In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?​

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers.
Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?​

With today’s modernized technology, driverless transportation is no longer so strange. So the drivers initially inexpensively became passengers of these vehicles. Driverless cars offer significant benefits but also bring considerable challenges. Driverless cars offer significant benefits but also bring considerable challenges.

First, driverless cars will help improve traffic safety because they are not driven by humans but are equipped with sensors and artificial intelligence that can quickly identify and react to dangerous situations. Therefore, it will minimize accidents related to drunk driving and reduce the number of people killed in traffic accidents. In addition, driverless cars also help optimize traffic. They can have a dense network of interconnected systems to ensure transportation and minimize travel time. Most people now use electric cars because they can reduce environmental pollution and save fuel. In addition, driverless vehicles also contribute a huge part to helping the disabled and the elderly when traveling.

On the other hand, security and privacy issues are also a concern, as self-driving cars can be hacked, endangering passengers, there are also privacy concerns when the car collects the personal data of users because machines are built by humans and controlled by humans, so saving human resources is a good thing, but unmanned vehicles are also extremely dangerous when they can be hacked or attacked, causing interference at any time. However, driverless cars also pose some disadvantages. The application of this technology can cause unemployment for millions of drivers, affecting their income and life. For example, they can usually drive a few hundred kilometers a day, earning a few million, but when driverless vehicles appear, the unemployment rate, as well as the reduction of staff, increases because machines work more efficiently and do not need to spend too much time on personal activities like humans.

In conclusion, driverless cars may offer many benefits, but an appropriate solution is needed to minimize the risks and disadvantages they bring.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "With today’s modernized technology" -> "With the current advanced technology"
   Explanation: The phrase "today’s modernized technology" is redundant and informal. "The current advanced technology" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.

2. "no longer so strange" -> "is no longer unusual"
   Explanation: "So strange" is informal and vague. "Unusual" is more precise and appropriate for formal academic language.

3. "drivers initially inexpensively became passengers" -> "drivers initially became passengers at a reduced cost"
   Explanation: "Inexpensively" is an adjective that is awkwardly used here. "At a reduced cost" is clearer and more formal.

4. "significant benefits but also bring considerable challenges" -> "significant benefits, but also pose considerable challenges"
   Explanation: Adding a comma after "benefits" improves the sentence structure, and "pose" is more precise than "bring" in this context, indicating the challenges as a direct action.

5. "will help improve traffic safety" -> "can enhance traffic safety"
   Explanation: "Will help" implies certainty, which may not be entirely accurate. "Can enhance" suggests potential, which is more accurate in discussing the capabilities of driverless cars.

6. "quickly identify and react to dangerous situations" -> "rapidly detect and respond to hazardous situations"
   Explanation: "Quickly" is somewhat informal; "rapidly" is more formal. "Detect" and "respond" are more precise terms than "identify" and "react."

7. "minimize accidents related to drunk driving" -> "reduce accidents caused by drunk driving"
   Explanation: "Minimize" is less specific than "reduce," and "related to" is less formal than "caused by."

8. "optimize traffic" -> "optimize traffic flow"
   Explanation: "Optimize" is a vague term; "optimize traffic flow" specifies the aspect of traffic being improved.

9. "contribute a huge part to helping" -> "significantly contribute to assisting"
   Explanation: "Contribute a huge part to helping" is awkward and informal. "Significantly contribute to assisting" is more formal and precise.

10. "saving human resources is a good thing" -> "conserving human resources is advantageous"
    Explanation: "Saving human resources is a good thing" is informal and vague. "Conserving human resources is advantageous" is more formal and specific.

11. "unmanned vehicles are also extremely dangerous" -> "unmanned vehicles pose significant risks"
    Explanation: "Extremely dangerous" is an exaggeration and informal. "Pose significant risks" is more measured and formal.

12. "can be hacked or attacked" -> "may be compromised or breached"
    Explanation: "Hacked or attacked" is informal and imprecise. "Compromised or breached" are more technical and appropriate terms in the context of cybersecurity.

13. "can usually drive a few hundred kilometers a day" -> "typically drive several hundred kilometers daily"
    Explanation: "Can usually drive" is informal and vague. "Typically drive" is more precise, and "daily" is more formal than "a day."

