In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers.
Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

With the advent of technology and human intelligence, scientists gradually change transportations from a driver to automobile. Mostly this revolution comes from the demand to have comfortable and safety trip. However, it is inevitable that there will be accident or some disconnected systems.
There are several advantages that drive this shift into preference especially for the convenience and the awareness of people in the road. Technically, human will request the location and then this auto device will bring them to the exact position, which solves some issues nowadays. For example, when they are in an unfamiliar place, they don’t have to stop by the road and search in the map, which make them waste their time to navigate. Or they want to make conversation with another person or having a speed meal without worrying about the traffic light. Moreover, accident can be improved as well as the individual’s attitude when travelling. Thanks for the help of artificial intelligence, human will eliminate the fear of moving in the crowded area and traffic violations. Therefore, they can enjoy their trip and develop the driverless industry.
However, the appeal of advantages associated with a range of problems. The main drawback is the connection, which becomes useless when disconnected. As a result, these automobile vehicles can’t control the system or stop immediately. That cause traffic congestion and serious incidents. People will have an unpleasant experience when suffering this matter. Furthermore, individuals would rather drive on their own because some of them consider as a hobby or a desire to bring their customers to places. Additionally, the birth of this invention can affect to driver’s employment. They seldom have passengers and receive less salary, which lead to the unemployment. Also, when there are many inactive cars situated in the footpath, it’s inconvenient for pedestrian and vendors selling.
In conclusion, it’s true that the transport will transform into automobile, which there is only passengers. While they can enjoy their convenience and safety, they can get through some troubles during the trip when the system doesn’t work out. I suggest that government should balance the driverless production and self-driving human to allow the function of modern vehicles as well as the individual’s employment.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "scientists gradually change transportations from a driver to automobile" -> "scientists are gradually transitioning transportation from driver-operated to autonomous vehicles"
   Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and unclear. The suggested revision clarifies the subject and verb, and uses "autonomous vehicles" which is a more precise and commonly accepted term in academic and technical contexts.

2. "Mostly this revolution comes from the demand to have comfortable and safety trip" -> "This revolution primarily stems from the demand for comfortable and safe travel"
   Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revision corrects the grammar and uses "safe travel" which is a more formal and precise term than "safety trip".

3. "it is inevitable that there will be accident or some disconnected systems" -> "it is inevitable that accidents or system failures will occur"
   Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and vague. The revision corrects the grammar and specifies the types of incidents, enhancing clarity and formality.

4. "drive this shift into preference" -> "drive this shift in preference"
   Explanation: The preposition "into" is incorrect in this context. "In" is the correct preposition to use when referring to a shift in preference.

5. "human will request the location" -> "humans will request the location"
   Explanation: "Human" should be pluralized to "humans" to match the context of multiple individuals using the technology.

6. "which solves some issues nowadays" -> "which addresses several contemporary issues"
   Explanation: "Solves some issues nowadays" is informal and vague. "Addresses several contemporary issues" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.

7. "which make them waste their time to navigate" -> "which wastes their time navigating"
   Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and grammatically incorrect. The revision simplifies and corrects the grammar, improving readability and formality.

8. "having a speed meal" -> "having a quick meal"
   Explanation: "Speed meal" is an incorrect idiom. "Quick meal" is the correct term, enhancing clarity and formality.

9. "Thanks for the help of artificial intelligence" -> "thanks to the assistance of artificial intelligence"
   Explanation: "Thanks for the help" is too informal for academic writing. "Thanks to the assistance" is more formal and appropriate for the context.

10. "human will eliminate the fear" -> "humans will eliminate their fear"
    Explanation: "Human" should be pluralized to "humans" to match the context of multiple individuals, and "their" is necessary to correctly attribute the fear to humans.

11. "consider as a hobby or a desire" -> "consider it a hobby or a desire"
    Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect. The revision corrects the grammatical structure, making it more formal and clear.

12. "can affect to driver’s employment" -> "can affect drivers’ employment"
    Explanation: "Affect to" is grammatically incorrect. "Affect" should be followed by "drivers’ employment" to correctly indicate the impact on employment of drivers.

