In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a negative or positive situation?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.
Why might this be the case?
Do you think this is a negative or positive situation?

It is undeniable that in several nations around the world, the tendency of owning a house is dominant, compared to renting one. There are some factors that could be explained for this trend, including sustainability and convenience it brings to owners. Possessing a house is definitely a good aspect as it plays as a driving force brings a sense of safety for the hosts.
Having a house is believed to make the owner’s budget sustainable because they do not have to pay a large amount of money for the house’s rental fee. Which means that it allows them to have more abilities in order to save money and use it for other essential things in their lives. Moreover, more individuals prefer purchasing houses or apartments than renting them due to its convenience and comfort. This is because there will be more private spaces for the hosts so that they can enjoy and do whatever they want in their own house, which are the things that are hardly seen in some major rental houses. For instance, some people might want to show their lifestyle through the constructions where they live in so they easily have more options in decorating, building and buying furniture.
Owning a house instead of renting one is definitely a good trend due to some positives. Firstly, for some people buying a house is such a big target that they have to achieve in their career. This makes many individuals believe it is a good motivation to force them to work harder and therefore those will be able to earn the money buying a house rather than paying a large fee monthly. Secondly, it tends to be safer for people because of the modern door systems used by the owners that can prevent the house from thieves but these systems are not developed in many rental buildings. Additionally, in some emergency situations such as conflagration, individuals could escape easily from the home while for many of residents who have to rent the house it is more difficult due to the poor fire suppression system in their places.
In conclusion, owning a house becomes important for its sustainability and convenience, it also brings a lot of benefits for the owners.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is undeniable" -> "It is evident"
Explanation: "It is evident" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "It is undeniable," which can sound slightly colloquial and emotional in an academic context.
"the tendency of owning a house" -> "the trend of homeownership"
Explanation: "The trend of homeownership" is a more precise and formal term that avoids the awkward phrasing of "the tendency of owning a house."
"compared to renting one" -> "compared to renting"
Explanation: Removing "one" after "renting" simplifies the phrase and maintains the formal tone.
"could be explained for this trend" -> "can be attributed to this trend"
Explanation: "Can be attributed to" is a more precise and formal expression than "could be explained for," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"Possessing a house is definitely a good aspect" -> "Homeownership is undoubtedly advantageous"
Explanation: "Homeownership is undoubtedly advantageous" is more concise and formal, replacing the informal "Possessing a house is definitely a good aspect."
"plays as a driving force brings" -> "serves as a driving force that brings"
Explanation: Adding "that" corrects the grammatical structure and enhances the formal tone.
"the hosts" -> "the homeowners"
Explanation: "Homeowners" is the correct term for those who own houses, whereas "hosts" is inappropriate in this context.
"more abilities in order to save money" -> "greater financial flexibility"
Explanation: "Greater financial flexibility" is a more precise and formal way to describe the increased financial capabilities resulting from homeownership.
"more private spaces for the hosts" -> "more private spaces for the homeowners"
Explanation: Again, "homeowners" is the correct term, replacing "hosts."
"hardly seen in some major rental houses" -> "rarely found in many rental properties"
Explanation: "Rarely found in many rental properties" is more precise and formal than "hardly seen in some major rental houses."
"such a big target" -> "a significant goal"
Explanation: "A significant goal" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "such a big target," which is colloquial.
"force them to work harder" -> "encourage them to work more diligently"
Explanation: "Encourage them to work more diligently" is a more formal and motivational phrase than "force them to work harder."
"it tends to be safer" -> "it is generally safer"
Explanation: "It is generally safer" is a more definitive and formal expression than "it tends to be safer," which is somewhat vague.
"the modern door systems used by the owners" -> "the advanced security systems employed by homeowners"
Explanation: "The advanced security systems employed by homeowners" is more specific and formal, replacing the less precise "the modern door systems used by the owners."
"it also brings a lot of benefits" -> "it also offers numerous benefits"
Explanation: "Offers numerous benefits" is more formal and precise than "brings a lot of benefits," which is somewhat informal and vague.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing why owning a home is important and presenting a viewpoint on whether this situation is positive or negative. The writer mentions factors like sustainability and convenience, which are relevant to the first part of the question. However, the response could benefit from a more explicit connection between these factors and the societal implications of homeownership. For instance, while the essay touches on the financial benefits of owning a home, it does not sufficiently explore the broader social or economic contexts that might contribute to this trend.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should explicitly link the reasons for homeownership to societal values or economic conditions in different countries. Additionally, providing a more balanced view by acknowledging potential downsides of homeownership would enhance the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally positive stance on homeownership, indicating that it is beneficial for individuals. However, the position could be clearer, especially in the second part of the prompt where the writer is asked to evaluate whether this trend is positive or negative. The phrase "definitely a good trend" is somewhat vague and does not provide a strong, clear position. The essay lacks a definitive conclusion regarding the overall impact of homeownership.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Using phrases like "I believe" or "In my opinion" can help clarify the stance. Additionally, a more structured argument that acknowledges counterarguments would provide a more nuanced perspective.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to homeownership, such as sustainability, convenience, and safety. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, while the writer mentions that owning a home allows for more personal expression through decoration, this point could be expanded with more specific examples or statistics to substantiate the claim. The support for the argument regarding safety is also limited; it would be more compelling with concrete examples or data.