14. "earning a few million" -> "earning several million"
    Explanation: "A few million" is informal and imprecise. "Several million" is more specific and formal.

15. "the unemployment rate, as well as the reduction of staff" -> "the unemployment rate and staff reductions"
    Explanation: "The reduction of staff" is awkward and redundant. "Staff reductions" is a more concise and formal expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles, which is essential for the prompt. The writer identifies key benefits such as improved traffic safety, optimization of traffic, and assistance for the disabled and elderly. However, the discussion of disadvantages, while present, could be more balanced and detailed. For instance, the mention of unemployment due to automation is relevant, but it lacks depth and specific examples that could strengthen the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each part of the question is explored in a balanced manner. This can be achieved by providing more detailed examples and statistics related to both advantages and disadvantages. For instance, discussing specific studies or data on traffic accidents before and after the implementation of driverless technology could provide a stronger foundation for the claims made.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that acknowledges both sides of the argument, ultimately suggesting that the advantages may not outweigh the disadvantages. However, the conclusion could be clearer regarding the writer’s stance. The phrase "an appropriate solution is needed" is vague and does not strongly reinforce the position taken in the body of the essay.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear position throughout, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and reiterate it more decisively in the conclusion. A stronger concluding statement that summarizes the main arguments and clearly states whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages would enhance the overall clarity.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the benefits and drawbacks of driverless vehicles. However, some points are repeated, such as the mention of safety and efficiency, which detracts from the overall development of ideas. Additionally, while the writer introduces various points, they often lack sufficient elaboration or supporting evidence. For example, the claim about driverless cars improving safety could benefit from specific examples or data to substantiate it.
  • How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to avoid redundancy and instead focus on expanding each point with relevant examples, statistics, or expert opinions. This could involve researching studies that demonstrate the effectiveness of driverless technology in reducing accidents or discussing real-world implications of unemployment in the driving sector.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing driverless vehicles and their implications. However, some sentences are convoluted and could lead to confusion about the main argument. For instance, the sentence about machines being built and controlled by humans seems tangential and could distract from the main focus on driverless vehicles.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each sentence contributes directly to the argument being made. This can be achieved by revising complex or unclear sentences and ensuring that all points made are relevant to the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles. A clear outline before writing could help in organizing thoughts and ensuring that each paragraph remains on topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, but it could benefit from deeper exploration of ideas, clearer positioning, and improved coherence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the two sides of the argument. The body paragraphs are organized into advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles, which is a logical approach. However, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing benefits directly to addressing drawbacks feels abrupt, and the connection between the two could be more explicitly stated to enhance overall coherence.
  • How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly indicate a shift in focus, such as "On the other hand," or "Conversely," followed by a brief recap of the previous point. Additionally, creating subheadings for each section can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, some paragraphs could be further developed to ensure that each point is fully explored. For example, the paragraph discussing the benefits of driverless cars introduces several ideas but could benefit from more detailed explanations or examples for each point made.
  • How to improve: To enhance paragraph effectiveness, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. Follow this with supporting sentences that elaborate on the topic, providing examples or evidence where applicable. This will not only strengthen the argument but also provide clearer structure within each paragraph.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "therefore," "in addition," and "on the other hand," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the flow could be improved with additional linking words or phrases. For example, the repetition of "driverless cars" at the beginning of multiple sentences can disrupt the flow.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "consequently," and "despite this," to create more nuanced connections between ideas. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to avoid redundancy. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "driverless cars," you could refer to them as "these vehicles" or "autonomous vehicles" to maintain variety and enhance cohesion.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a stronger overall argument and improved score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of driverless vehicles. Terms such as "artificial intelligence," "traffic safety," "environmental pollution," and "unemployment" are effectively used to convey the main ideas. However, there is a noticeable repetition of phrases, particularly "driverless cars offer significant benefits but also bring considerable challenges," which detracts from the overall lexical variety. This redundancy suggests a limited range of synonyms or alternative expressions.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "driverless cars offer significant benefits," alternatives like "autonomous vehicles provide substantial advantages" or "self-driving cars present notable benefits" could be used. Expanding the vocabulary related to technology and societal impacts would also enrich the essay.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "drivers initially inexpensively became passengers" is awkward and unclear. The intended meaning may be that traditional drivers will transition to being passengers in driverless vehicles, but the wording does not effectively communicate this. Additionally, the term "machines are built by humans and controlled by humans" is somewhat redundant and could be expressed more succinctly.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and conciseness. Revising unclear phrases for better clarity is essential. For example, rephrasing to "traditional drivers will transition to passengers in autonomous vehicles" would enhance understanding. Additionally, using specific terms related to technology and safety (e.g., "cybersecurity threats" instead of "can be hacked") would improve precision.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays correct spelling throughout, with no glaring errors that would impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as "a few million" which lacks specificity and could be misleading in context. While spelling is not a major issue, clarity in numerical representation is also part of effective communication.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling and clarity, the writer should ensure that numerical expressions are clear and contextually appropriate. For instance, instead of "a few million," specifying "several million dollars" would provide clearer information. Regular practice with spelling and reviewing common technical terms in the context of the essay topic can also help maintain accuracy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, focusing on expanding vocabulary range, improving precision in language use, and maintaining clarity in numerical expressions will help elevate the lexical resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the sentence "Driverless cars offer significant benefits but also bring considerable challenges" effectively combines two independent clauses with a coordinating conjunction, showcasing the writer’s ability to create complex ideas. However, the essay also contains repetitive structures, particularly in the opening sentences, where the phrase "driverless cars offer significant benefits but also bring considerable challenges" is repeated verbatim. This repetition detracts from the overall variety of sentence structures.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should aim to incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of repeating the same sentence, the writer could say, "While driverless cars offer significant benefits, such as improved traffic safety and reduced environmental pollution, they also present considerable challenges that must be addressed." Additionally, using a wider range of conjunctions and transition phrases would help in creating more fluid and varied sentence constructions.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are several instances where punctuation and grammatical structures could be improved. For example, the sentence "On the other hand, security and privacy issues are also a concern, as self-driving cars can be hacked, endangering passengers, there are also privacy concerns when the car collects the personal data of users" is a run-on sentence that lacks proper punctuation to separate independent clauses. Additionally, the phrase "saving human resources is a good thing, but unmanned vehicles are also extremely dangerous" could be clearer with better punctuation, such as a semicolon or a period to separate the two independent clauses.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, the writer should focus on breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones or using appropriate punctuation to separate ideas. For example, the aforementioned run-on sentence could be revised to: "On the other hand, security and privacy issues are also a concern. Self-driving cars can be hacked, which endangers passengers. Furthermore, there are privacy concerns regarding the collection of personal data by these vehicles." Regular practice with sentence structure and punctuation rules, as well as proofreading for clarity and coherence, will significantly enhance the overall grammatical quality of the writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, there are areas for improvement in sentence variety and punctuation accuracy. By diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation usage, the writer can elevate their writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