13. "which lead to the unemployment" -> "which leads to unemployment"
    Explanation: "Which lead" is grammatically incorrect. "Which leads" corrects the verb agreement and simplifies the phrase, enhancing clarity and formality.

14. "it’s inconvenient for pedestrian and vendors selling" -> "it is inconvenient for pedestrians and vendors selling"
    Explanation: "It’s" is a contraction and should be replaced with "it is" for formal writing. Also, "pedestrian" should be pluralized to "pedestrians" to match the plural context of "vendors".

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles, which is crucial for answering the prompt. The author discusses the convenience and safety improvements as advantages, while also mentioning issues like system disconnection and employment impacts as disadvantages. However, the treatment of these points lacks depth in some areas. For instance, while the advantages are presented with examples, the disadvantages could be elaborated further to provide a more balanced view.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should ensure that each advantage and disadvantage is explored in greater detail. For example, when discussing the advantages, specific statistics or studies could be referenced to support claims about safety improvements. Similarly, the disadvantages could benefit from more examples or a discussion of potential solutions to the problems raised.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that acknowledges both sides of the argument. However, the conclusion somewhat dilutes this clarity by suggesting a balance between driverless technology and human drivers without firmly stating whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This can create confusion about the author’s ultimate stance.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and conclusion. For instance, a definitive statement such as "I believe the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages" would provide clarity. Additionally, reinforcing this stance throughout the essay with consistent language would help solidify the position.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, particularly regarding the advantages of driverless vehicles, such as convenience and safety. However, some points are not fully developed. For example, the mention of accidents being improved lacks a detailed explanation of how this would occur, leaving the reader wanting more information.
  • How to improve: The author should aim to extend their ideas by providing more comprehensive explanations and examples. For instance, when discussing how driverless vehicles can reduce accidents, the author could include information about how AI technology can predict and react to potential hazards. This would not only strengthen the argument but also demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles. However, there are moments where the discussion veers slightly off course, such as when mentioning personal preferences for driving as a hobby. While relevant, this point could be more tightly connected to the overall argument about the impact of driverless vehicles.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates to the advantages or disadvantages of driverless vehicles. It may be helpful to outline the main points before writing to ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument. Additionally, using topic sentences that clearly relate back to the thesis can help keep the essay on track.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, improvements in depth, clarity, and focus would enhance the overall effectiveness of the argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing advantages to disadvantages feels abrupt, and the connection between ideas within paragraphs is sometimes weak. For example, the transition from the advantages of convenience to the drawbacks of connectivity issues lacks a clear linking statement that would guide the reader through the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer could use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "On the other hand," or "Conversely," can help to create smoother transitions between contrasting ideas. Structuring the essay to first discuss all advantages followed by all disadvantages may also improve clarity.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, but some paragraphs are overly long and contain multiple ideas that could be better organized. For example, the paragraph discussing advantages combines several points about convenience and safety without clearly delineating them, which can confuse the reader.
  • How to improve: The writer should consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller, more focused ones. Each paragraph should ideally address a single main idea or point. For instance, one paragraph could focus solely on the convenience of driverless vehicles, while another could discuss safety improvements. This would help maintain clarity and allow the reader to follow the argument more easily.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "moreover," and "additionally," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some devices are used repetitively. For instance, "however" is used to introduce contrasting points but could be varied with alternatives like "nevertheless" or "on the contrary" for better variety.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. This could include using synonyms or phrases that convey contrast, addition, or cause and effect. Additionally, the writer should ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately and enhances the clarity of the argument rather than disrupting the flow.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles, there is room for improvement in the organization of ideas, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By implementing these suggestions, the writer can enhance the coherence and cohesion of their essay, potentially raising their band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with terms like "advent of technology," "automobile," and "artificial intelligence." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation in word choice, such as the frequent use of "driverless," "automobile," and "transportation." This suggests a reliance on a narrow set of vocabulary to express ideas, which can limit the overall effectiveness of the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should explore synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "driverless," alternatives like "autonomous vehicles" or "self-driving cars" could be employed. Additionally, incorporating more descriptive adjectives and adverbs could enrich the text, such as using "cutting-edge technology" instead of just "technology."

