In some parts of the world, it is increasingly popular to research the history of one’s own family. Why do people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development?

These days, there is a growing trend towards studying genealogy on a global scale. This tendency can be attributed to a whole host of reasons, and I think it could confer tremendous benefits on people who pursue this.
The reasons why some people have a tendency to trace their family roots back through generations are manifold. The first rationale is that people want to acquire profound knowledge about themselves and their roots. This is because individuals can gain a richer sense of belonging and connection to a larger legacy by piecing together stories and experiences of their predecessors. Therefore, this can foster a sense of where they came from. Another reason is that some want to discover common trends with their family members of previous generations. The reason for this is that uncovering common threads with past generations can provide a sense of continuity and comfort. As a result, individuals might see themselves as part of a larger story, which fosters a sense of pride in their heritage.
Researching one’s family heritage is substantially beneficial for some reasons. Firstly, this can serve medical purposes. This is because by tracing the prevalence of diseases across generations, people can gain a clearer understanding of their own genetic predispositions. As a result, proactive health measures, such as earlier screenings for illnesses like heart disease or certain cancers can be taken. Secondly, delving into family history can also foster stronger family bonds. In fact, researching past generations can bolster a sense of identity and connection, which allows families to piece together narratives of resilience and triumphs. Moreover, the stories unearthed can become cherished family lore, passed down to future generations, solidifying the sense of lineage and tradition.
In conclusion, the trend of tracing one’s family roots can be ascribed to certain driving factors, and I would consider it to be a positive modern development.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"These days" -> "Presently" or "Currently"
Explanation: "These days" is somewhat informal and lacks precision. "Presently" or "Currently" provide a more formal and precise introduction to the discussion.
"growing trend" -> "increasing inclination"
Explanation: "Growing trend" is a bit colloquial. "Increasing inclination" maintains the idea of growth but in a more formal manner.
"tendency" -> "propensity" or "inclination"
Explanation: "Tendency" is slightly informal. "Propensity" or "Inclination" are more formal alternatives that convey a similar meaning.
"a whole host of reasons" -> "a myriad of factors" or "a multitude of reasons"
Explanation: "A whole host of reasons" is a casual expression. "A myriad of factors" or "A multitude of reasons" offer more sophisticated alternatives.
"I think" -> "I believe" or "It is believed"
Explanation: "I think" is somewhat informal. "I believe" or "It is believed" are more appropriate in academic writing as they convey the idea with greater authority.
"individuals" (repeated usage) -> "persons" or "individuals"
Explanation: While "individuals" is appropriate, for variety, "persons" can be used interchangeably in a formal context.
"The reasons why" -> "The rationale for"
Explanation: "The reasons why" is somewhat redundant. "The rationale for" is a more concise and formal phrase.
"manifold" -> "numerous" or "varied"
Explanation: "Manifold" is quite formal and might seem overly complex. "Numerous" or "Varied" convey the same idea in a simpler manner.
"profound knowledge" -> "deep understanding"
Explanation: "Profound knowledge" is slightly informal. "Deep understanding" is more formal and academic.
"This is because" (repeated usage) -> "This can be attributed to" or "This is due to"
Explanation: "This is because" is a common phrase but can be replaced with more formal alternatives such as "This can be attributed to" or "This is due to" in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all aspects of the prompt. It discusses the reasons why people are increasingly interested in researching their family history, covering both the motivations behind this trend and evaluating whether it is positive or negative.
- How to improve: To further enhance the comprehensiveness of the response, consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support the arguments made.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout. It argues that researching one’s family history is a positive development, and this stance is evident from the introduction to the conclusion.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, ensuring that each paragraph reinforces this stance explicitly can strengthen the coherence of the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas and extends them with detailed explanations and examples. Each paragraph provides a coherent argument, supported by relevant details.
- How to improve: To further enhance the depth of the analysis, consider exploring counterarguments or alternative perspectives and refuting them to strengthen the argumentation.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a strong focus on the topic throughout, discussing the reasons behind the popularity of researching family history and evaluating its implications.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that each paragraph directly contributes to addressing the prompt can further strengthen its relevance and coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively presents a well-structured argument in support of the positive aspects of researching one’s family history. To improve further, the writer could enrich the essay with more specific examples, reinforce the clarity of their position in each paragraph, delve deeper into the analysis, and ensure that every part of the essay directly contributes to addressing the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a clear organizational structure, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of why people research their family history. The introduction succinctly introduces the topic and the reasons behind the trend, while the body paragraphs delve into specific rationales, such as acquiring knowledge about oneself, medical benefits, and strengthening family bonds. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer’s stance. However, there are minor instances where transitions between ideas could be smoother, slightly affecting the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, consider refining transitions between paragraphs to ensure a seamless flow of ideas. For instance, employing transitional phrases like "Furthermore" or "Additionally" can help signal shifts between different reasons for researching family history, thereby improving coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The introduction sets the stage for discussing the reasons behind the growing popularity of genealogy research, while subsequent paragraphs explore different motivations and benefits. Each paragraph maintains a clear focus and contains relevant supporting details. However, some paragraphs could benefit from stronger topic sentences to more explicitly introduce the main idea.
- How to improve: Strengthening topic sentences can enhance paragraph coherence and guide readers more effectively through the essay’s structure. For instance, in the paragraph discussing the benefits of researching family history for medical purposes, a clearer topic sentence could explicitly state the main point, such as "One significant benefit of tracing family heritage is the potential for proactive health measures through understanding genetic predispositions."
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of cohesive devices, including cohesive conjunctions (e.g., "therefore," "secondly"), pronouns (e.g., "this," "that"), and transitional phrases (e.g., "in conclusion"). These devices help connect ideas within and between sentences, contributing to overall coherence. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the types of cohesive devices used and employing them more consistently throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion, consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as synonyms for common transitional phrases or more varied sentence structures. Additionally, ensure consistent use of cohesive devices throughout the essay to strengthen the logical connections between ideas and improve overall coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, including both general and more specific terms related to the topic. For instance, phrases like "genealogy," "acquire profound knowledge," "prevalence of diseases," and "genetic predispositions" are used effectively. These terms enrich the discussion and show an attempt to vary vocabulary.
- How to improve: To further enhance your lexical resource score, aim to incorporate more nuanced or academic vocabulary where appropriate. For example, instead of "some reasons," consider using "factors" or "rationales," and instead of "tendency," consider "trend" or "propensity." This will show a higher level of lexical sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately. For instance, "uncovering common threads," "proactive health measures," and "bolster a sense of identity" are precise and fit well within the context. However, there are a few instances where more precise vocabulary could be used. For example, instead of "some people have a tendency," you could say "some people are inclined to."
- How to improve: Aim for more precise vocabulary choices throughout the essay. Replace general terms with more specific alternatives, like "acquire profound knowledge" with "gain deep insights" or "foster a sense of pride" with "instill a sense of pride." This will help in demonstrating more nuanced control over vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate, with a few minor errors such as "rationale" instead of "rationale" and "lore" instead of "lore." These do not significantly impact communication.
- How to improve: To further improve spelling accuracy, ensure careful proofreading and consider using spell-check tools to catch any overlooked errors. Reviewing each essay draft with a focus on spelling accuracy can also be helpful.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a solid grasp of vocabulary, with a range of terms that generally meet the band 7 criteria. To improve, focus on incorporating more precise and academic vocabulary throughout the essay. Keep practicing and refining your usage to achieve even greater clarity and sophistication in your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, incorporating simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively. There is a mix of sentence lengths and structures throughout the essay, enhancing readability and coherence. For instance, there are instances of complex sentences such as "Researching one’s family heritage is substantially beneficial for some reasons," which adds depth and sophistication to the writing.
- How to improve: While the essay already showcases a good range of sentence structures, further diversification could enhance its overall impact. Introducing occasional rhetorical devices like parallelism or varied clause structures could add flair to the prose. Additionally, careful attention to sentence fluency and rhythm can elevate the overall readability and engagement of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and punctuation overall. Sentences are structured correctly, and there are minimal grammatical errors throughout the text. Punctuation marks are used accurately to enhance clarity and convey meaning effectively. For example, the proper use of commas in phrases like "Firstly, this can serve medical purposes" aids in signaling transitions and organizing the content logically.
- How to improve: While the essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, occasional minor errors can still be found. Careful proofreading to catch any remaining grammatical inconsistencies or punctuation mistakes would further polish the essay. Additionally, paying attention to parallelism in sentence structures and maintaining consistency in verb tense usage can refine the overall coherence and precision of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