With the current advanced technology, driverless transportation is no longer unusual. As a result, drivers have initially become passengers in these vehicles at a reduced cost. Driverless cars offer significant benefits, but they also pose considerable challenges.

First, driverless cars can enhance traffic safety because they are not operated by humans; instead, they are equipped with sensors and artificial intelligence that can rapidly detect and respond to hazardous situations. Consequently, this technology will minimize accidents caused by drunk driving and reduce the number of fatalities in traffic incidents. In addition, driverless cars help optimize traffic flow. They can operate within a dense network of interconnected systems to ensure efficient transportation and minimize travel time. Furthermore, many people now use electric cars, which can reduce environmental pollution and conserve fuel. Driverless vehicles also significantly contribute to assisting the disabled and the elderly in their travel needs.

On the other hand, security and privacy issues are significant concerns. Self-driving cars can be hacked, endangering passengers. There are also privacy concerns regarding the collection of personal data by these vehicles. Since machines are built and controlled by humans, while conserving human resources is advantageous, unmanned vehicles pose significant risks. They may be compromised or breached, leading to potential dangers. Moreover, the introduction of this technology could result in unemployment for millions of drivers, adversely affecting their income and livelihoods. For instance, drivers typically drive several hundred kilometers daily, earning several million; however, with the advent of driverless vehicles, the unemployment rate and staff reductions may increase, as machines work more efficiently and do not require personal time like humans.

In conclusion, while driverless cars may offer numerous benefits, it is essential to implement appropriate solutions to minimize the risks and disadvantages they present.