In some countries, more people are choosing to live alone or in a small family rather than in an extended family. Do you think this is a positive or negative trend?

In recent times, there is a widespread belief that many people prefer to live alone or with their life partner, whereas others claim that living in an extended family is a good option. Although there are valid points supporting the latter, I hold the personal belief that living alone or with life partner is the best choice. In this essay, I will explore both perspectives prior to expressing my viewpoint.
There are several reasons why some believe that living in an extended family is a good idea. There is no denying that saving money is one of the major advantages of living in an extended family as family members often share expenditures such as grocery… Furthermore, family with many generations usually maintain their custom and cultural values and give them from ancestors to descendants. This preserves tradition in the family unit.
On the other hand, I believe that living alone or with a small family is the best choice. The fewer people we live with, the fewer arguments we will have, and the easier to tackle family issues. Firstly, with fewer members to manage, cook for, care for, and more able to manage their daily responsibilities. Next, living independently can provide more flexibility in term of daily routines, social schedules, and career choices. People can travel more frequently to discover a lot of things around the world without looking after another person. Another reason why many people prefer to live by themself because it can provide opportunities for personal growth and self-reflection. Individuals may have more time to focus on their own goals and interests. In addition, with fewer members in the house, there may be reduced carbon footprint and less waste generated.
In conclusion, living alone or with a small family is seen as a desirable lifestyle choice. It is common for young adults to live by themself before getting married or starting a family.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In recent times" -> "Recently"
Explanation: "Recently" is a more concise and formal alternative to "In recent times," which is slightly redundant and less commonly used in academic writing.
"prefer to live alone or with their life partner" -> "prefer to live alone or with a life partner"
Explanation: Removing "their" before "life partner" corrects the possessive error and aligns with the formal style of academic writing.
"is a good option" -> "is a viable option"
Explanation: "Viable" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "good," which is too vague and informal for academic discourse.
"I hold the personal belief" -> "I maintain the belief"
Explanation: "Maintain" is a more formal and less personal verb than "hold," which is more suitable for academic writing.
"prior to expressing my viewpoint" -> "before presenting my perspective"
Explanation: "Presenting my perspective" is a more formal expression than "expressing my viewpoint," aligning better with academic style.
"There is no denying that" -> "It is undeniable that"
Explanation: "It is undeniable that" is a more formal and concise way to introduce a statement that is widely accepted as true.
"family with many generations" -> "multigenerational family"
Explanation: "Multigenerational family" is a more precise and formal term than the vague "family with many generations."
"give them from ancestors to descendants" -> "pass down from ancestors to descendants"
Explanation: "Pass down" is a more specific and academically appropriate verb than "give," which is too informal and vague in this context.
"The fewer people we live with, the fewer arguments we will have" -> "The fewer individuals with whom we live, the fewer disputes we will encounter"
Explanation: "Individuals with whom we live" and "disputes we will encounter" are more formal and precise than "people we live with" and "arguments we will have."
"easier to tackle family issues" -> "more manageable family issues"
Explanation: "More manageable" is a more formal and precise term than "easier," which is too colloquial for academic writing.
"more able to manage their daily responsibilities" -> "better equipped to manage their daily responsibilities"
Explanation: "Better equipped" is a more formal and precise phrase than "more able," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"in term of" -> "in terms of"
Explanation: "In terms of" is the correct prepositional phrase for discussing comparisons or categories.
"discover a lot of things around the world" -> "explore numerous aspects of the world"
Explanation: "Explore numerous aspects of the world" is more formal and precise than "discover a lot of things around the world," which is too casual and vague.
"by themself" -> "by themselves"
Explanation: "By themselves" is the correct form for the plural subject "many people," correcting the grammatical error.
"can provide opportunities for personal growth and self-reflection" -> "offers opportunities for personal growth and self-reflection"
Explanation: "Offers" is a more formal verb than "can provide," enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"with fewer members in the house" -> "with fewer occupants"
Explanation: "Occupants" is a more formal and precise term than "members," which is too informal for this context.
"living alone or with a small family" -> "living independently or with a small family"
Explanation: "Independently" is a more precise term than "alone," which is too informal and vague for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both perspectives on living arrangements, discussing the advantages of extended families as well as the benefits of living alone or in small families. The first paragraph sets the stage for a balanced discussion, mentioning the validity of both sides. However, while the essay does present both viewpoints, the exploration of the extended family perspective is somewhat limited and lacks depth. For instance, the mention of financial savings and cultural preservation is brief and could be expanded with more specific examples or elaboration.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should provide more detailed explanations and examples for both perspectives. This could involve discussing specific cultural practices that are preserved in extended families or providing statistics on financial savings. A more thorough exploration of the implications of each living arrangement would also strengthen the essay.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer clearly states their position in favor of living alone or in small families in the introduction and reiterates this stance throughout the essay. However, the transition between discussing the advantages of extended families and returning to the writer’s viewpoint could be smoother. The phrase "On the other hand" signals a shift, but the connection between the two perspectives could be made more explicit.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should ensure that transitions between ideas are seamless. Using linking phrases that reinforce the contrast between the two viewpoints can help clarify the writer’s stance. Additionally, reiterating the main argument at the end of each paragraph could reinforce the position taken.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the preference for living alone or in small families, such as reduced conflict and increased personal growth. However, some points lack sufficient development. For example, the idea of a reduced carbon footprint is introduced but not elaborated upon, leaving the reader wanting more information on how this is achieved.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with examples, anecdotes, or data. For instance, discussing how living alone can lead to a more sustainable lifestyle could involve mentioning specific practices that contribute to a lower carbon footprint. Ensuring that each point is fully developed will enhance the overall quality of the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the pros and cons of living arrangements. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt. For example, the conclusion mentions young adults living alone before marriage, which, while relevant, could be more explicitly tied back to the overall trend being discussed.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central question of whether the trend of living alone or in small families is positive or negative. Revisiting the prompt in the conclusion and summarizing how the discussed points support the writer’s viewpoint would strengthen the essay’s coherence and relevance.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument. By addressing the suggestions for improvement, the writer can enhance the depth and clarity of their response, potentially raising their band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are organized to discuss both perspectives, which is effective in addressing the prompt. However, the transition between the discussion of extended families and the argument for living alone could be smoother. For instance, the shift from the advantages of extended families to the benefits of living alone feels abrupt, lacking a clear linking sentence that would guide the reader through the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the benefits of extended families, a sentence like "Conversely, many individuals find that living alone or in smaller family units offers distinct advantages" would create a more seamless transition.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument. However, the second body paragraph could be further divided into smaller paragraphs to improve clarity, especially since it covers multiple points regarding the benefits of living alone.
- How to improve: Consider breaking the second body paragraph into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the personal benefits of living alone (e.g., flexibility, personal growth) and another on the environmental benefits (e.g., reduced carbon footprint). This would allow for a more focused discussion of each point and enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "on the other hand" and "firstly,"which help in linking ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and some sentences lack clear connections. For instance, the phrase "Another reason why many people prefer to live by themself" could be better linked to the previous point about personal growth.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "in addition," "furthermore," and "consequently." Additionally, ensure that each point flows logically into the next by using phrases that clarify relationships, such as "This leads to…" or "As a result of this…". This will enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve greater coherence and cohesion, potentially improving the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, with terms like "widespread belief," "expenditures," and "personal growth." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "living alone" and "small family," which could be varied to enhance the richness of the text. Additionally, phrases such as "the best choice" and "good idea" are somewhat simplistic and could be replaced with more sophisticated alternatives.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeating "living alone," you might use "solitary living" or "independent living." Similarly, instead of "good idea," consider phrases like "beneficial option" or "advantageous choice." Expanding your vocabulary through reading diverse materials can also help.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecision. For example, the phrase "give them from ancestors to descendants" is awkward and unclear. The intended meaning seems to be about passing down traditions, but the wording does not convey this effectively. Additionally, "the easier to tackle family issues" lacks grammatical structure, making it difficult to understand.
- How to improve: Focus on clarity and grammatical accuracy. Instead of "give them from ancestors to descendants," you could say "pass down traditions from one generation to the next." For the phrase "the easier to tackle family issues," consider rephrasing it to "the easier it is to tackle family issues." Regularly practicing sentence structure and clarity in writing can enhance precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "by themself" (should be "by themselves") and "in term of" (should be "in terms of"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading routine. After writing, take a break and then review your work with fresh eyes. Additionally, using spell-check tools and maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words can be beneficial. Practicing writing regularly and focusing on spelling in context can also help solidify correct forms.

