In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students in a classroom. Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach in teaching

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students in a classroom. Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach in teaching

It is true that these days some schools often use a lot of technology in lectures to teach students more easily instead of using traditional methods. In my point of view, this is a beneficial development to students.
Some people believe using technology in lecture will bring more risk than profit.For them, this practice may present several challenges. The reason is that the price to buy services is very costly,especially at schools in some remote areas. Moreover, in this area teachers less accessed to new technology don't know how to use it and can't adapt to these facilities, thus creating difficulties for students and teachers. In addition, it is suggested that some lectures use technology. It has a lot of games, entertainment,.ect this is the cause of children losing concentration in lessons and have a inequality results.
However, I firmly believe that using technology in modern methods is beneficial because it increasing grab the public attention. One clear advantage is that a teacher creating an attractive lesson with a lively photo and video will make students easily imagine and understand the lesson. Furthermore, it will help children become more confident when standing before people to presentation also ability to speak in public. Additionally, students must work by team not only by self-study, because in a team have another answer so this is the time you can give an idea and choose the best answers. Friends may teach and exchange knowledge that you unclearly.
In conclusion, it seems to me that there are many advantages for using technology in lessons, although this modern approach has notable disadvantages.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "It is true that these days" -> "It is indeed the case that nowadays"
   Explanation: "It is indeed the case that nowadays" refines the introduction by using more formal and precise language, enhancing the academic tone of the essay.

2. "some schools often use a lot of technology" -> "many educational institutions frequently employ extensive technology"
   Explanation: "Many educational institutions frequently employ extensive technology" replaces the informal "some schools often use a lot of technology" with a more formal and precise phrase, suitable for academic writing.

3. "to teach students more easily" -> "to facilitate student learning"
   Explanation: "to facilitate student learning" is a more formal and precise alternative to "to teach students more easily," which sounds overly simplistic and informal.

4. "In my point of view" -> "From my perspective"
   Explanation: "From my perspective" is a more formal expression than "In my point of view," aligning better with academic style.

5. "using technology in lecture will bring more risk than profit" -> "the use of technology in lectures may pose more risks than benefits"
   Explanation: "the use of technology in lectures may pose more risks than benefits" corrects the grammatical error and uses more formal language to express the potential drawbacks.

6. "The reason is that the price to buy services is very costly" -> "The primary concern is the high cost of acquiring these services"
   Explanation: "The primary concern is the high cost of acquiring these services" refines the sentence by using more precise and formal language, improving clarity and formality.

7. "especially at schools in some remote areas" -> "particularly in remote schools"
   Explanation: "particularly in remote schools" simplifies and clarifies the phrase, enhancing readability and formality.

8. "teachers less accessed to new technology don’t know how to use it" -> "teachers with limited access to new technology may not be familiar with its use"
   Explanation: This correction addresses grammatical errors and clarifies the meaning, making it more precise and formal.

9. "can’t adapt to these facilities" -> "may struggle to adapt to these technologies"
   Explanation: "may struggle to adapt to these technologies" uses more precise language and avoids the informal "can’t," aligning better with academic style.

10. "It has a lot of games, entertainment,.ect" -> "it offers numerous games and entertainment options"
    Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error and replaces the informal "a lot of" with "numerous," which is more formal and precise.

11. "losing concentration in lessons" -> "distracted during lessons"
    Explanation: "distracted during lessons" is a more precise and formal way to describe the impact of technology on student focus.

12. "have a inequality results" -> "achieve unequal results"
    Explanation: "achieve unequal results" corrects the grammatical error and uses more formal language.

13. "increasing grab the public attention" -> "increasingly capturing public attention"
    Explanation: "increasingly capturing public attention" corrects the grammatical error and uses more formal vocabulary.

14. "a teacher creating an attractive lesson with a lively photo and video" -> "a teacher designing an engaging lesson incorporating lively visuals"
    Explanation: "designing an engaging lesson incorporating lively visuals" refines the phrase to be more precise and academically appropriate.

15. "make students easily imagine and understand the lesson" -> "facilitate students’ easy comprehension and visualization of the lesson"
    Explanation: "facilitate students’ easy comprehension and visualization of the lesson" uses more formal and precise language, enhancing the academic tone.