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used correctly, there are instances of imprecise usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "change transportations from a driver to automobile" is awkward and unclear. The term "speed meal" is also vague and does not accurately convey the intended meaning, likely referring to "fast food" or "quick meals."
  • How to improve: The writer should focus on clarity and precision in word choice. For example, instead of "change transportations from a driver to automobile," a clearer phrase could be "transition from human-driven vehicles to autonomous ones." Additionally, replacing "speed meal" with "quick meal" or "fast food" would improve clarity.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "transportations" (should be "transportation"), "safety trip" (should be "safe trip"), and "inconvenient for pedestrian" (should be "inconvenient for pedestrians"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can affect the reader’s understanding.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading and utilize spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises and flashcards for commonly misspelled words can be beneficial. Reading more extensively can also help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "However, it is inevitable that there will be accident or some disconnected systems" uses a complex structure, which is a strength. However, many sentences are quite similar in structure, leading to a somewhat monotonous reading experience. For instance, the repeated use of "they can" and "human will" in multiple sentences limits the range of grammatical constructions.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences and varied clauses. For example, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "they" or "human," the writer could use introductory phrases or subordinate clauses, such as "Although many people prefer driving, the convenience of driverless vehicles cannot be overlooked." This approach not only adds variety but also improves the flow of ideas.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, "transportations from a driver to automobile" should be "transportation from a driver to an automobile." Additionally, the phrase "which make them waste their time to navigate" should be "which makes them waste their time navigating." Furthermore, there are instances of missing articles, such as "the birth of this invention can affect to driver’s employment," where "the" should precede "driver’s employment." Punctuation errors are also present, such as the lack of commas in compound sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring that commas are used to separate independent clauses will enhance clarity. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can also help identify and correct mistakes before finalizing the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of grammatical structures, there is significant room for improvement in both the variety of sentence constructions and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation. By diversifying sentence structures and focusing on grammatical precision, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

With the advent of technology and human intelligence, scientists are gradually transitioning transportation from driver-operated vehicles to autonomous ones. Mostly, this revolution comes from the demand for comfortable and safe travel. However, it is inevitable that accidents or system failures will occur.

There are several advantages that drive this shift in preference, especially for the convenience and awareness of people on the road. Technically, humans will request the location, and then this auto device will bring them to the exact position, which addresses several contemporary issues. For example, when they are in an unfamiliar place, they don’t have to stop by the road and search on the map, which wastes their time navigating. Or they may want to have a conversation with another person or have a quick meal without worrying about traffic lights. Moreover, accidents can be reduced, as well as individuals’ attitudes when traveling. Thanks to the assistance of artificial intelligence, humans will eliminate their fear of moving in crowded areas and traffic violations. Therefore, they can enjoy their trip and develop the driverless industry.

However, the appeal of advantages is associated with a range of problems. The main drawback is the connection, which becomes useless when disconnected. As a result, these autonomous vehicles can’t control the system or stop immediately. This causes traffic congestion and serious incidents. People will have an unpleasant experience when facing this issue. Furthermore, individuals would rather drive on their own because some of them consider it a hobby or a desire to take their customers to places. Additionally, the birth of this invention can affect drivers’ employment. They will seldom have passengers and receive less salary, which leads to unemployment. Also, when there are many inactive cars situated on the footpath, it is inconvenient for pedestrians and vendors selling.

In conclusion, it’s true that transportation will transform into autonomous vehicles, where there are only passengers. While they can enjoy convenience and safety, they may encounter some troubles during the trip when the system doesn’t work properly. I suggest that the government should balance the production of driverless vehicles and self-driving humans to allow the function of modern vehicles as well as individuals’ employment.