By addressing these areas for improvement, you can enhance your lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, phrases such as "Although there are valid points supporting the latter" and "On the other hand, I believe that living alone or with a small family is the best choice" showcase the use of subordinating conjunctions and transitional phrases effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the second body paragraph, where several sentences begin similarly, which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "The fewer people we live with," try rephrasing to include participial phrases or questions. Additionally, integrating more complex sentences that combine ideas could enrich the writing. For example, "While living in an extended family may offer financial benefits, the independence gained from living alone fosters personal growth."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that affect clarity. For instance, "family with many generations usually maintain their custom" should be "families with many generations usually maintain their customs." Additionally, the phrase "easier to tackle family issues" lacks a subject, making it an incomplete thought. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are missing commas that could improve readability, such as before "and more able to manage their daily responsibilities."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that all sentences are complete. Regularly reviewing basic grammar rules can help identify common errors. For punctuation, practice using commas to separate clauses and items in a list, which will enhance clarity. For example, revise "the easier to tackle family issues" to "the easier it is to tackle family issues." Additionally, proofreading for these common mistakes can significantly elevate the overall quality of the writing.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score, reflecting a more sophisticated command of grammatical range and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent times, there is a widespread belief that many people prefer to live alone or with a life partner, whereas others claim that living in an extended family is a viable option. Although there are valid points supporting the latter, I maintain the belief that living alone or with a life partner is the best choice. In this essay, I will explore both perspectives before presenting my viewpoint.

There are several reasons why some believe that living in an extended family is a good idea. It is undeniable that saving money is one of the major advantages of living in an extended family, as family members often share expenditures such as groceries. Furthermore, a multigenerational family usually maintains its customs and cultural values, which can be passed down from ancestors to descendants. This helps to preserve tradition within the family unit.

On the other hand, I believe that living independently or with a small family is the best choice. The fewer individuals with whom we live, the fewer disputes we will encounter, making it easier to tackle family issues. Firstly, with fewer members to manage, cook for, and care for, individuals are better equipped to manage their daily responsibilities. Next, living independently offers more flexibility in terms of daily routines, social schedules, and career choices. People can travel more frequently to explore numerous aspects of the world by themselves without needing to look after another person. Another reason why many people prefer to live alone is that it provides opportunities for personal growth and self-reflection. Individuals may have more time to focus on their own goals and interests. In addition, with fewer occupants in the house, there may be a reduced carbon footprint and less waste generated.

In conclusion, living alone or with a small family is increasingly seen as a desirable lifestyle choice. It is common for young adults to live independently before getting married or starting a family.