16. "ability to speak in public" -> "public speaking skills"
    Explanation: "public speaking skills" is a more formal and concise way to express the ability to speak in public.

17. "must work by team not only by self-study" -> "must collaborate with peers as well as engage in self-study"
    Explanation: "collaborate with peers as well as engage in self-study" corrects the awkward phrasing and uses more formal academic language.

18. "in a team have another answer" -> "in a team, there are alternative answers"
    Explanation: "in a team, there are alternative answers" corrects the grammatical error and clarifies the meaning.

19. "this is the time you can give an idea and choose the best answers" -> "this is an opportunity to share ideas and select the best responses"
    Explanation: "this is an opportunity to share ideas and select the best responses" refines the sentence structure and vocabulary for a more formal academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of using technology in teaching, which is a key requirement of the prompt. The writer mentions the high costs of technology and the challenges faced by teachers in remote areas as disadvantages. On the other hand, the advantages discussed include enhanced engagement through multimedia and the development of teamwork skills among students. However, the discussion of disadvantages is somewhat underdeveloped compared to the advantages, which could lead to an imbalance in the response.
  • How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide more specific examples or evidence to support the disadvantages mentioned. For instance, discussing how the lack of training for teachers can lead to ineffective use of technology would strengthen the argument. Additionally, elaborating on the potential negative impacts on learning outcomes due to distractions from technology would provide a more comprehensive view.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The writer clearly states a position in favor of using technology in education, which is maintained throughout the essay. Phrases like "I firmly believe" and "it seems to me" indicate a strong personal stance. However, there are moments where the language could be more assertive, particularly when discussing the disadvantages, which may create a sense of ambiguity about the overall position.
  • How to improve: To enhance clarity, the writer could use more definitive language when presenting the disadvantages, perhaps by explicitly stating that these issues could undermine the benefits of technology. This would help reinforce the position and demonstrate a balanced perspective on the topic.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, particularly in favor of technology, such as increased engagement and improved public speaking skills. However, some points lack depth and supporting details. For example, the mention of "games" and "entertainment" as distractions is vague and could benefit from further explanation or examples to illustrate how these factors impact learning.
  • How to improve: The writer should aim to expand on each point made, providing specific examples or research to support claims. For instance, citing studies that show the effectiveness of multimedia in enhancing learning could strengthen the argument. Additionally, discussing how technology can be integrated thoughtfully to mitigate distractions would provide a more nuanced view.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay remains focused on the topic of technology in education. However, there are instances where the language becomes convoluted, such as "this is the time you can give an idea and choose the best answers," which could confuse the reader and detract from the main argument.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should strive for clearer and more concise language. Ensuring that each sentence directly contributes to the argument will help keep the reader engaged and reinforce the main points. Additionally, avoiding overly complex sentence structures can enhance clarity and coherence.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear position, there are areas for improvement in depth of analysis, clarity of expression, and balance between advantages and disadvantages. By providing more specific examples, using definitive language, and ensuring clarity, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of their response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing disadvantages to advantages is somewhat abrupt, which may confuse the reader. The first body paragraph focuses on the disadvantages but does not clearly delineate them before moving on to the advantages in the next paragraph.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that outline the main idea. For example, explicitly stating "While there are disadvantages to using technology in education, there are also significant advantages" at the start of the second body paragraph would help guide the reader more effectively.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but the effectiveness of these paragraphs is inconsistent. The first body paragraph is too long and contains multiple ideas that could be better organized. Additionally, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow of ideas, such as "this is the cause of children losing concentration in lessons and have a inequality results," which could be more clearly articulated.
  • How to improve: Break down longer paragraphs into smaller ones that focus on a single idea. For example, separate the discussion of the cost of technology and the challenges faced by teachers into two distinct paragraphs. This will make the essay easier to read and understand. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however" and "moreover," which help connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is limited, and some transitions are not effectively executed. For instance, the phrase "In addition" is used, but it could be more effectively linked to the previous sentence to clarify the relationship between ideas. There are also instances of awkward phrasing that hinder cohesion, such as "the price to buy services is very costly."
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "on the other hand," "in contrast," and "for instance." Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used in a way that clearly connects the ideas in the sentence. For example, instead of saying "In addition, it is suggested that some lectures use technology," clarify the connection by stating, "Furthermore, it is suggested that the integration of technology in lectures can lead to distractions."

