In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons？Is this a positive or negative development？

It is observed that the differences between cities or countries has disappeared. This homogenization stems from several causes, and I personally believe such tendency has both negative and positive sides.

First, worldwide cities are increasingly becoming similar mainly because of the globalization.
As countries in the world are facing ever-increasing similar urban problems such as air pollution, shortage of residential housing, or growing traffic volume, it is reasonable for them to learn from each other, and so they can easily adopt the most effective structure or design from other metropolises to construct their cities given the advancement of technology and the widespread of communication network. This can be seen in the way the details and layout of many cities in some developing countries such as Vietnam or Laos are imitating those of some developed European nations, with numerous high-rise buildings, shopping centers, and various services located within the city center.

This movement, however, is both positive and negative to an equal extent. Regarding positive sides, the assimilation of urban structure can create a sense of friendliness or familiarity as well as a sense of shared identity in our society, such interconnection potentially diminishing the prejudices among diverse population. Nonetheless, architectures generally reflect the features of customs and traditional values of a nation, so such adoption can lead to the erosion of cultural diversity and customs. Moreover, the loss of differences between regions may also exert negative impacts on the development of tourism and, by extension, the economy of host countries.

In conclusion, the synchronization of cities’ design all over the world originates from the accelerated globalization and the need to deal with various urban issues and could bring both drawbacks and benefits to our society.

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Errors and Improvements:

"It is observed that" -> "It is evident that"
Explanation: "It is observed that" is somewhat passive and less direct. "It is evident that" conveys a clearer assertion in a more formal tone.
"differences between cities or countries has disappeared" -> "disparities among cities or countries have diminished"
Explanation: "Differences between cities or countries has disappeared" lacks precision and uses informal language. "Disparities among cities or countries have diminished" is more accurate and maintains a formal tone.
"such tendency has both negative and positive sides" -> "such trend has both adverse and beneficial aspects"
Explanation: "Tendency" is a bit vague and informal. "Trend" is more precise in an academic context. "Negative and positive sides" is colloquial; "adverse and beneficial aspects" is more suitable for a formal essay.
"First" -> "Primarily"
Explanation: "First" is a simple transition word. "Primarily" is more sophisticated and fitting for academic writing.
"worldwide cities" -> "cities worldwide"
Explanation: "Worldwide cities" is awkward phrasing. In academic writing, adjectives often come before nouns, so "cities worldwide" is more appropriate.
"reason for them to learn" -> "reason for them to acquire"
Explanation: "Learn" is slightly informal in this context. "Acquire" is more formal and aligns better with academic style.
"given the advancement of technology and the widespread of communication network" -> "due to technological advancements and the proliferation of communication networks"
Explanation: "Given the advancement of technology" is wordy and less precise. "Due to technological advancements" is concise and maintains a formal tone. "Widespread of communication network" should be "proliferation of communication networks" for grammatical correctness and clarity.
"This movement, however, is both positive and negative to an equal extent." -> "However, this phenomenon has both positive and negative implications."
Explanation: "This movement, however, is both positive and negative to an equal extent" is a bit repetitive and informal. "However, this phenomenon has both positive and negative implications" is more concise and academically appropriate.
"Regarding positive sides" -> "Regarding the positive aspects"
Explanation: "Regarding positive sides" is colloquial. "Regarding the positive aspects" is more formal and precise.
"the assimilation of urban structure" -> "the homogenization of urban landscapes"
Explanation: "Assimilation of urban structure" is less precise. "Homogenization of urban landscapes" better conveys the idea of cities becoming more similar in structure and design.
"can create a sense of friendliness or familiarity" -> "can foster a sense of camaraderie and familiarity"
Explanation: "Create a sense of friendliness or familiarity" is somewhat informal. "Foster a sense of camaraderie and familiarity" is more sophisticated and aligns better with academic style.
"such interconnection potentially diminishing" -> "such interconnection potentially diminishes"
Explanation: "Potentially diminishing" is not grammatically correct. "Potentially diminishes" is the correct form for parallelism and maintains formal language.
"Nonetheless" -> "However"
Explanation: "Nonetheless" is slightly informal. "However" is a more common transition word in academic writing.
"architectures" -> "architectural styles"
Explanation: "Architectures" is not the correct term in this context. "Architectural styles" is more accurate and formal.
"the features of customs and traditional values of a nation" -> "the cultural customs and traditional values of a nation"
Explanation: "Features of customs" is awkward phrasing. "Cultural customs" is more precise and maintains a formal tone.
"the erosion of cultural diversity and customs" -> "the erosion of cultural diversity and heritage"
Explanation: "Customs" is repeated unnecessarily. "Cultural diversity and heritage" provides a more comprehensive and concise description.
"may also exert negative impacts" -> "may also have adverse effects"
Explanation: "Exert negative impacts" is somewhat informal. "Have adverse effects" is more formal and precise.
"the synchronization of cities’ design all over the world" -> "the global synchronization of urban design"
Explanation: "The synchronization of cities’ design all over the world" is wordy. "The global synchronization of urban design" is more concise and maintains a formal tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the prompt. It discusses the reasons for the increasing similarity between cities globally and evaluates whether this trend is positive or negative.
- The essay acknowledges the factors contributing to the homogenization of cities, such as globalization and the shared challenges faced by urban areas worldwide.
- It also considers both the positive and negative implications of this trend, discussing aspects like cultural assimilation, shared identity, and economic impacts.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, consider providing more specific examples to illustrate the points made. Additionally, ensure that the analysis of positive and negative aspects is balanced and equally detailed.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting that the homogenization of cities has both positive and negative consequences.
- The writer consistently expresses their viewpoint by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of the phenomenon.
- Each paragraph supports the stated position, providing arguments and examples to reinforce the perspective.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, explicitly state the writer’s stance in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Additionally, ensure that all supporting points align with the established position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas related to the topic.
- Ideas are introduced logically, with clear topic sentences that guide the reader through the essay.
- Each idea is elaborated upon with relevant examples and explanations, such as citing specific urban problems and their global prevalence.
- The writer extends the discussion by considering the broader societal implications of city homogenization, such as impacts on cultural diversity and tourism.
- How to improve: To further enhance idea development, deepen the analysis by exploring counterarguments or alternative perspectives. Additionally, ensure that all examples provided directly support the main arguments presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but may benefit from more focused discussion in certain sections.
- The majority of the essay addresses the reasons for the increasing similarity between cities and evaluates its positive and negative implications.
- However, there are instances where the discussion slightly deviates, such as briefly mentioning the impact on tourism without fully exploring this aspect.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the central theme of city homogenization and its effects. Avoid introducing tangential ideas that detract from the main argument.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, enhancing the depth of analysis and maintaining focused discussion can further strengthen the coherence and impact of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization of information. It begins with a clear introduction that sets up the discussion about the increasing similarity of cities worldwide. The body paragraphs effectively present reasons for this phenomenon, discussing globalization and its impact on urban development. The conclusion neatly summarizes the main points discussed. However, there is a minor issue with the logical flow within paragraphs, particularly in the second body paragraph where the discussion transitions somewhat abruptly from positive aspects to negative aspects of city homogenization.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure smoother transitions between ideas within paragraphs. For example, in the second body paragraph, a clearer transition sentence could be added to signal the shift from discussing positive aspects to negative aspects of city homogenization. Additionally, consider maintaining a consistent focus within each paragraph to avoid potential confusion for the reader.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to structure its content, with clear separation between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. However, some paragraphs could benefit from further development to fully explore the ideas presented.