These days, there is a growing trend towards studying genealogy on a global scale. This inclination can be attributed to various reasons, and I believe it could offer significant benefits to those who pursue it.

The reasons why some individuals have a tendency to trace their family lineage back through generations are plentiful. The primary rationale is that people seek to gain profound knowledge about themselves and their ancestry. This is because individuals can develop a deeper sense of belonging and connection to a broader legacy by assembling stories and experiences of their forebears. Consequently, this can nurture a sense of origin. Another reason is that some wish to uncover commonalities with their ancestors. The rationale behind this is that identifying shared traits with previous generations can provide a sense of continuity and solace. Consequently, individuals might perceive themselves as part of a larger narrative, fostering a sense of pride in their heritage.

Exploring one’s family history yields substantial benefits for several reasons. Firstly, it can serve medical purposes. This is because by tracing the prevalence of diseases across generations, individuals can gain a clearer understanding of their genetic predispositions. Consequently, proactive health measures, such as early screenings for illnesses like heart disease or certain cancers, can be implemented. Secondly, delving into family history can also strengthen familial bonds. In fact, researching past generations can enhance a sense of identity and connection, enabling families to weave together narratives of resilience and triumphs. Furthermore, the uncovered stories can become treasured family tales, passed down to future generations, solidifying the sense of lineage and tradition.

In conclusion, the trend of tracing one’s family roots can be attributed to various driving factors, and I would consider it to be a positive contemporary development.