In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way.
Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In recent years, most advertising companies have focused on the newness of their products such as designs, functions, or new updates to introduce and enhance their brand. This essay will show the reasons and shed light on both views whether it is a positive or negative trend.
One of the efforts in highlighting the innovations of enterprises is to set the brands apart from their competitors. If any businesses succeed in constantly renewing and launching better products, they will be able to lead the market and have an opportunity to improve their brand which is extremely vital for generating high turnovers. For example, Apple always has marketing strategies when their new iPhone is released which helps them become the 1st enterprise in the technological industry. Another significant reason for the decision to emphasize newness is consumer perception. Individuals always assume that new products will be better than the old ones. It coincidentally generates excitement and curiosity in customers, especially some potential clients who want to polish themselves.
In my opinion, continuous innovations in developing the brands and generating products’ unique features are highly essential. Particularly, R&D is one of the keys to the success of many large corporations and companies in the world. That’s why every business always seeks to create products that are suitable for customers and simultaneously enhance and diversify products. For instance, in order to capture high-quality photos with my phone, I bought an iPhone 15 with an upgraded camera and expanded storage.
In conclusion, more businesses choose to emphasize the outstanding of their new products as a way to be predominant in their fields and also to attract more customers which increases more revenue. For me, efforts in advertising about the newness are really positive not only in building enterprise brands but also in improving consumer demands.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "newness" -> "innovation" or "novelty"
   Explanation: While "newness" is not necessarily incorrect, using "innovation" or "novelty" would align better with academic style and provide a more precise description of the focus on product advancements.

2. "shed light on both views whether it is a positive or negative trend" -> "examine both perspectives, evaluating whether it represents a positive or negative trend"
   Explanation: The phrase "shed light on" is somewhat informal. "Examine both perspectives" is more formal and direct, and "whether it is a positive or negative trend" can be rephrased for clarity and formality.

3. "enterprises" -> "companies" or "corporations"
   Explanation: "Enterprises" is a bit less formal compared to "companies" or "corporations," which are commonly used in academic contexts.

4. "For example, Apple always has marketing strategies when their new iPhone is released which helps them become the 1st enterprise in the technological industry." -> "For instance, Apple consistently implements marketing strategies upon the release of their new iPhone models, enabling them to maintain a leading position in the technology industry."
   Explanation: The original sentence lacks precision and formal tone. "Always has marketing strategies" can be replaced with "consistently implements marketing strategies," and "1st enterprise in the technological industry" can be improved to "maintain a leading position in the technology industry."

5. "Another significant reason for the decision to emphasize newness is consumer perception." -> "Another crucial factor driving the emphasis on innovation is consumer perception."
   Explanation: "Significant reason" can be replaced with "crucial factor" for more formal language, and "to emphasize newness" can be replaced with "the emphasis on innovation" for clarity and precision.

6. "Individuals always assume that new products will be better than the old ones." -> "Consumers often anticipate that new products will surpass their predecessors."
   Explanation: "Always assume" can be toned down to "often anticipate," which is more precise. Additionally, "individuals" can be replaced with "consumers" for clarity.

7. "It coincidentally generates excitement and curiosity in customers, especially some potential clients who want to polish themselves." -> "This generates excitement and curiosity among customers, particularly among potential clients seeking self-improvement."
   Explanation: "It coincidentally generates" can be simplified to "This generates," and "some potential clients who want to polish themselves" can be refined to "potential clients seeking self-improvement" for clarity and formality.

8. "continuous innovations" -> "sustained innovation"
   Explanation: "Continuous innovations" can be replaced with "sustained innovation" for a more precise and formal expression.

9. "diversify products" -> "diversify their product offerings"
   Explanation: Adding "offerings" after "products" provides clarity and aligns better with formal language.

10. "In order to capture high-quality photos with my phone, I bought an iPhone 15 with an upgraded camera and expanded storage." -> "To achieve high-quality photography with my mobile device, I purchased an iPhone 15 equipped with an enhanced camera and increased storage capacity."
    Explanation: The revised sentence maintains clarity while employing more formal language and precise descriptions.

11. "more businesses choose to emphasize the outstanding of their new products" -> "more businesses opt to highlight the excellence of their new products"
    Explanation: "Emphasize the outstanding" can be refined to "highlight the excellence" for a more formal and precise expression.

12. "positive" -> "beneficial"
    Explanation: "Positive" can be replaced with "beneficial" for a more formal tone and precise meaning.