- How to improve: Consider expanding on each point within the body paragraphs to provide more depth and clarity. For instance, in the second body paragraph, the discussion of positive and negative aspects of city homogenization could be elaborated upon with additional examples or explanations. This would strengthen the argument and provide a more comprehensive analysis of the topic.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Examples include transitional phrases like "First," "Nonetheless," and "In conclusion," which help to guide the reader through the essay’s structure. Additionally, cohesive devices such as pronouns ("this movement," "such adoption") and conjunctions ("however," "moreover") are used to link related ideas within and between sentences.
- How to improve: While the essay demonstrates proficiency in using cohesive devices, further diversification and precision in their usage could enhance coherence. For instance, consider incorporating a wider variety of transition words and phrases to signal different types of relationships between ideas, such as cause and effect or comparison and contrast. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently and appropriately throughout the essay to maintain clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable breadth of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "homogenization," "assimilation," "prejudices," "eradication," and "synchronization." These words contribute to conveying nuanced ideas and perspectives on the topic.
- How to improve: While the essay displays a strong vocabulary range, there is room for enhancement through the incorporation of more precise and contextually fitting vocabulary. Additionally, utilizing more diverse synonyms and idiomatic expressions could further enrich the lexical variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying intended meanings. For instance, the term "homogenization" accurately describes the process of cities becoming more similar worldwide. However, there are instances where more precise vocabulary choices could enhance clarity and depth of expression.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, consider substituting generic terms with more specific ones where appropriate. For example, instead of "urban issues," specifying particular challenges like "infrastructure congestion" or "environmental degradation" could add clarity and specificity to the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay exhibits a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. However, there are a few instances of minor errors, such as "eradication" (misspelled as "erection") and "homogenization" (misspelled as "homogenisation").
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, it is advisable to proofread the essay carefully, paying close attention to commonly misspelled words and utilizing spell-checking tools if available. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises can aid in reinforcing correct spelling patterns.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary, effectively conveying complex ideas and arguments. By refining precision and ensuring spelling accuracy, the writer can further elevate the coherence and effectiveness of their expression, potentially achieving an even higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. There is successful employment of subordinate clauses ("such as air pollution," "such interconnection potentially diminishing the prejudices among diverse population"), complex sentences ("This movement, however, is both positive and negative to an equal extent"), and relative clauses ("countries in the world are facing ever-increasing similar urban problems"). However, there is room for improvement in the variety of sentence types and structures to enhance the overall coherence and fluency of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity and effectiveness of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence types, such as exclamatory or imperative sentences, to add emphasis or engage the reader further. Additionally, varying the length of sentences can contribute to a more dynamic writing style, thus improving readability and maintaining the reader’s interest.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy with few noticeable errors. However, there are instances where minor grammatical issues arise, such as subject-verb agreement ("the differences between cities or countries has disappeared" should be "have disappeared") and sentence structure clarity ("This homogenization stems from several causes, and I personally believe such tendency has both negative and positive sides" could be clearer if separated into two sentences for better coherence). Punctuation is used effectively for the most part, though there are occasional instances where it could be improved for clarity and precision.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, careful proofreading is essential to identify and correct errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure. Additionally, paying attention to punctuation rules, particularly regarding comma usage for clarity and coherence, can help refine the writer’s expression and ensure the reader understands the intended meaning without ambiguity. Practice incorporating complex sentence structures while maintaining grammatical precision to enhance the overall sophistication of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is evident that disparities among cities or countries have diminished, leading to a homogenization of urban landscapes. Such a trend has both adverse and beneficial aspects. Primarily, cities worldwide are becoming more alike due to technological advancements and the proliferation of communication networks. This phenomenon has both positive and negative implications.

Regarding the positive aspects, the assimilation of urban structures can foster a sense of camaraderie and familiarity among people. Such interconnection potentially diminishes prejudices among diverse populations. However, the global synchronization of urban design may also have adverse effects. Architectural styles generally reflect the cultural customs and traditional values of a nation, so the erosion of cultural diversity and heritage is a concern. Moreover, the loss of differences between regions may negatively impact tourism and the economy of host countries.

In conclusion, the homogenization of cities worldwide stems from globalization and the need to address urban issues. While it can create a sense of shared identity and facilitate cooperation, it also poses challenges such as cultural erosion and economic implications. Therefore, it is essential to carefully consider the implications of this trend on both local and global levels.