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, improving the logical flow, paragraph structure, and range of cohesive devices will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "beneficial development," "costly," and "attractive lesson." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety and sophistication. For instance, phrases like "using technology in lectures" and "traditional methods" are repeated without variation. Additionally, terms such as "games" and "entertainment" could be expanded to include synonyms or more specific descriptors that convey a deeper understanding of the subject.
  • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeating "technology," they could use "digital tools," "educational software," or "online resources." Additionally, employing more academic or formal vocabulary, such as "pedagogical approaches" instead of "methods," would elevate the essay’s lexical quality.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the price to buy services is very costly" could be more accurately expressed as "the cost of implementing technological services can be prohibitive." Furthermore, the phrase "in this area teachers less accessed to new technology" is awkward and unclear; it should be "teachers in these areas have less access to new technology."
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and appropriateness of word choice. They should ensure that vocabulary accurately conveys the intended meaning. For example, instead of "creating difficulties for students and teachers," they could specify what difficulties arise, such as "creating barriers to effective learning." Additionally, reviewing phrases for grammatical correctness will enhance clarity.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "ect" (which should be "etc."), "inequality results" (which is unclear and may be intended to mean "unequal results"), and "presentation also ability" (which should be "presentation, as well as the ability"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, ideally reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial. Furthermore, practicing writing with a focus on spelling can help reinforce correct forms.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic command of vocabulary, there is significant room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and focusing on spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and some complex sentences. For instance, the sentence "In my point of view, this is a beneficial development to students" is a straightforward structure. However, there is a reliance on similar sentence forms, such as "It is true that…" and "Some people believe…", which limits the variety. The use of phrases like "One clear advantage is that…" shows some attempt at complexity, but overall, the essay could benefit from more varied sentence beginnings and structures to enhance readability and engagement.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice using different types of clauses (e.g., relative clauses, conditional clauses) and varying sentence lengths. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Some people believe," the writer could use introductory phrases or transition words like "Although some argue that…" or "While it is true that…". Incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses would also enrich the writing.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, the phrase "the price to buy services is very costly,especially at schools in some remote areas" lacks a space after the comma, and "teachers less accessed to new technology" should be "teachers who have less access to new technology." Additionally, there are instances of incorrect verb forms, such as "it increasing grab the public attention," which should be "it increases and grabs the public’s attention." The use of commas is inconsistent, as seen in "a lot of games, entertainment,.ect," where "ect" should be "etc." and the comma placement is incorrect.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct verb forms, and the proper use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reviewing common grammatical structures can help. For punctuation, the writer should pay attention to comma usage, especially in lists and before conjunctions. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors, allowing for corrections before final submission.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and attempts to engage with the prompt, there are notable areas for improvement in both grammatical range and accuracy. By diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical precision, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is indeed the case that nowadays many educational institutions frequently employ extensive technology in lectures to facilitate student learning, moving away from traditional methods. From my perspective, this development offers significant benefits to students.

Some people believe that the use of technology in lectures may pose more risks than benefits. For them, this practice may present several challenges. The primary concern is the high cost of acquiring these services, particularly in remote schools. Moreover, teachers with limited access to new technology may not be familiar with its use and may struggle to adapt to these technologies, thus creating difficulties for both students and educators. In addition, it is suggested that some lectures incorporating technology may offer numerous games and entertainment options, which can lead to students becoming distracted during lessons and achieving unequal results.

However, I firmly believe that the use of technology in modern teaching methods is beneficial because it is increasingly capturing public attention. One clear advantage is that a teacher designing an engaging lesson incorporating lively visuals and videos will facilitate students’ easy comprehension and visualization of the lesson. Furthermore, it will help children become more confident when presenting in front of an audience, enhancing their public speaking skills. Additionally, students must collaborate with peers as well as engage in self-study, as working in a team allows for alternative answers. This is an opportunity to share ideas and select the best responses, while friends can teach and exchange knowledge that may not be clear to everyone.

In conclusion, it seems to me that there are many advantages to using technology in lessons, although this modern approach does have notable disadvantages.