- How to improve: To effectively present and extend ideas, the writer should include more detailed examples and evidence to support their claims. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or real-life scenarios that illustrate the benefits of homeownership. Additionally, exploring potential counterarguments would enrich the discussion and demonstrate critical thinking.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the importance of homeownership and its perceived benefits. However, some sentences could be more concise and directly related to the main argument. For instance, the mention of emergency situations and fire suppression systems, while relevant, could be better integrated into the overall argument about safety and security.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each point made directly supports the main argument. This can be achieved by reviewing each paragraph to confirm that all sentences contribute to the central thesis. Additionally, avoiding tangential details that do not directly relate to the prompt will help keep the essay focused.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, there is room for improvement in clarity, depth, and coherence. By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of their response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the importance of homeownership over renting. The introduction effectively sets the stage by stating the trend and hinting at the reasons behind it. However, the organization within paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the second paragraph begins with a point about sustainability but then shifts abruptly to convenience without a clear transition. This can confuse readers about the main focus of the paragraph.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using topic sentences that clearly outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, ensure that each point is developed fully before transitioning to the next. For example, after discussing sustainability, a concluding sentence could summarize that point before moving on to convenience.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate ideas, which is a strength. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. The first paragraph contains multiple ideas that could be split into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on sustainability and the other on convenience. This would allow for deeper exploration of each idea.
- How to improve: Aim for a clear structure where each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by examples. For instance, after discussing the benefits of owning a home in terms of sustainability, a new paragraph could start with a clear topic sentence about convenience, followed by supporting details. This will help maintain clarity and focus.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "moreover," "firstly," and "secondly," which help in linking ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the transition from discussing the financial benefits of homeownership to the safety aspects feels abrupt.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "in addition," "furthermore," or "on the other hand" to create smoother transitions between points. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can enhance cohesion within paragraphs.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments. By focusing on improving logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "sustainability," "convenience," and "conflagration" used appropriately. However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation in word choice, such as the frequent use of "house" and "owners." For example, the phrase "the tendency of owning a house" could be enhanced with synonyms or related terms like "property ownership" or "real estate."
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and related phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "house," consider using "home," "property," or "residence." Additionally, exploring more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as "homeownership" or "real estate investment," could elevate the essay’s language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "plays as a driving force brings a sense of safety for the hosts" is awkwardly constructed and lacks clarity. The term "hosts" is also misleading in this context; "homeowners" would be more appropriate.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clear and grammatically correct constructions. Revising awkward phrases for clarity is essential. For example, "plays a driving force in providing a sense of safety for homeowners" would be clearer. Additionally, ensuring that terms accurately reflect their intended meaning will enhance overall precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally good level of spelling accuracy, with no glaring errors. However, there are minor issues, such as "conflagration," which, while spelled correctly, may not be the most appropriate word choice for the context. The phrase "large fee monthly" could be more effectively expressed as "monthly rental fee."
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch any overlooked errors. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly used terms in the context of homeownership and renting can aid in selecting the most appropriate vocabulary.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid foundation in lexical resource, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "there are some factors that could be explained for this trend" and "this makes many individuals believe it is a good motivation" showcases an ability to construct sentences that convey complex ideas. However, some sentences are overly long and convoluted, which can hinder clarity. For instance, "this is because there will be more private spaces for the hosts so that they can enjoy and do whatever they want in their own house, which are the things that are hardly seen in some major rental houses" could be simplified for better readability.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more varied sentence beginnings and using different conjunctions to connect ideas. Additionally, aim to break down longer sentences into shorter, clearer ones to enhance readability and ensure that each idea is communicated effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, the phrase "the tendency of owning a house is dominant" could be more effectively expressed as "the tendency to own a house is dominant." Additionally, the use of "which means that it allows them to have more abilities" is awkward; a more precise phrasing would be "which allows them to save more money." Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could improve clarity, such as before "which are the things that are hardly seen in some major rental houses."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help solidify these concepts. For punctuation, review rules regarding the use of commas and periods, particularly in complex sentences. Reading essays or articles can also help develop a better sense of punctuation in context.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on clarity and precision in both sentence structure and grammar will help elevate the score further.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is evident that in several nations around the world, the trend of homeownership is dominant compared to renting one. There are various factors that can be attributed to this trend, including the sustainability and convenience it brings to homeowners. Possessing a house is undoubtedly advantageous as it serves as a driving force that brings a sense of safety for the residents.

Owning a house is believed to make the owner’s budget more sustainable because they do not have to pay a large amount of money for rental fees. This means that it allows them greater financial flexibility to save money and allocate it for other essential aspects of their lives. Moreover, more individuals prefer purchasing houses or apartments rather than renting them due to the convenience and comfort they offer. This is because there are more private spaces for homeowners, allowing them to enjoy and do whatever they want in their own home—features that are rarely found in many rental properties. For instance, some people might want to express their lifestyle through the design of their living space, which gives them more options in decorating, building, and buying furniture.

Owning a house instead of renting one is definitely a positive trend for several reasons. Firstly, for many individuals, buying a house is a significant goal that they strive to achieve in their careers. This motivates them to work more diligently, enabling them to earn the money needed to purchase a house rather than paying a large monthly fee for rent. Secondly, it is generally safer for homeowners due to the advanced security systems employed, which can prevent theft—systems that are often not developed in many rental buildings. Additionally, in emergency situations such as a fire, individuals can escape more easily from their homes, while many residents who rent may find it more challenging due to inadequate fire suppression systems in their properties.

In conclusion, owning a house is important for its sustainability and convenience, and it also offers numerous benefits for homeowners.