to create a more visually engaging structure.
  • How to improve: Consider refining paragraph structure to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea or reason. Use topic sentences to introduce the main point of each paragraph, followed by supporting details and examples. Aim for a balance between paragraph lengths to maintain reader interest and flow throughout the essay.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases ("first," "another") and pronouns ("this," "that"). However, these devices are used somewhat sparingly, leading to a choppy flow between ideas. Additionally, there is limited use of more sophisticated cohesive devices, such as parallelism or repetition, which could enhance coherence and cohesion.
  • How to improve: Increase the use of cohesive devices to improve the flow and coherence of the essay. Incorporate a variety of transitional phrases and cohesive markers to connect ideas more smoothly. Additionally, consider employing parallel structure and repetition to reinforce key points and create a more cohesive narrative.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic level of coherence and cohesion, there is room for improvement in organizing information more logically, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. By focusing on these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of clarity and coherence, ultimately enhancing the overall effectiveness of the communication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While it covers the topic adequately, there is room for improvement in diversifying the vocabulary further. For instance, there’s repetition of phrases like "history of the house" and "the value of the house." Additionally, there’s potential to introduce more varied synonyms and expressions related to the topic.
  • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider employing synonyms and varied expressions. Instead of repeatedly using "history of the house," one could use alternatives like "historical background of the dwelling" or "ancestral heritage of the residence." Expanding vocabulary through reading diverse materials and actively noting down new words and phrases would be beneficial.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally utilizes vocabulary with moderate precision. However, there are instances where the language could be more precise. For example, in the sentence, "Discoveries about our home rich background lead to a deeper connection with the location we live in," the phrase "home rich background" lacks precision and could be clarified.
  • How to improve: Aim for more precise and specific language. Instead of "home rich background," consider specifying what aspects of the home’s history contribute to the connection. For instance, "Discoveries about the historical significance of our home foster a deeper connection with our surroundings."

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is generally acceptable. However, there are some minor errors, such as "Vnese" instead of "Vietnamese" and missing articles ("the") in certain places ("the long history of that house" should be "the long history of that house").
  • How to improve: Proofreading carefully can help catch and correct spelling errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through activities like word games and writing exercises can enhance accuracy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates competency in lexical resource, refining vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy can elevate the quality of expression and contribute to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of sentence structures. There is an attempt at complex structures, such as "Discoveries about our home rich background lead to a deeper connection with the location we live in, generating mental health benefits." However, there is a tendency towards simpler structures throughout the essay, with some sentences lacking complexity and variety.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, try incorporating more complex sentence forms such as compound-complex sentences, relative clauses, and participial phrases. For instance, instead of solely relying on simple sentences, aim to combine ideas using subordinating conjunctions or relative pronouns to create more sophisticated structures.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays generally accurate grammar and punctuation usage, but there are several instances of errors throughout. For example, "Discoveries about our home rich background lead to a deeper connection with the location we live in" should be "Discoveries about our home’s rich background lead to a deeper connection with the location in which we live." Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas before introductory phrases.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and noun-pronoun agreement. Proofreading carefully for punctuation errors, especially regarding comma usage in complex sentences and after introductory elements, will also help enhance clarity and coherence in your writing. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

In several countries, an increasing number of individuals are showing interest in discovering the history of the house or building they reside in. Discoveries regarding the rich background of our homes can yield benefits for mental health, fostering a deeper connection with our living environment. This task has been significantly facilitated by the widespread availability of the Internet.

There are two main reasons for this growing interest. Firstly, the value of the property may increase due to its historical significance. This can have a direct impact on the selling price, enabling the owner to derive greater financial benefit. For instance, houses in renowned historical areas such as Hoi An ancient town exemplify how a rich history can enhance property value, attracting tourists and elevating income while preserving the beauty of the past. Secondly, spiritual beliefs or feng shui principles also play a role, as individuals often avoid purchasing properties with negative reputations, fearing potential negative repercussions on luck and well-being.

To research the history of a house, individuals can utilize various resources available online. For example, one may conduct searches via Google, Facebook, or through newspapers. Alternatively, inquiries can be made with neighbors who have resided in the area for an extended period, providing valuable insights into the property’s past.

In conclusion, the history of the home or structure individuals reside in is beginning to arouse the curiosity of individuals, as they recognize the potential benefits of understanding their living environment’s background. It is believed this will enhance their knowledge and appreciation of the past, fostering a deeper connection with their homes.