13. "not only in building enterprise brands but also in improving consumer demands" -> "in both enhancing corporate branding and stimulating consumer demand"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence provides a smoother flow and aligns better with academic style by using "enhancing corporate branding" instead of "building enterprise brands."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing the reasons why businesses emphasize the newness of their products and presenting arguments for both the positive and negative aspects of this trend.
  • How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, ensure that each viewpoint (positive and negative) is supported with equal depth and clarity. Provide more specific examples or evidence to bolster the analysis.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position by advocating for the importance of emphasizing product innovation. The stance is evident from the introduction to the conclusion.
  • How to improve: To strengthen clarity, consider explicitly stating the author’s position earlier in the essay and reinforcing it with stronger language throughout.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas on why businesses emphasize newness adequately and extends them with examples such as Apple’s marketing strategies. However, some ideas lack elaboration and could benefit from further development.
  • How to improve: To improve idea presentation, provide more in-depth analysis and elaboration on each point. Use a variety of examples and evidence to support arguments more comprehensively.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay stays on topic by discussing why businesses emphasize the newness of their products and evaluating the positive and negative aspects of this trend. However, there are minor instances where the connection to the topic could be strengthened.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that every paragraph directly relates to the central theme of the essay. Avoid tangential discussions that do not contribute to the overall argument.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, there is room for improvement in providing more comprehensive analysis, extending ideas with stronger examples, and maintaining consistent relevance to the topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:
  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization by presenting reasons for businesses emphasizing newness in advertising and discussing both positive and negative aspects. It effectively introduces the topic, presents supporting points, and concludes with a concise summary. However, there are moments where the flow could be smoother, such as the transition between discussing reasons for emphasizing new products and the personal opinion section.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using transitional phrases or sentences to connect ideas more effectively. For instance, after discussing reasons for emphasizing newness, seamlessly lead into the personal opinion by summarizing the preceding points and introducing the shift in focus.
• Use Paragraphs:
  • Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into three paragraphs, each addressing a distinct aspect: reasons for emphasizing newness, personal opinion, and conclusion. While the essay adheres to paragraph structure, the second paragraph could be further developed to provide more depth and clarity to the argument.
  • How to improve: Strengthen the second paragraph by providing additional examples or elaborating on the importance of continuous innovation and its impact on consumer behavior. Ensure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument cohesively.
• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words ("One of the efforts," "Another significant reason," "In my opinion," "For example," "For instance," "In conclusion") and pronouns ("it," "they," "which"), to connect ideas and maintain coherence. However, there is room for improvement in the seamless integration and diversification of these devices.
  • How to improve: Continue using cohesive devices to signal relationships between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, consider incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices, such as synonyms, parallel structures, and conjunctions, to enhance clarity and cohesion throughout the essay. Ensure cohesive devices are used purposefully to reinforce the overall argument and improve readability.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, encompassing terms like "innovations," "enterprise," "brand," "turnovers," "perception," "R&D," "predominant," and "revenue." These lexical choices effectively convey the writer’s ideas and contribute to the coherence of the essay.
  • How to improve: To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic. For example, instead of repeatedly using "new products," variations such as "novel offerings," "cutting-edge solutions," or "innovative merchandise" could enrich the expression and elevate the discourse.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, as evident in phrases like "highlighting the innovations," "continuous innovations," and "upgraded camera." However, there are instances where the use of vocabulary could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "some potential clients who want to polish themselves" might be ambiguous and could benefit from clarification or a more precise term.
  • How to improve: To ensure precise vocabulary usage, carefully consider the context in which each word or phrase is employed. Avoid ambiguous or vague language that could obscure the intended meaning. Additionally, strive to use terminology that precisely conveys the intended message, enhancing the clarity and coherence of the essay.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally maintained throughout the essay, with no glaring errors detracting from readability. However, there are a few instances where minor spelling errors are present, such as "enterprises" instead of "enterprise" and "photographes" instead of "photos."
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider proofreading the essay carefully to identify and correct any spelling errors before submission. Utilize spelling checkers or seek feedback from peers or educators to ensure thoroughness in identifying and rectifying such errors. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words can help mitigate spelling mistakes in future writing endeavors.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a commendable range of sentence structures, including complex sentences, compound sentences, and simple sentences. There is evidence of varied sentence beginnings and lengths, contributing to overall coherence and readability. For instance, the essay employs relative clauses ("One of the efforts in highlighting the innovations of enterprises is to set the brands apart from their competitors"), conditional structures ("If any businesses succeed in constantly renewing and launching better products, they will be able to lead the market"), and appositive constructions ("For example, Apple always has marketing strategies when their new iPhone is released"). These diverse structures enhance the essay’s effectiveness by providing clarity and engaging the reader.
  • How to improve: While the essay demonstrates proficiency in utilizing a range of structures, further incorporation of more sophisticated syntactic forms, such as inversion or passive constructions, could elevate the sophistication of the writing. Additionally, ensuring that the varied structures are used purposefully to convey nuanced meaning or emphasis would enhance the overall impact of the essay.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, with only occasional errors that do not significantly impede comprehension. However, there are instances where subject-verb agreement issues occur ("Individuals always assume that new products will be better than the old ones"), and punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences ("For instance, in order to capture high-quality photos with my phone, I bought an iPhone 15 with an upgraded camera and expanded storage"). These errors slightly detract from the overall clarity and precision of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistency throughout the essay. Additionally, revisiting punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in compound sentences and after introductory phrases, would help eliminate errors and improve readability. Proofreading carefully before final submission is crucial to catch and correct these minor errors.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, advertising companies have increasingly focused on highlighting the newness of their products, whether it be through designs, functions, or updates, aiming to bolster their brand presence. This essay will examine the reasons behind this trend and assess whether it represents a positive or negative development.

One primary motivation for emphasizing product innovation is the desire of businesses to distinguish themselves from competitors. By consistently introducing improved products, companies can gain a competitive edge and solidify their position in the market, crucial for enhancing brand value and driving sales. For instance, Apple employs strategic marketing campaigns with each new iPhone release, enabling them to maintain a leading position in the technology industry.

Another significant factor contributing to the emphasis on newness is consumer perception. Consumers tend to anticipate that new products will surpass their predecessors, fostering excitement and curiosity, particularly among those seeking self-improvement. This anticipation not only drives consumer interest but also fuels demand for innovative products.

In my view, continuous innovation in product development and branding is imperative for the success of businesses. Research and development (R&D) play a pivotal role in the success of many corporations worldwide, driving the creation of products tailored to meet consumer needs while simultaneously enhancing product diversity. For example, in my own experience, I opted for an iPhone 15 equipped with an enhanced camera and increased storage capacity to achieve superior photography capabilities with my mobile device.

In conclusion, the emphasis on highlighting the excellence of new products serves as a strategic approach for businesses to maintain competitiveness and stimulate consumer demand, ultimately leading to increased revenue. From my perspective, such efforts in advertising the newness of products have a positive impact, not only in bolstering brand recognition but also in meeting evolving consumer preferences.